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Topic : 03/26 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention Follow-Up

Number of Replies: 90
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Created on : Friday, March 23, 2007, 10:06:27 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Alex was an out-of-control 14-year-old who was stealing, running away, doing drugs and prostituting herself to older men when her family turned her in to Dr. Phil. After a tumultuous stay in The Dr. Phil House, Alex said goodbye to her mother, Kim, her grandmother, Jeanette, and her aunt, Enza, and headed to a therapeutic academy to be in a healthy learning environment. Six weeks have passed since Alex left and her family returned home without her. How has she adjusted to her new structured environment? Have Kim, Jeanette and Enza put aside their judgments and accusations, and come together once and for all? As Kim prepares for her daughter’s return, has she turned around the toxic family environment that contributed to Alex’s unhealthy behavior? Talk about the show here.

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March 24, 2007, 4:09 am CDT

I believe in Hope !

 I haven't seen the show yet, but I hope for Alex's sake that her Mother, grandmother and Aunt are not going to judge her and show antagonism towards her.  Alex would have learned many positive things about herself and how to live her life, so i hope she will come home to an atmosphere of love, patience, kindness and understanding. Such is my hope.

Lory(Australia) 

 
March 24, 2007, 8:39 am CDT

ANXIETY SELF HATRED AND FEMALE AGGRESSION

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious psychological disorder characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior.  This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. 

 

While less known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2% of adults (1-33), mostly women.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

 

 

 

The Psychology of Female Violence by Anna Motz

 

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR The Angry Heart:  Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen

 

Understanding the Borderline Mother:  Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson  

 

Stop Walking on Eggshells:  Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Know Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 

 

 

 

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical and sexual abuse have signposts to mark their presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Just as physical and sexual abuse come in degrees of severity, emotional abuse runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

 
March 24, 2007, 10:15 am CDT

Lots of Issues

I hope Alex can get it together & grow up to be a well-grounded young woman, but from what I saw on the past shows, that whole family has lots of issues to work out, not just Alex's.  I never did quite understand just what role Enza played in all this, other than to cause disruption & discord with everyone.  I got the impression that every person involved in this saga needs help.  Dr.Phil has his work cut out in this one.
 
March 24, 2007, 11:52 am CDT

03/26 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention Follow-Up

Hello, friends! This is the finale of the Teen Intervention. In case you're just joining this, let me recap for you:

 

On January 8th, we've first seen a woman named Kim, along with her daughter, Alex. Alex, 14, has been running away from home, stealing money from her grandmother and selling her body to men nearly twice her age. After speaking with Kim on the phone, Dr. Phil arranges for the family to move into The Dr. Phil House. Joining Kim and Alex are two other important family members: Enza, Alex’s aunt, and Jeanette, Alex’s grandmother. Kim and Enza are sisters-in-law who cannot be in the same room together without fighting. Enza has some strong opinions about Kim’s parenting skills, and think Alex’s behavior is Kim’s fault. Jeanette admits she has checked out when it comes to Alex and no longer intervenes. Within minutes of moving in the house, Alex goes trolling for older men on the Internet. Dr. Phil sits down with Kim to find out how the family declined into chaos. Kim denies being an alcoholic, though she does admit she partied too much in front of her daughter. Enza watches from another room, frustrated by the lies she claims Kim is telling. When she joins the conversation, sparks fly as the two women immediately launch into an argument.

 

Then, on part two of the series, Alex tells Dr. Phil she wants help to stop her destructive behavior. As he monitors the House from his computer, Dr. Phil is struck speechless after watching Enza have an inappropriate conversation with her niece, bad-mouthing Alex’s mother. Then Enza starts a fight with Kim, in front of the teen. Alex heads to a health clinic to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases, and another heated argument breaks out between Enza and Kim. Dr. Phil sits down with Alex to talk about her future. When a doctor reveals her much-anticipated test results, Alex is relieved to learn that she’s HIV-negative. Dr. Phil reminds her that she’s getting a second chance to start over. Dr. Phil meets with the two fighting women and shows a video clip that leaves Kim shocked and looking to her sister-in-law for an explanation.

 

Part three of the series continued as Dr. Phil confronts Alex’s aunt, Enza, and her mother, Kim, about how their venomous relationship is affecting Alex and leading her to turn to men for comfort. Enza apologizes for her inappropriate conversations with Alex. Jeanette overhears a discussion between Kim and Enza and, upset, informs Kim that she will find a new place to live. After confiscating Alex’s cell phone, Kim is disgusted to hear a voicemail from an older man, trying to contact Alex for sex. Private investigator Harold Copus meets with Alex and gets information on the men she says she’s been with. On their last day in the House, Dr. Phil breaks the news to Alex that she won’t be returning home with her family, but will be headed to a therapeutic academy, to be in a healthy learning environment and learn how to take responsibility for herself. Alex breaks down in tears when she learns she’s leaving immediately.

 

Now, Six weeks have passed since Alex left and her family returned home without her. How has she adjusted to her new structured environment? Have Kim, Jeanette and Enza put aside their judgments and accusations, and come together once and for all? As Kim prepares for her daughter’s return, has she turned around the toxic family environment that contributed to Alex’s unhealthy behavior? We’ll know soon enough.

 
March 24, 2007, 5:50 pm CDT

03/26 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention Follow-Up

I too haven't seen the show, though I might have caught one or two of the series earlier on. Its hard to remeber all the different shows.  Anyway, just wanting to also express my hope for a new beginning and that Alex is able to be emotionally better cared for when she returns home.

Its so vital that our young people recieve love and firm parenting at this stage in their development. They are getting ready to break their old patterns of childhood and establish who they will be as adults. Its already a horribly confusing and frustrating time, caught between child and adult. Hormones flare up, emotions are up one moment and crashing hard the next, with all that to contend with even as a "normal" teen, having the toxic home enviroment makes it that much harder for her to express herself as she matures and grows into a young adult.

I know what its like to turn to older men for comfort, when I was 14 I too used them as an escape from a saddening home situation. I wish now that I could go back to that age and knock myself up side the head, or at least have had someone who cared enough to stop me from self destructing like that. The worse part, was that no one knew that I was doing this, they never spent enough time talking with me to find out why I was always so depressed, and running away. I could have ended up with a VD or pregnant or dead. I was so emotionally destroyed thinking that I wasn't worth the time for one of my parents to invest in getting to the truth, for them to sit down and talk with me, find out what was wrong in my life. They just shoved me out the door off to a therapist who prescribed anti-depressants, when I would have much rather had my mom care and talk to me like a human being rather then a problem.

 

 It has been a long long time and alot of introspective thinking to get over that time in my life. Its scarred me, changed me, and stunted my emotional growth for awhile. But I will not let that time period (or any of the other bad ones) define who I am as an adult.

 

It would be incredibly easy for me to blame my mother, however, as adults we talked about her childhood and upbringing and it has helped me to be more understanding. Fifteen years later now, I know that she wasn't nurtured and her family never spoke about emotional issues. Her mother never hugged her or ever told her that she loved her. And the emotional distancing goes back further, my grandmother's mom died in childbirth and her father remarried very quickly to a very emotionally distant woman. My grandmother was only five when she lost her mother, so she grew up in a home with no love from her step mother (who considered her a burden) and a father who was just happy to have another woman feed and cloth his children. At some point, the chain of emotional neglect has to be stopped or if I ever have children this will be the legacy I pass on to them.

 

Ok, I've gone off on a tangent here. However, I just once more want to express my hope and prayers for the well being of Alex and all of her family.

 

 
March 25, 2007, 1:37 pm CDT

I hope that something positive has happened to help the relationships among Kim,Enza and Jeanette.

I feel very hopeful that Alex has made some positive adjustments while away from her home. I'm so glad that she was able to get help.She's so young with so many years ahead of her to have a great life. I hope the adults have made some headway. It's very hard to change bad habits that we have fallen into. They are only human,but I feel they have Alex's best interests in mind. I have no right to say this but I wonder if Enza's presence in this family is really that important? I know family is family, but I feel that of the three or them Enza may have the hardest time changing her attitude.I'm afraid she may fall back into trying to undermine the relationship between Kim and Alex. I just hope and pray that things can get to a point where Alex can have a stable and normal(Are any of us NORMAL?) life.
 
March 26, 2007, 5:44 am CDT

If your not part of the solution then your part of the problem.

In reading through some of the posts on this topic, I have found that MOST are in agreement as far as well wishes for Alex and her family.  I join them in this.  However, there is one point I would like to make: the in-fighting between the mother, sister-in-law, and grandmother has got to stop.This childs problem and her withdrawal from family, I feel, may be symptomatic of the discourse and rage exhibited within the family unit.  No child wants to be around anyone who is consistantly fighting.  In the shows that I've watched, it seems that Enza's only purpose in life is to make Kims llife miserable regardless of who suffers.

 

Personally, I feel that Enza's opinion of Kim's parenting skills may be dead on, however, she should keep such to herself.   There isn't a parent alive who hasn't made mistakes in their rearing of their children - Including our "idol" Dr. Phil.  There is no "owners" manual or "Raising Children For Dummies" book available - save the Bible, which is subject  to interpretation. 

 

My advice to the family?  Kim - leave any drugs, alcohol and men alone.  Concentrate on your daughter.  If you must have a man, take him to a motel room.  If you must have a party with drugs and alcohol, take your daughter to your mother for the weekend or allow her to stay with a FEMALE friend her age.  Jeanette - As a grandparent myself, I don't always agree with the decisions that my children make in regards to their children.  I have to constantly remind myself that I am granddaddy - not daddy.  I am always there for my children should they need to come to me for advice.  Kim needs to know that you are there for her.  It's tough enough being a single parent without someone pointing out her faults and not slapping her on the back for a job well done when she does something right.  Enza - SHUTUP!  You are "SISTER-IN-LAW".  If your HUSBAND isn't worried about the child then you shouldn't be.  You really need to stay out of their business and keep your opinions to yourself.  YOU TRY REARING A CHILD ALONE!  The only involvment you should have MAYBE to be there for Alex to cry on your shoulder on occasion.  STOP STIRRING SH*T!  Alex - I know your young and confused.  You are going through changes both mentally, physically and hormonally and this is a tuff time for you.  I have four daughters so I am familiar with these events in your life, however, dont allow yourself to use these problems as a crutch or an excuse to misbehave.  You are a beautiful young woman who has the potential for greatness.  Don't throw away this opportunity that Dr. Phil has given you to straighten up your life before it's too late.  In short, PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR *SS and start facing your responsibilities like a young woman should.  Your not a child anymore.  Act your age, not your aunts IQ.

 
March 26, 2007, 6:05 am CDT

Enza

It sure seems tome like Enza is a little too interested in looking like a hero and making everyone else looks like less of one.  Why does she need to keep reminding everyone that she is the one who got Alex help and she is the hero?  To me that says that she is not interested in working for the welfare of everyone involved.  Who cares who initiated the whole thing at this point?  Just do what it takes to get the girl help.
 
March 26, 2007, 6:44 am CDT

I hope this works for Alex

I really hope this is working for Alex.  I'm just waiting to see it today.  I am going through pretty much the same thing with my daughter, but certainly can't see were all of her anger comes from.  I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, just so that I don't get her anger going and be the cause of her taking off or running away.  Keeping her in school has been such a struggle.  She only wants to do what she wants to do.  We have her in therapy, which she informs me that she's not going any more.  She has been prescribed Wellbutrin, which I think is helping her a little bit.  Family members say that she will grow out of it, but I can't see her get hurt in the process.
 
March 26, 2007, 6:51 am CDT

The Wicked Enza

If Dr. Phil can do something with Aunt Enza, I think the girl and her mom will be okay.  Enza needs to butt out and stay at her own house.  This woman has gotten this young girl so torn and confused.  I believe that her mother loves her and is trying to help her.  Teens can be very difficult, and being the perfect parent is difficult too.  A mother and daughter can go through struggles together, help each other and survive it....as long as there is not a negative influence like Aunt Enza. 

Good luck Dr. Phil......

 
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