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Topic : 08/08 Weddings Gone Bad

Number of Replies: 203
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Created on : Friday, March 16, 2007, 10:15:51 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/19/07) Drunken fistfights, motorcycle accidents and police helicopters hovering above … not exactly the building blocks of an ideal wedding. Today’s guests say their perfect day was anything but! From nightmare weather to emergency room visits, these weddings went horribly wrong, and the newlyweds say their marriages are suffering because they can’t get past the painful memories. Nicole says she and her husband-to-be, T.J., promised each other to abstain from alcohol prior to their wedding ceremony, but T.J. broke that promise and got so drunk, he could barely recite his vows! Their special day went from bad to worse when T.J. turned violent, and the police were called. T.J. says he’s apologized enough, and it’s time for Nicole to forgive and forget. Then, Paul and Monica say many things went wrong on their wedding day, but the worst was when they rode off on a motorcycle, only to crash as they turned the corner. They’ve been married for five years and say their wedding calamity set off a curse, dooming them forever. What does Dr. Phil think? How can these couples say “I do” to a brighter future? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 19, 2007, 1:15 pm CDT

03/19 Weddings Gone Bad

Quote From: palshanna

When I married my husband (almost 4 years ago), he was the perfect boyfriend and I though our wedding night would be wonderful. As it turns out it was a nightmare. He was mad at my father for my dad making some harmless comment that my husband took totally out of context. then we had a separate reception for the people that wanted to drink. My husband got totally bombed, we then ended up at my sisters house for a barbecue and he continued to drink. He was then passed out on the couch so I got him up and got him in the car to go home. Half way down the block we forgot his shoes so I turned around to get them, he started screaming at me and calling me all kinds of names, jumped out of the car threw his cell phone at the car, put a dent in the car and would not get back in. So I left him (we were only 6 blocks from home at this point). I went home and he kept calling me on my cell phone and yelling at me how he didn't want to get married I was a b****, a c***, he threw his wedding ring and it got smashed by a passing car. He then got home and kept screaming at me until he passed out. The next morning he was apologetic and wanted to make it up to me, but nothing can make up for ruining a night that was suppose to be the happiest for both of us. I still do not let him live it down. I can relate to these couples.
So how long do you think he should be punished? Don't get me wrong, I think he was a jerk, but you are the one in the wrong now. It's been 4 YEARS!!! Let it go!
 
March 19, 2007, 1:16 pm CDT

I totally agree with Dr. Phil

When Dr. Phil told the couples that if this was the most "horrible' thing that happens to them, they are lucky - he was totally right!  Having a great wedding day is nice - mine was ok, not how I dreamed of it being, but nice - however, when life has so many other things to throw in your path, why make one day the road map for the rest of your life?  To give you examples, my husband had a heart attack in 1998, then another massive heart attack in 2005 when we almost lost him .  We did lose the family home and had to go bankrupt.  Just when we thought we were making headway, he was forced to retire because of his health.  We thought it was his heart -- nope, leukemia.  That was late November.  After his first chemo treatment, he had another heart attack.  He's been in and out of the hospital since with more heart trouble and chemo treatments.  So...to make my point, be thankful for the wonderful spouse you married; don't sweet the small stuff; and live everyday to the fullest.  
 
March 19, 2007, 1:17 pm CDT

I Can Top That!

My husband and I got married on 9-13-01, two days after 9-11.  At the time, I was working directly across the street from the World Trade Center.  Luckily, I had the morning of the 11th off, and was on my way to get my wedding dress when the first plane hit.  Obviously I never got the dress.  My then husband-to-be and I decided that, no matter how bad it got, we were going to go and get married on 9-13...the terrorists took my job, our neighborhood, and a lot of friends...but it wasn't going to take our wedding.  At the time we got married, I still had seven coworkers unaccounted for, so I got married in a black suit--it seemed the most appropriate thing, and I didn't have a dress anyway!  All the airspace was closed, so there went the honeymoon.  And my husband, who is from England, briefly enjoyed status as an illegal alien, because the INS and embassies shut down for weeks after the attacks.  When we were done being married, we had our photos taken with policemen and rescue workers.  No reception, just a huge candlelight vigil later that night, and then we worked on the cleanup and recovery for weeks after that.

 

Obviously, there was a lot of bad.  But the one thing that never faultered was our love for each other.  We've been married now for five years, and every year we say, "You know, we should renew our vows or something so that we can have that whole wedding experience."  But it hasn't been important enough to do yet, and it feels a bit silly, since we are already married.  And, of course, every year we have a sad anniversary right before the happy anniversary, so it's hard to plan a big party for that week.  My advice to anyone who has had their wedding dreams crash upon the rocks: The wedding is for your friends and family more than anyone else...the marriage is for you.  So it's better to have a disappointing wedding and a strong marriage than a dream wedding and a crap marriage.  On 9-11, the only thing I could find to be grateful for was that God gave me someone to stand next to that day.  On 9-13, I was so thankful that we were both safe and okay, and that we were actually able to wed each other.  That's what's important, the rest is just material. 

 
March 19, 2007, 1:27 pm CDT

03/19 Weddings Gone Bad

Quote From: penny_lady

So how long do you think he should be punished? Don't get me wrong, I think he was a jerk, but you are the one in the wrong now. It's been 4 YEARS!!! Let it go!

Or, let him go!

 
March 19, 2007, 1:28 pm CDT

03/19 Weddings Gone Bad

Quote From: tiffanyinnyc

My husband and I got married on 9-13-01, two days after 9-11.  At the time, I was working directly across the street from the World Trade Center.  Luckily, I had the morning of the 11th off, and was on my way to get my wedding dress when the first plane hit.  Obviously I never got the dress.  My then husband-to-be and I decided that, no matter how bad it got, we were going to go and get married on 9-13...the terrorists took my job, our neighborhood, and a lot of friends...but it wasn't going to take our wedding.  At the time we got married, I still had seven coworkers unaccounted for, so I got married in a black suit--it seemed the most appropriate thing, and I didn't have a dress anyway!  All the airspace was closed, so there went the honeymoon.  And my husband, who is from England, briefly enjoyed status as an illegal alien, because the INS and embassies shut down for weeks after the attacks.  When we were done being married, we had our photos taken with policemen and rescue workers.  No reception, just a huge candlelight vigil later that night, and then we worked on the cleanup and recovery for weeks after that.

 

Obviously, there was a lot of bad.  But the one thing that never faultered was our love for each other.  We've been married now for five years, and every year we say, "You know, we should renew our vows or something so that we can have that whole wedding experience."  But it hasn't been important enough to do yet, and it feels a bit silly, since we are already married.  And, of course, every year we have a sad anniversary right before the happy anniversary, so it's hard to plan a big party for that week.  My advice to anyone who has had their wedding dreams crash upon the rocks: The wedding is for your friends and family more than anyone else...the marriage is for you.  So it's better to have a disappointing wedding and a strong marriage than a dream wedding and a crap marriage.  On 9-11, the only thing I could find to be grateful for was that God gave me someone to stand next to that day.  On 9-13, I was so thankful that we were both safe and okay, and that we were actually able to wed each other.  That's what's important, the rest is just material. 

Thank you for sharing that.  Sometimes you feel alone when things are going so wrong.  You are right about thanking God for sending a person to stand next to you.  He sent me not only my husband of 9 years, but also two beautiful angels to be part of my life.  Thanks again!
 
March 19, 2007, 1:30 pm CDT

My Boppy died on ourwedding day

My Boppy who i was named for (granfather) who lived next door to me all my life, who retired when I was born, who drove me to and from school everyday. We thought he was having a heart attack he was rushed to the hospital (at 2pm, our wedding was schedualed for 4pm)He had a  femoral anyurism that burst  and he died. That was our wedding day. We still got married. We "felt" him there with us.

Honeymoon? We went to my Boppys funeral.

7 years after our wedding: my mother had cancer and died

8 years after our wedding my mother-in-law had cancer and died

9 years after our wedding I had our first child 11 weeks preterm. The dr "made a mistake" and our child has sever cerebral palsey.

11 years after our wedding we had another baby

14 years after our wedding we had our 3rd baby

16 years after our wedding my father had cancer and died

16.5 years we finally got to court over my sons delivery ..long bad story

17 years after our wedding my grandmother died

18  the company my hubby  worked for closed. he lost his job

19 years- we relocated for a job

24 years--we're stll married

still no honeymoon. still waiting.

 

 

 
March 19, 2007, 1:32 pm CDT

forget about the disaster wedding,your together

My friend's daughter's wedding almost beats them all.She got married in June,small wedding,parents,grandparents sisters and brothers,I was in the hospt,didn't make it,wish I did, it was the best day of their life....It poured!!!They had the ceremony in their bk yard of the house the bought before they got married..from the pictures I've seen,they were having a great time..soaked to the bone,they didn't care..laughing all the while,everyone was soaked...but I  guess it's because all they wanted was to be married,to be together..their first time together actually...they were both still pure...a marriage made in heaven...and they are still very much in love and happy..unless there is a death or injury,whats the problem???the couples should be happy their together..sorry so long a comment

 
March 19, 2007, 1:37 pm CDT

03/19 Weddings Gone Bad

Quote From: tiffanyinnyc

My husband and I got married on 9-13-01, two days after 9-11.  At the time, I was working directly across the street from the World Trade Center.  Luckily, I had the morning of the 11th off, and was on my way to get my wedding dress when the first plane hit.  Obviously I never got the dress.  My then husband-to-be and I decided that, no matter how bad it got, we were going to go and get married on 9-13...the terrorists took my job, our neighborhood, and a lot of friends...but it wasn't going to take our wedding.  At the time we got married, I still had seven coworkers unaccounted for, so I got married in a black suit--it seemed the most appropriate thing, and I didn't have a dress anyway!  All the airspace was closed, so there went the honeymoon.  And my husband, who is from England, briefly enjoyed status as an illegal alien, because the INS and embassies shut down for weeks after the attacks.  When we were done being married, we had our photos taken with policemen and rescue workers.  No reception, just a huge candlelight vigil later that night, and then we worked on the cleanup and recovery for weeks after that.

 

Obviously, there was a lot of bad.  But the one thing that never faultered was our love for each other.  We've been married now for five years, and every year we say, "You know, we should renew our vows or something so that we can have that whole wedding experience."  But it hasn't been important enough to do yet, and it feels a bit silly, since we are already married.  And, of course, every year we have a sad anniversary right before the happy anniversary, so it's hard to plan a big party for that week.  My advice to anyone who has had their wedding dreams crash upon the rocks: The wedding is for your friends and family more than anyone else...the marriage is for you.  So it's better to have a disappointing wedding and a strong marriage than a dream wedding and a crap marriage.  On 9-11, the only thing I could find to be grateful for was that God gave me someone to stand next to that day.  On 9-13, I was so thankful that we were both safe and okay, and that we were actually able to wed each other.  That's what's important, the rest is just material. 

beautiful touching story,you are blessed
 
March 19, 2007, 1:40 pm CDT

Weddings gone bad

My sister's wedding had things go wrong.  The Minister pronounced Janet and John - Husband and Hus---- Wife"  We joked about it at the reception saying it must be a 50-50 wedding since they were husband and husband.  They laughed.  Then, the cake that my mother had made was professionally iced.  The instructions were the icing needed to be firm enough to hold my sister's bouquet which was to be the decoration for the cake.  It turned out beautifully.  When they tried to cut the cake, the icing was like cement.  Using the tip did not penetrate the cement icing.  They finally had to chisel their way into the cake.  Every one was laughing including my sister and her new husband. 

People get too stuck on details and forget what is going on so that they can enjoy  the moment.  I have never been married but I am not one that lets stupid stuff get in the way. 

Anne

 
March 19, 2007, 1:52 pm CDT

Weddings...

As long as the couples are in love and happy, I think that should be what matters.  Complaining about your wedding because of things that you know could possibly happen or things that you can't control should be forgotten.  I'm not one of those girls who dreamed of their wedding day since they were a little girl, so my thoughts are obviously different than 90% of women out there.  I am content with my husband and I's wedding at the Hitching Post in Idaho.  We had no witnesses and we couldn't tell his family because his ex-wife spread horrible rumors about me   so they didn't like me with him.  I had to go to work at 12:30 that afternoon and I don't complain about any part of our wedding.  I'm extremely happy with my life, husband, and wedding or lack there of.  So to hear these people complain about their wedding makes me sad.
 
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