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Topic : 04/04 Did He or Didn't He?

Number of Replies: 383
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Created on : Thursday, March 29, 2007, 12:43:09 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
What happens when family members take sides … against each other? Steven Jr. has been accused by his stepmother, Pam, and his stepsister, Tashika, of molesting Tashika's then 3-year-old daughter. Steven Jr. says there's no way he would ever commit such a sick act against a child. His father, Steve, says he believes his son, and the allegations are destroying his marriage and their family. In order to prove his innocence, Steven Jr. agrees to take a polygraph exam. After two hours of testing, will the truth be revealed? Find out the surprising results. And, why does Steven Jr. believe that his family is alleging he committed this crime and turning their backs on him? Will this family get the answers they are looking for and be able to move forward? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 4, 2007, 12:59 pm CDT

God Bless You Steven

The Father most of all ....the step-mother and her daughter...the 3 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.....it so evident that the 2 women are not telling one spec of truth...NOT AT ALL..how they can do this  is just  incredible .....you don't stop taking your child for help because it was inconveint for you...SHAME ON YOU..........SHAME ON ALL 3 OF YOU ......Dr. Phil you are just an amazing man ...As a Mother  I just want to reach out and give Steven a hug. He is suffering  and it is so visible.....God Bless you Steven and your girlfriend  and God Bless Your new Baby ..........Brandi
 
April 4, 2007, 1:10 pm CDT

@

Quote From: beads4you

 I have been reading through the posts on this show topic.  There are always two sides to everything.  The most important thing is finding out the truth and making sure that either party is either punished or vindicated. 
I am a person who has experience being molested for four years and having my childhood ripped from me.  I don't call myself a victim nor a survivor.  I spend a lot of time talking with a child psychologist to deal with the feelings that I was left with.  This has made me an activist.  I will stand up and tell my story to anyone who cares to listen in hopes that it will open their eyes and ears to hear a child crying out for help.  I am not embarrassed to tell my story, I tell it proudly because I was the innocent one. 
The abuse started when I was nine years old and finally ended when I was 13.  Of course, the usual scenario, it was my step-father.  He did the ususal gain the trust of the child....they start by grooming the child and doing small things.  It then grows into more until well, I am sure you can figure that out.
The day that I was asked about the abuse sticks in my mind.  I watched my mother's heart break and the disapointment on her face that she could not protect me was devastating.  I was extremely scared for my mom and brother's safety once the secret was out.  I was told many times and threatened more than once a day by my stepfather that if I was to tell anyone that we would be killed.  The reason that I believe this is that having a gun held to your head pretty much tells you that it was not a threat.  He was a very ill man. 
After reporting my stepfather to the police and moving out of the house we were pretty much in hiding.  I had to go to school with body guards that the police assigned me.  We did not know what he would do and the police told us to keep our routine as normal as possible.  In 1979 sexual abuse of a minor was not the normal thing that the police department dealt with and of course to speak of it was taboo.  When the day came for me to give a polygraph test, because he refused we learned that he had committed suicide the night before.  He did not die instantly, it was a very slow death.  It was a relief knowing that he was gone and could not hurt me or my family anymore, but also on the other hand I still had to face his family.  Of course I was blamed for him killing himself, but for those family members all I can say is that I forgive them.  I even forgive my step-father.  There is no sense in holding on to the past it will only destory the future.  I do have kids of my own and they do know what happened to me when I was younger.  I tell them so that they are aware and know that it is not right. 
By telling my story I will hopefully save the innocence of at least one child.  Who knows, you could do the same.

I am both very pleased you had good counselors and in awe of your courage.  Your decision to not be a victim took tremendous strength.  You also demonstrated great strength of mind in realizing that to cast yourself as a survivor implies you were the victim of something to survive.  You seem to have your head in the right places so good luck and keep on.
 
April 4, 2007, 1:12 pm CDT

??

Quote From: hustlerbaby

i think that this family is trying to do the best they can. you have a mother who only wants to make sure that her daughter isn;t going to be touched and parents all around just who care about there family and whats best for everyone. i think that if he didn't do it thats great but if i had a child and they told me someone did something to them i would be in the same position that lady is.
Would you have stopped the counseling?  This man is labeled for life and she ends the show by basically shrugging her shoulders.  Were I him, I'd sue her for defamation.
 
April 4, 2007, 1:14 pm CDT

04/04 Did He or Didn't He?

Quote From: brandii25

The Father most of all ....the step-mother and her daughter...the 3 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.....it so evident that the 2 women are not telling one spec of truth...NOT AT ALL..how they can do this  is just  incredible .....you don't stop taking your child for help because it was inconveint for you...SHAME ON YOU..........SHAME ON ALL 3 OF YOU ......Dr. Phil you are just an amazing man ...As a Mother  I just want to reach out and give Steven a hug. He is suffering  and it is so visible.....God Bless you Steven and your girlfriend  and God Bless Your new Baby ..........Brandi
Bravo to you Brandi!
 
April 4, 2007, 1:15 pm CDT

And

Quote From: our4sons

Not to mention it mocks real sex abuse victims. AND it makes REAL abuse that much harder to detect, and to deal with. Kids who are REALLY being abused will then be treated like liars.

 

ITA

He is marked for life now.  He should sue the mother for defamation of character.
 
April 4, 2007, 1:18 pm CDT

todays show 4/4/07 steven jr

 Why not polygraph the accuser, if you can do that to an eight year old. My gut is he is innocent.
 
April 4, 2007, 1:18 pm CDT

I'm not convinced

I have been in this situation, as was my sisters. I've seen the tears. I've heard the swears. I've been through the counseling, and in the end of course people sympathized with him. All because he was convincing.  Not to say that is the case here, but i dont feel he provided enough evidence that he didn't to it. He may not of inserted anything inside this little girl, but if he just touched her, how are you supposed to prove that. There must be a reason why this little girl is so distraught when he comes near her. I commend these ladies because my family pretended that it never happened!! Dr. Phil said the women didn't have substantial proof that he did these things, well he doesn't have enough proof that he didn't...So i'm not convinced!

 
April 4, 2007, 1:20 pm CDT

It's OK?

Quote From: sunshine303

I agree with you completely!!!   Things seem rather fishy about the mother though.  And really about this whole story.  But the child is the one anyone should be concerned about.  Not Steven, or the marriage or family.  If this really happened to her she needs all the love and support she can get not family bickering and pitty parties.  And even if this didn't happen to her, she is now involved in something that she might start to believe happened and still need counseling for that too. 

 

This family really need to change their focus either way!!!  Steven Jr needs to quit having a pitty party and move on with life!

He should get on with what life?  He has been labeled a child molester and that will be with him forever.  He should "get on with his life" after he has taken the mother to court and sued her.  The falsely accused have no recourse but they do have the inevitability of being condemned for life even when found innocent.  Of course the child is of prime importance.  However, she is not of SOLE importance.
 
April 4, 2007, 1:23 pm CDT

Take A Course In Basic Logic

Quote From: xxsirenxx

I have been in this situation, as was my sisters. I've seen the tears. I've heard the swears. I've been through the counseling, and in the end of course people sympathized with him. All because he was convincing.  Not to say that is the case here, but i dont feel he provided enough evidence that he didn't to it. He may not of inserted anything inside this little girl, but if he just touched her, how are you supposed to prove that. There must be a reason why this little girl is so distraught when he comes near her. I commend these ladies because my family pretended that it never happened!! Dr. Phil said the women didn't have substantial proof that he did these things, well he doesn't have enough proof that he didn't...So i'm not convinced!

If you do, you will soon find that he CANNOT prove his innocence.  You cannot prove a negative.
 
April 4, 2007, 1:28 pm CDT

This is too complicated for me to be sure one way or the other.

First, the 3 year old named Steven as the abuser. Taken and examined -no evidence found. Therapy was started-but not continued. Mom states that 3 year old was "bottled up and didn't want to talk about it". Grandma says that Mom stated at the time that she didn't have time to take child to therapy. I think that the therapy should have continued-maybe they could have gotten to the bottom of things.There is evidence that 3 year old was actually in the bed while her parents had sex.Mom kind of ignored that and glossed it over. It certainly IMO shouldn't have happened. So five years ago nothing was solved. No one except Steven Jr.'s father and the expectant girlfriend believe that Steven Jr. is innocent.Mom and Grandma are unsure . DrPhil tends to believe that Steven Jr. is not guilty. And there is certainly not enough proof. I just don't know. Why did the child accuse him in the first place? Did someone else suggest it too her. 5 years later it's just too late. I would still err on the side of never letting him be alone with her.And another thing I'd be afraid to take a polygraph even if I was as innocent as a new born babe. I have never been able to completely trust the idea of a polygraph. It has been explained to me that our brain just simply knows certain things about us (our name , etc...) So that when asked something like that, no matter how nervous we are, our brain just reacts in a certain way. If we are asked a question that we know the truth of, and we lie our brain reacts accordingly. I always thought it depended on how nervous we are. I know it would appear to be a sign of guilt to refuse one, but I wouldn't touch a lie detector with a ten foot pole.
 
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