Quote From: nomorehgDr. Phil,
Thank you so much for addressing HG and for assisting Allison with addressing her medical condition so that the nation can begin to understand her story and not miss the 'duress' portion.
Please consider taping and airing an entire show or a series of shows addressing all of HG. There is so much more to this disease and clearly many whom have not suffered from it still do not get the full picture (based on your message board) and those of us who have dealt with it could really use your help. Here are some suggested topics to think about covering withing HG:
1. Telling the story of the countless women who had HG 10-50 years ago who never had help because OBs didn't know what to do. (There are still women today that deal with this even though it's more widely discussed among OB professionals.)
2. Addressing how family members don't know who to cope with it. This disease hits really hard when family members (parents, spouses, etc.) tell the woman "it's all in their head" or "to just get up and do something, don't just lie there," etc. Additionally, these family members can get very frustrated, thus verbal abuse and potentially physical abuse (through denial of help) can easily take place.
3. Addressing the children and their needs while they wait for mommy to give birth.
4. Addressing the pain endured by the marriage while everyone waits for HG to end. This is the big ticket!! Marriages suffer, hurt and they simply are on hold while the wife is very ill and nearly non-existant in the marriage relationship and the husband is left to tend to his wife's every need, hold his job to financially support the family, accept that there will be no physical contact and intimacy until the wife heals from the pregnancy, and in many cases can't even be in the same room as his wife because his smell will make her vomit. This is so distructive and yet we HG survivors have endured it, are dealing with it and no one knows how to help. Then, once the pregnancy is over, if the marriage is still in existance, both have to some how adjust to life with a new baby (if all goes well with the pregnancy) while spending a significant amount of time trying to heal the marriage and repair all of the damage from the pregnancy. My husband and I actually devoted an entire year to this healing process. This means I planned not to work and instead spend time at home to help our older child heal from missing me so much through pregnancy and help our marriage heal. Intimacy is the hardest obstical to over come for a HG mom.
5. Finally, helping the HG mother heal emotionally. We moms feel robbed of so many joys as our pregnancies are nightmares. We are damaged and have a hard time looking at food for several weeks post-partem and live with fear that we might get sick again. We never want to be pregnant again, and thus deal with the loss of knowing we can't have more kids unless we are blessed through adoption. It's a rough rollercoaster. We are also so scared of intimacy for several reasons and we often times can't stand the our home. I actually repainted our house and got all new furniture during my healing process because I couldn't stand being in the bedroom that I spent countless hours getting sick in.
This disease is so hard to over come. So much more needs to be addressed. And yes, so many health care professionals don't get it! I had great treatment during my last pregnancies, but when I went to tell them about the show... it fell on death ears and I left the conversation feeling as though they look at me as a wack-o. Very sad. It's not just morning sickness or a bad case of the ickies (as I commonly heard)... it's so much more.
Thanks again Dr. Phil.
I totally agree with everything you have written.
The worst part is that after everyone has fallen to the side while you have this disease, your husband is often the only person left to help you. ... It is hard to have a normal and healthy relationship with your husband when it gets eroded so badly. HG is a huge stressor for husbands who have to fight along with you to get help... sometimes they are your only advocate (if you are even that lucky).
...It is difficult to have a normal relationship with someone if they can not come near you because their smell makes you vomit. ... My husband had to wash with an unscented soap, use a certain shampoo, stop wearing cologne, and had to brush his teeth before coming near me and sometimes that wasn't even enough.
To save our marriage we entered marriage counselling for the duration of the pregnancy. I highly recomend any couple going through HG to do the same.
Allison Quets made headlines around the world when she allegedly kidnapped her 17-month-old twins across the border into Canada this past Christmas. She had given them up for adoption, but did she do so under duress? She now says she suffered from a pregnancy disease called hyperemesis that left her malnourished and sleep deprived to the point of complete exhaustion. See an exclusive interview with Allison from behind bars where she awaits trial on two counts of international parental kidnapping, with a possible sentence of three years behind bars. Then, look inside the life of a woman who is only three-and-a-half months pregnant and so sick with hyperemesis she spends most of her day on the bathroom floor. Plus, find out what all women need to know about hyperemesis: How you get it, how to know you have it, and whether it could kill you or your unborn child. Join the discussion.
