Message Boards

Topic : 08/08 Weddings Gone Bad

Number of Replies: 203
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, March 16, 2007, 10:15:51 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/19/07) Drunken fistfights, motorcycle accidents and police helicopters hovering above … not exactly the building blocks of an ideal wedding. Today’s guests say their perfect day was anything but! From nightmare weather to emergency room visits, these weddings went horribly wrong, and the newlyweds say their marriages are suffering because they can’t get past the painful memories. Nicole says she and her husband-to-be, T.J., promised each other to abstain from alcohol prior to their wedding ceremony, but T.J. broke that promise and got so drunk, he could barely recite his vows! Their special day went from bad to worse when T.J. turned violent, and the police were called. T.J. says he’s apologized enough, and it’s time for Nicole to forgive and forget. Then, Paul and Monica say many things went wrong on their wedding day, but the worst was when they rode off on a motorcycle, only to crash as they turned the corner. They’ve been married for five years and say their wedding calamity set off a curse, dooming them forever. What does Dr. Phil think? How can these couples say “I do” to a brighter future? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More August 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

March 19, 2007, 12:11 pm CDT

Bad weddings...

Quote From: bactphd95

It's only a "curse" if they let it (superstitious nonsense!!). My 2nd wedding was far from "picture perfect" (Mother & niece of Bride had food poisoning [niece upchucked in the church, Mother and aunt of Groom got in a car wreck, delaying the ceremony for an hour, MOB is so wiped out she takes daughter & niece of bride home right after the ceremony & bag the reception).

 

Guess what? We survived!

 

IMO, too much emphasis is put on the BIG DAY, as opposed to the lifetime...

There's an old cliche- bad weddings make for good marriages.  Not in every case, but just because you have a bad wedding doesn't mean anything.  It just a one day ceremony.  The cake at my reception was horrible- I gave the bakery a picture of what I wanted and it looked NOTHING like the picture.  The flowers and decor were a little off- and I felt like I was going to pass out during the whole ceremony.  If I had it to do over, I probably would have skipped the ceremony, eloped and saved the money.  I just wanted the marriage, not necessarily the wedding.  The marriage is great so far. 

 

There are too many elements that go into a wedding for it to go absolutely positively "perfect" anyway.  I think a lot of people look back and say "this or that could have been different", but it is what it is.

 
March 19, 2007, 12:32 pm CDT

Mr. Obvious

I have to say it like it is here.  If this guy got so drunk BEFORE the actual wedding, HE DIDNT WANT TO GET MARRIED!  Seriously come on, its common to have some drinks after the actual wedding but to get wasted before the guests arrive!  I am betting this guy is not a really big drinker but needed alcohol to get through this day because he really DID NOT WANT TO MARRY this girl and didnt know what to do. 

 

Once he got drunk his true feelings came out and he was angry, angry because he got pressured into a marriage.  He was pissed at everyone and showed it.  This is probably a case of a controlling girlfriend forcing him into getting married and he felt trapped.  I am also willing to bet that this girl knows that and this is the real reason that she cant get over what happened.  Honestly, what kind of girl marries a guy while he is that drunk?  A desperate, insecure, and controlling one. 

 

They both made a mistake by getting married here.  He should have been honest and told her he didnt want to marry her; she should never have went ahead and married someone while they were drunk!  This marriage will not last.

 
March 19, 2007, 12:35 pm CDT

So true.....

Quote From: kleesun

I don't get this, either.  If you allow a wedding, no matter how gone awry, to spoil your marriage, you were way too wrapped up in the fairytale fantasy in the first place and not paying attention to the marriage.  I've already decided if I get married, it's going to be small.  A trip to the JP in boots and jeans would be A-OK with me if I met somebody I really loved that much. 

 

And haven't we learned yet to stop raising our little girls to fantasize about a huge blow-out Cinderella wedding?  Every single one of these Wedding Gone Bad/Bridezilla/My Big Day Was Ruined/etc. shows starts out with some woman saying, "Every little girl dreams about her big white wedding . . . "  Really?  I've never dreamed about a big white wedding.  I had lots of little girl dreams (a pony, mostly) but nobody ever filled my head with the Big White Wedding bugaboo.  Fill your daughters' heads with dreams of PhD's or being on the board at UNICEF or winning the Tevis Cup or something, anything, but don't raise her to think that a poofy dress and buttercream icing mark her entry to the adult world.

 

I mean, it's fine and dandy to want a nice wedding--everyone wants a nice wedding (even I'd appreciate it if my theoretical day at the courthouse went well)--but there needs to be a little reality check.

I couldn't agree more.

 

When I was little, I never dreamed of my wedding day either.  I dreamed of my marriage -- loving someone, being loved, taking care of my spouse, children, house, etc.

 

There is a huge difference between a wedding and a marriage.

 

I wonder what would have happened if the minister who presided over the wedding of the first couple, who had to keep helping the groom to state his vows, had actually used his moral authority to halt the proceedings?

 

 
March 19, 2007, 12:43 pm CDT

Just my 2cents...

When my now husband and I got engaged, I started reading wedding magazines and was mortified to see that it is quite standard to spend upwards of $20,000 on a wedding. I was like "no way"! We decided to have a destination wedding in Vegas instead. It was very classy- in the gardens of Caesar's Palace- wonderful sit-down reception- prime-rib/shrimp-open-bar- the works! We had 30 guests and it was great. No regrets. My wedding was different and I love telling ppl about it. The wedding was all-inclusive and cost a little over 5 grand ( not including airfare and extended stay at hotel ) but my point here is that you don't have spend a huge amount of $ to have a nice event. NOTHING could have spoiled that day! We were supposed to have a guitarist- and they goofed up and double-booked him. Do you think this wrecked anything? No way! The hotel compted us a $200 meal plus free drinks at a very posh restaurant. It was fun- my husband is great- and NOTHING could have ruined the day. It's all how you look at it.

 
March 19, 2007, 12:51 pm CDT

You think you had problems?

When my husband and I decided to get married, everything that could go wrong did.  Four months before the wedding our house burned down and we had to go stay with my future in laws.  I did not know at the time, but the fututre MIL hated my son.  Three weeks before the wedding my car crapped out.  Nine days before the wedding my step father died.  My mother insisted we go on as planned.  None of my cousins came because we made the mistake of having the wedding on super bowl weekend.  We have had our ups and downs, but we have come through and are more in love with each other today than on the day we married because while we did plan for the wedding, we did most of our planning fot the MARRIAGE!!  Too many people don't realize the wedding is just 1 day out of a lifetime, while the marriage is the rest of the lifetime.
 
March 19, 2007, 12:53 pm CDT

Good question

Quote From: quicksilver

I couldn't agree more.

 

When I was little, I never dreamed of my wedding day either.  I dreamed of my marriage -- loving someone, being loved, taking care of my spouse, children, house, etc.

 

There is a huge difference between a wedding and a marriage.

 

I wonder what would have happened if the minister who presided over the wedding of the first couple, who had to keep helping the groom to state his vows, had actually used his moral authority to halt the proceedings?

 

Good question about the minister.  If these women really love their husbands, they can move on.

 

I never dreamed of getting married.  That was the last thing on my mind growing up.  I was too busy having fun.  Getting married was never a life goal for me. Living a full life - whether that was single or married - was my goal.

 

If the worst day of their married life is their wedding day, then these couples will have an easy life!

 
March 19, 2007, 12:59 pm CDT

I'll trade with ya

After 6 years of being single and finally letting my heart go to someone, I had a beautiful picture perfect wedding, everything went well. I looked forward to my happy every after. Less than two years later, he left debt free and with another woman. It blindsided me. The kids and I lost our home of 15 years. I would trade with anyone who had a nightmere wedding,  for a love that was meant to last. The wedding isn't important..the trust, compassion and love that follows it, is. One day doesn't decide the relationships future.
 
March 19, 2007, 1:01 pm CDT

My son't wedding

My son't wedding was heart breaking for me.  I was looking forward to it with great anticipation, and we, my husband and I flew to my future dau-in-law's home town with such happiness at the thought of meeting her family in rural MN.  We arrived there after having talked on the phone with her mother several times and feeling that we had established somewhat of a friendship,and defininitely I had what I considered a solid relationship with my son's finance'.  You can only imagine my shock when we were met with complete coldness by my future dau-in-law, and her family.  She was not only rude to me and my husband, but also to my son.  She seem to finally work out the issue with my son, but she never warmed up to me again, and her family, which was a large extended one, continued to treat my husband and I like dirt.  It was devastating to me.  My only son't wedding, and he was so disrespected by the way his future inlaws were treating his family, and it never let up for the whole five days we were there.  They were absolutely nasty to us, and we never got an explanation for it.  It set the tone for the whole relationship, and I have worked for the past 10 years trying to make the relationship with my dau-in-law peaceful and harmonious.  After this length of time, I have finally decided she is old enough to be past the young five gitters or insecurities.  I am a wonderful mother-in-law, loving and supportive, and I've been consistently such.  Its a complete mystery to me and to my husband why she has chosen to be the way she is, and she has never ever fully respected my son, and it saddens me, truly.  He's a good guy with a good heart - a Captain in the Army, pulled a year in Iraq, as a Apache pilot, and is just an all American great guy.  I love her, but she won't let me get close.  If I told all the details of that nightmare wedding, it would make the weddings you featured on your show, Dr. Phil, look tame, and we truly did nothing to bring it on ourselves.  We were invited, and then greeted with coldness.  My husband almost left.  That's my story.   Annette M.  e-mail: gemnette@comcast.net
 
March 19, 2007, 1:05 pm CDT

MWI...

Quote From: johnnyboyblack

I have to say it like it is here.  If this guy got so drunk BEFORE the actual wedding, HE DIDNT WANT TO GET MARRIED!  Seriously come on, its common to have some drinks after the actual wedding but to get wasted before the guests arrive!  I am betting this guy is not a really big drinker but needed alcohol to get through this day because he really DID NOT WANT TO MARRY this girl and didnt know what to do. 

 

Once he got drunk his true feelings came out and he was angry, angry because he got pressured into a marriage.  He was pissed at everyone and showed it.  This is probably a case of a controlling girlfriend forcing him into getting married and he felt trapped.  I am also willing to bet that this girl knows that and this is the real reason that she cant get over what happened.  Honestly, what kind of girl marries a guy while he is that drunk?  A desperate, insecure, and controlling one. 

 

They both made a mistake by getting married here.  He should have been honest and told her he didnt want to marry her; she should never have went ahead and married someone while they were drunk!  This marriage will not last.

MWI-Marriage while intoxicated, happens a bit too often.  This friend of my hairdresser was drunk at his wedding.  When he was asked to say I do, he said "Surrrrrre, I'll marry her", and was obviously toasted. 

 

I agree, I wouldn't marry someone who's obviously drunk- just postpone it until he's either sober, or you find out why he choose to drink in the first place.  It might just be a case of nerves- in that case, skip the stupid ceremony and go to the JP court.  Who knows why he really did it, but they need some marriage counseling.

 
March 19, 2007, 1:09 pm CDT

03/19 Weddings Gone Bad

Quote From: palshanna

When I married my husband (almost 4 years ago), he was the perfect boyfriend and I though our wedding night would be wonderful. As it turns out it was a nightmare. He was mad at my father for my dad making some harmless comment that my husband took totally out of context. then we had a separate reception for the people that wanted to drink. My husband got totally bombed, we then ended up at my sisters house for a barbecue and he continued to drink. He was then passed out on the couch so I got him up and got him in the car to go home. Half way down the block we forgot his shoes so I turned around to get them, he started screaming at me and calling me all kinds of names, jumped out of the car threw his cell phone at the car, put a dent in the car and would not get back in. So I left him (we were only 6 blocks from home at this point). I went home and he kept calling me on my cell phone and yelling at me how he didn't want to get married I was a b****, a c***, he threw his wedding ring and it got smashed by a passing car. He then got home and kept screaming at me until he passed out. The next morning he was apologetic and wanted to make it up to me, but nothing can make up for ruining a night that was suppose to be the happiest for both of us. I still do not let him live it down. I can relate to these couples.

If your husband's "ruining" your wedding night is so heinous that, after four years. you still refuse to let him live it down, it's a wonder you're still married. I couldn't live for four years under such punishment. Or, meting it out. So many boyfriends are "perfect" until they've "snagged" their wife. Then, it's a whole new ball game. If I were you, I would've taken your husband's wedding night behavior as a precurser for things to come. And, gotten an annulment the next day.

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Next | Last