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Topic : 08/13 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

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Created on : Friday, April 06, 2007, 11:30:39 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/09/07) Two-and-a-half years ago, Cat and Todd left their 6-year-old daughter, Grace, with Todd’s parents for the night. Little did they know, it would be the night that changed their family forever. Grace’s grandfather, Steve, molested her, and after Grace told her grandmother, Ann, about it, Ann failed to report it. After confronting Todd’s parents, Cat and Todd pressed charges. Steve served eight months in jail and is now a registered sex offender. Neither he nor Ann has seen Cat, Todd or their grandchildren in over two years, but they desperately want to put their family back together. Steve says he’s ready to do what he can to heal his family, but Todd and Cat are not convinced. What does Steve say is his reason for stealing Grace's innocence? Dr. Phil meets with the grandparents and gets to the truth of what really happened, while Todd and Cat watch from behind a two-way mirror. Will the unvarnished truth be too much for them to handle? Can this fractured family ever heal and move on? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More August 2007 Show Boards.


 
pms1974
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April 9, 2007, 8:01 pm PDT

I could never forgive

A couple of years ago my niece(3 1/2 yrs. old at the time) came out and said papa touched her private area(a scratch was in the vagina area); my sister didn't take her to the doctor/hospital(she was in denial our father could do such a thing) instead she talk with our mom and she didn't want her to say a word to us others but she told me(I have 2 girls which my youngest  almost 7 at the time finally came out and said to me she had been touch by papa too) My older sister which is my half sister(we have different dads) said she was a victim of his too and kept this a secret for years thinking because she was his step child.  I reported him to the police and they treated us like we were the crimal.  They brought him and my mom(which she was aware of my sister being molested) in for questioning and he walk. This tore my family apart.  When my sister finally reported my nieces case to the police they told her nothing will be done because my niece is under 6yrs old and it would not stand in court.  My daughter wasn't detailed enough. This just shows me how these perverts can walk free.  I can never forgive my father for what he's done.  I keep telling myself one day he will pay. I show my girls they are the most important thing in my life.  My mom made her choice and  is standing by my dad's side even though she knows.  My parents will NEVER be in our life again. 
 
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maxxdmom
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April 9, 2007, 8:03 pm PDT

Hard Candy...

 

Thats a title to a movie I seen recently and well the grandparents need a piece.

 
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isabelccruz
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April 9, 2007, 8:04 pm PDT

Heated!

I cannot believe this peice of filth! He molested his own granddaughter and he is not even the least bit apologetic. I am a mother to an 8mth old little girl and if anyone ever hurt her I  do not know what I would do.  But what disgusts me is that the grandmother can touch him. how can she hold his hand when those same hands violated that precious little girl? and how can Grace's father feel sorry even a little bit for that sick perverted son of a b****? He deserves alot more jail time than he got because I don't believe there are second chances for monsters who hurt children and I don't think he or the grandmother have the right to EVER see that little girl again. However that is Grace's choice. The whole time I was watching this show I could just feel the steam coming out of my ears!
 
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tjllockwood
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April 9, 2007, 8:06 pm PDT

i think what he did, he should be hung for!!

i watched todays show & felt so discussed again. i don't think i will ever understand why these woman with these filthy, disgusting men, don't ever seem to get it, they act like, oh well it's OK no big deal, they act as if this awful thing that happened, is like bringing dirt home & tracking it all over the place, as if it is so easy to clean it up.

i was molested  for most of my young life, from about age 5 or 6, until i ran away at almost 18yrs old. it was by various men in my mothers life, she never cared, just as long as i was out of her way & she was getting what she wanted. i was told for years that it was my fault & that they only wanted me for one thing. most of the time she would walk right in on it & i would be put on restriction & the two of them would act like nothing happened at all & would go out & go shopping or something, while i was left in my room to think about what had just happened. i am now 38yrs old & still have problems to this day with it all. there is still hope. 

grace will forever be in my prayers.

very sad, here in Oregon.
 
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vickey
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April 9, 2007, 8:06 pm PDT

04/09 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

I fill so bad for this little girl. It's not only hurting her now, it will always hurt. Those so called "grandparents" should still be in jail, the both of them. They don't have the right to hold the title "grandparents".  I was molested from the age 5 to 16, and I had a family member hide it. I'm still fighting with it everyday. My heart and prayers go out to you "grace".
 
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castingcrowns
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April 9, 2007, 8:10 pm PDT

No SORRY will heal what has been done!

Quote From: citykid58

This show was painful to watch. My daughter was molested as a child and has been an emotional mess all her adult life.  I never wanted to know any details and don't know what good it would do me to know now. I don't know if I've done the right thing or not.  I have always tried to be there for her and 'help' her but that is mostly financial and listening but I even put limits on what we talk about.  Every once in a while, she'll ask me how old he was, and then say he should have known better.  I agree but there is nothing I can do.  He has even had more children, all boys, and she's said God will never let him have another girl cause he can't take care of one.  This all happened 30 years ago! Would his apologizing help after all these years? I know where he is but am not in contact with him. Counseling is out because it just costs too much and I don't have that kind of money! Please let me know -- is it too late for an apology and would that help her get on with her life? A Concerned Mom
She might get a "sorry", but she probably won't!  She needs to understand that he was wrong and nothing can "fix" the wrong that was done, all she can do is deal with the broken pieces.  Not allowing what he has done to continually traumatize will be her biggest task and she will just have to learn little bit by bit how much she can handle to work through.  I don't think the sorry human could say anything that would make her pain significantly less.  That's just my opinion, a molested child survivor, if there is such a thing.
 
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ienglish
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April 9, 2007, 8:11 pm PDT

It Was Never YOUR Fault

Quote From: jms1980

I am Grace, the only difference is that it was not a grandfather who molested me, but my stepfather. My mother did as this grandmother did, I was destroyed, raped, and still fight my inner darkness. This show is helping me so much to know this was not my fault.

 

J

Dearest J,

It was NEVER your  fault!!!! I don't care how old you were or are now!!!  It  was NEVER, EVER, EVER, your fault!!!!
I was date raped at age 19 and tried to pretend/justify what happened to me for YEARS. It  wasn't until years after my oldest son was born and then molested by his own father that I had to deal with BOTH. Everything I had financially, emotionally and physically went into defending my child.
It did take more time and all than I would have liked but I DID stand up to the wretch and GOD HAD and STILL HAS my back!!!!!!!! My prayers and strength are with you!!!!!!  IE
 
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kimb1971
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April 9, 2007, 8:19 pm PDT

OMG I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE THE GRANDFATHER

I CAN'T  EVEN BEGIN TO KNOW WHAT THAT CHILD IS GOING THREW...FIRST SHE GOT LET DOWN FROM HER SO CALLED CREEP GRANDFATHER..THEN FROM HER GRANDMOTHER...ALL I KNOW IS SHE MUST HATE THE MAN AND NO ONE WILL BLAME HER AT ALL

 

IT'S NOT HER FAULT AND I HOPE SHE NEVER THINKS IT IS....I FEEL FOR GRACE

MY PRAYERS ARE WITH HER
 
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bluhrig
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April 9, 2007, 8:25 pm PDT

Was the child's father abused, too?

Quote From: fixinit

 What the hell ?  My husband and I are sitting here absolutely speechless !  Angry as hell too!  Are these so-called grandparents missing something?  Like morals, decency and integrity?  I have witnessed more emotion on a houseplant !  The apple hasn't fallen too far, the son seems to be lacking the same. They (so-called grandparents) sit there so casual and removed as if what they did required only a band-aid.  I wanted to turn the televison off but I could not turn away.  This little girl will feel the aftershock of this horrible event for the rest of her life!  He got one year in PRISON (yes grammaw, PRISON, not just "away") and Grace gets LIFE in her own prison.  I take exception that this creep was allowd to wear make-up.  To protect who?  I say expose him for the predator that he is, so that every parent will recognize him and save thier own children.  CAT, DO NOT TAKE YOUR EYES OFF OF THIS CHILD!
My husband, who is not a Dr. Phil watcher, was so enraged by this story, he stayed for the entire hour.  The child's father's face had as little expression as his mother's did until right at the end.  It made me wonder if he had been abused by one of his parents, too, or raised to suppress all emotion.  We decided that CAT should divorce her husband and move away, change her name and stay away from all three of them.  Grace certainly needs counseling but by someone recommended by Dr. Phil.  If Grandpa had 2 years of counseling, that is one very ineffective counselor.   If he found Christ though a church, his pastor should have spoken to him about personal responsibility as well.  People who believe in no God at all can be moral.  Those grandparents are the most amoral people I have ever seen in my 65 years.  Without morals.  Sociopaths?  Grace is lucky to have such a caring, intelligent, insightful mother.  Her mother will be the one who helps her get through this and not let it blight any more of her life.  How grandma can hold the hand with the finger that invaded her granddaughter is totally beyond me.  Grandpa's comments made me want to vomit and he is not my husband, not my child's father, not my grandchild's grandparent.  Can't she see that if a stranger has more compassion for her child and grandchild than she has, something must be wrong with her?  CAT needs to see how her husband reacts in the interview with his parents and judge his ability to parent Grace.  She needs to see him for what he is just as grandma needs to see grandpa clearly.
 
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sunflowrgrl
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April 9, 2007, 8:33 pm PDT

why ? did this have to happen!

 i just finished watching todays episode of Dr. Phil and I am physically ill! I had to get up and leave the room a couple of times. I don't know how her parents just stood there while the man that molested their precious baby girl spewed such filth and lies. I wanted to go thru the tv and choke him. I am soooo sorry for Grace! Absolutely no one should ever have to go thru such a vile intrusion. It is so unfair that her innocence and the blind trust and faith a child has in the world has been destroyed. No matter what kind of counseling or healing she gets or does she will never regain that innocence and i don't know how anyone could say she will. Why is it that this man who committed one of the most disgusting and heartbreaking crimes only did 8mths in jail? How is he free to commit the same crime with some other innocent chile and what in the hell is wrong with his wife?!!!!! That woman needs to be in prison right along side the molester for helping cover it up and for still being too stupid to see what a horrible thing he has done. She can't possibly really truly think that she deserves a relationship with her grandaughter ? Sorry Dr.Phil i don't agree with you on that one. I think Graces' parents should keep her as far away from them 2 sickos as possible. It just breaks my heart that Grace had to go thru that and will be dealing with it for the rest of her life. I have a 5yr old and 19mth old daughter and the thought of someone touching them or making them do "acts" with them makes me want to scream !!! I don't think i'm naive but this episode really opened my eys to the fact that I need to sit down and talk with my children about this and what to do if they are ever in this situation. I almost cried when Dr.Phil read what Grace had said about continuing to "touch" grampa because she didn't want to be rude. Please....talk to your children ..make yourself accessible...believe in your children...and pay close attention to what they are telling you.

 
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