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Topic : 08/06 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 5

Number of Replies: 185
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Created on : Friday, February 23, 2007, 02:08:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 06/26/07) Three couples trying to save their marriages continue their work at The Dr. Phil House. Throughout their relationship, Scott and Tara have had violent fights that have included slashed tires and police visits. Dr. Phil sits down with Scott to discuss how he can control his anger problem and set up personal boundaries that will put an end to the fighting with his wife. Afterward, Scott feels confident enough to vow to Tara that he is never going to yell at her again. Will he stick by his declaration? Then, Dr. Phil puts the group through some intense exercises, so they can learn their partner’s point of view. As each person stands before the group and explains what he or she really wants, raw emotions pour out, and the couples find themselves growing closer with compassionate support. Plus, Dr. Phil teaches them his rules for fighting (link to /articles/article/20 ) and his rules for children. After seeing a videotape of all their kids, the message is loud and clear. Will the couples apply what they’ve learned and change their families forever? Share your thoughts here.

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August 7, 2007, 4:30 am CDT

It was the same with my late mother.

Quote From: skipzeedoodle

Let me tell you about us women making ourselves victims by choice! If you haven't lived it,  you know nothing about it.  If you have never been a victim, you do not know what it's like.  i personally recent someone telling me I choose to be a "victim".  Let me tell you how a victim lives.  First, we have no life.  We're told what to think, when to think and what to think about.  We get no respect, no compassion and no consideration.  Trust me, after 35 years of marriage, I consider myself an expert "victim"!  I have no friends, no contact with "people".  I do get to bowl once a week in the winter.  I have not been shopping with a woman friend or by myself for years.  I am told what to do everyday.  Get out you say????  Yea, right!  I tried that a couple of times.  I was succered into coming back.

I realized a couple of years ago, this life style started when I was a little girl.  It's exactly how my mother treated me when I was growing up.  No friends, couldn't do anything, couldn't go anywhere, etc, etc, etc.

So unless you actually walked and lived in our shoes, try not to judge us "women" victims.  By the grace of God, we DO not choose to be victims! 

I understand what your saying. And, even though things are pretty rough with you, it was worse for my mother. And, with her, it originally started out when she was growing up, with her mother. She came from a very poor family, where the father was not always present. My grandmother married a man 19 years older than her in 1915. She raised 8 children pretty much on her own. My mother was not able to stand up for herself back then and my grandmother knew it. She was able to have a lot more control over my mother than the others,because my mother just simply had that kind of personality. So, when she married my father, she was used to being told what to do. (She was 27 years old when she got married.) My father was like a lot of men of that generation, he was in charge of his wife. I think my mother thought it was supposed to be that way. (Things like telling her what she was allowed to wear, not wanting her to have any friends, not wanting her to have contact with her family,etc..) To make it worse, my father was also an alchoholic. As the years went by, my mother came to accept her life the way it was. I, on the other hand, never accepted it. After I grew up, for years I tried to talk my mother into leaving. It took me a long time (even as an adult ) to realize that she would never leave. In some strange twisted way, my parents actually cared about one another. I will never understand thier relationship. (They both died last year.) Now, having said all this, I have to conclude that my mother DID, ultimately, choose to stay. There were even times when she was relatively happy. She married my father in the first place knowing he had a drinking problem.(He told her he would quit once they got married. She actually believed that he would.) I DO understand that after they had 5 children, it would have been very difficult for her to have gotten out on her own. But, after we were all grown, we would have helped her if she would have chosen to get out. She chose to stay. Some people are just stronger than others. I have been very fortunate to have found a good man. Because of my childhood, I really don't think I could have accepted anything less.
 
August 7, 2007, 11:57 am CDT

By the way, you're judging US!

Quote From: prstone76

I have read someof these message boards about how "people" think they are sooo superior to the people on man camp. The truth is that most of the marrriages in the United States are the same if not worse than the situatons represented in man camp. All you people that think that your marriage and your "situation"  is superior and better than someone else's are kidding themselves. Your marriage and your " situation" can always be better  than it is!!!! I am so sick of people putting themselves above everyone else.  Ive yet to meet someone that was completely satisfied with "everything" in their life. Nobody is perfect! Nobody comes into a relationship knowing exactly what will be involved. Hold your judgemental tounge, and listen for a change! All you guys who are "appaulde"  by what is going on on your favorite TV show.  Yea you!!! You need to pay attention to your own lives and try to relate and gather advice from other people and their mistakes instead of judging them. Judging someone is appaulling and you!!! yea you!!! are the ones that need to learn to pay attention. These people are brave enough to go on NATIONAL TELIVISION and admit they have problems to deal with and you guys have the audacity to judge them when you dont have half the determination that they do!!!  If your "situation" was perfect then you would not feel the need to judge someone else.  LOOK at the divorce rate in our country, LOOK at the domestic violence cases!!! These people are trying to get help and all you guys can do is judge them. Let DR. PHIL  help them if he can. Wish them the best. Get OFF your High horse. Yea its good tv. but these are real people, real issues in peoples marriages across the country! Nobody is superior!!!
Simma down now. That is what these messageboards are for. We are giving our opinions , which , in truth, are judgements based on nothing except how we happen to feel at any given moment. And I, for one, expect to, indeed, be perfect by the middle of next week.
 
August 8, 2007, 12:12 pm CDT

Doesn't anyone value marriage anymore??

Give me a break!! These people need to grow up!!! Yes, their attitude seemed a little better the last episode, but how long is that going to last? The couples got along for what, one day? They truly  believe things will be better, and stay better? It takes much effort to change, much more than 1 week with Dr. Phil!  I guarantee they will revert back to their old ways, particularly the men, because they are egotistical, selfish and immature, and want things their way.  They never should have gotten married in the first place, much less have children!  I feel sorry for the children only, they are more mature than the parents! 

 

If you don't love your mate enough to be in a committed relationship, get out!! These people need to start thinking about what they would have without each other, thinking about what they have, and stop being so selfish. 

 
August 11, 2007, 2:44 pm CDT

men

 like my husband says i cheated on him. he says he has proof, but show me. i ask him when,where,how & if i enjoyed it. because he don't alow me to work we have 2 kids, 5 yrs, 2yrs. i have never left them with anyone he says no. and says he doesn't love me anymore now all i have is hate toward him.i told him i want a divorce he says no then he says he'll take the kids from me. i'm sick of him telling me i cheated when i never have. he won't show me the proof. i want a fair trial. because i know i can prove him wrong.

 

                                                                                               p.s. someone please tell me what  

                                                                                                     i should do i need help

                                                                                                          i don't want to be with someone who

                                                                                                      doesn't love me. 

 
August 11, 2007, 7:04 pm CDT

Exotic Dancing

Sadly I missed the show where everyone was blasting the exotic dancer -  was her name Amanda - and judging her and Dr. Phil said that if she wanted her marriage to work, she had to quit her job.  I don't get it.  Why does she have to quit stripping to save her marriage?  Seriously, I don't get how it has to be damaging to her marriage, unless her husband has unchangeable negative feelings about what she does.  Can someone enlighten me?
 
August 12, 2007, 5:32 am CDT

Biggest problem?

Quote From: softcore

Sadly I missed the show where everyone was blasting the exotic dancer -  was her name Amanda - and judging her and Dr. Phil said that if she wanted her marriage to work, she had to quit her job.  I don't get it.  Why does she have to quit stripping to save her marriage?  Seriously, I don't get how it has to be damaging to her marriage, unless her husband has unchangeable negative feelings about what she does.  Can someone enlighten me?
She had an affair with one of the patrons of the club where she worked.
 
August 13, 2007, 5:51 pm CDT

Mancamp synergism!

Caught the final episode of ManCamp-1 at DR PHIL HOUSE this morning: OMG! that was sooo rich!!  Found I was bawling my eyes out at the end!  I was deeply touched. Congratulations and thanks to the 3 couples [  ] who were so generous and shared their lives with us.  Through their most-personal and secret private pains, their bravery and persistence to keep on dealing with their challenging worlds was an inspiration to me;  I esteem each participant highly!     The demonstrated hard work, and team work put-forth,  reveal the mettle of winners. These people are the calibre of persons who will indeed reap the rewards of healed lives, loves, children, and family relationships. Thankyou to Dr Phil for introducing these extraordinary people to us. YOU ARE INSPIRATION!   One of my deepest take-aways from watching these couples was the "love"-- I'd been married "twice" in my lifetime: <humorously> "the First time, and the Last."  I'm 52 yrs old, and I won't date -- don't want to chance falling in love and being devastated and hurt like that ever again. Even though I still seem to get offers, I say that it's been 11 years since my last divorce: and that's still not long enough!!   ...The love-factor shown -- (for me, especially in John's voice when he declared his love for his wife Terra) -- even after all that tearing, it was still down there in his heart and soul, like the little fairy of hope in Pandora's Box. My Prayer is that you'll always find that hope and love alive... Again, congratulations to the couples.
 
August 14, 2007, 7:33 am CDT

man camp women

One of the episodes of man camp aired in Australia today. In it the women turn on the stripper lady. I was  alarmed at the way thewomen behaved like chickens. Being one I can say that. When one was down the others went for the eyes. It's very sad. I think they are feeling threatened  and are lashing out to protect themselves.

 

One thing about Dr. Phil really grates on me every time I hear it. It's when he tells men that they are the leader of their family. My God, my Great Grandmother battled as a suffragette (spelling?), my Mother battered her head against a glass ceiling in business.  Perhaps it's a cultural thing, maybe in America is seen as ok to have that attitude, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that Australian women are offended by that, Otherwise Phil's ok, it's just that one sexist thing. It is sexist, because both parents are the leaders jointly.

 
August 14, 2007, 6:49 pm CDT

08/06 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 5

Quote From: housewife52

She had an affair with one of the patrons of the club where she worked.
Is that the only reason?  You could have an affair with anyone in any place of work.  I thought perhaps it was the nature of her work that Dr. Phil objected to ......
 
August 16, 2007, 8:09 am CDT

Actually...

Quote From: softcore

Is that the only reason?  You could have an affair with anyone in any place of work.  I thought perhaps it was the nature of her work that Dr. Phil objected to ......
I DO think it was the nature of her work that DrP objected to. From watching the show and DrP's remarks about stripping and the clientele of strips joints, I don't think he holds the art of stripping in high esteem. An aside, Amanda says she was not a stripper(clothes off) that she was an exotic danceer.
 
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