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Topic : 06/29 Husbands Ask Dr. Phil

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Created on : Friday, April 06, 2007, 11:37:03 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/10/07) Dr. Phil talks to husbands who want to set their wives straight! Shane’s dream has always been to be a stuntman, and he can’t believe he now gets paid to do what he loves. But his wife, Marlo, says stunt performing is too dangerous, and the time has come for him to grow up. Is it too late for Shane to play Evel Knievel now that he’s a husband and a father? Then, Jeremy says he’s married, not dead, and he can’t help but notice attractive women. His wife, Kelly, however, says he should only have eyes for her, and they fight all the time over the issue. Can Kelly get a handle on her insecurities before they destroy her marriage? Next, Todd says his wife, Kim, is driving their family nuts with her paranoia about germs. She throws away her kids’ dirty clothes, follows her family around with antibacterial wipes and even wipes down strangers’ kids if they get too close! What is behind Kim’s fear? Plus, can a young couple dealing with infidelity gain back the trust? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More June 2007 Show Boards.


 
mony1mony1

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April 10, 2007, 7:41 am PDT

It is a matter of RESPECT!!!

Shortly after my husband and I started dating, he did this exact smae thing to me at a benefit that I brought him to as MY guest. I READ HIM THE RIOT ACT!!! Now, when my husband is with me, I am the only one in the room. I don't kid myself... I know that he looks, just as I do when we are not together. But, when I am with him, I would NEVER check someone out, let alone do double and triple takes. Her husband is an INSENSITIVE JERK!!! It is OBVIOUS athat he has NO RESPECT for her feelings and THAT is the real issue. Her insecurities are fed by his inabiltiy to conduct HIMSELF in a grown up manner. I do think she is a little ridiculous about censoring TV shows and such, BUT I see why. All this disrespectful activity that he is demonstrating towards her has brought her to this point. I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall if you were at a party with your beautiful WIFE and you did a triple take on a woman, walking backwards, and then told ROBIN that the woman had nice breasts! You'd probably be sleeping on the couch for a month!!!!!!!!!! The MAIN ISSUE WAS ABOUT about the RESPECT that two people have for each other in a marriage. Her insecurities were secondary!!!! DR. PHIL YOU WERE WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY OUT OF LINE on this one!!!!

 
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lorrainezee
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April 10, 2007, 7:47 am PDT

04/10 Husbands Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: kphilips10

You are right.  We don't cross the line.  He may leer and ogle me all he wants but no other woman.  I agree with you other post, too.  When he quits looking, I will be burying him!

 

 

First of all, it's obvious this guy is secretly telling his wife he IS intereted in other women!! Come on Dr. Phil, I would be insecure with this guy with his tongue wagging and drooling, too!! He doesn't want a wife, It tells me the minute his wife wouldn't be there and some women came along and offered him something this guy would be the first guy to hop in bed with her. He 'tells" his wife that he is a womanizer when he does this and is disrespescting her at the same time. I would be very upset. Yeah, guys take a  quick glance, and thats it.  I think you Dr. Phil want to look ,too and "get away" with it, so you are telling your wife this is okay!! and because you are a doctor, you are getting away with it. How would you like your wife to wear shorts that come half past her cheeks and pasties, you wouldn't like it because that would be disrespecting YOU and YOUR marriage. I think you are wrong in telling this girl this is okay, it IS not. This guy really needs to controll himself , or get off the wagon if he does not want one wife.If the man wants to cheat with his eyes, he should get a divorce because it is apparent that this guy wants other women. This girl did not get insecure for no reason. I saw some fat man at the restaurant eating like a glutten a  greasy chicken leg while he was looking at the young waitress as if she had no clothing on following her all around with his eyes!! What is wrong with the men today! I think it is only getting worse because of the way society is becoming or is it too much internet porno?
 
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lorrainezee
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April 10, 2007, 7:49 am PDT

04/10 Husbands Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: jrs777777

Husbands have no business looking at other women that hold an attraction for them for other than routine social interaction, business, etc.  It says in the Bible, and follows logically, that if one lusts after a woman in one's heart, it is the same as if one had actually followed through with that.

 

Thoughts in one's mind can easily become a precursor for action.

 

I don't even look at beautiful teenagers for fear I'm going to get connected with lust for them.  Beauty is nice, but not only is it wrong to lust after it, it fades with time and one is left with someone one can't live with.  Marry and stay faithful to someone you like - love will follow.

 

 

we need more men like you!!
 
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thepaintladies
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April 10, 2007, 7:54 am PDT

Amen!!!!!

Quote From: juliebgg

There is a big difference between discreetly checking someone out and leering, ogling or staring at someone.  And out of respect to your partner, you should not be doing the latter in their presence.   If what he is doing is obvious enough for the one who is being looked at to observe it, then the person has gone too far.   And if it is frequent enough to make the person he (or she) is with feel the the major focus is not on her (or him) then it has also gone too far.  I believe that it is disrespectful to leer or gape or ogle another person, or spend alot of time "looking" when in the presence of your partner.  And I can see why, when done frequently, how it could make a partner feel insecure in the relationship and question intentions.

Also, is it fair for a guy to give another girl an ego trip  making her feel like "I am cuter, prettier, sexier than the girl you are with".  I could understand how your girl would feel humiliated.  As the above writer said, it is RUDE to give these attentions to other women in front of yur own.  Bottom line...if it is obvious rather than discreet you have gone too far.

I cannot believe that Dr. Phil finds it okay and that it is her insecurities!!!  Would he feel the same if Robin drooled over every attractive man that crossed her path?  What if she took a few glances and made it obvious?  Would his opinion change then?  Reducing your partners security in you and your relationship by lusting and ogling at the other sex on a constant basis is wrong on soooo many levels!!  Thank you for speaking the truth!!
 
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mistymellen
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April 10, 2007, 8:28 am PDT

04/10 Husbands Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: pep49456

  Wow! I'm sorry to say that Dr.Phil missed his mark on this one. Yes, we are all human and we do appreciate beauty, but when you are going thru the mall holding your spouses hand and you are gawking at others that is just plain disrespectful! That woman can't even have a conversation with her husband over a meal in a public place, because he is not there with her. His mind is on other things, like other women. I was in a relationship like that and soon was made to feel less attractive also. I to went and changed my appearances. I would "hide" in the clothes I wore and how I presented myself. This man has totally disrespected his wife and destroyed her confidence in her self. This man has set the stage for his wifes paranoia. If he wants his wife back, he should start being HER husband and giving HER the attention. Dr.Phil, please get this couple back on and seriously address this issue before this marriage and woman are destroyed completely.
First, I must say that if I had been in that audience, I would have stood up when asked if I've had arguements/discussions weekly with my husband.  I thought for sure that was me on the stage and not Kelly.  I totally trust my husband and I believe in his love for me.  But I also think there is a time and place for drooling and taking two or three extra obvious looks towards opposite sex. If a spouse knows the others feelings and yet chooses to continue with the behavior, there is a problem.  There is definitely an issue with being insecure, but giving the ok on this behavior just adds fuel to a burning fire.  I've spent months rethinking my ways and doing what I can to NOT feel disrespected, but so far its not working.  I much prefer my time in public being spent by myself so that I don't have to go through the tormenting feelings this behavior does to my insides.  I know I'm missing out on alot of things in life and maybe someday I will have the respect I feel I deserve as a wife.  Kelly you are not alone!
 
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chicyuna
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April 10, 2007, 9:49 am PDT

Kim and germs

I am just wondering if Kim realizes that she's doing more harm than good by keeping her kids away from germs. If she continues doing what she's doing, her kid's immune systems will be shot by the time they're older. They're going to get sick more often because their bodies haven't been exposed to the germs which helps build up the immune system. When I was a kid, my mom rarely took me to the doctor whenever I was sick (unless I was super sick). She would usually just let me "battle it out", and I'm glad she did. I rarely, if ever get sick anymore, even when I'm around others who are sick. My immune system was built up from the germs I was exposed to when I was smaller. So even though Kim may think she's helping her kids, in the long run she's only setting them up for a lifetime of sickness.
 
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smurfinaround
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April 10, 2007, 10:40 am PDT

04/10 Husbands ask Dr. Phil

 I agree with Kelly 100%. A woman's self esteem will naturally take a beating when her husband is constantly telling her she is not good enough by his actions. If he is so on love with his wife, then why is he noticing other women? He should only have eyes for her. He should make her feel like she is the most beautiful woman in the room. But, instead he is telling her that she is only mediocre, that of course there are prettier girls than her around and he is going to look at them. It is disrespectful and rude. He is not honoring his wife He knows it upsets her and he still does it anyway. My husband is the same way, but worse. He didn't want to have sex with me for 6 years. Then, he gets a new female coworker and everything changed. Suddenly, he wants to have sex with me again. He finally admitted that he was using me to satisfy his lust for her. And on top of that, my husband thinks that I should be grateful that he is willing to touch me again, even though he wants me to be her. Words can't describe how I feel. I  am leaving him. Kelly should leave her husband, too. It will only get worse, the disrespect.
 
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jmaldonado99
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April 10, 2007, 11:26 am PDT

04/10 Husbands Ask Dr. Phil

In my personal experience I have found that most people that are lookers in this way have been that way from the get go. They don't just wake up that way unless there has been a defining change in the relationship that has caused him or her to feel as though they need to look else where.I am happily married for 6 years and my husband does glance at other women but it is nothing that would cause me to believe that he is not happy with the person that he lies down with every night. We are human and the women need to confess that they glance as well! In NO WAY am I saying that it  is her fault, but this was most likely an issue prior to marriage that should have been addressed prior to marrying.
 
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lovinyou1112
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April 10, 2007, 11:39 am PDT

04/10 Husbands Ask Dr. Phil

Quote From: ceildh1

LOL so do I !

ME TOO!!!!..IF MY BOYFRIEND DOESNT CHECK OUT THE GIRL I WILL DO IT FOR HIM!!!...THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH LOOKING AT THE OTHER SEX!!IF YOU TRUST EACHOTHER THEN THAT SHOULDN'T MATTER...SOMETIMES I WILL BE THE FIRST ONE TO SAY "THAT GIRLS SO PRETTY, HUH?"...I DON'T CARE BECAUSE CHECKING OUT ANOTHER PERSON IS NORMAL AND I DON'T MIND BECAUSE IF HE REALLY WANTED ANOTHER PERSON THEN HE WOULD LEAVE ME AND HE HASN'T YET...
 
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lovinyou1112
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April 10, 2007, 11:43 am PDT

tOTALLY agREE

Quote From: nataliep1982

HEY my thought is ...It's ok to look but damn better not touch
THATS EXACTLY WHAT I THINK..NOTHING WRONG WITH LOOKING BUT YOU TOUCH AND YOU DIE..HAHA...I ALSO DON'T LIKE IF THEY STARE WAY TOO MUCH AND IF THAT DOES HAPPEN I WILL DO IT RIGHT BACK!!!..LOL...AND THEN ASK BECAUSE I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT MY BOYFRIEND WILL NOTICE "DOESN'T  FEEL GOOD DOES IT??!!!"..AND THEN HE WON'T DO IT AGAIN...
 
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