Message Boards

Topic : 04/12 Twin Tug of War

Number of Replies: 849
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 06, 2007, 11:39:40 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Allison Quets made headlines around the world when she allegedly kidnapped her 17-month-old twins across the border into Canada this past Christmas. She had given them up for adoption, but did she do so under duress? She now says she suffered from a pregnancy disease called hyperemesis that left her malnourished and sleep deprived to the point of complete exhaustion. See an exclusive interview with Allison from behind bars where she awaits trial on two counts of international parental kidnapping, with a possible sentence of three years behind bars. Then, look inside the life of a woman who is only three-and-a-half months pregnant and so sick with hyperemesis she spends most of her day on the bathroom floor. Plus, find out what all women need to know about hyperemesis: How you get it, how to know you have it, and whether it could kill you or your unborn child. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More April 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

April 7, 2007, 11:00 am CDT

Hyperemesis

I am a mother of 4 children including a set of twins who suffered from severe hyperemesis with all my pregnancies. The 1st was a son and I was 30. I vomited 10 - 12 times a day and was admitted to the hospital several times for IVs. My 2nd was a daughter and although unimaginable, things were worse with this one and I spent the majority of my time on the bathroom floor attached to an IV for hydration and sustenance as I couldn't even keep water down. I lost 30lbs with this pregnancy and was sick right through the delivery. Immediately after delivery I was fine & right back to eating. I decided to have my tubes tied as it was inconceivable that I could go through that ever again. When my daughter passed away at the age of 3, I considered having a segregate to have another child but was told by the Dr that most likely this pregnancy would be fine and if not that the treatment options were much better and the hyperemesis would be able to be controlled. I had artificial insemination and was pregnant with identical girls & fraternal boys. Sick from week 3, I had a main line IV inserted into my neck and began the search for a treatment for the hyperemesis. I carried all 4 for 18 weeks at which time the Drs. insisted on a reduction of the identicals due to a twin to twins transfer in which 1 was severely under developed & the other severely over developed. From week 3 - delivery (8 weeks early) I never ate a bite of food and even a sip of water would come back up. I was 40 when Ben & Matt were delivered and thank God they were very healthy at 4 lbs 3 oz & 4 lbs 7 ozs. I am not sure why this happens but know that I feel the urge to vomit when I see a pregnant woman after having 3 of the worst pregnancies imaginable. I look forward to seeing the show to see if there is an explanation as to why this occurs and if the treatments 8 years later have gotten better results. I feel for any woman who has this experience and hope they too find answers from your experts. Shelley, CT
 
April 7, 2007, 5:00 pm CDT

Hyperemesis Gravidarum

I know what Allison suffered from as I am surviving it now. I am currently 15 weeks and 2 days pregnant with our first child. I have been suffering from HG since week 6 when I was admitted to the ER for dehydration. Since having HG I've been limited to eating small portions of very bland food (noodles, toast, chicken broth, etc), with severe nausea and vomiting. As of today I've lost a total of 39 lbs because of HG. I take 4mg of Zofran every 4 hours so that the small portions of food and liquid I can eat/drink stay down - although I'm still vomiting once or twice a day. I also take Reglan, Pepcid, Unisom, and Tylenol for the nausea and constant headaches from being dehydrated. These medications have helped me to sustain my life to the point that I can go work as a teacher and then come home (although HG has already caused me to miss 10 days of work thus far). Yesterday was the first day I saw my nephews in 2 months, when I normally was able to visit them every weekend or so. This disease has taken my normal, active life and turned it upside down. Now, my husband does all of the housework, because I do not have the energy to do so. Showering and getting dressed are sometimes my biggest tasks for the day.  Although my husband and I had decided that we would have two children in our family, HG has decided for us that our family will only be blessed with one.

 

Thank you Dr. Phil for exposing the public to this horrible disease. We need the public to be educated on Hyperemesis Gravidarum so that a cause and a cure can be found - so that our daughters will not have to suffer like we are today. Without public awareness on HG, women all over the world are suffering in silence. Let's change that today.

 
April 7, 2007, 5:07 pm CDT

My Experience with Hyperemesis Gravidarum

Dear Dr. Phil,

I am writing to you, like all these other women, to tell parts of my story in the hopes of getting some real help. We have all suffered with a pain that I can only describe as heart shattering. I have had three experiences with HG, none successful. No words could possibly explain the overwhelming saddness I have felt trying to heal. There is an emptiness that will never truly heal as I accept the fact that I am terrified to ever try again.
Though I have many memories from the illness, I will tell the ones that stand out in my mind with such vividness that my heart aches now even two years after my last attempt.
I believe with everything in me that I would be dead now had I kept on trying.
The most painful memory stands out with my third attempt. I could not make it past 5 months. I lost 46 pounds. I was throwing up blood and bile at least 30 times a day, and for the last few weeks had blood not just trickling from my nose in nosebleeds, but spraying out violently as I wretched. All day and night.
At first I was suffering at home, trying several medications. None worked, not even the one I had to administer myself by needle into my leg and arm muscle. I was weak, unable to even think about eating or drinking even a sip of water, and unable to get a handle on any of it. I was on 4 medications in hospital. They managed to get my symptoms under control at about 3 months for 2 days and told me I was fine and should go home. The only reason I was fine was because I had a chemical soup being fed to me through I.V. So when they took me off everything, all at once, after only 2 days of peace... of course a few hours after being removed from medication, I was even more violently ill than when I had originally gone in to hospital. They could not get me stable again.
I would dream about swimming through a sea of orange juice when I could manage to fall asleep at all... I guess my body was so dehydrated that it started telling me I needed vitamins, liquids, nutrition.
They hooked me up so I could hear my baby's heartbeat, and it was beautiful. I felt such a saddness knowing that with the way things were going I wouldn't make it and knowing I would have to choose. I can still hear my baby's heartbeat now. I will never forget it.
One afternoon, I went to the washroom to splash some water on my face, got dizzy, sat on the toilet to stabilize myself, and woke up in the bathtub beside me. I rang the call button, and nobody came. So I pulled myself out and crawled to my bed on my hands and knees, crying and dragging the IV machine behind me, too tired to walk and no energy to stand, I sat on the floor by my bed and waited for someone to come, and cried. I called my mother and told her I knew I was dying and asked her to help me. The helplessness she must have felt.
At this point, I couldn't sleep because the motion in my mind from my dreams would send me into fits of wretching for hours.
I ended up terminating my pregnancy out of what I thought was necessity to save my own life due to lack of proper resources.  After leaving the hospital in wheelchair, I concentrated on physical recovery. It took a week and a half before I could really even swallow water, or anything else because of the pain, due to rips in my esophagus and lesions and tears in my throat lining. Even a full year later I developed problems with my gallbladder.. I've since learned is due to the illness.
The second attempt left it's own set of scars that fuels me now to do something about the injustice these sufferers were, and are still faced with. I was sent a psychiatrist while in hospital with my second attempt who would wait outside my bathroom door while I wretched to tell me I was overreacting. I was just pregnant, and that I must not want my baby. It makes me sick to think about. How could the medical profession that I came to for help kick me so hard while I was down? I even had a nurse angry with me for throwing up after she'd given me an entire dose of gravol through I.V. (Gravol made me feel even sicker... and I told them that, but surprise, they didn't believe me).
I far from received adequate care and resent being told I didnt want my children. Having a doctor pat your leg and tell you you are a wasting use of the hospitals beds as "there are a lot of other people much sicker than you dear", made me feel horribly alone. As one Emergency ward doc put it after observing me for a total of 5 minutes and taking no blood and conducting no tests.
It's taken me two years to be able to talk about it. Now I have vowed to myself that I will do whatever I have to do to spread the word and help as many women suffering with this illness as I can.
On June 24th of this year me and best friend will be walk/running from London to Toronto, Ontario, ending at Sick Kids hospital where a helpline is located for women suffering and their families. This is all to raise money and donate it to HG research. It will take 6 days, 50 kms per day, 5 kms per hour for 10 hours a day. We are calling it 'The Journey of Hope - to help pave the way for HG sufferers and their children.' We know its not as far as some others have gone for other illnesses, but it is as much as time will allow for now. I would walk around the world and back to find a cure to end this needless suffering. That will be followed by a fundraising dinner in which I am trying to gather as many guests as possible. Dr. Phil.. would you like to come? :)
I thank the HER foundation with everything in my being because after losing 3 children, it was the only place I could find that told me, without a doubt, I am not alone. There are no words that can express my gratitude. There are others. It is not in my head, and I did and do want my children, and I pray that I have even a quarter of the strength as Anne Marie and her co-founders have, so I too will be able to fight right along side them to help even just one woman.
Thank you Dr. Phil for any help you may give us. Please help separate fact from fiction with this illness once and for all... We need to be told by a medical professional that it is not just a figment of our imaginations, because the pain is so real it is absolutely unimaginable.

 
April 7, 2007, 5:34 pm CDT

Hyperemesis

Hi

 

My name is Jenny, and I was honored to be present for the taping of this show. I am an active member and moderator of a forum for women suffering from and supporting others with Hyperemesis. You can find us at http://forums.helpher.org/index.php .

 

My heart aches for Alison and for all women who have endured HG, it is a horrendous disease that completely takes over your life. I have been pregnant 7 times, I have four living sons, and four babies in Heaven. You can read more about that in my profile.

 

I am anxious to see how this segment is received.

 
April 7, 2007, 5:43 pm CDT

God bless the women who suffer from this.

I had never heard of hyperemesis until now. I had heard some women say that they were sick throughout thier pregnancy. I was very fortunate. I was not hardly sick at all with both pregnancies. From what I've read about it it's not common. But women who have it suffer dreadfully. I don't know if this mother did what she did because of her illness.
 
April 7, 2007, 5:55 pm CDT

04/11 Twin Tug of War

Quote From: snaser

I am a mother of 4 children including a set of twins who suffered from severe hyperemesis with all my pregnancies. The 1st was a son and I was 30. I vomited 10 - 12 times a day and was admitted to the hospital several times for IVs. My 2nd was a daughter and although unimaginable, things were worse with this one and I spent the majority of my time on the bathroom floor attached to an IV for hydration and sustenance as I couldn't even keep water down. I lost 30lbs with this pregnancy and was sick right through the delivery. Immediately after delivery I was fine & right back to eating. I decided to have my tubes tied as it was inconceivable that I could go through that ever again. When my daughter passed away at the age of 3, I considered having a segregate to have another child but was told by the Dr that most likely this pregnancy would be fine and if not that the treatment options were much better and the hyperemesis would be able to be controlled. I had artificial insemination and was pregnant with identical girls & fraternal boys. Sick from week 3, I had a main line IV inserted into my neck and began the search for a treatment for the hyperemesis. I carried all 4 for 18 weeks at which time the Drs. insisted on a reduction of the identicals due to a twin to twins transfer in which 1 was severely under developed & the other severely over developed. From week 3 - delivery (8 weeks early) I never ate a bite of food and even a sip of water would come back up. I was 40 when Ben & Matt were delivered and thank God they were very healthy at 4 lbs 3 oz & 4 lbs 7 ozs. I am not sure why this happens but know that I feel the urge to vomit when I see a pregnant woman after having 3 of the worst pregnancies imaginable. I look forward to seeing the show to see if there is an explanation as to why this occurs and if the treatments 8 years later have gotten better results. I feel for any woman who has this experience and hope they too find answers from your experts. Shelley, CT

My first pregnancy was normal, I had my son at 19. But from the third week I was sick with my daughter, whom I didn't get pregnant with till I was 30. I was hospitalized 5 times for dehydration, 4 for pre-term labor. I had difficulty getting pre-natal care because of it, and the fact that I was on Medicaid. I had 2 doctors drop me as a patient, and finally had to travel almost 150 miles to find one to take me. I lost 30 pounds, gained back the 30 after the medicine with only a net gain of 10 pounds.

 

I finally got the last doctor that dropped me, to prescribe me Zofran, which I took until delivery. Praise God my daughter was born healthy, at 6lbs 1oz...........

 

I know I already have two, but I want another child so bad, I'm not so sure it's worth it. I am a staunch anti-abortion person, but even it crossed my mind.

 

Even now, certain smells, foods, sounds and even a video game my husband played while I was sick makes me nauseous. LOL my daughter was even in a ER room last week (for a bout of tonsilitis) that I was treated in, and it made me sick to my stomach to be there.

 

I am still, over two years later, having some lasting effects from that.

 

May God bless you all, and I hope a treatment is found soon.

 
April 7, 2007, 11:02 pm CDT

HG 1 Year Ago

 I'm almost scared to watch this show.  I was also diagnosed with HG shortly after Christmas of 2005 and it was at this time that I found out I was pregnant with twins.  My doctor was amazing.  I showed up at his office, with my husband practically carrying me, and within a few hours I was on home IV health care.  For months, a nurse would come change my dressings and help me adjust my Zofran pump.  I think the only thing I really "drank" during the first couple of months was Lactated Ringers from my IV.  During the worst of it, my husband would help me sponge bathe.  I was too weak to take a shower, and couldn't take a tub bath due to the IV lines.  I couldn't brush my teeth everyday, as that would start the vomiting again.  (My teeth are now stained from the bile eating away at the enamel).  I also had to invest in "adult undergarments" since I would lose bladder control from the pressure and spasms of wretching.

At my worst, I alternated between:  wishing I had never gotten pregnant, pleading with God for the misery to end, begging my husband to kill me and desperately trying to keep down frozen carrot slices so that my babies could get SOMETHING.  I was about 110 lbs. when I became pregnant and at my HG peak, weighed 90.  By the end of my pregnancy, I was up to a whopping 127.

HG sucks all of the joy out of pregnancy.  There were many occassions when I was CONVINCED that the babies were trying to kill me.  I would lay on the sofa, stare at my belly and wait to die. What I find horrifying, is that my case of HG is probably not even one of the really bad ones.  Bad, yes... but by the middle of my second trimester I was off all medications and able to eat (albeit a  limited menu).  There are so many women out there who go through this condition throughout the entire pregnancy.  Some are even so severe that they must terminate the pregnancy in order to live.

I want to watch this show, to see what Ms. Quets has to say.  I'm also scared to watch it because I have a feeling that I'll be sobbing the whole show, remembering how horrible it all was, and knowing that if not for the support of my husband, family, and doctor, I could easily be where she is now.
 
April 7, 2007, 11:05 pm CDT

FINALLY!!

Thank you Dr. Phil for finally drawing attention to this horrible disease.  Many women suffer from HG and are told we have " morning sickness."  The effects of HG last long after the 9 months of pregnancy (for those lucky enough to make it) and we need to speak out about our experiences. 
 
April 8, 2007, 1:08 am CDT

looking back...

Funny thing about children... they grow, they begin to question, they seek answers. The twins, their mothers illness is truly horrible, but in a caring society should not have caused the loss of her children but caused someone to help. There are many isolated who have no immediate family to step in and help and are not blessed with the means to 'hire' help... sad  To think that there is the possibility that people desperate for there own would take her babies rather then offer to help her 'and' her children in her moment of weakness.... sad

There is no paper, signed or not (signed under duress or influence of any kind should not be considered valid) that change the fact that the children have rights. They have an undeniable right to family, they have a blood right and no court decision will change the fact that they are their mother's children and she is their mother. That clearly she loves her children and does not want to be separated from them. Eventually the twins will seek their own answers, no matter what any court decides, they will discover their mother's plight and desperate attempt to be with them.... what can you imagine they will think of the people who call themselves their parents when they learn truth?

What would anyone think knowing that they were basically stolen from a loving mother?

I pray this mother is released, there is family and others who help her to achieve the return of her children. Justice would be allowing the twins to go home. 

 

And if a court decides it is just to allow the children to not be returned, at the very least their mother has given them a great gift... when they grow and question and seek their answers they will learn how brave their mothers was, what she was willing to risk to be with them, they will never wonder why their mother gave them away or if they were wanted, loved.  

 

It happens more often then it should. I know three mothers who have lost their children because of illness. One had appendix surgery with complications by the time she was released her daughters were in another state and she no longer had legal custody. One because of problems from being diabetic, she struggled too long to remain home, was seriously ill and when she was able to return home she her sons were gone, she was evicted from her home,  she lost her legal attempts for their return. One was in an accident, she was hospitalized for months, her children were taken from the person they were left with and went from foster care to adoption. I saw that court case, she was alone with no legal representative and pleaded for help. She did not understand, she did nothing wrong. She lost. She was allowed one visit before they were adopted.

 

 
April 8, 2007, 9:39 am CDT

04/11 Twin Tug of War

My name is Jenny. I have had hyperemesis with all of my pregnancies. It is a horrible debilitating disease that takes over your life for weeks or months. I was honored to be present for the taping of this show, and I am curious to see how it is received. I am a moderator in the hyperemesis forums, and we see so many women there who are desparately sick, and they rarely have adequate medical or family support. It is about time that hyperemesis is seen for the terrible disease that it is, and that people are able to step up and talk about it.

 

Thank you Dr. Phil!

 
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last