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Topic : 04/04 Did He or Didn't He?

Number of Replies: 383
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Created on : Thursday, March 29, 2007, 12:43:09 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
What happens when family members take sides … against each other? Steven Jr. has been accused by his stepmother, Pam, and his stepsister, Tashika, of molesting Tashika's then 3-year-old daughter. Steven Jr. says there's no way he would ever commit such a sick act against a child. His father, Steve, says he believes his son, and the allegations are destroying his marriage and their family. In order to prove his innocence, Steven Jr. agrees to take a polygraph exam. After two hours of testing, will the truth be revealed? Find out the surprising results. And, why does Steven Jr. believe that his family is alleging he committed this crime and turning their backs on him? Will this family get the answers they are looking for and be able to move forward? Talk about the show here.

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April 4, 2007, 11:01 am CDT

Very Mad

I read some of what these people in this show said. What makes me sick is that the own mother of the child isn't sure if she believes this. You either believe your 5 year old or you dont. Maybe the child was coached into this cause a real mother that had her 5 year old tell her someone touched would believe the child, for there wouldn't be any other reason to not believe it. But I question the young man Steven JR. this kind of crime no one wants to admit they ever did it. They know they have done wrong not like stealing wrong, like sick wrong being ashamed of your self wrong. People just don't freely admit when they have done something like that. He also knows what will happen if he admits this. This is where its gets tricky you just dont know. I usually take the lead from what the mother thinks, if she really believes her child then I do believe the woman is right. But this woman says she could be wrong in believing her daughter. And I don't care what Dr Phil (even though I love his show) says little kids do not pull these thoughts out of thin air. Either they happend or someone told her to say this. It makes me very sad to see this. If that little girl is telling the truth, and really no one believes her what kind of trust is she going to have in people now. And sorry I think she has a bad mother, to stop taking her daughter into counselling cause it took too much of her time. Lady get with it, this is your daughter and your time is her time You don't have your life anymore. ITS YOUR CHILD. I would do anything for my son. There would be nothing that I would put above him. If I had to spend hours at a freakin' counselors office everyday to get him help I would be there with a book waiting around for him. I just don't understand these people that have children and then think that they don't have to do all these important things for there children. Its why we have alot of out of control kids. True its not always the parents fault, but we should think more about our children welfare then our own wants. I see it too much and it makes me sick.

 

*sorry for the bad spelling and grammer, I'm a little upset

 
April 4, 2007, 11:20 am CDT

LOST FAMILY

MY DAUGHTER WAS SEXUALLY MOLESTED BY HER BROTHER (MY SON), IT STARTED WHEN SHE WAS 4 AND IT TOOK HER 2 YEARS TO TELL SOMEONE. I DIDN'T SEE ANY SIGNS THAT SOMETHING WASN'T RIGHT. MY SON WAS MORE MOODY AND DIDN'T WANT TO SPEND MUCH TIME AS A FAMILY. I THOUGHT THAT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS A TEENAGER. I WAS WRONG. I NEVER DOUBTED MY DAUGHTER AND MY SON DID CONFIRM SOME OF WHAT MY DAUGHTER TOLD DCFS. I HAVE AMAZING LITTLE GIRL, SHE WAS BRAVE AND TOLD SOMEONE. MY FAMILY HASN'T BEEN SUPPORTIVE. I HAVE LOST ALL MY FAMILY, (PARENTS, SISTER, ETC) BECAUSE I SUPPORTED MY DAUGHTER AND HAVE FOLLOWED THE ADVICE OF HER THERAPHIST. BUT I DIDN'T BRUSH IT UNDER THE RUG. I DIDN'T FORGET IT HAPPEN, I WILL NEVER FORGET. MY SON WAS NOT ABUSE AS A CHILD, HE IS ANGRY, SELF CENTER KID, THAT DIDN'T LIKE THAT HE WAS'T THE ONLY CHILD ANY MORE. IT HAS BLOWS MY MIND THAT MY FAMILY IS ONLY CONCERNED ABOUT MY SON AND HAS SHOWN NO CONCERN FOR HER, AND THE REASON I'M TOLD IS BECAUSE SHE IS YOUNG. I DON'T CARE HOW OLD THE CHILD IS, IT IS NEVER OK TO ABUSE A CHILD.

 
April 4, 2007, 11:42 am CDT

Today....

I will watch with open eyes and see what is said and not said..

As a SURVIOR of INCEST  our perceptions are more deeper than someone who has not been thru this....

 

I will come back and give a 100 percent fair statement!

 
April 4, 2007, 11:54 am CDT

I AGREE

Quote From: tiffany_2007

I read some of what these people in this show said. What makes me sick is that the own mother of the child isn't sure if she believes this. You either believe your 5 year old or you dont. Maybe the child was coached into this cause a real mother that had her 5 year old tell her someone touched would believe the child, for there wouldn't be any other reason to not believe it. But I question the young man Steven JR. this kind of crime no one wants to admit they ever did it. They know they have done wrong not like stealing wrong, like sick wrong being ashamed of your self wrong. People just don't freely admit when they have done something like that. He also knows what will happen if he admits this. This is where its gets tricky you just dont know. I usually take the lead from what the mother thinks, if she really believes her child then I do believe the woman is right. But this woman says she could be wrong in believing her daughter. And I don't care what Dr Phil (even though I love his show) says little kids do not pull these thoughts out of thin air. Either they happend or someone told her to say this. It makes me very sad to see this. If that little girl is telling the truth, and really no one believes her what kind of trust is she going to have in people now. And sorry I think she has a bad mother, to stop taking her daughter into counselling cause it took too much of her time. Lady get with it, this is your daughter and your time is her time You don't have your life anymore. ITS YOUR CHILD. I would do anything for my son. There would be nothing that I would put above him. If I had to spend hours at a freakin' counselors office everyday to get him help I would be there with a book waiting around for him. I just don't understand these people that have children and then think that they don't have to do all these important things for there children. Its why we have alot of out of control kids. True its not always the parents fault, but we should think more about our children welfare then our own wants. I see it too much and it makes me sick.

 

*sorry for the bad spelling and grammer, I'm a little upset

I agree with you completely!!!   Things seem rather fishy about the mother though.  And really about this whole story.  But the child is the one anyone should be concerned about.  Not Steven, or the marriage or family.  If this really happened to her she needs all the love and support she can get not family bickering and pitty parties.  And even if this didn't happen to her, she is now involved in something that she might start to believe happened and still need counseling for that too. 

 

This family really need to change their focus either way!!!  Steven Jr needs to quit having a pitty party and move on with life!

 
April 4, 2007, 12:09 pm CDT

An Interesting Slant

Quote From: tiffany_2007

I read some of what these people in this show said. What makes me sick is that the own mother of the child isn't sure if she believes this. You either believe your 5 year old or you dont. Maybe the child was coached into this cause a real mother that had her 5 year old tell her someone touched would believe the child, for there wouldn't be any other reason to not believe it. But I question the young man Steven JR. this kind of crime no one wants to admit they ever did it. They know they have done wrong not like stealing wrong, like sick wrong being ashamed of your self wrong. People just don't freely admit when they have done something like that. He also knows what will happen if he admits this. This is where its gets tricky you just dont know. I usually take the lead from what the mother thinks, if she really believes her child then I do believe the woman is right. But this woman says she could be wrong in believing her daughter. And I don't care what Dr Phil (even though I love his show) says little kids do not pull these thoughts out of thin air. Either they happend or someone told her to say this. It makes me very sad to see this. If that little girl is telling the truth, and really no one believes her what kind of trust is she going to have in people now. And sorry I think she has a bad mother, to stop taking her daughter into counselling cause it took too much of her time. Lady get with it, this is your daughter and your time is her time You don't have your life anymore. ITS YOUR CHILD. I would do anything for my son. There would be nothing that I would put above him. If I had to spend hours at a freakin' counselors office everyday to get him help I would be there with a book waiting around for him. I just don't understand these people that have children and then think that they don't have to do all these important things for there children. Its why we have alot of out of control kids. True its not always the parents fault, but we should think more about our children welfare then our own wants. I see it too much and it makes me sick.

 

*sorry for the bad spelling and grammer, I'm a little upset

You have a unique slant on this story.  I do think you're dealing with two separate things though.  First is whether or not the man did touch the child improperly.  I saw no evidence that he had and a surprising amount that he had not.  Yet, he will live the rest of his life with this stigma.  The mother should be prosecuted.

 

Second is the mother and the little girl.  I see well what you mean.  It is almost as if the child is secondary to the mother.  How could she stop the counseling? 

 

I do agree with Dr. Phil regarding the kinds of things a child that age is capable of saying.  The concept had probably been introduced to her by the mother as she warned the child of adults doing things they shouldn't.  As an example, let me tell you this.

 

My sister was such a model parent that she and her husband were featured in an article about being parents of the year.  One son, then age three, was walking with my brother in law in a supermarket soon afterward.  Out of the blue (and when a crowd as around, of course) my nephew said very loudly"...I'll be good!  Please don't beat me again!"  Of course my brother in law had never even spanked him.  That didn't keep him from coming up with the phrase though.

 

You sound as if you would or are a great mother.  How on to your principles and don't be surprised by what kids will say. 

 
April 4, 2007, 12:18 pm CDT

&

Quote From: ljlu7654

My brothers and sisters didn't believe me either when their father raped me. Years later when I asked her, "Aren't you worried about your daughter near your father"...she said, 'Oh he doesn't do that any more"... This is the same "sister" who would call me a liar for all those years. She knew and yet didn't want to know what her father had done to many little girls, including me, and further she told me later, "I asked for it".. ( I was only 5) but now years later she will bet her little baby daughters life on  "he's not doing that any more"??? PLEEASE!

Once a pervert always a pervert and sister or not, a child isn't going to lie. How do you think this child feels knowing the whole world including Dr. Phil on National TV thinks she lied or was put up to do this horrible thing, when he never even spoke to this child?. I believe the child, you just "need" to believe your brothers tears. I feel sorry for you, but if the Mom lets that guy back into the home with that child, then that child must be taken from the house and taken into protective custody, because clearly the Mom would choose her husband over her little girl. Too many Moms do this and ruin an already wounded little spirit!

Your personal story is a sad and tragic one that I have no trouble believing.  It's no wonder you used half your post to relate it.  I simply ask you this.  Do you think a person accused of abusing a child is automatically guilty?  I honestly saw no shred of evidence to back this up.  Regardless of which "side" you believe, we do have things like courts, laws, judges and juries for a reason.  In this case, there was not shred one that would have put this case before a court. 

 

Please don't let your victimization lead you to victimizing others by stripping them of a fair trial.  What your parents did was wrong beyond words.  Their judgment will come.

 
April 4, 2007, 12:23 pm CDT

Victim or Survivor?

 I have been reading through the posts on this show topic.  There are always two sides to everything.  The most important thing is finding out the truth and making sure that either party is either punished or vindicated. 
I am a person who has experience being molested for four years and having my childhood ripped from me.  I don't call myself a victim nor a survivor.  I spend a lot of time talking with a child psychologist to deal with the feelings that I was left with.  This has made me an activist.  I will stand up and tell my story to anyone who cares to listen in hopes that it will open their eyes and ears to hear a child crying out for help.  I am not embarrassed to tell my story, I tell it proudly because I was the innocent one. 
The abuse started when I was nine years old and finally ended when I was 13.  Of course, the usual scenario, it was my step-father.  He did the ususal gain the trust of the child....they start by grooming the child and doing small things.  It then grows into more until well, I am sure you can figure that out.
The day that I was asked about the abuse sticks in my mind.  I watched my mother's heart break and the disapointment on her face that she could not protect me was devastating.  I was extremely scared for my mom and brother's safety once the secret was out.  I was told many times and threatened more than once a day by my stepfather that if I was to tell anyone that we would be killed.  The reason that I believe this is that having a gun held to your head pretty much tells you that it was not a threat.  He was a very ill man. 
After reporting my stepfather to the police and moving out of the house we were pretty much in hiding.  I had to go to school with body guards that the police assigned me.  We did not know what he would do and the police told us to keep our routine as normal as possible.  In 1979 sexual abuse of a minor was not the normal thing that the police department dealt with and of course to speak of it was taboo.  When the day came for me to give a polygraph test, because he refused we learned that he had committed suicide the night before.  He did not die instantly, it was a very slow death.  It was a relief knowing that he was gone and could not hurt me or my family anymore, but also on the other hand I still had to face his family.  Of course I was blamed for him killing himself, but for those family members all I can say is that I forgive them.  I even forgive my step-father.  There is no sense in holding on to the past it will only destory the future.  I do have kids of my own and they do know what happened to me when I was younger.  I tell them so that they are aware and know that it is not right. 
By telling my story I will hopefully save the innocence of at least one child.  Who knows, you could do the same.

 
April 4, 2007, 12:27 pm CDT

04/04 Did He or Didn't He?

Quote From: penny_lady

I think the people who lie about this, the people who make false accusations should be jailed. Making a story like that up is devastating to a persons life. That will follow them forever. That is the kind of lie that you cannot take back.

Not to mention it mocks real sex abuse victims. AND it makes REAL abuse that much harder to detect, and to deal with. Kids who are REALLY being abused will then be treated like liars.

Seriously, people who lie about this have serious emotional problems and I don't think that treatment alone will help. I think someone that sociopathic, that self centered needs to be treated to a little jail time.

Not to mention it mocks real sex abuse victims. AND it makes REAL abuse that much harder to detect, and to deal with. Kids who are REALLY being abused will then be treated like liars.

 

ITA

 
April 4, 2007, 12:49 pm CDT

this is nuts

i think that this family is trying to do the best they can. you have a mother who only wants to make sure that her daughter isn;t going to be touched and parents all around just who care about there family and whats best for everyone. i think that if he didn't do it thats great but if i had a child and they told me someone did something to them i would be in the same position that lady is.
 
April 4, 2007, 12:59 pm CDT

my theory on it

i think that the father of the little girl probably molested her becaye he has all that porno stuff, and then after he did he told her not to tell her mom and if she did to say that the uncle did it to her. thats why he got accused of it. if he was invilved in his childs life then why wasnt he up ion the stage with his wife and  mother in law? i dont know, but that is my theory on it andi just wanted to share.
 
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