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Topic : 08/06 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 5

Number of Replies: 185
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Created on : Friday, February 23, 2007, 02:08:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 06/26/07) Three couples trying to save their marriages continue their work at The Dr. Phil House. Throughout their relationship, Scott and Tara have had violent fights that have included slashed tires and police visits. Dr. Phil sits down with Scott to discuss how he can control his anger problem and set up personal boundaries that will put an end to the fighting with his wife. Afterward, Scott feels confident enough to vow to Tara that he is never going to yell at her again. Will he stick by his declaration? Then, Dr. Phil puts the group through some intense exercises, so they can learn their partner’s point of view. As each person stands before the group and explains what he or she really wants, raw emotions pour out, and the couples find themselves growing closer with compassionate support. Plus, Dr. Phil teaches them his rules for fighting (link to /articles/article/20 ) and his rules for children. After seeing a videotape of all their kids, the message is loud and clear. Will the couples apply what they’ve learned and change their families forever? Share your thoughts here.

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February 26, 2007, 1:00 pm CST

You are welcome.

Quote From: alfie316_2000

I would like to thank everyone for thier interest in my life.  I respect and appreciate all of the opinions, weather they se my side of it or not.  This is a free country and thank  God we have the right to believe and express outselves as we want.  I have been here devoted to the message board reading  what everyone has to say.  I appreciate how much everyone cares enough to spend so much time on my life.  I am glad to see that this has not just been motivating to myself, but others as well.  For all who have supported me and seen the true me, a Special THANKS!!!

 

Amanda from the show 

Amanda,

 

I don't know how it will all end up next week but I am rooting for you and your family.   I am like you and would never let me family go hungry.  I would work 3 jobs, including stripping if I needed to in order to feed my family. 

 

Best of everything to you.

 
February 26, 2007, 1:12 pm CST

I'm w/you

Quote From: kphilips10

...with your evaluation of a stripper.  You say "she is being seen".  That doesn't mean she is seeing herself as a sexual object.  And, let's face it, unless a man is gay, all women are viewed by some man as sexual objects.  I really think that for Amanda stripping is just a job.  I think she is a strong, determined woman.

 

I think you are right about Nick being weak.  I couldn't be married to a weak man.  I am too strong willed and would just walk all over him -- and then not respect him.

 

Amanda is definitely the best of the women.  I bet she could tame good ole boy Scott!  Now THAT would be worth watching!

"...unless a man is gay, all women are viewed by some man as sexual objects."

 

True. Otherwise, why is sexual harassment in "normal" workplaces such a problem? Ironically enough, from what I've been told by male friends about strip clubs, owing to the strong presence of bouncers, Amanda is probably less likely to be bothered in that way there than she would be as a receptionist somewhere. Of course, the downside to the profession is that it's not known for career longevity, so she may want to contemplate her "exit strategy" sooner rather than later, for her own well-being, JMO

 
February 26, 2007, 1:20 pm CST

Proud Of All Couples

 I am proud of each of the couples, It took alot for them to be on the show and confess everything most of all work on their relationship & they way they act in front of their children.
Nic & Amanda: I am proud of Nic for expressing his feelings, I am glad to see he is seeing what stripping can do to a family. Amanda should realize how much this affects her family...I know she is a very devoted mother but she is not devoted to herself if she can just flaunt herself like that. If she is is a devoted mother she should take a job at the local coffee shop then instead of stripping..I hope she finds a new job. John & Cherie: I am glad to see Cherie finally stood up to John, but her reaction to when john was speaking with his mother in law and she said she didnt believe his words...that was wrong it takes ALOT of guts for a man to stand up to the mother in law. Scott & Tara: I am impressed on how Scott did a complete 360 by the time he left the Dr Phil house...They have accomplished alot and their date was so romantic and I hope it brought them closer together.

These couples need to focus on two things and these two things are: Their Children & Their Relationship, Their Children are very important, like Dr Phil said what they see in the home is what they learn in life, Their Relationship is important as well as you need to have a safe, loving secure relationship to reflect onto your children...I wish the couples luck and cant wait to see the update show on them!!

 
February 26, 2007, 1:21 pm CST

man camp!!!

i think this man camp is a great series as we can all learn from other couples in trouble and sometimes see our mistakes that we are making from watching how others handle theirs and the advice of dr.phil. i do believe the series is being stretched out tooo long as in todays show i believe what took an hour could have been handled in a lot less time and even had the next show included in todays show instead of doing a final part to man camp next monday///  good luck to all the couples and where there is a will there is a way.
 
February 26, 2007, 1:36 pm CST

All Too True

Quote From: witch13

I was raised in a family where there was no bad language, no swearing (my mom used to be a nun).  But I still ended up with an abusive husband.  At one point, you start talking their language because you feel like they do not understand otherwise!

 

He was not abusive at all in the beginning.  Actually, he was a perfect gentleman, which is the case with most of the violent men.  From the outside, a violent man appears to be the greatest husband, the kindest one!  Once, you realize you are in an abusive relationship, it is often too late, too complicated to get out of it!  He became physically abusive about 2 1/2 years after the beginning of our relationship.  And, looking back now, I can tell you he became psychologically abusive about 8 months before, when I was about 5 months pregnant.  Pregnancy is often a trigger for violent men, who might not have been violent at all before, not even in another relationship.

 

A lot of people are being psychologically abused without knowing it; remarks on how you do things, on how you look, avoiding saying something to avoid confrontation, etc. 

 

I came to one conclusion throughout my thinking process.  Aside from specialized psychologists, no one can really understand what being in an abusive relationship is like.  However, people are easily judging; the abusive husband is not the only one with a problem to fix, the victim as well has to learn how to change her behaviors.  If the problem was only the abuser, as a lot of people think, it would be much more easier to get out of an abusive relationship, but it is unfortunately much more complex than that!  And also much more common in relationships than you can imagine...

 

"None of these couples would ever be found among my circle of friends"

 

You might not know it, but there is most likely one of the people you know that is in an abusive relationship.  In Canada, there is 1 in 6 couples that are involved in an abusive relationship and we are your northen neighbors, our countries are a lot alike...  And, believe me, if one of your friends is indeed in an abusive relationship, I can guarantee you that she won't come to you for help, knowing your views on the subject.  She won't request your help because she would feel judged and misunderstood.  What a victim needs is unconditionnal support and to be listened too without any judgement.  A battered woman goes through a lot of emotions from denial of being a victim to shame of being a victim to feeling unworthy of deserving a better life.

 

So, please be carefull on what you say in public about this subject because you might contribute to a woman's abusive relationship by telling her you don't understand why women stay in these kind of relationships and she won't go to you for help.  She will interiorate her feelings and stay in it!

 

Judgement from friends and family is often worse than the abuse itself!

"..the victim as well has to...change her behaviors."   An excellent restatement of the Dr. Phil-ism "We teach people how to treat us." So victims (I prefer the term "targets," as they are targets of bullying behavior) need to re-learn both thought and behavior patterns to be able to truly break the cycle. Not only would it be easier to get out, it would be easier to stay out of abusive relationships. Unfortunately, very few victims/targets in abusive relationships realize this, so they wind up in the same behavior pattern again and again.

 

I would be surprised if the stats in the US were that different from those in Canada...In just about every town I lived, I knew of at least one abusive relationship in my circle of acquaintances. And, yes, for the most part, they were "professional" mid-to-upper income, relatively well-educated people...it's a total myth that abuse is confined to the lower socioeconomic ignoramuses of the world.

 
February 26, 2007, 1:55 pm CST

Tara and Sherry

I could not believe the gall of Sherry and Tara.  These two are the most judgmental people I've ever seen.  Their opinion of Amanda because of her job is snobby.  That conversation they had with Amanda's husband was over the line.  Amanda's marriage is none of their business.  I feel they were influencing a fight between Nick and Amanda.  These two need keep their comments to themselves.  They can't fix their own marriage and they're telling Nick what to do?  My advice to Sherry: Get your nose out of the air. You are not any better then anyone else.  My advice to Tara:  Keep your mouth shut.  You are no one to judge that girl. 
 
February 26, 2007, 2:05 pm CST

You're great!

Quote From: alfie316_2000

I would like to thank everyone for thier interest in my life.  I respect and appreciate all of the opinions, weather they se my side of it or not.  This is a free country and thank  God we have the right to believe and express outselves as we want.  I have been here devoted to the message board reading  what everyone has to say.  I appreciate how much everyone cares enough to spend so much time on my life.  I am glad to see that this has not just been motivating to myself, but others as well.  For all who have supported me and seen the true me, a Special THANKS!!!

 

Amanda from the show 

I think of all the women, you inspire me most.  You handle things well, and I think that your relationship is going to last.  Despite not liking your job, I respect the person you are and think you'll be very successful in the future.  Good luck...it's not easy, but I know you've got what it takes!
 
February 26, 2007, 2:06 pm CST

Wishing All of them the Best

This was a very interesting series and I hope that all the couples involved we be able to use the information they received.  An unhappy marriage is the closest thing to hell on earth.
 
February 26, 2007, 2:21 pm CST

Say it ain't so!

There I was, feelin' all warm and fuzzy after the couples had spoken and were leaving the house.Then-WHAM-I was blindsided! A follow up show with possibly terrible news! Oh well, I hope it's not all that bad. I still hope for the best for all of them.
 
February 26, 2007, 2:23 pm CST

Im hooked

I have been watching since the beginning.

I love Dr. Phils show, I find it very informative and I take things away from each show that I learn it seems.

The man camp has been very interesting and I am hooked!  I would love to believe that each of the couples go home and everything gets turned around, however, when they go home, they go back to their real lives, real stresses and everything will probably fall apart. 

Their intentions are good, they seemed to learn alot, the difference is that they wont have Dr. Phil to help them in their daily struggles.  Everyone can set good intentions and promise to change when they are in the safety of Dr. Phil and the house, they are away from all their daily stresses and the children, when they get home, there isnt time in the real world to have the dates they need, and for Amanda, she can quit her job, which will certainly help her situation in one hand, however, in another she will have the stress of finances and making ends meet.  That too is a huge stress to take on, unless she finds another job and that is assuming there are jobs in her town to get that will work with her schedule as a mom as well.

Dr. Phil is right on and knows his stuff, and I enjoy all of his shows very much. 

In the perfect world, there would be less stress, kinder people and alot more love.

Keep up the great work Dr. Phil....

 
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