Topic : 03/09 Dominating Spouses

You have obviously never been in a relationship of this nature.

 A lot of times, a woman is not given the choice of being "very demure and/or afraid & gives control to the other spouse".

This is a role they have pushed upon them, often before they even realise what is happening. Women often do not realise what a domineering spouse is doing to them until it gets to a critical situation. Men who perpetuate this kind of abuse are very conniving and manipulative. They target women who have little or no self esteem, whether because of their past, or other emotional issues.

I know, because i was 16 when targeted by this kind of predator. He was the first person i ever opened up to about my family history and i still feel to this day that he exploited those issues in order to try and control me. He was only a year older than me, but vastly more experienced socially and sexually. He used my past and present fears to control me, and ultimately, tried to kill me.

It was a very difficult time for me, but please - if you are in a similar situation, get out of it now! any way you can.

I haven't seen the show but I did read the blurbs on this site.  I find it interesting that the woman being controlled said she knew he was like that from the beginning.  Is she knew that, why did she marry him?  Can love really be that blind?  My husband laughed when he read some of the conversation.  He said he knew better than to try bossing me around.  I always told him I would walk beside him but never behind him.  And we are both Christians.

The second couple is really messed up.  She is truly a controlling witch.  I can't believe how often she corrected or interrupted Dr. Phil.  And nag, nag, nag.  Shakespeare would call her a shrew and that is a good description.  Her husband should get a backbone and just tell her to shut up and listen.  I know he is silent in self-defense but that only goes so far.  It would be interesting to see what happens after her "planned" therapy.  I think she will be this way for a long time - therapy or not. 

I am always amazed that people stay together because of the children.  In many cases, the children would be better off if the parents divorced and they were not subjected to all the fighting and name calling between their unhappy parents.

Dear lady,

I hope you and the children take care of yourselves and please remain strong. Are you seeing a counsellor?  I really think it would be to your advantage if you did. But i don't know what your husband would say about it, but then it's really up to you. Maybe he would go too if you would ask him to, or maybe you just want to get out of the marriage as you seem to have had enough. I watched my poor sister suffer at the hands of her bullying husband and it's broken my heart forever because she has accepted that its her lot in life. I would  hate to see you end up the way she has. I'm sorry to say but i won't miss him when he's gone.

Feel free to email or write to me if you want,

Sincerely and with love, Lory

Dear lady,

I feel so sorry for you, how my heart and love go out to you. I am glad at least you have your doctor that you can tell your problems to. He really must have been horrible to you to have broken your spirit, and think yourself as worthless. You must find it very hard with being ill plus suffering from depression on top of it, to handle your situation. Please dont feel sorry about his bad heart, he doesnt have any form of compassion or kindness towards you. You must look after yourself now, especially since you are not well.  You didn't mention anything about children so i presume you dont have any. Well, thats one blessing anyway,  Please feel free to contact me if you wish.

Love,

Lory(maria3255)

Dear Debra,

So glad to hear that you came out of your relationships positively. It's nice to be treated with respect isn't it?  My 2nd marriage has been great for me as well, as my spouse always looks after me and gives me breakfast every morning in bed. That had never happened to me before. My 1st marriage lasted 22 years and not once did my ex-husband ever make me a cup of coffee. So i know how nice and peaceful it is to have a caring and  loving husband by your side. 

Love,

Lory (Australia)    

Jodi stated: "My husband, Frank, has been a dominating spouse since the day I met him.”

Then why in the hell did you marry him??

It's difficult to have any empathy for someone when they have HUGE bright flashing warning signs right in front of their face, but choose to blindly ignore them . If she knew he was dominating from the day she met him as she stated, then why in the world would she marry someone like that?

I don't get it.

I definitely think that this "so called husband" needs a reality check and a real deep spiritual check as well. Yes in the bible it says that the man is the head of the household. However, husbands MUST love their wives like Christ loved the church. It does not say, Husbands, treat your wives like complete crap, take advantage of them, make them kiss your end all the time and you don't have to do anything to help her out.

I for one have always believed and will continue to believe that spouses are EQUAL PARTNERS IN A MARRIAGE!  MARRIAGE IS ABOUT TWO PEOPLE, A TEAM! THERE IS NO "I" IN THE WORD TEAMWORK!

This guy needs some serious counseling and therapy as well!

He needs to learn to appreciate his wife for who she is! She should try reverse psychology on him and see how he likes being treated like a dominating PIG!