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Topic : 08/13 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

Number of Replies: 1627

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Created on : Friday, April 06, 2007, 11:30:39 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/09/07) Two-and-a-half years ago, Cat and Todd left their 6-year-old daughter, Grace, with Todd’s parents for the night. Little did they know, it would be the night that changed their family forever. Grace’s grandfather, Steve, molested her, and after Grace told her grandmother, Ann, about it, Ann failed to report it. After confronting Todd’s parents, Cat and Todd pressed charges. Steve served eight months in jail and is now a registered sex offender. Neither he nor Ann has seen Cat, Todd or their grandchildren in over two years, but they desperately want to put their family back together. Steve says he’s ready to do what he can to heal his family, but Todd and Cat are not convinced. What does Steve say is his reason for stealing Grace's innocence? Dr. Phil meets with the grandparents and gets to the truth of what really happened, while Todd and Cat watch from behind a two-way mirror. Will the unvarnished truth be too much for them to handle? Can this fractured family ever heal and move on? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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kathleen27

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April 15, 2007, 10:52 pm PDT

The 4th Commandment is not moronic

Quote From: penny_lady

"Sorry I figured the grandmother for a victumn in this also. I missed the part where she was helping the grandfather to do it."

You don't consider creating a consequence free environment in which to molest little kids is "helping"??? I certainly do.

That's why I think the 4th commandment is moronic. No one deserves unconditional honor...especially molesters.

I believe in God, and the Commandments are His, not ours. Pedophilia, like any other disease, needs to be seen as such. There is a big difference in keeping a child away from the offender, while still loving him, not his illness. No one asks to be born with a mental disease or defect, yet many people are. This illness, because it invoves children, makes us want to kill, not treat. I am disgusted with the lack of funding to find a way to control this disease. We are into the 21 Century, and we worry about protecting children. If research found a chemical imbalance in the brains of pedophiles, then, like other mental disorders, these people could be controlled with medication. The end result may be that this epidemic is diminished, thereby protecting before they strike, not after.Our thinking is not clear... somewhere...somehow this disease must be haulted. It is too rampant not to be a very common, very serious illness. Until science begins an agressive fight to stabilize it, there will be more victims, as it is one illness that is invisable unti it is too late. As a civilized people, we cannot just let it remain in the dark ages of medicine

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odarby

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April 16, 2007, 12:46 am PDT

04/09 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

Quote From: mamapitman

It is sad. and it hurts my heart that a grandpa could do this.

My brother was molsted at a young age by a uncle that was suppose to watch us. My brother is 47 yrs old now and it still affects him. As I know it will effect this child also. Thank God she has her mom and dad who care for her so much! It is soo crazy this world that we live in that a grandma could cover this up and act as nothing is wrong. That upsets me so.

As a grandma I would KILL THE PERSON WHO TOCHED MY GRANDCHILDEN HUSBAND OR NOT! How can she act like this? I guess it is the reaction that I got when I confronted my dad about what his brother did. He really didn't care and therefore because of that he never got to know his grandson.

How could I take my son around a family that turns their heads..So they missed out..

and Grace's Mom and Dad has to make that choice also..It isn't hard..You love your children and you protect them at all cost!

Sometimes it is easier to ignore the situation than it is to face the concequences of reality. I'm not trying to excuse Anne from her responsibilities. But recognize my aunts and grandma as having similar fears, as she probably has. It was enough to keep them quiet until I reported my grandpa (dad's father) and (mom's) uncle. My aunts were victims, they were embarrassed, and ashamed, and thought it best to just move out of the house as soon as they could, but they still visited because it was their family, a source of support. For grandma it was the stigma of a broken family, and failure wife. It was easier for them to ignore it and pretend it never happened.

Anne should have told. Just like my aunts and my grandma should have. But they were scared, not sure what would happen if they did. For my family, a 14 year old carried the burden. I reported to the police about my own abuse, and found I had taken on the roll of protector, confidant, and counsellor. Once my aunts found out I had reported, they started telling me their stories. I had to warn my cousins to make sure they were safe and know they could come to me if they had to. I hate my roll, still wish my aunts had taken it instead, but know that they couldn't. Always worried that if the family fell apart I would be the one they blamed, and always fearful that I hadn't done enough to stop my abusers from hurting someone else. Now at 35 I have to act as the reminder to my nephews and their generation, I have to keep them safe.

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thando

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April 16, 2007, 2:24 am PDT

qoute from vtaggart

Quote From: yougtbk

I also believe they should not be left alone. A lot of the letters seem to be against the grandmother and she wasn't the one doing it yet a lot of you seem to want to string her up and shoot her. The big thing people seem to be against is she didn't go running out the house telling people he did it. It looks like neither did the kid but because you didn't say something right away quick doesn't mean it didn't happen. The victumns in this isn't just the kids. Its there parents, and also the grandmother other grandchildren of the grandfather. He hurt the relationship between the grandmother and grandchildren and children. Hopefully after the granddaughter told her she never let her out of her site while she was there but as far as her beleving he was guilty all people are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law and no wife is required to testify againt her husband. Why teach us that and then want to through people in jail for following the law.

I don't feel the child should be denied seeing her grandparents but just not leave her alone with her grandfather.

i'm not against anyone but how does the child feel about the grandfather because its not easy to just forgive someone who did something terrible to you,worst part of it someone you know and trust but let the child decide what she wants to do whether to give him another chance and the parents must support the childs decision. i hope and pray for that family

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suasponte

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April 16, 2007, 3:44 am PDT

Disgusted

I cannot believe these parents, or these grandparents. That poor little girl will never forget about this no matter what happens or what anyone does NOW. It is to late. If that were my child I agree with Dr. Phil they would have to drag me off the son of bitch! I don't really understand the purpose of their meeting except to maybe make the world a little more aware of who is around your children. I mean would they really want to sit down and have a talk with a stranger who did the same act. Talking about he is sorry and he is hurting too. He is just damn lucky that his son is as pathetic as he is. I know if my husbands father did that to one of our children there is no question in my mind that my husband would be sitting in jail for murder. I don't understand America or any country that gives these kind of monsters a " SECOND" chance. The children that they hurt don't get a second chance! It is time to stand up for our children and make harsher punishments for these acts. These monsters get a slap on the wrist and then they go out and do it again. It is pathetic and down right disgusting! NO CHILD MOLESTER SHOULD HAVE A SECOND CHANCE TO HURT ANOTHER CHILD NO MATTER WHAT RELATIONSHIP THEY ARE TO THEIR VICTIM!!! That is why this continues to happen. If the punishment for these acts was death or life in prison you can almost guarantee that the rates of children being molested would drop drastically. My heart goes out to "CAT" and "GRACIE" they have a very long road ahead of them and in the end it will be "GRACE'S"her mother who is by her side. Her father certainly can't stand up for her. I would never let my child see those people again! Family or not! He should be ashamed of himself and so should his wife! They are ridiculous excuses for grandparents. There is no apology in the world that could make up for what he has done. Absolutely disgusting!!!! Good luck to you "CAT"

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momisme2

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April 16, 2007, 5:00 am PDT

04/09 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

Quote From: yougtbk

Sorry I figured the grandmother for a victumn in this also. I missed the part where she was helping the grandfather to do it. I didn't see the whole show. As for the son parents have an unconditional love for there children. so it should be normal for him to still love his parents. Love isn't something you can just turn on and off. I am a christian and I was taught its ok to love the sinner but not the sin. He is not an idiot for loving his parents. The 4th comandment says to honor they father and mother. It dosen't say you have to trust them.

Oh please. Spare me your Bible quoting to defend and minimize!

Exactly how much of the show DID you watch? From the very begining it spoke of how this sick woman covered up her molester/abuser husbands actions and STILL IS.

Youre a Christian? Did you miss the part in the Bible where Jesus spoke of the horror of hurting a child? Of how it would be better for someone to hang a rock around their necks and drown then to hurt an innocent child? Missed that part of your saviors teachings too, did ya?

Figures.

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housewife52

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April 16, 2007, 6:04 am PDT

What about the 6th commandment?9th commandment?

"Thou shalt not commit adultry.""Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house: thy neighbor's wife....etc." The grandfather committed adultry and coveted his granddaughter. I know we are to separate the sin from the sinner. God gave me a brain to figure out right from wrong. God gave those grandparents a beautiful child to love and cherish. God gave that child 2 parents to take care of her and do right by her. (He gave them brains too.) Yes, I understand that you can't just turn love on and off. I'm sure that for Grace's dad it was like mourning a death. No, the grandmother stopped being a victim when she didn't do the right thing. I don't like to argue religion. But I can't just sit by and let someone use God to justify a sin.

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dee11280

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April 16, 2007, 6:32 am PDT

Protect yourself and your baby!

Quote From: jaden3

I was recently dating a man much older than myself, I am 24 and he is 44, he seemed like a wonderful person and I really liked him a lot. One night while he was at the store I used his computer to instant message a friend. I opened his received files to find a picture of myself I had sent him to use as my display picture, and to my shock and disgust all that was in the folder were pictures and videos of child pornography. Very soon after that I learned I was pregnant. Because of my values and beliefs I decided to go full term with the pregnancy, and we have since broken up. I have never directly confronted him about this, though I did send him a child lust recovery link from an email address not under my name. He is very excited about our child's birth and he wants to be involved in his or her life. I dont know what to do because Im scared if he has this and is aroused by this material will he act on these urges in real life? Is he capable of hurting our child in this way? I want to do everything to protect my unborn child so nothing like this ever happens to him/her but Im nervous if we go to court over custody his top notch lawyers (he comes from a wealthy family) will convince the judge that he isn't a threat, since there is no evidence that he has commited lude acts against children. What can I do to protect my baby once my baby is born?

First and foremost stay away from this man!! Second report him for what he has on his PC. Even if you think he may have deleted them or what ever they still can be found! He had them there once he will have more!

Once you are away from him and you have reported him, there is nothing he can do to wiggle out of the crimes he committed. Yes having pornographic photos of children is a crime! No matter how much money he has his atty. will not be able to get him out or at least we all hope not!

Your worries are legitimate in every possible way, will he act on these urges... yes if he already hasn't done so to some other innocent child. Is he a threat YES YES YES!! He is a threat to your child to every child he is near or any child he can see.

There isn't a need for evidence of a "lude act" when he has child pornography on this PC. That is a crime itself and you may be shocked to find that he may have done something already.

For the sake of your baby and yourself report him, if you hit a wall with the first detective keep going until you find one that will listen to you and will take you serious. There will be someone who will listen you might have to look a little harder than you thought to find them but they are there! Also, you always have the boards to turn to if you need someone to listen to you or need some help!

Please do not wait until your baby is born to protect him/her!

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momisme2

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April 16, 2007, 7:30 am PDT

04/09 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

Quote From: yougtbk

Yes I do. That should be up to Grace to decide. I realize she is only 6 so would probably need to be done with court supervision because here it is the molesters that aren't allowed to see the children and not the other way around.

Oh my God.

Did you SERIOUSLY just post that you think a child victim should be around her abuser EVEN though the abuser is a STRANGER????

Well hell! Thats a swell idea! How about... once the rapists and molesters get out of jail(if they have even served any time, that is) we set up some nice little meetings at Disneyland? Theres a plan for ya! We can rent rooms at the Disney Hotel for these sick twists and their innocent victims so they can make nicey nice and then go hit Space Mountain for a few more thrills.

Where do we sign up for that? I want to be first in line! Sounds like EVER so much fun!

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yougtbk

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April 16, 2007, 7:41 am PDT

04/09 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

Quote From: cenders

I'm so glad that others like you feel that to continue a relationship with the abuser is wrong for the victim - my adopted son(almost 14) had been abusing my 10 yr old Granddaughter and his mentally challenged twin sister for 7 years-when we finally discovered this about 6 months ago the county took our son and put him into a group home -the sexual abuse that he has been committing is horrific and he has no remorse - he has been proven to be someone who does not have a conscience-the county wants us to reunite with this monster and bring him back into our home but I refuse -I cannot bring him back into the lives of his victims and risk further abuse -I don't know what the answer is but I do know I don't want him back!!!!When I was around 6 my great grandfather molested me and my Dad and Grandpa broke off all communication with the abuser and to this day I feel loved and protected by these two great men in my life even though they have both passed on - one of the big problems I have right now is the fact that my Husband still remains in contact with our adopted sex abuser son and it hurts his young victims to know this. Get some therapy for your Daughter but don't be surprised when this subject comes up later on in her life -it just doesn't go away no matter how it is handled.

I have a neighbor with a son like that and she writes letters to him sends cards she isn't alowed to visit but he knows he still has her love and suport. . Shes a great mom and loves her other children too. I can't see a mother loving her child one minute then not loving them the next. Your husband sounds like a loving father and just because he loves his son doenst mean he dosen't love his other children or would hurt them. Unless he would also be an abuser and have sex with your children he shouldnt be punished an not see his son. If it does bouther them you might ask your husband not to make a big deal out of visiting him and not tell the little ones where he's going everytime he goes out of the house. He should let you know where he is incase he is needed for something but if the kids ask don't lie to them about where he is. That wouldnt be good. Your husband just sounds like a father that loves his children.

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demonamy2

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April 16, 2007, 8:21 am PDT

Untitled

Quote From: momisme2

Oh my God.

Did you SERIOUSLY just post that you think a child victim should be around her abuser EVEN though the abuser is a STRANGER????

Well hell! Thats a swell idea! How about... once the rapists and molesters get out of jail(if they have even served any time, that is) we set up some nice little meetings at Disneyland? Theres a plan for ya! We can rent rooms at the Disney Hotel for these sick twists and their innocent victims so they can make nicey nice and then go hit Space Mountain for a few more thrills.

Where do we sign up for that? I want to be first in line! Sounds like EVER so much fun!

Whoa just chill. Grace and Steve can't meet till she's 18 anyway or untill Todd says so. And if she does she will most likely be watched and it has to be her decision. If she doesn't want to then she doesn't want to if she does then she does. It's that simple.

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