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Topic : 08/02 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

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Created on : Thursday, March 29, 2007, 12:45:35 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/06/07) Do you know a happy person who, if crossed, will explode in an instant with uncontrollable rage? Intermittent Explosive Disorder may explain why Dr. Phil's guests suddenly lose their temper, break things and even hurt other people. Carrie lives with constant uncertainty. She says her husband, Bob, can be totally calm one minute and be fist-fighting the next. He yells and curses at her, flips off other drivers and hit another man so hard it knocked his eye out; an act of violence that landed him in prison. Where does Bob's anger come from? After Dr. Phil shows Carrie and Bob a video of a previous guest, will Carrie decide to leave the anger prison she's been living in? Then, Traci says her 17-year-old daughter, Melinda, is tearing their family apart. In a matter of seconds, she can go from being a loving daughter and sibling, to throwing blenders and threatening her sister's life, for no apparent reason. Melinda says she's so full of anger that when she gets upset, she feels like she's going to explode. Do her mother and sister deserve the treatment they're getting, or is there something much deeper underlying Melinda's rage? Tell us what you think!

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April 3, 2007, 8:38 am CDT

04/06 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

Quote From: gwarrior6

Penny, youre absolutely right, though.  The golden rule is a very good principle to live in society by.  I struggle a LOT as a Christian and dealing with my anger issues!  I know i'm supposed to turn the other cheek, I just need help doing it!  Thanks for the St. John's Wort suggestion too, I think I'll experiment with it and some other meds and see what works. 

 

Crazy people (me) need all the help I can get (seriously), I don't care where it comes from- takes more than that to offend!  It never offends me when people offer suggestions, i welcome them.  I hope you can forgive my sluggish responses, I've been horrible about my replies lately.

Oh good..I just wanted to make sure you didn't take offense, that's all . I think we all struggle with this kind of thing, and if you do try the St. Johns Wort give it a few weeks. But it really helped me with being irritable and with my anger.
 
April 3, 2007, 9:01 am CDT

04/06 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

Quote From: rachel3790

My husband is the same way. He will just be setting there doing whatever and just flipped is lid. I never feel physically in danger he has never hit me, never threatened to hit me but it's annoying. I mean just a few days ago we were headed out to lunch just me, him and my daughter. We were all talking nice about things i had seen we should do in the future as an outing. He was really happy. When he went into the bedroom and couldn't find a shirt he wanted to wear. he had either worn them to work and dirtyed them beyond repair or they were wrinkly. He yanked the drawer out and threw it on the floor, got the iron and started ironing and than yanked the cord out the wall and broke the iron. Walked around the house yelling and crusing. Than After a few min. yanked up a shirt and just said 'Ok lets go' and it was over as quick as it started....

But at that point he had scared our daughter and had me kind of shaken up. But all he has to say about it was he was mad about not having a shirt. But what these kind of people don't realize is Normal people don't just get over it like that... We can't just go on our day with out thinking about that epasode. Why couldn't he just say 'Oh i can't find a shirt i want to wear why don't i iron one..' No he's go to show his A** all over the house.

His not controlling his own emotions is relieved by controlling the emotional

air of the home?  He should not be allowed to have that control over the atmosphere of the home?  It does happen that it escalates into much more one day, you need to get

a better emotional handle on this before it gets worse, it almost always does in that kind of emotional problems and yes it is a problem.

What he did was hold back UNTIL he had the opportunity to take control over all of the homes

atmosphere to control to have power over you? That is wrong!

 
April 3, 2007, 10:04 am CDT

gwarrior

Quote From: gwarrior6

My brother was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), and he had a lot of impulse control problems, I wonder if he also had ECD, because of his behavior (cussing out girls in Sunday school, for example). He is on meds for ADHD (Ritalin LA), and it seems to help somewhat, but sometimes his behavior is a little outrageous.  He was also on Lithium and took Haldol with little effect.

 

Do you ever outgrow it, or do you notice if its worse at certain times/situations?  What can I do as a family member to support him?

In my case, I have not out grown my ECD or OCD. I am 37 now.   It does sound like your brother has ECD. Without my meds I have very bad impulse control over my mouth.  I would cuss a total stranger out for just looking at me.  Inside my head I knew I was doing wrong and I felt bad for humiliating another human being but, at the same time I was so angry and my mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.  When I was not in a fit of anger I would walk around feeling like the biggest butthead in the world.

 

I have noticed with counciling that certain situations can set off ECD.  My trigger points are stress and anxiety.  I sometimes sufer from social panic attacks...and if for any reason I feel out of my comfort zone when I leave my home...I have to stop and do deep breathing and remind myself that I am in no danger and to get control of myself.

 

For some people with ECD we can have a panic attack that just appears for no reason but, instead of crying and shaking, ECD people will turn violent and angry.  I know for me a panic attack is very scary and to let other people see my fear just intensifies my panic. So, I react with anger. Anger almost turns into a form of a shield.

 

I take my Paxil daily and I do deep breathing exercises daily. But even with all of this I can still loose control. So I carry a bottle of Vistoril everywhere I go. This drug is a very fast acter. I take one and within 5 minutes I can feel it work. This drug immediatly shuts down my anger and suppress the panic attack.

 

I think you should talk to your brothers Dr. and have him put on the Vistoril as needed.  The drug is non-habit forming and only stays in the body for 3 to 4 hours.  Maybe your brothers Dr. can test him for ECD, Anxiety Disorder and Panic attacks. 

 

ECD is a disorder that usually comes with other disorders also. The problem is with the rage and violence issues it is sometimes hard to see the true root to what is triggering the anger.  I would be willing to bet your brother suffers from Anxiety Disorder also. By treating the Anxiety your brother will get his anger under control.

 

I do hope this was helpfull. And if you have any more questions please ask me.  I know how hard it is for a family member to try and be understanding when someone you love is acting so hatefull sometimes.

 
April 3, 2007, 1:06 pm CDT

Thank you!

Quote From: ohdang13

In my case, I have not out grown my ECD or OCD. I am 37 now.   It does sound like your brother has ECD. Without my meds I have very bad impulse control over my mouth.  I would cuss a total stranger out for just looking at me.  Inside my head I knew I was doing wrong and I felt bad for humiliating another human being but, at the same time I was so angry and my mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.  When I was not in a fit of anger I would walk around feeling like the biggest butthead in the world.

 

I have noticed with counciling that certain situations can set off ECD.  My trigger points are stress and anxiety.  I sometimes sufer from social panic attacks...and if for any reason I feel out of my comfort zone when I leave my home...I have to stop and do deep breathing and remind myself that I am in no danger and to get control of myself.

 

For some people with ECD we can have a panic attack that just appears for no reason but, instead of crying and shaking, ECD people will turn violent and angry.  I know for me a panic attack is very scary and to let other people see my fear just intensifies my panic. So, I react with anger. Anger almost turns into a form of a shield.

 

I take my Paxil daily and I do deep breathing exercises daily. But even with all of this I can still loose control. So I carry a bottle of Vistoril everywhere I go. This drug is a very fast acter. I take one and within 5 minutes I can feel it work. This drug immediatly shuts down my anger and suppress the panic attack.

 

I think you should talk to your brothers Dr. and have him put on the Vistoril as needed.  The drug is non-habit forming and only stays in the body for 3 to 4 hours.  Maybe your brothers Dr. can test him for ECD, Anxiety Disorder and Panic attacks. 

 

ECD is a disorder that usually comes with other disorders also. The problem is with the rage and violence issues it is sometimes hard to see the true root to what is triggering the anger.  I would be willing to bet your brother suffers from Anxiety Disorder also. By treating the Anxiety your brother will get his anger under control.

 

I do hope this was helpfull. And if you have any more questions please ask me.  I know how hard it is for a family member to try and be understanding when someone you love is acting so hatefull sometimes.

That does help, more than you know.  He always had problems and people labeled him a "bad" kid or "demon child" because they couldn't understand why he behaved the way he did. 

 

 We do have a family history of anxiety disorders, so instead of getting physically ill, he gets angry.  I think he's had this for a long time and no one knew about it.  I'll definitely ask about getting him tested for ECD (also anxiety/depression), the Paxil, the Vistoril, and the breathing exercises.

 

It's great that someone knows what it's like to have it and how to help other people.  It helps to get the POV of someone with ECD, how its treated, what the triggers are and what they need support-wise.  I wonder if their are any support groups for people with ECD, or if they even help that much.  Anyway, thanks again!

 
April 3, 2007, 10:51 pm CDT

Your so welcome :)

Quote From: gwarrior6

That does help, more than you know.  He always had problems and people labeled him a "bad" kid or "demon child" because they couldn't understand why he behaved the way he did. 

 

 We do have a family history of anxiety disorders, so instead of getting physically ill, he gets angry.  I think he's had this for a long time and no one knew about it.  I'll definitely ask about getting him tested for ECD (also anxiety/depression), the Paxil, the Vistoril, and the breathing exercises.

 

It's great that someone knows what it's like to have it and how to help other people.  It helps to get the POV of someone with ECD, how its treated, what the triggers are and what they need support-wise.  I wonder if their are any support groups for people with ECD, or if they even help that much.  Anyway, thanks again!

I am glad I could help to give you some peice of mind.   I have not heard of any support groups but, of course that does not mean they are not out there.  Not to make light of this topic...but I can just picture an ECD support group. So many people in one room with explosive anger ...wow, talk about interesting situations that could develop...lol.  I don't mean to make light of this...but it helps me to try and find some humor in my disorder if I can.

 

I am crossing my fingers and will be thinking of you and your brother. I hope everything works out! Good Luck!

 
April 3, 2007, 11:05 pm CDT

oops

Quote From: gwarrior6

I went to Starbucks this morning, and there was a line, so I took my place behind this hippie-ish lady, dressed up.  I didn't think it was necessary to dress up to go get breakfast, and she SNEERED at me!  Plus she was RUDE to me at the cashiers desk.  This infuriated me oourthn more than one level. 
First of all, youre a neo-hippie, you believe in free-expression, don't judge a book by its cover, blah, blah, blah.  Yet, here you are looking DOWN on ME, which basically makes you a hypocrite.

 

Second, I've got a massive dose of PMS, so i'm not taking crap off anyone!

 

Third, it's my day off, and I'll be darned if I'm judged by ANYONE!  I'll do what I want, and if she sticks up her snooty nose, she can kiss my pasty butt, because I don't care!

 

Fourth, I'm tired, and hungry, and all i want is my friggin' coffee and muffin, and i don't want to interact when i'm just getting sustenance...so go back to your commune and leave me alone!

My oldest daughter has the same problem. We can go to the same place, see the same people, and she thinks someone has given her an ugly look. She says. Did you see the way that B.... looked at me? I say no. Who? She proceeds to point out  the person that was suppost to have given her the look.

I never saw this person give any kind of look to anyone, but  my daughter did.

I told her not to be so sensitive. Looks don't hurt you.

 

 
April 4, 2007, 6:54 am CDT

I went to drdonnica-a great website!

Quote From: gwarrior6

Here's some more info on alternatives to Estrogen therapy.

 

http://health.yahoo.com/ate/drweil/alldaily/2005/07/20050712

 

http://www.drdonnica.com/articles/00000045-002.htm

 

 

It was suggested that black cohosh is a good thing to try as an alternative. I'm gonna check to make sure I can take it along with my other medications. Thanks again.
 
April 4, 2007, 9:02 pm CDT

04/06 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

  I just watched Dr. Phil in Australia (I'm in Australia NOT Dr. Phil) the show about the mother beating and kicking and swearing at her children, and I couldn't find the right topic to post to But this topic is pretty close  (I know, stu-pid with a capital PID).

  I wanted to say to the kids (forgot your names I'm sorry :(  ), that you are not alone, I went through the same thing with my mother, she told me she hated me often, whipped me with an old cord she cut off an iron, holding one arm so I couldn't get away,  until the blood ran down my legs, she attacked me with anything in reach.  When I was 13 I got too big to hit, so she told the police I was an uncontrollable child and made them send me to reform school.

  All of my life I kept going back home to show my mother I "was good enough to love" (She said often that I woukld never be good enough.), and I never was.

  A few years ago she died, and for the first time in my life I feel I can now hate her.  All of those years spent hanging on to the thought that she "really" loved me somewhere, deep down, and she never did.

  There was no Dr. Phil then, in fact the one psychiatrist I told about my mother said "It's all your 'mother's' fault now is it?"  with the UTMOST SARCASM on the word 'mother's'.

  I was never allowed to have friends, and any I made at school, my mother scared away by telling stories about me and how bad and untrustworthy, etc  I was.  Over the years I became a total recluse, I can't trust the world and do not know how to reach out (even to a publisher to try and get my books published).

  What I'd like to say to the kids is, no matter how strong you are, how many times you keep standing up after being knocked down, that you need professional help to recover inside from such damage, and hope you do not find a psychiatrist like mine  :)  Don't start hiding in your room with the door locked to escape the hate and abuse, don't pull deep inside yourself, because one day you might find that you are lost and cannot come back out again.

  I wrote to Dr. Phil once about getting help to get my books published, but he never replied.  I guess I asked him all wrong, that happens when I try to reach out.  :) 

  Keep well kids, Dr. Phil will find you good people to help and one day you will have kids of your own, and can love the hell out of them  :)

 

  Steel

 
April 5, 2007, 7:07 am CDT

Been there

This sounds just like my husband. My daughter (his step-daughter) was 11 when she was diagnosed with ODD. She was then diagnosed when she was 14 with bipolar disorder. We have both gone through the same things with her(throwing things, getting mad for no reason at the drop of a hat, etc). She is now 19 and living with her boyfriend and has a good job. So now that she is no longer at home, I am dealing with him. He blames me for all the things that have happened over the years. He tells me if I had been a better parent that things would have not gotten so out of hand. I am at my breaking point. I am so tired of trying to justify myself to him. A couple of years ago I got very depressed to the point that I wanted to just drive off a bridge. Instead of doing that, I decided to go to a mental health facility here in Dallas for some help. I called my husband at work to tell him what I was doing and asked him to call my parents. Well after he called them, they called my sister, whom I had been confiding in. She in turn called my husband on his cell phone and pretty much told him off and gave him a cusssing out and blamed him for my depression. I know she should have not done this, but I know she was upset  and vented to him. This was almost 3 years ago. Now he thinks she should appologize to him for what happened that day. I have told her how upset he is over this and she tells me she was upset too. He is constantly on me to "fix things" between them. I think he needs to get over it and move on, but won't. It has gotten to the point that he no longer shows any kind of affection towards me whatsoever. I feel so beaten down emotionaly.
 
April 5, 2007, 8:02 am CDT

Dirty Looks !

Quote From: prpldjeep

My oldest daughter has the same problem. We can go to the same place, see the same people, and she thinks someone has given her an ugly look. She says. Did you see the way that B.... looked at me? I say no. Who? She proceeds to point out  the person that was suppost to have given her the look.

I never saw this person give any kind of look to anyone, but  my daughter did.

I told her not to be so sensitive. Looks don't hurt you.

 

 Yes, i have the same problem with my eldest daughter, she too says that people have given her a dirty look, or an ugly look and I just shrug my shoulders and try not to make a big thing of it. It does worry me at times, as i know she does have an explosive anger. I know she sometimes is jealous of people who are better off than she is. I know she always liked the best of things. Deep down inside she's so frightened of what people think of her that she uses her aggressiveness to cover for her lack of self-esteem and i know she suffers from anxiety really bad, like me her mother. I know deep down she's a scared, insecure little girl still, even though she's nearly 27 and has two children.  So be gentle with your daughter and I'm sure that what is happening outside, has to do with something deeper inside. Just love, counsel and support her.

 

Sincerely,

 

Lory(Australia)  

 
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