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Topic : 08/08 Weddings Gone Bad

Number of Replies: 203
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Created on : Friday, March 16, 2007, 10:15:51 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/19/07) Drunken fistfights, motorcycle accidents and police helicopters hovering above … not exactly the building blocks of an ideal wedding. Today’s guests say their perfect day was anything but! From nightmare weather to emergency room visits, these weddings went horribly wrong, and the newlyweds say their marriages are suffering because they can’t get past the painful memories. Nicole says she and her husband-to-be, T.J., promised each other to abstain from alcohol prior to their wedding ceremony, but T.J. broke that promise and got so drunk, he could barely recite his vows! Their special day went from bad to worse when T.J. turned violent, and the police were called. T.J. says he’s apologized enough, and it’s time for Nicole to forgive and forget. Then, Paul and Monica say many things went wrong on their wedding day, but the worst was when they rode off on a motorcycle, only to crash as they turned the corner. They’ve been married for five years and say their wedding calamity set off a curse, dooming them forever. What does Dr. Phil think? How can these couples say “I do” to a brighter future? Talk about the show here.

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March 19, 2007, 5:19 am CDT

Wedding Madness !

If i had been Nicole I would have been so embarrassed at having T.J. as a husband that i probably would never excuse his behaviour. The only way i would excuse him is, like Dr.Phil said, that he must understand the gravity of his actions, which were fuelled by all the alcohol that was drunk before and during the wedding . It would be hard for me to personally excuse him, unless he did see the trauma that he caused. I just wonder how other people at the wedding still feel about this particular wedding that they attended? ( Maria3255)
 
March 19, 2007, 5:53 am CDT

Very True, Except...

Quote From: bactphd95

It's only a "curse" if they let it (superstitious nonsense!!). My 2nd wedding was far from "picture perfect" (Mother & niece of Bride had food poisoning [niece upchucked in the church, Mother and aunt of Groom got in a car wreck, delaying the ceremony for an hour, MOB is so wiped out she takes daughter & niece of bride home right after the ceremony & bag the reception).

 

Guess what? We survived!

 

IMO, too much emphasis is put on the BIG DAY, as opposed to the lifetime...

Certainly the lifetime is the most important thing.  I do think that the first couple's wedding sends out alarms the bride should be alert to.  If this guy was so inconsiderate as to get drunk enough at the wedding to not even remember parts of it, she has reason for worry.  It concerns me that she is worried about the wrong things though.  Instead of the wedding itself, she should be concerned about the future based on his behavior at the wedding.  A man who will hit his bride at the wedding, hit his new father in law and his own best man, then swear at the police?  Then he needs Dr. Phil to tell him he has to be sure his wife knows he gets it?  What kind of forecast is this for the future?  I would be concerned she is headed for a life with an abusive drunk.

 

As to wedding problems in general, I think most have something that isn't exactly preplanned.  When I got married at my parents house, their dog barked non-stop all day.  You couldn't hear anything because of the dog.  After trying everything we could think of, we finally drugged the dog!  It worked, the dog is fine and everything else went well.  We can look back at it and laugh about having to give the dog a tranquilizer instead of dwelling on all the noise before that.

 
March 19, 2007, 6:10 am CDT

bad marriages

when i got married someone was somking pot in the bathroom!!!!! the dj threatened to quit and leave and we almost got kicked out of our hall!!! yeah i was madder than hell. but now i look at it as a lifes lesson chalked up!! i have been married now for almost 12 yrs and of course we have had our rough patches but we are still together today because of our love not beacuse of our wedding reception!!!!
 
March 19, 2007, 6:45 am CDT

03/19 Weddings Gone Bad

Quote From: billiejolewis

when i got married someone was somking pot in the bathroom!!!!! the dj threatened to quit and leave and we almost got kicked out of our hall!!! yeah i was madder than hell. but now i look at it as a lifes lesson chalked up!! i have been married now for almost 12 yrs and of course we have had our rough patches but we are still together today because of our love not beacuse of our wedding reception!!!!
Dr. Phil, I think they both need extensive counseling..It is going to take some time to rebuilt this marriage..I think if they really love each other and want to stay together, they need to consider this to help pull their marriage back together and be able to move on..Good luck...Dr. Phil I watch your show all the time..I record them..And I love your show..I will be watching this one also..I also read Robin's book..It was excellant..I loved it..I need to e-mail her..I got alot out of her book..Thank you..Charlotte
 
March 19, 2007, 7:01 am CDT

Bad marraiges

Dr. Phil,

I really DON'T UNDERSTAND these kind of weddings and such behavior? I'm going to tell you about a marriage, and whom ever else is going to read this.

I have been married now for 30 years, big deal right? well if you consider this I think we are way above the norm. I was 17, my wife 16 in 1977, back then I was a logger, we saved $1000.00 and that was for everything, before and after the wedding. The fault in this story is not fighting and cops and other issues that you have on your show, ours was only one thing and that was my fault, 'I forgot to place us for going on a honeymoon somewhere' We drove after the wedding all night and never found a motel or anything that had room, we did however find a place to sleep at 4:00am, but that's a BIG story that would be on your show alone, anyways I'm saying we have had a marriage that lasted 30 years now, 3 daughters, and 5 grandson's and all started at 16 and 17 years of age, and these people are much older I would think, and a heck of allot more money set aside, so what is the problems besides them not really wanting to be married in the first place, I think they just want the cake.

I would love to sit and really talk to people like this and tell them how we love each other and ask why they don't? I don't think they  know what love really is. One more thing, we NEVER had got to have a honeymoon after all of that, we had our first baby, so we never could afford it back then, and Then the years came and went among  other things that came up and we never got to plan on one, heck my wife has never been on a vacation. She has done it all, seen it all, and loves me to the end of time, that's why we are together all these years, we made a plan to love and to be together for eternity, the people on your show should not ever have the privilege to be married !!

Thank you, Tim & Dorene, WI

 
March 19, 2007, 7:17 am CDT

drunken groom

Couples who intend to become married should give themselves enough time to know each other's quirks, flaws, and faults, as well as virtues. If the bride-to-be knew her fiance drank as much as to extract a promise that he couldn't keep, then Both of them are not intelligent enough to handle the major issues of making a life together. And don't cart out the "love is blind" cliche as an excuse for stupidity. So many young couples get married without weighing each other's capacity to weather mishaps. I don't know either of them, but if police had been called to MY wedding after the vows, I'd have paid the minister MYSELF to get the marriage annulled!
 
March 19, 2007, 7:25 am CDT

Nicole and TJ

It happened he said he was sorry, if Nicole can't forgive and forget then she needs to call it a day BEFORE they have children. 

The problem with GAzillion dollar weddings is that, in life crap happens.  So what if things didn't go off without a hitch.  Marriage is aboiut love and commitment for the long haul not one day of playing Cinderella. 

My hubby and went decided to forgo the wedding all together and got married in a lovely chapel in TN, just the two of us and the minister.  We have faced the good, the bad and the ugly and we are still in love and have one of healthiest marriages that I know of.

 
March 19, 2007, 8:04 am CDT

03/19 Weddings Gone Bad

Our wedding was so much fun! When we found the court house to file for our license it was closed! There was a very nice women who greeted us at the door said the man who takes care of the license just left  let me see if I can catch him,so she goes running outside flags him down in his car he comes back in opens his office and gets our license for us. The next day we go to the Nashville Wedding Chapel to get married and my soon to be husband left the license back at the motel room a half hour away. The chapel is booked solid the rest of the day ...however these nice people said no problem we will work you in!!! They did and on July 4th 2007 we will be married for 20years! I wolud not change one  minute of that day for anything.Some of our friends and family said man maybe that was a sign it wasn't meant to happen, I said no it was just the way it was suppose to be.

 
March 19, 2007, 8:29 am CDT

Honeymoon from Hell; Marriage from Heaven

My husband and I will be married 18 years ago this June.  Our wedding went well with the exception that my brother in law had a grand mal seizure that morning (Luckily he was and is fine and has never had one since) and a groomsman fainted.  But our honeymoon had everything that could go wrong, go wrong.  Lost purse, building emploded next to our hotel (that we weren't told about) lightening hit the transformer next to our hotel room, resort was chessy and not what we were promised...I could go on.  And our marriage has not been perfect.  Two immature spoiled kids trying to be adults, post pardum depression, chronic illness and pain, a major indescreation, and of course the everyday pains of two people trying to live together and create a family.  But you know what?  I wouldn't trade any of it.  It's not about the wedding or the honeymoon.  It is about two people who love each other, respect each other, get mad at each other to the point you want to ring their neck, but always come back to talking it out.  Should these folks stay together?  Depends on how much they love each other, respect each other, and are willing to put down foolish pride, keeping score, and are willing to talk about it. 
 
March 19, 2007, 8:34 am CDT

03/19 Weddings Gone Bad

Quote From: timothy77

Dr. Phil,

I really DON'T UNDERSTAND these kind of weddings and such behavior? I'm going to tell you about a marriage, and whom ever else is going to read this.

I have been married now for 30 years, big deal right? well if you consider this I think we are way above the norm. I was 17, my wife 16 in 1977, back then I was a logger, we saved $1000.00 and that was for everything, before and after the wedding. The fault in this story is not fighting and cops and other issues that you have on your show, ours was only one thing and that was my fault, 'I forgot to place us for going on a honeymoon somewhere' We drove after the wedding all night and never found a motel or anything that had room, we did however find a place to sleep at 4:00am, but that's a BIG story that would be on your show alone, anyways I'm saying we have had a marriage that lasted 30 years now, 3 daughters, and 5 grandson's and all started at 16 and 17 years of age, and these people are much older I would think, and a heck of allot more money set aside, so what is the problems besides them not really wanting to be married in the first place, I think they just want the cake.

I would love to sit and really talk to people like this and tell them how we love each other and ask why they don't? I don't think they  know what love really is. One more thing, we NEVER had got to have a honeymoon after all of that, we had our first baby, so we never could afford it back then, and Then the years came and went among  other things that came up and we never got to plan on one, heck my wife has never been on a vacation. She has done it all, seen it all, and loves me to the end of time, that's why we are together all these years, we made a plan to love and to be together for eternity, the people on your show should not ever have the privilege to be married !!

Thank you, Tim & Dorene, WI

  AMEN!
 
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