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Topic : 03/09 Dominating Spouses

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Created on : Friday, March 02, 2007, 12:04:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil’s guests are tired of being bullied and bossed around by their spouses. They say they are treated like personal assistants, and their lives have become an emotional roller coaster because of their partners' domineering ways. Jodi wants to confront her husband, Frank, who admits he’s a chauvinist. Frank says a woman’s role is to serve the husband, but Jodi says, “Not after today!” After 14 years of being at his beck and call, will Jodi be able to stand up to her husband and demand respect? Then, Ahnika wants her brother-in-law to get a backbone and finally stand up to her controlling sister! She says Sarissa walks all over her husband, Jason, and if she doesn’t change her domineering ways, he’s going to wise up and leave her. Sarissa says she’s forced to take control because her husband doesn’t know how to wear the pants in the family, but Jason says it’s easier to shut down than it is to fight. Can this couple find balance in their family roles? Tell us what you think!

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March 2, 2007, 5:44 pm CST

03/09 Dominating Spouses

I am a wife and  mother and I expect to be treated with love, respect and dignity for I deserve it and any man (or woman) who mistreats their spouses do not deserve to be married. It's nice to have a husband come home to me and tell me that he loves and appreciates me for the things I do for the home and the family. I guarentee that if he came home just to degrade and manipulate me, I would not be the happy, loving and kind person that I am, I would have absolutely no desire to be a good wife to my husabnd and I certainly would not want to live with him. Love and honor is a part of marriage and those people who can't handle that, needs to get a grp on what true love and respect is.

Wives were not put on this earth to be slaves and mistreated and used and manipulated and husabnds were not put on this earth to be slave masters, Marriage is about TWO people being there for one another, loving, caring, sharing a life, and being on the same team, supporting one another by encouraging and helping one another in this life journey. I thank God for the wonderful husband that I have, he is my rock and encourager, and I am here for him as well. Man, We may make our share of mistakes, but it aint nothing like these people casue my husabnd and I love and respect each other, that's what it's about and if a coupl. spouse can't do this tehn really,t hey shouldn't be married.
 
March 3, 2007, 12:28 pm CST

03/09 Dominating Spouses

This might be the only interesting topic this week, Anna Nicole and Brittany, more stage parents and I think Wednsday might be a repeat. Blahh, and why exactly is there a weight loss challenge going on on Monday's board ? Okay enough ranting.

I think we sometimes forget that there are men being victimized by their wives, but many of them would rather resist conflict, than risk being called a wimp, or people saying they're "whipped".  We still have a very sexist attitude toward men and how they are supposed to act in family situations, "wearing the pants " so to speak, to most men being viewed as a victim, is more humiliating to them and their peers, than it is to just sit back and take it.  Men and women both will laugh at the idea of men being abused, that has to stop.

To me, in a marriage or any relationship, there shouldn't be one in "charge", or control.  Ideally (yeah, and who lives in the Ideal world) both partners should be working as a team toward common goals, using their individual strengths eg.  One partner might be better at saving money, and paying bills so without hiding any of it from the other, maybe that partner should take care of finances while the other may be better at bargain hunting at the stores, so that partner does the shopping.

Relations have to be based on love, trust and MUTUAL respect, I personally think if any of the three is missing, there's not much chance.  I see female abusers the same way I see Male abusers, both need therapy and in some cases jail time.

Though the blurb didn't say anyhing about abuse happening, sounds like he's as beaten down as any woman that finds herself with a domineering partner.

 
March 3, 2007, 4:03 pm CST

BOSSY SPOUSE'S

I believe that Frank needs a 'little taste' of the Man Camp at home!  GOD created woman to be a help mate for him - NOT TO BE A DOMESTICATED SLAVE!!!  Frank's home environment when he was growing up did not have the appropriate parameters.  People still believe in the GOLDEN RULE - JESUS said:  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".  There are people (male/female alike) in our society today who believe the opposite often due to their home environment as they were growing up.  I have faith that Dr. Phil will set Frank's mind-set on the right track.  All the BEST to you and yours Dr. Phil!!

 
March 4, 2007, 7:09 am CST

Not has easy as you think

 

Currently in this situation. Divorce is in my future. Cannot wait for this show.

 

 

 
March 4, 2007, 8:20 am CST

Been there done that

I was in this same situation  and dumb enough to stay for 33 years, because as HE said I was dumb, stupid, couldn't get a job to support our children and myself. I proved him wrong and now I have a wonderful husband who thinks I am wonderful. We women do not need to put up with that kind of behavior.
 
March 4, 2007, 9:28 am CST

Dominating Spouses

Well, it finally happened.  After 3 years of controlling my daughter's every thought and move, my son in law finally showed the physical side of himself.  He pushed  my daughter and then pulled back his arm with a fist at the end ready to punch her. He was tackled by 2 other family members and beat up pretty badly.  My daughter, so under his control, tried to defend him.  We so hoped that she would have the mental clarity needed to leave such a man, but he convinced her to stay with his profession of love, and remorse, his promise to get counseling, etc..  She believes him, rather than all her family and friends.  How hard it is to see this beautiful young woman, such a great mother, hard worker, succumb to this person. 

We worry about her safety, we worry about our granddaughter.  Will he lash out at her again if she tries to stand up to him?

What to do, what to say?  We don't believe anything he says, and we don't believe anything she says.  We tip toe around the subject, and she puts on her best actress facade.  We are all afraid to say something to her, for fear it will only drive her farther away, and closer to him.

To all those women out there that think they need to settle for less than what they are worth I say to you, "Stand up, Stand up, Speak Up, Speak Up, the only man you will chase away is your EX husband!!"  Do not become a "jelly woman" for love. 

 

 
March 4, 2007, 10:23 am CST

03/09 Dominating Spouses

i cant for the life of me under stand how it becomes to enter so many peoples mind that when they get married they look upon the one they married as the same way one looks upon a new car purchase, and cant understand why thear spouses want out,its the same when the new car breaks down from a lack of up keep or from not changing the oil,so to people such as i mention i would say to tune up your marriage every 6 months it may keep it from breaking down like your new car will do if you dont keep it tuned up!!!
 
March 4, 2007, 12:27 pm CST

03/09 Dominating Spouses

If the person you are married  to dominating you! Then he or she really does not love you in the first place!  Thats when you find someone better!  They need Jesus in there lifes!!
 
March 4, 2007, 2:36 pm CST

Dominating Spouses

 My husband and I are raising our granddaughter and our daughter has yet again gotten into a very controlling abusinve relationship.  Now she is pregnant.   Her boyfriend has isolated her from her family and friends.   She doesn't believe he will turn physical with her because "He loves her."  She is mad at us for not letting him be apart of our family.  Our grandaughter was molested and exposed to crystal meth in the last relationship she had with our granddaughter's father.  My husband and I are so frustrated. angry, and sad that things have turned out this way for our daughter and now our adopted granddaughter/daughter.  Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

Towangel

 
March 4, 2007, 2:38 pm CST

Rethinking my life!

I too used to think my husband didn't know "how to wear the pants in the family", but I was definitely wrong!  In a relationship sometimes there is one mate more aggressive than the other but taking it to the point of dominating the other is really sad.  After a six month separation AND him deciding to go over the road driving a truck to make a living, I finally realized what I was doing wrong.  It is a lot easier now for me to sit back, take a chill pill and watch my husband be the dominating one because it gives me pleasure to see how me making an active change has made our life better.  I chose to be dominating and now I choose not to be.  It's a lot easier now than it was before and happier. 
 
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