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Topic : 06/28 Silent Darkness

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Created on : Friday, February 23, 2007, 02:11:45 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/28/07) Most parents find raising a child overwhelming enough, but imagine if your child could neither see you, nor hear you. Now imagine having that child times three. Liz is the mother of deaf and blind triplets. Her three daughters are now 6 years old, but one of the girls communicates at a 2-year-old level, and the other two at only a 10-month-old level. Liz's world is consumed with their 24-hour care, plus the care of her oldest daughter, who is 10 and often overlooked among the chaos of the triplets. After years of dealing with the girls on her own, a new man stepped into Liz's life to fill the shoes of her ex-husband. George thought he could become Liz's hero, but their relationship has been strained from the start, and the stress is tearing them apart. See what a day in Liz and George's lives is like, and the surprises Dr. Phil has in store for them. Plus, meet an inspirational woman who says her world turned from light to dark at the age of 15. She has a message for George and Liz. Join the discussion.

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February 24, 2007, 5:44 pm CST

the triplets

The story of the deafblind triplets looks amazing.  I am going to watch this one! 

Any man who would marry a woman with three disabled kids deserves an honor.  I don't think I can judge a man who has no peer.  If these are truly the only deafblind triplets in the world, no other person knows what this man or this family deals with on a daily basis. 

I have two kids who are healthy and have a difficult time finding men willing to take on that responsibility.  Imagine what kind of love and dedication it would require to take on this kind of burden.  This man deserves some compassion and sympathy instead of harsh judgement.  Just my opinion.
 
February 25, 2007, 9:43 am CST

02/28 Silent Darkness

Quote From: smilesallday

The story of the deafblind triplets looks amazing.  I am going to watch this one! 

Any man who would marry a woman with three disabled kids deserves an honor.  I don't think I can judge a man who has no peer.  If these are truly the only deafblind triplets in the world, no other person knows what this man or this family deals with on a daily basis. 

I have two kids who are healthy and have a difficult time finding men willing to take on that responsibility.  Imagine what kind of love and dedication it would require to take on this kind of burden.  This man deserves some compassion and sympathy instead of harsh judgement.  Just my opinion.
I totally agree.  He must be a special person.  It sounds like he gets stressed out like the rest of us.  Just like the rest of the family.
 
February 25, 2007, 9:49 am CST

02/28 Silent Darkness

Quote From: cskiles

From what I have read I am not sure if these children have other problems or are only deaf/blind.  I work with a young man who is deaf/blind and is 14.  This morning he just wrestled in his first ever wrestling match in our middle school program, he won.  He would be a great inspiration for this mother as he leaves everyone he meets a better person.    He is smart and clever in spite of  his challenges.  He is supported by a wonderful father, sisters, grandpa, and an angel of a grandma who works very hard to help him succeed.  This young man is who he is because of his blind/deafness and he is a wonderful person who makes us all better people just to have known him.  Good luck to this mom and remember to find people who have experienced this for your support and encouragement. Cindy

Sounds like this teen you know had a LOT of support.  And there was only one of him.  We haven't seen the show yet so I don't know what support they have.  But times what that teen has by three.  I would imagine that those girls have the same potential as he does.  It just needs to be explored and encouraged.  Good luck to them and I have faith that it will come in time.  And I in no way mean to dicount the accomplishments of the teen you know.  I am sure he is remarkable and a shining example of the human spirit.
 
February 25, 2007, 9:51 am CST

I'd be worried about this new man.

Unless he is an angel, why would a man want to get involved with a woman who has young "daughters" that cannot communicate. I'd be very weary about this man, Sorry I have to feel like this. My prayers are with this mother and her children
 
February 25, 2007, 9:55 am CST

02/28 Silent Darkness

Quote From: plumm72

My heart goes out to this family.. I can imagine what this mother is going through.. I have a mentally handicapped daughter and a son that has been really sick.. My son is in remission from cancer. (Rhabdomyosarcoma) Now we are going back and forth to doctors for other problems he is experienceing.It seems like we are always having to be in the hospital or at a  doctors office..It sometimes gets rough. As far as MEN go.. i know my husband has been great. but when times get rough and things are not going just the way he thought. they should.. he put this distance between us. i felt like he didnt want to be with us he was turning his back on us. but i know with out a doubt he loves us.. just has a different way of dealing with things.. Did not make it any easier on me and the kids...I think men have a harder time dealing with responsability esaecially when it comes to something they have no control of. I totally understand . MY prayers are with you and your family. When you feel that times are hard remmeber God will not give you nothing he doesn't think you can handle.. I know that seems hard to understand.. Because it is still hard for me to understand it.. but I feel that we ( YOU and ME) are special.......Because God chose us to take care of these very special angels.and i would not trade them for anything in this world..they are my world. I will pray for your family that you will all be ok.. Goof luck anf Know God is on your side.

 

I think this is one of the most understanding and compassionate posts about this family.  I think everyone should look at this and take it to heart.  Unless you are those parents, we don't have any idea.
 
February 25, 2007, 9:57 am CST

02/28 Silent Darkness

Quote From: penny_lady

This is just one of the more heart breaking situations I could imagine. I think sometimes people for get that parents aren't godly...they are just human beings who also have limits.
Exactly.  They are human.  How would we measure up to them if it were us?
 
February 25, 2007, 11:48 am CST

02/28 Silent Darkness

I also want to say that I really hope that Dr Phil extends his help to this woman, financially and professionally.

I have one little girl and she's perfectly healthy, bright and well behaved....and even I need a break now and then.

Like another poster mentioned, not anyone can babysit these amazing little girls. They need specialized professional care. And this amazing mother needs some time occasionally to recharge, take a deep breath and enjoy some peace.

I really hope that, of all the people I have seen on his show, this woman gets the benefit of some kind of financial help. This is a unique situation in every way imaginable...as humans we all need to do what we can to reach out to people in this situation.  If I could help her I would.
 
February 25, 2007, 3:28 pm CST

Please Help Her

 

  I read the story and I felt sad and concern for the mother... I am also I feel she is a wonderful mother but needs some Help..... The oldest daughter needs a break for her and her mother to do something if it just twice a month without the other kids. Doctor and church people and professional need to help her out, Where she can have if it just a few hours a week , Some time for her..... As far as the man.. He need to get on the pot or get off the pot.. He knew when he got into to this relationship it was a package deal... He don't need to hold it over her head that he is there. 1) that is not love 2) she has enough to deal with. Well, Doctor Phil And Robin , I pray about it tonight and I hope that you can finds the means and the people to help her out.......... She is a wonderful mother I can see that.....But she needs help and support.......

  I have a 19 year old special needs child that sometimes drives my patients thin But, I feel the Lord gave him for a reason, and I could image my life without him... But, I had family and friends....

                  

 
February 26, 2007, 5:03 am CST

How about the Three Girls?

       I'm going to be very curious to know how this story unfolds. There are several ways to commnicate and I'm curious of the communication system the mother uses. When I attended the deaf-blind conference back in 1996 in Tulsa, Oklahoma, I was totally blown away at the variety of ways communication happens between a deaf-blind person. I attended because I was legally blind and hard-of-hearing. I was loosing my sight, not knowing if I would ever gain my sight again and having been around disabled folks and even people who were  deaf-blind, this conference totally blew me away. So either this mother hasn't done her homework in trying to learn how to commnicate with her girls, or these deaf-blind girls have other disabilities. I can't believe that they are communicating that low of a level, unless something else is going on.

 

      I also want to know will these girls ever get a chance of a Cochlear Implant? I realize surgery is expensive, but pound the pavement and get every darn media coverage you can!!! The later this surgery is done, the language opportunity lessens.

 

      I also wondered if this mother was a victim of uninformed doctors? When my mother took me to the Jules Stien Eye Institute at UCLA when I was about 2 or 3, I REMEMBER that horrible experience where the doctor said that I would never be a productive citizen, I would never drive, and I am probably mildly retarded. I still remember vividly being in my mother's arms and how stoic and unavailable emotionally she was. However, the doctor was VERY wrong on ALL accounts. You would think because this happened in the late 60's this doesn't happen anymore, but I've been around some ignorant doctors!!!! I hope this mother gets a good support system with the triplet organizations and deaf-blind organizations as well.

 

           I'm so glad that Dr. Phil will give this mother and her significant other a chance to work through their issues to be there for these girls. Don't kid yourself that because they are deaf-blind that they don't feel the tension and the frustration of their mother. I've been there, done that and felt it at such a young age. I can't imagine how FRUSTRATED these three girls are that they can't commnicate with their mother. Hopefully they will get the tools of communication they need and get more language development. Remember the Helen Keller story, how she wasn't able to througly communicate to her family until later.

 

           Also, the comment about the significant other KNEW before hand? HA! Yeah, I get that all the time, I tell people I have a hearing and vision impairment and they think ok! They don't know the challenges of communicating with me and working with me until after the fact. He had no idea what he was getting into and I still commend him for trying. I can't tell you how many people in this society turn away from me or treat me like I'm substandard right off. There are many people who have issues and I really DO COMMEND this man for taking the bll by the horns and I hope with new skills and tools he can learn how to work through this! YOU GO MAN!

 

             I don't like commenting before I see a show, but as you can tell this show will be one that will hit home for me. Thank you Dr. Phil and Dr. Phil staff for considering doing this story.

 
February 26, 2007, 6:38 am CST

Caregiver strain

I really feel for the mother.  My brothers were born with multiple birth defects (although nothing like the triplets) and my parents had a massive strain in their relationship.  These kids require so much attention, I'm suprised the poor woman can work a full time job and take care of them!

The family dynamics are so focused on the children that the parents don't even exist as people. 

 

God help her when they get into grade school- teachers usually aren't very supportive or tolerant of special needs children (at least with our experience), making normalcy very difficult to acheive.  I hope she has someone in her life for support, her parents, friends, a church that can help with baby care.  That has to be tough- God bless that family!

 
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