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Topic : 08/02 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

Number of Replies: 269
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Created on : Thursday, March 29, 2007, 12:45:35 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/06/07) Do you know a happy person who, if crossed, will explode in an instant with uncontrollable rage? Intermittent Explosive Disorder may explain why Dr. Phil's guests suddenly lose their temper, break things and even hurt other people. Carrie lives with constant uncertainty. She says her husband, Bob, can be totally calm one minute and be fist-fighting the next. He yells and curses at her, flips off other drivers and hit another man so hard it knocked his eye out; an act of violence that landed him in prison. Where does Bob's anger come from? After Dr. Phil shows Carrie and Bob a video of a previous guest, will Carrie decide to leave the anger prison she's been living in? Then, Traci says her 17-year-old daughter, Melinda, is tearing their family apart. In a matter of seconds, she can go from being a loving daughter and sibling, to throwing blenders and threatening her sister's life, for no apparent reason. Melinda says she's so full of anger that when she gets upset, she feels like she's going to explode. Do her mother and sister deserve the treatment they're getting, or is there something much deeper underlying Melinda's rage? Tell us what you think!

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August 2, 2007, 2:40 pm CDT

Carrie

I can totally identify with Carrie.  My husband also has angry outbursts that makes me very uncomfortable.  He is also wound so tight that one day I fear he will really snap.  Sometimes, he even says that he is looking for someone to get in a fight with just so he can "get it out of his system" (this usually happens when he's been drinking).  He acknowledges that he has an anger problem and also says that he would never hurt me physically.   I used to believe him, but after watching this show, I'm not so sure anymore.  He refuses to go to counseling.  I'm not sure what to do now myself.  I have been thinking about leaving him. 
 
August 2, 2007, 2:58 pm CDT

Explosive Anger/ Was married to one/ what to do?

I used to be married to a person like this.  I did not know what to do.  We were married three months when I found out who he really was.  We dated for 3 years and I saw no sign.  He tried to run me over with his call. I had to get out after that.  But now that i am out, he won't leave me alone.  What can I do?
 
August 2, 2007, 2:59 pm CDT

YOUR SURE NOT ALONE

Quote From: bon2bon2

My brother is going to be 30 yrs old in Jan. He can be the sweetest most loving/caring person...but he has a terrifying dark side. We went through a rough divorce at a young age and had some rough times growing up. My mother suffered from alcoholism, my father did drugs and was hardly around for sometime, we lost our house and everything in it. For years my family has been trying to pick up the pieces, and my parents did turn around quickly and considering all that has happened over the years we are all doing well, except my brother. His anger has been around since he was a child and shows no signs of ending. Most times he has good reason to be upset, however, the way in which he expresses it is unacceptable. He goes into a rage and becomes extremely aggressive. He usually breaks things and threatens. He physically threw my uncle out of his own house a few years ago, broke his hand twice within the same year from punching a door, broke my grandmother's arm when he was a teenager, and hurled a rock at my car (he wasn't even mad at me!...He was mad a someone else!) The list goes on and on. He does show signs of remorse...he knows he did something wrong but he will never try to remedy the problem, apologize, or discuss it. I am especially more concerned now than ever since he recently got a DUI (during which he called left a message on my phone saying that he was angry and running red lights and he would likely kill himself or someone else...b/c he got into an argument with he girlfriend about which bar they were going to). BTW...he miraculously got the DUI charges dropped by getting himself a good lawyer. He works for my uncle and has been calling out of work last minute, leaving him high and dry, frequently....it seems my family is still allowing him to get away with behaving in was that are disrespectful and unacceptable. My uncle is not the only one who allows him to get away with things like this. He also shows signs of drug/alcohol abuse. I know he smokes pot daily (since he was a teen, when he drinks its as much as he can, as fast as he can (a time bomb...he flips out even when he is sober!), and now we suspect cocaine. He currently lives rent free in my uncle's house...makes about $1,000/wk, only has a cell phone, no car and still has to borrow money from people. Something is horribly wrong here. I love my brother dearly and want him to get help. My fam acknowledges that he has a problem but will not take action to help. He and I used to be close but lately my fiance and I avoid him...we don't want to be around him and we don't trust him. I have been thinking about a family intervention...I don't know if they're up for it. I can't sit by and watch him self destruct, I refuse to enable him, but I feel helpless to do anything to help. He needs help, he WILL end up hurting himself or someone else. I don't know where to begin! Help me! I want my loving brother back!!!
  I can not tell you how much your brother and my grandson are alike, you feel as if you have to be the only one in the world with someone like this. my grandson is only 22 and already like your brother. every one in my family loans him money knowing he'll never give it back ,he is always late for work and somehow gets by with it .he kicked a large dent in the side of his sister's car because he was mad at his girlfriend and the only reason his sister was there was that he had called her to come and get him and that was the thanks she got.I say when he's good he's like an angel ,nice,kind, loving,but when he's. bad he is the devil himself.after he gets mad and he is all over it ,he thinks everyone he cussed, everyone he hit, everyone he used should somehow just let it go not bring it up again [ poor daniel no one loves or ever loved him and no one understands that the world owes him everthing his heart wants but he owes nothing to anyone or anything so feel sorry for poor daniel and let him use you,abuse you, and take advantage of you ,because i am daniel and if don't you don't love me and never did] intervention no my family would just be afraid it would piss him off and they would have to stop answering their phone again until you say answer the phone it me it's not daniel calling you from my house.                                                           Good luck, Not even Dr. Phil could help me               
 
August 2, 2007, 3:17 pm CDT

very affective show

I am only 18 years of age, but am very angry and can blow just like that. I have had years of couseling, nothing has helped...I'm always afraid that people around me are going to leave me once i have an episode... I have no clue of what I am so angry about and wish to have someone to relate this too... it's hard for people to udnerstand...My boyfriend has been there and I appreciate it...But my family has all gone away.... I just want someone to talk to who understands and who can help... This show has helped to open my eyes a little more and see what I;m doing to my family... Its time to make some changes...Thanks
 
August 2, 2007, 3:23 pm CDT

Is this me?

 I am so affraid that others see this in me.  I am so quick to blow but why?  I think I know why at the time but to hear my mother i just have issues.  This show today makes me wonder as a mother if I am in need of a medical check? My son just said NO MOM YOU ARE NORMAL??? Whats the difference of what I recognized today and what my child says obviously that he has seen and identifys as normal?  I am confused.
 
August 2, 2007, 3:32 pm CDT

Hubby has this problem

My hubby has this problem.  We dated for three months and then had a long distance relationship for 6 months after that.  When we first dated, he was nothing like this at all.  As soon as I left to start my job, he became more controlling and so angry whenever I had other plans or didn't pick up the phone fast enough when he called. Mind you I was in Germany and he was back here so he couldn't really do anything physically to me for as he says "pissing him off so much."  I came back because he said he changed and he's trying I know.  But he's in the Army, so most guys are trained to be like that guy on the show.  "To kill or be killed" mentality.  How do I do deal with that????  I feel guilty for pointing out his excessive anger to the littlest things, but at the same time, I FEEL guilty because I feel like I'm taking away some of his "protection" for when he goes back to Iraq. And if anything happens to him, I know I would blame myself for that.  I also fear what he will be like when he comes back.  It's been 2 years since he was there and it's been this long for him to acknowledge he has some issues with anger.  He constantly tests me and I know he is selfish. But the thing is he wasn't like this when we dated.  It's like as soon as we got married, the REAL him came out and now I have no idea what to do. 
 
August 2, 2007, 3:40 pm CDT

08/02 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

Quote From: carrie_s

And that is the difference between typical emotions and true disorders.  I am Carrie from the show.  Having witnessed Bob's struggles for so long, I can attest to the fact that this was behavior over which he did not have control no matter how badly he wanted to.  The guilt and frustration further compounded the issue.  Thankfully, I can report that things are better now.  It has taken a lot of focus and help from the PNP center for Bob to confront and change his ways.  Life is not perfect, but we are grateful that there are people out there who recognized, related to, and assisted with his turnaround.

Hi Carrie,

Thank you for giving the board an update.  It is always nice to know what happened after the show.  I pray for you that things will continue upward.

I was married to a man who has explosive anger issues.  I took the kids and left.  I reached the point "not one more day, one more hour, one more minute".  I felt that I beat my head against wall quite enough.  He was an abused child and his demons will never go away without his willingness to work hard through it.

I ended up getting an order of protection, court ordered anger management and am in the process of divorce.  Unfortunately, he does not feel he needs the anger management and has postponed attending even the orientation repeatedly.  I have spoken with his counselor and she feels it may not help him as he doesn't feel he needs it.  He does, however, eventually have to attend per the courts.

Long story short, I am so happy your husband was receptive to getting help. He should be proud of himself that he is taking steps toward recovery and be very thankful you are standing by him.  It takes a lot of courage to go on national television and tell your story.  Kudos to both of you and much blessings.

 
August 2, 2007, 3:48 pm CDT

08/02 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

Quote From: stcyrw

I used to be married to a person like this.  I did not know what to do.  We were married three months when I found out who he really was.  We dated for 3 years and I saw no sign.  He tried to run me over with his call. I had to get out after that.  But now that i am out, he won't leave me alone.  What can I do?

Please get an order of protection.  True, it is just a piece of paper, but it is a step forward for you to take charge.   There are so many free agenices available to you.  Go on the web and look under domestic violence.  You may find help that is close by.  Believe me, I was in a horrible angry marriage for way too long.  You can't change him, but you can work on yourself so you won't find yourself in this position again.

Best of luck to you and take care.

 
August 2, 2007, 4:11 pm CDT

My Sister

The second story on this show is my sister in a nutshell! She is the most loving person you could find one minute and two minutes later she is screaming, cussing and slamming doors. As I was watching this show she is the first person that popped up in my head. It was amazing how much of a resemblance in attitude she and this girl have. It is very frustrating...especially when she is staying in my home.
 
August 2, 2007, 4:14 pm CDT

I already Have

Quote From: capecutie

Please get an order of protection.  True, it is just a piece of paper, but it is a step forward for you to take charge.   There are so many free agenices available to you.  Go on the web and look under domestic violence.  You may find help that is close by.  Believe me, I was in a horrible angry marriage for way too long.  You can't change him, but you can work on yourself so you won't find yourself in this position again.

Best of luck to you and take care.

Thanks.  I already been down that road.  He was deported but still contacting from Overseeas.  He pomise to make things right, because he was deported.  Thanks.  I try to block my number and even change it but he still get it anyway.  aI don't response to his messages and that brings on more anger. 
 
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