Topic : 04/12 Twin Tug of War

 

As I watched this show I was in total disbelief.  Finally, someone, many people know what it was like for me 23 years ago.  I don't believe this disease had a name or anyone knew it existed 23 years ago.  I suffered for 4 months with constant nausea and vomitting.  I remember that I couldn't wake up for one minute without being sick.  I struggled but went to work every day. My friends all felt so bad for me.  The would find me sitting on the low wall across the street from work because I couldn't make it into the building.  Or in the ladies room with tears streaming down my face because I just vomitted again. Or sitting at my desk trying to get a few crackers and water down my throat.  My sister felt terrible when she came to visit me for the weekend because I was pale, and weak and just contantly sick.  YET, when I went to the doctor he told me I had lost weight and I was dehydrated. So I had two choices, go in the hospital and go on intravenous and probably be sick throughout the whole pregnancy or abort.  But he was strongly against the abortion. My husband and I decided to abort. I couldn't go on like this. I just couldn't imagine another 5 months like the last 4. You could tell the doctor was digusted with us. I have thought about this decision for 23 years.  Did I do the right thing?  What kind of person am I to have an abortion? I have heard of other people who were sick and stuck it out.

 

Thank heavens for this show.  It is now an official disease.  It has affected many women. It brought to light today that it is not just morning sickness or a little discomfort.  It is a horrible sickness.  I also saw what that one woman went through after going to the hospital and going on intravenous.  Her life was and is hell right now.  She is still on intravenous at home. She can't work, and her family is falling apart.  I in no way feel guilty anymore about my decision. I had a husband and 3 step children at the time.  I couldn't turn my back on them and I wasn't strong enough to stick out this disease. Thank you for letting all those pregnant people going through this now, that they are not alone, and people do understand.

 

As far as the parents who took the two twins.  They are horrible people who should be ashamed of themselves.  It took 5 hours in the lawyers office to talk her into signing the papers and she immediately wanted them back.  They knew she was not in the right mind to make this decision and they forced it out of her. Worst of all, this mother tried for 16 months to get her children back and was unsuccessful.  Now people want to know what it will do to the children to leave the only parents they have known after 18 months.  It should never have gone on that long. The courts should be ashamed of themselves for making this situation worse.

I am a mother through adoption as well. Also from China. I have great sympathy for the mothers out there who have endured this apparently horrific and life-theatening disease. But, in my opinion, that is only one part of this story. Does this woman have the ability to "see around corners" to quote Dr. Phil? She signed over rights to her twins TWICE. She was 5 weeks out from their births. How many chances should she have to change her mind and end up back in the lawyers office. Does this not show emotional instability?

And then, she kidnaps these children and takes them over the border into Canada!! So, it's not kidnapping when the children are adopted!!! Seriously!!! Is she still suffering from hyper emesis? What is her reason for that bad decision? Does this woman really show good reasoning and decision making ability?

I was amazed at how the parents, yes the parents, of these children were downplayed and totally invalidated. The couple in NC are the parents, period. And, Dr. Phil, I am really dissappointed in how you obviously sided with this unstable woman. She absolutely is where she belongs. What if she decides to take the law into her own hands again and hurts someone?

Give me a break!!!!!!

I am a mother through adoption as well. Also from China. I have great sympathy for the mothers out there who have endured this apparently horrific and life-theatening disease. But, in my opinion, that is only one part of this story. Does this woman have the ability to "see around corners" to quote Dr. Phil? She signed over rights to her twins TWICE. She was 5 weeks out from their births. How many chances should she have to change her mind and end up back in the lawyers office. Does this not show emotional instability?

And then, she kidnaps these children and takes them over the border into Canada!! So, it's not kidnapping when the children are adopted!!! Seriously!!! Is she still suffering from hyper emesis? What is her reason for that bad decision? Does this woman really show good reasoning and decision making ability?

I was amazed at how the parents, yes the parents, of these children were downplayed and totally invalidated. The couple in NC are the parents, period. And, Dr. Phil, I am really dissappointed in how you obviously sided with this unstable woman. She absolutely is where she belongs. What if she decides to take the law into her own hands again and hurts someone?

Give me a break!!!!!!

I am a mother through adoption as well. Also from China. I have great sympathy for the mothers out there who have endured this apparently horrific and life-theatening disease. But, in my opinion, that is only one part of this story. Does this woman have the ability to "see around corners" to quote Dr. Phil? She signed over rights to her twins TWICE. She was 5 weeks out from their births. How many chances should she have to change her mind and end up back in the lawyers office. Does this not show emotional instability?

And then, she kidnaps these children and takes them over the border into Canada!! So, it's not kidnapping when the children are adopted!!! Seriously!!! Is she still suffering from hyper emesis? What is her reason for that bad decision? Does this woman really show good reasoning and decision making ability?

I was amazed at how the parents, yes the parents, of these children were downplayed and totally invalidated. The couple in NC are the parents, period. And, Dr. Phil, I am really dissappointed in how you obviously sided with this unstable woman. She absolutely is where she belongs. What if she decides to take the law into her own hands again and hurts someone?

Give me a break!!!!!!

I'm a mother of four year old twins and this story captured my heart.  I myself had a terrible pregnacy and almost died after having my children.  This women was in no position to put these children up for adoption.  I blame the legal team of the adoptive parents.  When she had to call 911 after signing the paper work, that had to ring a bell! 

I remeber coming home after having my twins and sitting in the car with traffic going by and putting my head down because the motion mad me so dizzy.  Four days later I landed back in the hospital with strock level blood pressure.  I was 115 when I got pregnant one week after birth I was 210 pounds and it was prue fluid.

I believe Allison came home sick and emotionaly drained.  She should have been flooded with help with the children and someone should have taken her hand and said "Your body and mind will heal and everything will be fine just rest."  Instead someone drove her to a attorney office with people waiting to make good on a bad situation.  I beleive these people seen two beautiful babies and didn't reconize the fragile lady that sit beside them. 

She took those children and left the country, that's a mothers desperation.  At that point she had no care for the Justice System because they failed her from the start. I myself wish she would have never been caught.

I hope the sun will shine on this lady soon and her nightmare will be over. 

Thank you for airing the show today bringing attention to the pregnancy-related disease, Hyperemesis Gravidarum.  I am a relative of a woman who experienced HG with her first (and last, by choice) pregnancy.  It is such a devastating disease, especially during a time in a woman's life that is supposed to be one of the happiest.  The physical and emotional distress to the pregnant woman caused by this disease is devastating, and touches the entire family and friends who either want to help and don't know how to or just don't understand the condition so often just make matters worse for the poor mom-to-be.  The worry associated with watching a pregnant woman experience these horrible symptoms and the worry about the unborn child are incredibly difficult to deal with for everyone in the family. 

 

It seems doctors are often not aware of (or disregard)  this disease's symptoms, thus giving the pregnant woman the wrong medical advice with lifetime repercussions, such as advising an abortion or allowing the woman to suffer more without proper medical care for HG, thereby encouraging her decision not to have more children.  There is very little known about this disease and little research has been done.  Thanks to Kimberly and the HelpHer Foundation who are finally offering some advice/help/support for woman going through HG.  However, much more research  needs to be done as well as knowledge about it being made available to doctors and patients.

 

Thanks for beginning this process of public awareness about HG in the national media.  I would love to see an entire show devoted to this subject in the near future.  Please help these poor pregnant woman, their families, and most of all, the unborn children!  They need expert medical care for their disease, resources and support...and money, of course, to fund research.

 

Sincerely,

L.King

Clearwater, FL

For those of you who have read other messages by me in regard to other topics, you may be very surprised by this one.  I have not seen the show yet, but I read the transcript.  Admittedly, I was stunned to hear of this disease for the first time.  I never had even a vague idea.  To all of you who have suffered so much due to this condition I just want to say bless every one of you.  It is beyond me to fathom the depths of this illness and all its ramifications.  Thanks to Dr. Phil for letting ignorant people such as I become more aware.  In only reading about it, I feel emotionally drained.  I don't normally do this, but all the victims of this will be prayed for by me.  It is all I can do. 

 

I will probably post my ever present opinion about the case on the program, but that is secondary to this.  Thanks for reading.

I too suffered with Hyperemisis through 3 pregnancies.  I had infertility issues and finally conceived my son at 2 years of going to a fertility doctor.  I was so happy to be pregnant and couldn't wait to become a mother.  At 4 weeks into the pregnancy I started with the hyperemisis and it was so bad that I lost 20 lbs. in 4 weeks, by 8 weeks I was in the hospital hooked up to IV's and medicine.  I was released to go home, but was on bedrest and had at home IV and meds for the rest of the pregnancy. I hit such a depression and had such panic attacks from all of this and although I wanted my son so badly you cannot think of that when you are that sick.  My son was born healthy and weighed 7 lbs. 13 oz.  I was concered about becoming pregnant again, but I wanted so badly to give my son a sibling.  My doctor said that just because you have hyperemisis with one pregnancy that is no guarantee that you will have it for future pregnancies.  I trusted what he said and what a mistake.  I was just as sick for the 2nd, but then I miscarried, got pregnant a third time and was so sick that I thought I was losing my mind.  I had a 2 year old to chase after and was as sick as I was with the first pregnancy.  I hit rock bottom.  My mom took my son for a day to give me a break and I went and terminated the pregnancy.  I hate myself for doing this because I wanted that baby so badly, but I knew I was so bad that I would probably not had made it through the pregnancy psychologically and probably would have killed myself.

 

After watching the show it is comforting to me to know that others have had this disease and understand what I went through and know that when I terminated the pregnancy, I was not in my right mind.

If ever there was a case to activate the feminist community, this is it!  I am outraged that this woman has been jailed for 'kidnapping' her own children, particularly since it is clear that she signed papers while she was seriously ill and sleep deprived.  Even given her physical condition, she was clearly trying desparately to maintain custody.  Where were social services?  Why wasn't she counseled and offered foster care prior to discharge from the hospital?  The people who dropped the ball in this case are the ones who should be prosecuted.  I have four children (I'm 59 years old now) and I would have taken my children and fled, had something like this happened to me.  Mothers understand this desparation.

 

Disgusted,

Paula

TN

I have seen with cases like this, as with many other cases, where the legal system in this country seems to have no common sense. 

From what I've heard, other countries more recognize post partum depression when it comes to cases where moms harm their children.

I agree with others who say 'where is the help for these women before somethng terrible happens'. 

It sounds to me that Allison was an ill woman who was taken advantage of instead of helped, and is now being punished by a system that that needs to look at themselves as the ones in the wrong....not Allison.