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Topic : 08/02 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

Number of Replies: 269
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, March 29, 2007, 12:45:35 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/06/07) Do you know a happy person who, if crossed, will explode in an instant with uncontrollable rage? Intermittent Explosive Disorder may explain why Dr. Phil's guests suddenly lose their temper, break things and even hurt other people. Carrie lives with constant uncertainty. She says her husband, Bob, can be totally calm one minute and be fist-fighting the next. He yells and curses at her, flips off other drivers and hit another man so hard it knocked his eye out; an act of violence that landed him in prison. Where does Bob's anger come from? After Dr. Phil shows Carrie and Bob a video of a previous guest, will Carrie decide to leave the anger prison she's been living in? Then, Traci says her 17-year-old daughter, Melinda, is tearing their family apart. In a matter of seconds, she can go from being a loving daughter and sibling, to throwing blenders and threatening her sister's life, for no apparent reason. Melinda says she's so full of anger that when she gets upset, she feels like she's going to explode. Do her mother and sister deserve the treatment they're getting, or is there something much deeper underlying Melinda's rage? Tell us what you think!

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April 6, 2007, 1:10 pm CDT

Too close for comfort

Wow I watched the show today and initially was so relieved to see that someone else was married to a man who was just like my husband.  It was like watching two actors play out our story, except my husband doesn't black out.  What scared me was that I never ever believed that my husband would/could ever hurt me, I just wouldn't believe it possible. He gets mad at me and yells and slams doors but never ever shows any physical agression towards me.  I figured I knew all there was to know about physical agression because my first marriage ended with my husband taking me down into the basement ,electrocuting me and beating my head with a hammer, telling me we was going to kill me.  The two men couldn't be more different and hearing that it's possible has put a whole different spin on things for me.  I went to the Lawlis Peavy website and was dismayed at the cost of an assesment.  But my awareness is up and I thank Dr. Phil for doing the show.
 
April 6, 2007, 1:21 pm CDT

Speaking of triggers....

I found myself getting more&more angry listening to this *$#! explain away his aggression. I could have hugged Dr phil when he explained to this guy that he pulls some of his tantrums because he CAN. I was married to a boy like that and he  beat my father to a pulp while I was giving birth. I agree that this wife had better get away. Its not that he wouldn't hurt her, He just hasn't done it YET. As time goes on she will stop looking for excuses and making allowances for this guy.God, I feel sorry for her!
 
April 6, 2007, 1:23 pm CDT

For bob and carrie

  I just saw Bob and Carrie on the show and they compelled me to write a message. I wanted to say that I admire them both for going on the show and allowing America a peek into their lives. I believe Bob does want help with his explosive anger. I could see the little boy who experinced so much pain and it broke my heart. I just wanted to tell Bob that he did not deserve what happened to him as a child. I also lived through a fire and I feel that I lived for a reason and so did you Bob. I believe that by going on the show , you will inspire people, your life has purpose. I wish you well Bob and Carrie. I hope that you work through your anger and begin living the life you were meant to live. Despite life's disappointments and injustices; we all have so much to be thankful for. Best wishes to Bob and Carrie and anyone else who is trying to better their situation. May we all be blessed.
 
April 6, 2007, 1:26 pm CDT

Have her Tested for bipolar disorder

Hi there.....I just wanted to say that I know how it feels to be in Melinda's shoes,"been there, done that" I just wanted to make a suggestion to her parents....have her tested for bipolar disorder....PLEASE!!!!! I suffer from bipolar 1 disoder and I was very out of control. I got very angry at the world and for no apparent reason.....I was the nicest person in the world one minute the next I was a jerk....

   I even threatened to throw my son out a second store window when he was 2 because he was playing with his brother while his brother was in his carseat waiting for me to take them down to the car....it is very scarey when you are in that state of mind.....it feels as though you have been taken over by the devil himself......

  Please , please, please get her checked for bipolar disorder....she can then get the right help that she needs and she will be taught how to control her 'outbursts'.   It saved my life and  has helped me change my life for the better. It has also brought my mother and I closer and my sister and I closer. I feel as though I have the type of relationship with them that I have always wanted.  

  It is worth the time and effort that she is willing to give.

 
April 6, 2007, 1:29 pm CDT

Do I need professional help?

 I am a 30 year old mother of 3 children. I watched the show today and could not take my eyes off the t.v.I saw me! The only difference is that I lash out like that only to my boyfriend. For the longest time I have wondered why I do it. It is a terrible feeling and I can't stop myself. It is like I lose all control. For years I have known that there was something off about the way I think and feel about myself. I have become very good at hiding it from everyone. When I get upset I usually alwys would take it out on myself. I admit I have cut myself. For some reason it makes me feel better. I also will go into a room usually the bathroom and hit myself in the head with my fist. Usually to the point were there is a bruise and a bump. I have told myself that I am crazy and no one will ever want to put up with me so I try to hide it. But now with my boyfriendI get angry. I will yell,scream,swear at him. I call him names and like a little child will tell him I hate him and I will tell him I want him to leave.  As soon as I calm down I see what I have done and I feel terrible which usually brings me to hurt myself. Well just a few days ago I did it again. I went so far as to take a picture off the wall and throw it on the floor. He tried to calm me down but he just ended up leaving and now he won't talk to me. I talked to him once after he left and he told me that there is something wrong with me and I need help. Ofcourse you can imagine how i took that. He said I was unstable. I know he is right. He said he can't deal with me anymore and it is over.  I have texed him and told him we need to talk but he refuses. He will not answer his phone and he told me that he will not talk to me because he is sure that it will turn into a fight. He won't even tell me where he is staying. At this point I know I can't go on like this. By all means I am not saying that he is perfect. Much of why I get angry is because I feel that when I try to talk to him he won't listen. That is when I get so frustrated I lose it. I know that is wrong and my acting that way is not his fault. I have been through a lot and our relationship has been tested many times and we have alwys made it. I love him so much and I see that I am pushing him away. Like Dr Phil said. Kinda, before he hurts me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him. What should I do to get him back?What kind of help should I get. I am afraid to go to the dr because I don't want anyone to know.
 
April 6, 2007, 1:36 pm CDT

So sad when people are like this

  As I was watching the show today, some of it was like watching flashbacks of my life with my younger sister. I'm 28, she is 23. For the past 20 years, my family has lived with her explosive temper and inability to control her emotions.  There were many instances over the years in which my sister physically  and verbally abused almost everyone around her when she was in a rage, and almost anything could set her off. It's no fun when you have to walk around on eggshells in your own house. You start to feel like a slave to your fears, and that's the most awful feeling in the world.

 

  I remember distinctly when I was in high school, I came home one time to find my mother balled up in a corner of our kitchen using her arms to protect herself from the blows my sister was inflicting on her with her fists and feet. Naturally I stepped in to protect my mother, and wound up in a horrible physical brawl with my sister, one of many, many fights.  I found out some hours later that the fight was about my sister wanting to go out, and my mother had told her no.

 

  My sister was in and out of institutions, on and off medications, and none of the Doctor's could tell us exactly what was going on with her.  To this day, she remains the same as the past 20 years. The last straw for me was when we got into a physical fight a few years ago. She was in the back of our family truck with a sledgehammer, breaking stuff to pieces (mostly garbage, I believe it was a load of stuff to go to the dump).  When I walked outside and asked her what was wrong, she turned her anger at me, and came into our garage and started throwing anything she could at me while screaming a stream of profanities. Cans of car wax, tools, aerosal cans (cleaners, bug spray etc).

 

  After that episode, I moved from Connecticut to Virginia with my boyfriend (my husband now), because that was it for me. I decided to cut ties with my sister at that time, and have only spoken to her about 3 times in the past 3-4 yrs, and I only spoke with her because my mother was in the hospital having a knee replacement.  Shortly after, my mother moved to Texas to be near my Aunt.  My sister decided to stay behind in Connecticut, and that's been the best thing that has ever happened to my family. She was not invited to my wedding, and as it stands she will not be invited to any other major events that take place here with my family.

 

  While it is sad that I can't ever have a relationship with my sister, we're all better off without her in our lives. Sometimes when you have someone like that in your life, you just need to cut all ties and be done with it.  I'm sure it won't work for some people, but enabling these aggressive and raging people to continue the behavior just doesn't work, and it doesn't help them at all. I hope to God these girls that were on the show can work it out, and don't have to endure the kind of pain and suffering that my family went through for years. It's not worth it.

 

     And for those of you that are the aggressor, get a grip. The world does NOT revolve around you, and you WILL lose the people you love because it will be you driving them away.

 
April 6, 2007, 1:50 pm CDT

Huh?

Quote From: msitalia

Did you ever think about why your mother acts this way? I am a mother who has the same problem with my children (all over the age 30). In one of these episodes (and the last one)

I found out my children were angry over the fact I was not in their lives when they were growing

up. They were told that I did not care about them, that men and booze was more important than

they were. When they found out the truth of it was, I did care about them. I gave both a large box

of letters, cards, and other correspondance that spanned 20 some years. They learned of a lot of things that prevented us being together as a family.  Today we have a nice small family and we are enjoying each other as well as getting to know each other. Today I have a son and daughter to enjoy along with nine grandchilren ranging from 11 to 8 months. Hopefully before I

die which should be around August 2007 (and hopefully fate will not repeat itself) I will find

another son and daughter and their families to make my family a little larger and re-unite ALL

of my children.

Please clarify what you mean by "hopefully before I die which should be around August 2007...." ???

 

 
April 6, 2007, 1:59 pm CDT

i think it is all crap

i was in a relationship where my boyfriend had a temper. there  was one night i got home later than he felt i should and through his cell phone and hit me in the jaw the whole time my one year old daughter was sitting next to me i was glad that he didn't hit here with it because he through it so hard that i would have killed her then he got up and started punching me on top of the head after about twenty punches he went to the bed room and i ran out of our appartment to the neighbors to call my family when my family and the cops got there  and we went back into the appartment  there was a metal baseball bat laying in the middle of the living room floor  i just started to cry because it scared the hell out of me of where i would be if i had not ran out of the appartment in his statement he said he blacked out and that is what i think is crap because if that was the case then he would not of been so concerned about hitting me were no one could see mark i think men that are like that is nothing but a big pile of dog crap that thinks they smell like roses.

 

sonja goll

 
April 6, 2007, 1:59 pm CDT

Maybe this is me

So I feel like this was me. I have lost my most amazing boyfriend, friends and most importantly my self. I have in the last year become very ugly, mean and heartless. I will tear someone down for no reason and become jealous and crazy. Strangers, friends, family they all get it. Since my boyfriend has well now ex boyfriend has left me I realize more now that  I was doing it.  Ihave become an ugly, destructive person and I am not sure how to get over this or show the people I love that that isn't who I am. I want to get over this and I want my life back. I am very acomplished  but don't think so. I have had bad relationships with almost all the men I have been with and still some how manage to give the next one a chance. My ex said I have showed him two different sides of me and he liked the first side the second side he didn't like so much. How do I show him my friends family and me. That I am a great person and that for some reason thats not me. How do I get them to see it and believe it.

Please help me!?

 
April 6, 2007, 2:02 pm CDT

just don't know what to do

i have a 29 year old daughter who is pregnant with her first baby and unmarried. this was not a planned pregnancy but i am happy about it just the same. however my daughter has just turned from a happy person who was planning on moving in with the babies father and discussing everything with him to a person totaly out of control. now she doesn't love him or wants him around but continues to  call and text him. she gets mad and totaly out of control whenever something is said that she doesn't want to hear which is everything. she has had a temper problem for years and has assaulted people thrown and broken things and general went out of control with her temper. i feel she needs to talk to someone and so does the babies father before this child is born. she said she has no problem. the father is not allowed to talk to me at all and everytime she talks to me she ends up getting upset and cussing and screaming at me. i fear for the child and it is not even here yet.

 
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