Topic : 08/13 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace

Almost the exact same thing happened in my family. My father molested my daughter when she was only three, but much more in depth and for a greater length of time. The repercussions of this have been astronomical. For Grandma on the show to say she didn't think it would have such an effect on Grace is pathetic. My daughter's sexuality has been stirred at three years old by a man who was supposed to protect and love her. We prosecuted my father and he sat nine months in a local jail, but a life sentence couldn't justify what he's done. He still denies that anything happened, and although he wasn't in a relationship with anyone when this happened that whole side of the family is non-exisistent to us because they "didn't want to get involved".  Way to go Grace for being so brave and shame on you Grandma for letting her down when she came to you for help. As far as the whole devil possesion thing, gimme a break, I am a christian woman who believes in the devil but God has given all of us free will and the devil may whisper in our ear but we all make the choice to act upon our temptations. Until Grandpa can be fully accountable for his actions, keep that little girl as far from him as possible, and all children for that matter because if he was really reformed there would be no excuses for what he did. Dad, I know first hand the feelings of loyalty that are torn between your daughter and your father, but your first and foremost duty is to protect your child. I know the impact of what your father did to your daughter may seem surreal, but I guarantee that if it would have progressed he would have thrown you under the bus in a heartbeat to cover the molestation. When people are that sick in the head all they are thinking about is their own self-gratification. I'm sure he wasn't thinking about the trust he was violating towards you as he was stealing your daughter's innocence. If there are any parents out there who's children have been molested please believe them and do something no matter how hard the fight may be. Nothing can bring back the innocence taken, no amount of jail time, not registering as a sex offender, not even an I'm sorry from the perpetrator. I do believe though that the unbelief of an entrusted family member can be just as detramental to the child as the molestation. Take care of our children people.

Grandma is not accountable for what Grandpa did, she is accountable for what she didn't do. She failed to protect Grace after Grace came to her for help. She may have had every intention in her heart to not allow Grace to be alone with Grandpa again, but what she said to Grace (I'm sure it was an accisent, Grandpa wouldn't do that) was an admittance of allegience to Grandpa and basically called Grace a liar and didn't believe her. Then on top of that she didn't tell Grace's parents. So she covered for Grandpa. I am a christian woman also and my father molested my daughter. You can forgive but you don't forgive for their benefit you do it for yourself, and forgiving does not mean trusting or even allowing that person back into your life and especially not into your child's life when it is not safe. I don't think Todd has grasped what exactly has happened and dealt with all the isues.

This grandfather shows NO remorse or accountability beyond his empty words about how wrong his actions were.  Blah blah blah.  Kudos to Cat for hanging tough for her daughter.  If I were her mother, neither of the grandparents would have a relationship with my daughter.  This grandfather is horrifying and his wife is just as culpable.  This poor kid FINALLY gets up the nerve to disclose the abuse and her grandmother dismisses it??!?  Are you KIDDING ME???  She should have gone to jail too.

Is she the first one's that this man has molested?  Who knows.....all we know is it's the first time he was CAUGHT.  Sexually predatory behaviour can't be cured.  There is no drug.  Will he do it again?  Maybe....has he been "cured"?  Nope.

And even better....they were expecting that after a sit down with Dr. Phil that they'd be back in this child's life??  Wow....he must feel so....victimized *sarcastic*  Actions have consequences...he needs to own is behaviour and his wife needs to lay off her denial and delusions that everything is going to be okay. 

Grace is a hero....good for her for telling.  She's a brave kid.   =))

To everyone,

I agree with all of you that the grandparents should stay away from Grace and any other children! I don't believe that they have admitted to both the family and theirselves the gravity of what has happened to Grace. As far as all molestors being prosecuted for the rest of their lives I disagree to a point. The thing is I don't think many people realize that all molestors aren't adults. There are some who are children themselves and have been victimized themselves and don't understand or realize what their doing until it happens to another child like myself. My brother who is 3 years older then me molested both myself and my other 2 siblings who were younger. He didn't understand or realize what he was doing being barely 10 years old. Even though what my brother did was still wrong whether he realized it or not I forgave him for it. In fact not long after it happened and my parents found out when I told them and DFACS got involved I flat out told the social worker I still wanted to see my brother. At first the social worker said no but then i got a new social worker and told her I still wanted to see my brother I still love him and he is a victim too. The second social worker allowed as long as my younger siblings and I werent left alone with him. It had to be a public place where many people were around. My brother ended up getting help and he was placed in a boys home. I believe he has changed. Of course I'm an adult now too as well as my younger siblings. After he was placed in the boys home and released he never did it to the 3 of us again. I don't know about anyone else who he may have done it to if he did or not. I can speak for my younger siblings and myself. I guess the point I'm trying to make is everyone needs to realize a molestor doesn't have to be an adult or even a teen, they can also be young children who do not understand what their doing is wrong. Should everyone prosecute them for the rest of their lives. Children are more likely to change and adjust then most adults. My brother wasn't my only predator there were 2 older men who were friends of the family who had molested me around the same time. No I don't forgive them for what they did to me. Just realize the adults aren't the only molestors.

I also was sexually abused as a child more than once from several abusers and it just led right up into my teens. No one listened when I told them the first time so I kept quiet about it from there on out. This is abusive for the grandmother not to believe her grandchild that the grandfather abused her which is exactly what happened to me the first time. I was told to "stay away from my grandfather." ha! What is a five year old suppose to do to stay away from a adult? 

My grand daughter came to us and told us that a teenage boy of 16 was hurting her, it took her many months to open up to tell us for she was threatened by the abuser and the abusers Aunt as we found out later on. Our grand daughter was only 3 at the time . We took steps immediately to insure her safety!  Which grace's grandmother did nothing!  Shame on her!

I would not allow my child around this man again if I were grace's parents whether he was related or not, it is not safe!  I thank God that this little girl had the courage to tell her mother and father what happened to her even after her grandmother didn't believe her, way to go grace!  Way to go grace's parents for keeping her safe from this pervert! For not allowing DNA to get in the way of this very difficult situation.