Topic : 08/13 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

  You really believe Grace should not go to Disneyland because her abuser might be there.  That is no reason for you to lock up a child.  Here they can't be around children so would have to leave when children show up.  Since Disneyland has children they would get arrested for going but you'd rather have the child leave arrested and punish her so the molesters can go to Disneyland.  Here since children go to church in order for them to go they have to have a special roaped off area with a sign up. so far my church doenst have an area for them but they plan a new church and I don't know if they  plan a place for them or not but unless Disneyland has a special place roped off they aren't allowed to go there.   A lot of the things on the don't do list that they do things anyway. so  Disneyland would be full of them but thats not a reason not to let Grace go and make her stay home.

Todd is possibly grieving over the loss of the "idealism" that we all hold over our parents. We want to believe that we have/had the most wonderful, perfect parents. Being a person in the exact same position as Todd, I know exactly what he is feeling. He doesn't want to believe that his own dad could have done something like this. He is in tremendous shock and the system handles that shock in different ways. I can't blame Todd for what he is feeling, he is coming along very well, I think and is supporting his daughter which is what he must do. The anger will set in soon, if Dr. Phil continues to work with him. Todd needs counseling also as much as Grace does, just for different reasons.

I wont just chill and it is not that simple.

Youre wrong that Steve and Grace can meet if Todd says so.  Where did you get that idea?  There was a court order issued and it does not matter what Todd thinks or says.  The court order must be respected. 

I find it more then interesting that it has taken over a week for someone to log on and defend this womans actions.  This same person throws out Bible verses to defend, justify, minimize and deny this grandmothers accountability while posting that yes, she does think a child victim should be around an abuser even though that abuser is a STRANGER.    And your response to all this is I should chill?   Dont think so!

While other posters may not be able to see through these posts, I most assuredly can.  I have had years of experience dealing with these type minimizers and deniers and im not about to read this crap and just sit back and go, "Sure!  Great ideas!  Lets honor these parents who abuse their childrens children.  Lets allow innocent vctims around their abusers even if they are in fact strangers.  Its all good!"  Nope!  Wont do it.

I will stand up and refute this BS for EVERY child victim who has had to listen to this same exact horse s***.    If you dont like it, skip my posts!

   I have worked with families that have been torn apart by sexual abuse for two decades.  Pedophiles do not rehabilitate.  They just don't.  I also believe in God, and in loving the sinner while despising the sin, but I balk at renaming sin as "Illness."  Grace's fate is the only real concern in this situation, seconded by the pain and possible disintegration of a marriage because of this terrible assault on the innocence of this child.  If the instinct people feel is to kill, that is because this crime is so heinous and so far-reaching.  I don't care what century we're in, or what science says, sexual crimes against children are against both the law of God and man, and need to be given NO ROOM.  So what if pedophilia is defined by the DSM as a disorder? If the disordered person is a risk to society, then society should be the focus of our concern, not the pedophile.  I support the universal adoption of "Jessica's Law" because it is the only way to protect our children. As for Grace's sadness at missing her grandparents, that is very unfortunate and a part of the crime they perpetrated against her.  These grandparents can demonstrate true love for this child and her parents by voluntarily removing themselves from all their lives PERMANENTLY.  Only after Grace is 18 years old, and has had sufficient therapy, should SHE be the one to decide if she wants to attempt to get closure with her grandparents in person.  I have seen too many children devastated by the words and signals sent them by the perpetrators and their enablers during so-called "supervised" visits to ever agree that such visits should be considered, even if Grace wants them, until she is an adult and able to make adult decisions.  As for Cat and Todd, I hope that they get all the therapeutic help and support they need to, first, to be healing parents for Grace, and second, to be able to heal the rupture this crime has caused to their marriage.  AGAIN, Grandma and Grandpa should put their money where their mouths are by BOWING OUT...from the entire family.

If youre posts wernt so fantastically outrageous, they would be funny.

Keep it up!   I dont know what else you could possibly say to dig yourself even more into a hole other then, "Yep!  A child victim SHOULD be allowed around her stranger abuser!" but what the heck!    Give it a go.   You can continue with your excuse making, denying, and justifications all you like.    Just as I can continue to call you on the carpet for each and every one. 

Its a free country. 

Whoa geez have respect for a 15 year old! And by the way it was said in the trans script, maybe you should pay more attention to the show sometime.

My point exacly.

People learn from their mistakes (most of them). My dad molested me when I was 4 and has he done it again? No he hasn't because he has learned from that. And I think that Steve is one of those who will learn from this mistake.

I fully agree with you that pedophiles must be kept away from children.  The facts are, that we cannot do this until after the action has occurred.  If there were more medical research for this problem...I don't want to get into the trap of semantics...  and modern science did find SOMETHING that worked, wouldn't it be better than letting an epidemic run rampant?  I know that the action is a crime, but if we do not face that the desire to commit such an act is a disorder, aren't we guilty of neglect?  Why not try,as what we are facing today is a failure to deal with this before it touches a child.  Yes, you want to kill, after the fact.  Suppose some medication could be given to people with these urges, BEORE THE FACT?  How many children may be saved from this ordeal?  If we don't try a new approach, we will never know.  As other mental defects, deemed untreatable in the past, can now be managed, why not look heavily into this one.  All we can do is fail, and be no worse off than we are now.  I am not content to leave things as they were multiple decades ago.  To not even approach this in a new way is Irresponsible, because of the damage it does. Do we ride our moral high horses and continue on with the defeatest attitude that they cannot be treated, because of our digust?  That is pretty selfish thinking.  It is better to give up?  If we do that, we are not using resources of our modern science to try to protect children.  We have to care what century we are in.. we have to listen to science...If there can be a control found, the society we called civilized owes that effort to the children the same as any other preventive measures.  Wanting to find any help is not condoning the crime.  Vaccines are being given today that were not around twenty years ago..the purpose being prevention.  We are being remiss until no stone is left unturned, as what we have now is a sick sorry mess.

As a 15 year old who has been abused by her father, I can understand your confusion.

If you click on "find out what happened on the show" and then click on "profiles" you will see that this grandfather is NOT legally allowed to have any contact with the child until she turns 18. 

Im confused why you think this man will learn from his mistakes?  He still says the devil made him do it while he speaks of how it seemed the 6 year old wanted him to abuse her.

 These are all signs of someone who has not learned from their mistakes and will in fact continue to abuse any child within his realm of possibility.  The same is true of the grandmother.  Her words and actions are indicative of someone who would, once again, turn a blind eye and deaf ear. 

I know you are still very young, however I must urge you to be very cautious with your future childrens contact with your father.  Stats on pedophiles ever changing are incredibly scary.  Please do some research and educate yourself on the very sad facts of pedophiles and the rate of  recidivism.