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Topic : 03/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 6

Number of Replies: 108
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Created on : Friday, March 09, 2007, 12:37:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Four months have passed since Scott and Tara, John and Cherie, and Nic and Amanda moved out of The Dr. Phil House, armed with tools to save their crumbling marriages. One couple has curbed their fighting but now reveals an issue that the wife says is tearing them apart. Why did they keep it a secret from Dr. Phil? Then, a couple learning to work together sees the changes in their children but still struggles with issues from the past. Plus, a reinvigorated pair say they’re best friends again and falling back in love. Which marriages are thriving, and which one is hanging on by a thread? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 13, 2007, 12:21 pm CDT

You may have a point.

Quote From: niabarr

Tara  hasn't stopped blaming Scott for everything. She doesn't work on her own issues, she continues to behave the same way as she has all along and when the marriage doesn't work, she finds yet another thing wrong with Scott . She hasn't learned to look at her own behavior and how she's contributing to the disfunction.

It's an old habit to break, even when both really want to do better & save the marriage.

 

She has just things to be disappointed by & there are (apparently) some very big issues for him to address. But it is discouraging to do so, no matter how needed the changes are, when the other spouse has a hard time seeing the good or even recognizing it at all. And of course, some just have had too much happen for too long & that's when it's too late.

 
March 13, 2007, 12:47 pm CDT

Another take...

Quote From: our4sons

I for the life of me cannot understand justifying being so angry about someone not liking your food or cooking. Especially someone you've never cooked for before & before you even cooked it! I guess being on edge like living there would put you could help you justify taking it so personally but seriously... one's personal food preference is in no way ever a reflection on anyone but the person with that preference, lol!

 

Seriously! Such a petty fight!

 

I would like to think that if I were given such an opportunity to get Dr. Phil's personal aid in my marriage (and boy could we use it!) I wouldn't have wasted one sec on such silliness.

 

I get that some things get edited out for the drama aspect, but I can't see behaving like that in the first place. Makes me wonder just why the show picks who they pick & causes me to question watching the show.

I have a different take on the fight.  I think it was about gratitude that someone would be nice enough to cook for you so you wouldn't have to do it yourself.  To me, I can't understand being so picky that you can't just go with the flow- when in Rome.  It would be different if you were allergic to something, but that wasn't the case here.

 

The whole thing was about control.  When someone else did the cooking, she felt out of control of how it was prepared, and Tara was already feeling out of control and it just escalated.  That's how I saw it.

 

But I agree, it seemed silly to me, but then again, it wasn't about the sauce.  You put too many people in a pressure cooker situation...

 
March 13, 2007, 8:09 pm CDT

03/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 6

Quote From: niabarr

Tara  hasn't stopped blaming Scott for everything. She doesn't work on her own issues, she continues to behave the same way as she has all along and when the marriage doesn't work, she finds yet another thing wrong with Scott . She hasn't learned to look at her own behavior and how she's contributing to the disfunction.
I probably should keep my big trap shut, BUT....  You know think about this?  Do you think you could live with Scott?  Do you think anyone else could live with Scott?  hmmmm...  Like you know how they have that show:  WIFE SWAP?  (HYPOTHETICALLY:  Like say that was the experiment with these couples... just HYPOTHETICALLY... I am not trying to start too much trouble.... BUT, like if Tara had put up with the other guys $%^&*  would she have handled it differently?)  Or if she was treated RIGHT would she be so frustrated and upset?)  Isn't some of her behavior justified?  I think a problem in a marriage or committed relationship is a PARTNER ALWAYS SOMEHOW GETS BLAMED FOR THE OTHER PERSON'S PROBLEM......  It would be interesting to see a hypothetical wife swap show with the quietest, sweetest, subserviant wife... and SEE IF SHE COULD HANDLE SCOTT'S @#$%^&*........ I don't know?..... I think if Tara would be treated right, She would calm down.  I think it is so easy to have opinions until you are the one in the situation then ALL THE RULES CHANGE.  And what someone may judge Tara for after putting up with it for however many years.... The same person who judged her would not be even able to put up with it even one day.
 
March 14, 2007, 4:39 am CDT

Flowers

Quote From: taborl

 You are so welcome and so right.  I look to the heavens each and every night and know that someday we will be together again. 

 

I am so glad that my post touched you.  Nothing makes me happier than to think that something positive is coming from revealing my deep loss and grief.  

 

By the way, did she like the flowers? 

Your message was inspirational.  She didn't like the flowers because I changed my mind and got her a gold necklace instead.  She definitely liked that!  Thank you again.
 
March 14, 2007, 4:51 am CDT

Agreement

Quote From: housewife52

Tara has said that she got pregnant after dating Scott for 2 months. They got married. I assume Scott was drinking then. Well of course Tara was not happy with that situation. I'm glad she will stand up for herself. I just think that after 4 years they have gotten into a vicious circle. He continues drinking and she continues not to like it. The problem is Scott won't admit he's got a drinking problem.He's in denial. Unless he gets help, he will continue drinking and blaming it on something else.(whether Tara is there or not.) She has agreed to work on herself. But, I think she is strong enough to leave if he is not willing to change.
I am in agreement with you regarding Scott.  On the other hand, Dr. Phil told Tara that she never shuts up!  She said she starts when she gets up in the morning and doesn't quit until she goes to bed at night.  No, she doesn't make him drink, but she sure reminds him of where the bar is.  Scott is in denial, but so is Tara.  I know I would not/could not put up with her myself.  So, I think that regardless of what Scott does, she will still be toxic.  She says she will work on herself, but the words are kind of hollow.  I saw no clear admission from her that she doesn't thrive on drama and nag him to no end.  I don't think she believes she has to change.  Unless both change, this is not going to work.
 
March 14, 2007, 5:29 am CDT

03/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 6

Quote From: Pleasance

Oh you board hog, you !   Always were , still are .....ha, ha, ha!

 

Seriously joking...hope you realize. 

 

 a long lost friend from the boards long ago.

 

Its been a while, and then I find you here and there, just to say hello.

 

By the way, shame on that school guidance person....steering your daughter away from her hopes and dreams.....a good student a good person should never be steered inappropriately in that manner.   Where there is a will, there is a way.

 

I could tell you some stories of very successful people, both in their personal, family life, responsible community members and in their careers......that were dished the same menu from a counselor years and years ago.   Shame on the counselor.   To this day those folks still hear and remember what the counselor said......but the laugh is on the counselor.

 

Sad to say, I wonder how many children, students don't get past it....and put themselves down as a result.   I'll leave it there.

 

On another note...."a sight for sore eyes" you dancing around a pole!   Nah.....lol .

 

and besides .....what about the objectification of women?.....and how that leads to the "less than" treatment of women?

 

Another topic for a lengthy discussion another day.

 

Take care.

 

Just wanted to say hello.

 

I wish you the best.  

Yep! Thats me!  The board hog.  HAHA     :)

Im afraid I would make peoples eyes sore watching me dance around a pole!  LOL   It is pretty easy for me to say I would do it considering it would never happen.   Even if I worked out alot and got in real good shape my husband wound never be ok with me dancing.  So of course, I wouldnt do it.   The money is what gets me thinking about it though.  And plus, I dont put any moral judgements on the whole thing.  I do realize money isnt everything but dang!  It sure comes in handy when youre wanting to put three kids through college! 

As far as the objectification of women... well imo, thats not the womens fault!  So many people have logged on dissing Amanda but have remained silent about the establishments that pay so well and the men who frequent them so often.  As long as there are going to be places that pay real good money for dancers/strippers, there will be women who will do it.  If people want that to change, then they ought to go after the establishments, not the women who are trying to make some money to survive, or go through college, or take care of their kids, or whatever.

However, once you start walking down that road(getting rid of the establishments) seems to me youre trampling on peoples personal freedoms.  Imo, thats a FAR bigger issue. 
 
March 14, 2007, 5:45 am CDT

03/12 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 6

i am very glad to see all 3 couples making a strong effort on each others part to try to over come there faults, with Dr Phil's guidance and gods blessings they all will be doing well and find true happiness in each other in no time, thears something about shows like this that make a person such as my self speak out in anger at what i see on the tube with out thinking about what I'm looking at as being real people with real problems, i never stoped to think about the damage and impact my words can have on others recovery, we find it easier to throw rocks at some one who is down and out then to lend a helping hand to that person, i found my self throwing many such rocks in the form of words, these types of rocks are the worst of all to get hit with, for the wound these rocks leave never goes away, words are so very powerful, look what god did with words, he spoke this world and all in this world in to existences, im so very glad only god knows how to use such powerful words.

 
March 14, 2007, 8:12 am CDT

Man Camp 6 - Still Waiting

How come we didn't get to see the show as scheduled on Monday, March 12, 2007?  Did y'all see it that day?  I am really frustrated trying to figure out what actually will be on Dr. Phil.  Checking the schedule just doesn't seem to work all of the time.  I still would like to see the last  episode.  How does this happen?
 
March 14, 2007, 3:12 pm CDT

My ex is a drinker

Quote From: gmretiree

Tara, My husband was a drinker.  I tip-toed around him when he was drinking and the days after.  We couldn't have a decent discussion while he was drinking because he wouldn't remember and we couldn't have a decent discussion the day after because he was hung over and grouchy.  I stayed with him because I didn't want our children to spend every other week-end with him.  What a life that would be.  Since we stayed together I could leave with the kids and give them a life.  Well, I prayed that he would quit drinking and he did -- he had a massive stroke and now doesn't drink, doesn't drive, doesn't work and is dependant on me.  I should have left when I had a chance.  Think about it -- you are young.  Get out while you can -- he isn't going to change.

I scheduling our lives around his drinking.  Would he be drunk when he got home? Did he hit someone with his car?  Do I still have car insurance?

 

I made the local furniture stores happy; he was a sleeping drunk and slept on the couch the last 4 years of our marriage.  One night it got out of hand... he hit someone with the car and was fined $5,000.  He didn't realize he did it, but he was arrested and had to stay in the slammer over night.  I decided enough was enough.  I took out a pension loan and filed for divorce.  He supported our son but I didn't want spousal support.  Whenever he would pick up my son, I'd be at my friends house.  I haven't seen him in over 12 years.  My son and I financially struggled but we were safe, happy and not sitting on stinky couches.

 

Pearl

 

 

 
March 14, 2007, 3:16 pm CDT

too many addictions

Quote From: mstngsal22

I'm new here, but did anyone notice (hard NOT to notice) the three or so references to something ELSE Scott was using besides alcohol?  That bugs me because Dr. Phil sat there and talked seriously about the "drinking problem", and either had agreed not to or chose not to include this mystery substance in the talk, but if there was a substance, shouldn't THAT have been the focus of the talk?  It doesn't seem like Dr. Phil would do that (and I know him so very well, LOL), and was blowing smoke just for the sake of wrapping up the series.  Why did they choose to air the references to the other substance, but then leave it out of the show?  My theory is that Scott refused to appear on today's show if they did reference it, in the same fashion as him stomping out of Man Camp.  If that's it, then nice going, Scott, apparantly you learned so much from the experience.
Its difficult dealing with one addiction, let alone 3.  If Scott gets the help he needs for one of the addictions, quitting the others, hopefully, will fall into place.
 
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