Topic : 08/13 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

...adding to my two previous messages

     I have been reading most of your messages and have been touched by all...I wish to say to everyone who has been through this trauma I feel very badly that you have had this experience. I say that because most of us never hear those words, from anyone. It is often something that you deal with alone. Know that you are not alone, and find a safe outlet and talk...Incest festers in silence...so speak and break the cycle.

     After reading, one message keeps coming back to mind. Someone said the only contact the grandparents should have is the money they send to pay for their grand daughters therapy bills. I agree. I would definately sue. If they get very little time in jail, if any...maybe civil lawsuit damages will be the only, or added message of punishment.

     I have read many books on the subject of incest...on my road to self healing. I wanted to share an excellent book to those who think it would benefit. SECRET SURVIVORS, Uncovering incest and it's aftereffects in women. By E. Sue Blume. I strongly recomend Grace's parents read it, as a knowledge base for their childs future. I strongly recomend Grace's grandparents be forced to read it. When they see all the affects that can arise in the future and the life long lasting possibilities of the massive damage that they have done and are continuing to do... maybe the guilt will be correctly placed onto them where it should be. Instead of them trying to guilt/blame everyone/everything else.

     What also came to mind was the biblical story of the wise King Solomen. The one where two women came before him and both claimed the baby was theirs. King Solomen said cut the baby in half. The real mother screamed no, let her have the baby. King Solomen then knew she was the real mother. I feel that if the grandparents really loved their grand daughter and realized how much damage and pain they caused/cause her, not to mention their own son, his wife, and the other grandchild involved...and possibly future great grand children (because incest is often  generational affecting) they would let them go...and instead of grandma wanting to see her grand child...she should be demanding and insisting not to. I know that if I knew I had/do/did something that would possibly infect/affect another person that severely I would not permit anyone to come near me to risk the danger. Especially my child/grandchild. I would let them go...like the real mother in the King Solomen story. In my eyes, as long as the Grandmother and Grandfather are looking for a relationship of any sort they still don't have Grace's best interest in heart, don't have a clue, and just plain don't get it.

     With incest, often the person who does not react properly to being told of it...in this case Grandma...does more damage emotionally. When Grandma allys herself in any form with the perpetrator, she is just magnifying the damage. She is showing by example to Grace and everyone else that this is ok. I hope Dr. Phil asks Grandma why she chooses to stay with a felon. A man who cheated on her with a 6 year old, against her will. A man who hurt her grand child and her family so badly it is totally blown up. She is the epitomy of a dependant weak manipulated woman.

     Grace's mom is the only one in the family that totally gets it. The only one who is showing Grace true love. I believe Grace's Dad is just in shock, and with some help will be totally on the right path. Grace's Dad is like a deer in your cars headlights. It either fights, flights or freezes. He is frozen. Snap out of it Dad quickly...for Grace's sake, your wife's sake and your other childs sake. They have already had a bad example of a male role model...they need you to step up to the plate...Grace is watching the example you are setting.

     I wonder if Grace's other grandparents are in the picture, or if there are other siblings of Grace's parents??? If they are supportive? I firmly believe that anyone who allys themselves with the Grandfather should be out of the picture. A clear message should be sent.

     My prayers are with this Grace and all of the Graces out there.

I just want to say how sad it is to be reading these boards and see story after story of abuse.  It is obviously a huge problem in this country. 

I hope and pray that this child and all the others on this board are getting or can get the help they need to heal. 

21  ¶ Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  till seven times?

22  Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

I was molested as a child by my grandfather on my fathers side. I for a long time tried to forget and believe it never happened. It wasn't until my grandmother on my mothers side came to visit noticed that something was really bothering me, that I didn't seem to act like a happy child should. For about 8 years I had bottled up everything, I had been threatened by my grandfather that if I ever told anyone what happened that he would severely hurt my mother. But when my grandmother noticed something wrong she talked to my parents who then talked to me. I told them everything. Afterward it felt as though everything had happened yesterday, all the feelings I had bottled up were then brought to the surface and I felt hate, anger, saddness, betrayed, etc. Soon after my parents confronted my grandparents. I then learned that my grandfather had molested my father and uncles and that he himself had been molested as a child. I then decided that though it doesn't make what he did right it does explain why he did it. I realized that he had problems that no one helped him with and that maybe it was because I had come forward that things could start to change. And they did though not in a way most would expect. A month later he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and six months to the day he passed away. I know some may think that of course you'd forgive someone that were dying, but it wasn't until about five years after he passed that I was finally able to forgive him and remember that we are all God's Children and that He loves us no matter what we do and wants us all to be happy.  That we must "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." (Old Testament | Proverbs 3:5 - 6) I hope in some way my telling this may help someone. Thank-You for your time.

I have been watching the show and I am saddend that their are people like this in our world... I was molested as a child by a family friend and I can relate to grace. When you finally do tell your story, you expect help, love, compassion, and safety. This so called grandpa is nasty, he should still be locked up and throw away the key. I think these people are never cured, they need to be kept far away from children, and the grandma, she has don nothing but protect him and stand by him. Doesn't this discust her? I don't get it. She needs to be put away also for excepting and living with the man. Niether needs to be around children, let a lone this little angel Grace. The father needs to pull his head out also. I know this is his father, but I am a mother and it doesn't matter to me who you are, if you do anything to my son you are to blame. My husband and I have had agruments about our son, because if he does anything that I don't like it pisses me off. That is the only child we have and you never know when that time is up and you never know what is ripping your childs life apart. Every parent should live their life with their children as if it was the last day you had with them. No one else is as important. The sooner these people figure this out the better for Grace...... Thank God Dr. Phil and Cat are in her life. Grace, I wish you the best and don't let your grandparents define who you are......

During Dr. Phil's interview with the grandparents, a large flock of birds landed in the tall trees surrounding the Dr. Phil House.  Then a few on the front lawn...soon there were hundreds on the front lawn. Then some landed on the window ledges......

As Dr. Phil talked to the grandparents, there was a faint tapping on the glass,then more........and more.

The grandparents looked puzzled and Dr. Phil said he'd be back in a minute to check on it. As he got in the room behind the thick 2-way glass. They could hear thunderous flapping of wings,cawing and then the breaking of glass...

Birds rushed through the broken glass flying everywhere, .....Grandma screamed.......Aaaaaaaaaaaah .....   help me ......as they landed in her fake hair and pecked at her head. Grandpa dissappeared under feathers and beaks .

Then they left as quickly as they came and the curtains fluttered in the breeze ,now stained in crimson. Grandma lay sprawled across the sofa and Grandpa ,what was left of him,on the floor. Dr. Phil ran in ,

She has a pulse! said the perky blonde producer! Maybe we can do the last 2 episodes after all!!!  "chopper evac team NOW!" cried Dr. Phil . Damn birds!!!"screwing up my show like that!!".....cont.d after this commercial break  !