Topic : 04/12 Twin Tug of War

Everyone has a disease these days. Nobody wants to take responsiblity for themselves. They make life hard for those who truly suffer from disease and who don't have control over their actions!

I am tired of children being victimized. The moment a woman agrees to be a serrogate and accepts payment, her rights have ended. Once the children are born and placed in a home with parents (biological or adoptive), the birth mother should have no rights to interfere in the lives of the innocent children.

God bless all the women who agree to put babies into the arms of caring, responsible, loving couples who could not have a child otherwise. As for those who change their minds after the baby is born, SHAME ON YOU for wreaking havoc on innocent children and their parents.

Wow, you're cynical. As a woman working to keep my cousin's killer behind bars longer, I can tell you that I have found the help of quite a few state attys, parole commissioners, police officers and others in the field who truly want justice served.

Your blanket statement is unfair and no different than those that used to be made about women who wore tight clothing and walked alone late at night. Remember them? Society said they couldn't be raped and must have been asking for it. Just another example of unfair stereotyping.

Let's look at individual cases, please. As someone married to a federal officer who TRULY cares about God, family, the innocent and his reputation, I ASSURE you there is not one shoe fits all IN ANY PROFESSION!!!!

You have obviously missed the point that Dr. Phil and the women from the HER foundation were trying to make.  Hyperemesis is a debilitating, heartbreaking,  detrimental illness.  Allison should never have been allowed to sign that document, because there are uneducated,ignorant people who are out for their own agendas who only care about their point of view. 

Those babies never should have been given up.  And until you have gone through what Allison and countless other women have gone through with hyperemesis, SHAME ON YOU for judging her!

As an HG sufferer, I for one, am outraged to read the several posts on here criticizing Allison.  Yes, you do have a right to your own opinion, BUT until YOU actually PERSONALLY SUFFER from HG, you have no right to criticize what choices Allison made because you truly have no idea what it is like when you are the one who is suffering.  It affects everything; physically, MENTALLY, emotionallyyou name it. 

A few things Id like to point out:

1. Why would any woman go through IVF if they didnt DESPERATELY WANT a baby?
2. If she didnt DESPERATELY WANT the baby why would she have not have terminated the pregnancy instead?  Why go through the debilitating effects of this illness for a baby(or babies) that she so desperately WANTED?
3. Why does the law let murderers plead temporary insanity and walk away from the most heinous of crimes without being sentenced to jail?  But yet, here she is in jail now, because of a decision she made while obviously so incredibly sick (call it not in her right mind or temporary insanity if you will) and is being held to that decision, which she should have never been deemed in her right mind to make in the first place! 

A few suggestions for those of you making such harsh criticisms:

1. Why dont you go criticize some other mother you deem unfit who has never experienced HG.  I can give you plenty of examples.  How about the person out in CA who had 3 babies, 11 months apart, and disposed of all three babies either in the back of a truck or however else they did it.
2. Why dont you follow the stories of girls who get pregnant, hide it from everyone, and then dump the baby in the garbage or a ditch somewhere like it was yesterdays trash?

And if you still want to criticize, then I pose this challenge for you:

            How about you starve yourself for just 2 weeks (not that 2 weeks really compares to months on end).  I mean NO FOOD, NO WATER, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BY MOUTH.  Then stick your finger down your throat at least 10-15 times PER DAY and throw up nothing but the bile in your stomach until you throw up bloodand then do it again.  Maybe then will you just BEGIN to understand what it must be like to be in her shoes.  See how clearly you can make day to day decisions, nonetheless life changing ones, not to mention being FORCED and CONIVED into such decisions.

            I do believe adoption is a wonderful thing, and I totally support adoption, but decisions such as adoption are decisions that have to be made with a clear understanding of what it is you are agreeing to or giving up.  Any woman who has suffered through HG knows that it is NOT POSSIBLE to have a CLEAR understanding of anything!  Any ethical lawyer knows that someone not in a clear frame of mind can not and should not sign any legal documents, much less sign away her own flesh and blood she struggled to have in the first place.

            As for your opinion, its falling on unwelcoming eyes and ears on this board because this board was intended for those who SUPPORT Allison and for those who SUPPORT HG sufferers, and for thanking the Dr. Phil show for giving Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and its debilitating affects, the attention that it finally deserves.

As an HG sufferer, I for one, am outraged to read the several posts on here criticizing Allison.  Yes, you do have a right to your own opinion, BUT until YOU actually PERSONALLY SUFFER from HG, you have no right to criticize what choices Allison made because you truly have no idea what it is like when you are the one who is suffering.  It affects everything; physically, MENTALLY, emotionallyyou name it. 

A few things Id like to point out:

1. Why would any woman go through IVF if they didnt DESPERATELY WANT a baby?
2. If she didnt DESPERATELY WANT the baby why would she have not have terminated the pregnancy instead?  Why go through the debilitating effects of this illness for a baby(or babies) that she so desperately WANTED?
3. Why does the law let murderers plead temporary insanity and walk away from the most heinous of crimes without being sentenced to jail?  But yet, here she is in jail now, because of a decision she made while obviously so incredibly sick (call it not in her right mind or temporary insanity if you will) and is being held to that decision, which she should have never been deemed in her right mind to make in the first place! 

A few suggestions for those of you making such harsh criticisms:

1. Why dont you go criticize some other mother you deem unfit who has never experienced HG.  I can give you plenty of examples.  How about the person out in CA who had 3 babies, 11 months apart, and disposed of all three babies either in the back of a truck or however else they did it.
2. Why dont you follow the stories of girls who get pregnant, hide it from everyone, and then dump the baby in the garbage or a ditch somewhere like it was yesterdays trash?

And if you still want to criticize, then I pose this challenge for you:

            How about you starve yourself for just 2 weeks (not that 2 weeks really compares to months on end).  I mean NO FOOD, NO WATER, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BY MOUTH.  Then stick your finger down your throat at least 10-15 times PER DAY and throw up nothing but the bile in your stomach until you throw up bloodand then do it again.  Maybe then will you just BEGIN to understand what it must be like to be in her shoes.  See how clearly you can make day to day decisions, nonetheless life changing ones, not to mention being FORCED and CONIVED into such decisions.

            I do believe adoption is a wonderful thing, and I totally support adoption, but decisions such as adoption are decisions that have to be made with a clear understanding of what it is you are agreeing to or giving up.  Any woman who has suffered through HG knows that it is NOT POSSIBLE to have a CLEAR understanding of anything!  Any ethical lawyer knows that someone not in a clear frame of mind can not and should not sign any legal documents, much less sign away her own flesh and blood she struggled to have in the first place.

            As for your opinion, its falling on unwelcoming eyes and ears on this board because this board was intended for those who SUPPORT Allison and for those who SUPPORT HG sufferers, and for thanking the Dr. Phil show for giving Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and its debilitating affects, the attention that it finally deserves.

What struck me so profoundly is how someone could even question this mother's motives.  It was obvious, at least from the entire presentation, that she wanted these children.  I find it almost inconceivable to think that any mother, given a choice, would choose to give their children up.  I believe that there is an almost primal protective instinct that we get when we have children.

For her to be in the throes of her disease and heaven knows what else, perhaps given her mental/physical concerns, she felt that that was protecting them.

Who are we to say that "we" would never do this or :"we" would never do that?

  I believe that each person individually will only know their true measure when they themselves are staring a situation right in the face.

I, for one, understand that people do crazy things for lots of reasons.  But, I do not think she is crazy.  I think she is a mother, who though unwell, loves and is drawn to her children. 

Julie

Everyone has a disease these days. Nobody wants to take responsiblity for themselves. They make life hard for those who truly suffer from disease and who don't have control over their actions!

I am tired of children being victimized. The moment a woman agrees to be a serrogate and accepts payment, her rights have ended. Once the children are born and placed in a home with parents (biological or adoptive), the birth mother should have no rights to interfere in the lives of the innocent children.

God bless all the women who agree to put babies into the arms of caring, responsible, loving couples who could not have a child otherwise. As for those who change their minds after the baby is born, SHAME ON YOU for wreaking havoc on innocent children and their parents.