Topic : 07/25 "What Would You Do?"

It has been over two weeks now and I'm still thinking about this episode of the show - the arguing young couple.  I have seen the same thing done on another prime time show a year ago with the same results.  Honestly, I wouldn't get involved.  I may call 911.  I live in the Denver area and we just had one of our NFL Bronco players murdered.  It has been said that just a few words were exchanged in a night club before his party left for the evening, in his Limo.  Shots rang out and that was his ending.  You just never know what will trigger a person.  I would never put myself in that position and I have raised my daughters to stay uninvolved as well.  There are a lot of people with mental illnesses on the streets who are not in control of their mental faculties and you just never know.  Yes - I can say that.

 

I think Dr. Phil could perhaps some time in the future clarify how or when to help strangers in a safe way.  It is very contradictory as to what we teach our children isn't it?  To stay away from strangers.  Yet as adults, we are to get into their personal space?  In New York???? 

I use to think these shows gave the public a bit of common straight talk.  It has become a show place about like a side-show.  It has given businesses that stick it to the general public and their employees a free photo-op day in the sun.  What's 10 to 50 thou of PR money really doing to help the human race? 

Sites like this are numerous. Because of my cyberstalking experience I have done hours and hours of research.  There are quite a few websites out there with the sole purpose of getting revenge.  Some are blatant about it, specifically the site on the show and some are under the rouse that they are "preventing others from dating someone of questionable morality".  The problem is that it really is about getting revenge.  The problem is that all of these sites give cyberstalkers tools to harrass and stalk, embarrass and lie.  Cyberstalking which can include both on and offline events.  It is extremely frightening.  Most cyberstalkers think it is funny, and boast about their crimes. Fortunately, there is a new e-annoyance law (created to make online harrassment a felony and prevent offline violence). This law is about to be tested as cases that I am aware of are being prepared and prosecuted.  Please take cyberstalking seriously, this is commonly thought of as cyberbullying when it comes to teens. 

I think some people really come to the show to get help. I truly believe that some people just want thier 15 minutes of fame. I doubt that the bagel thief thinks that what she's doing is that bad. I'd say the lady with the website is looking to get more hits on her site. I doubt that the DrP show pays them cash. Sometimes maybe people go on the show with the idea that they might actually help someone who is watching. I'd say that sometimes people may actually regret that they decided to go on in the first place. I, myself ,am content to watch from my living room. I'd never have the courage to do something like that. I'd probably drop dead of fear right there on the stage. Besides, let's face it, I'm so perfect that what would I go on the show for in the first place? (Tongue in cheek as I type)

Try changing the parameters of the 'Social experiment". Make the arguing couple a woman yelling at a man, try having her hit him. No one will step up. Try having him hit her back, then you will get a response. Try telling to police you were defending yourself from her. That would be a real eye opener.

Duh!

I paid a clerk at a grocery store with a 10 dollar bill.  She gave me back $35.00, when I said you gave me too much money.  She got a smart look, & says " I never make mistakes!"  I tried to tell her she had made a mistake.  But she was so sure she hadn't, that I walked out with $35.00, when I should have had only $8.00.  Boy did I feel guilty.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a psychological disorder characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior.  This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. 

 

While less known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2% of adults (1-33), mostly females.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

 

 

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

 

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen OR The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen

 

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother:  Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson 

 

Stop Walking on Eggshells:  Taking Your Life Back...by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger OR Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman

 

Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood OR Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 

 

 

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical and sexual abuse have signposts to mark their presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Just as physical and sexual abuse come in degrees of severity, emotional abuse runs the gamut of intensity and damage.  

 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

Don't get me wrong here.  I am not your "What do you think your'e doing?" person but I have in the past  and present spoken up when something needs to be said.  Shoplifter?  I have questioned what someone is doing, i.e., a little boy in WalMart taking a bra for his mother to try on?  Oh, come now.  I told him I'd like to meet his mom because it must be really embarassing for him to "pick out a bra for mom".  He dropped the bra, took off and I couldn't find him or his "mom".  I went to the store office and reported him giving a description,  what he was trying to take, etc.  They found him in "Shoes".  He had a bra - not the same one, sandals, a DVD,  and a CD under his jacket.  Older person?  I find an employee and let them know what I've observed.  Would I stop a shop lifter in the future?  Yes.  I would not confront them face to face unless there was absolutely no other choice.  I pay for that stuff that gets stolen in higher prices. 

 

Someone abusing a spouse, significant other, child?  You bet - in a heart beat.  I would prefer not to confront them face to face but would gather all the information I could and report it to authorities.  Yes, I have called the police on several occasions where things just weren't "right."  Was I right or wrong?  I was right each time. 

 

Suspicious person in the neighborhood?  I don't call 911, I call the "non-emergency number and report what I've observed.  Last time?  Two young heifers were grazing in our neighbor's back yard.  The problem - they didn't have any heifers.  The heifers had jumped the fence about 4 "blocks" from us and were having a grand time running around the neighborhood.  Were they caught?  We don't know.  The owner showed up with halters and leads and tried to approach the heifers.  The heifers took off, jumping over the police cruiser. 

 

Since I am an at-home person, I do keep an eye for the unusual in our neighborhood not because I'm nosy.  I just want our neighborhood to be safe. 

 

Other things?  I'm never sure what I'll do but, if the occasion arises, I will take some sort of action.  If we don't, we are not doing our duty to our fellow man.  'nough said.  Of course, I may be just getting grumpy in my old age!

Ithink that people react to different things in different ways.  Its doesn't mean that it's right or wrong.  The way other people take the reactions are what inturperts if it's right or wrong.  My girlfriend is African-American and me and her joke all the time with each other,but if someone else says anything to her that i say or the other way around we get upset.  Without thinking that maybe that person heard us joking and just wanted to put their two cents in.  I think that when it comes to people everyone is different and everyone is raised different.  So the concept of right and wrong is fuzzy all the time except for things like murder,rape, and all of the other really bad things that the laws people agreed on state whats right and wrong.  I think that right and wrong are so fuzzy and all ways will be.  Mostly because of different ways that parents teach and the ways that their kids pick up on their own.  Every body would like to think that they are always right. Maybe it's just pride.  I don't know, but pride won't get you anywhere in the fuzzy scence!