Topic : 04/12 Twin Tug of War

I would have liked to hear from the adoptive family also but they declined to participate, so if this story was heard only from one side, it was of their own doing.

 

The contract that Allison signed cannot possibly be considered valid, perhaps legally, but in no way morally or ethically. I think the adoptive family appears to have used her incapacity to their own advantage. There is no way they didn't know how quickly she wanted to rescind the contract. You have three days to cancel a contract for carpeting, a car, a washing machine but not something as life changing as this? That doesn't even make sense. In Virginia, at least it used to be this way, once a child is released for adoption, they are put in a temporary placement for 30 days. During that time the birth mother can change her mind. After the 30 days, the adoptive family takes custody. This alleviates a lot of heartache. To not have some period of time to allow for a change of heart is inhumane and just invites problems.

 

The fact that she had paid substantially for fertility treatments is the deciding factor for me. No one would do that just to turn around and give the children up for adoption. It is so clear that she signed under duress and in a diminshed capacity that anyone with an ounce of decency would have told her to get some counseling, medical care and legal representation, then decide whether she was capable of raising these children. If the adoptive family had been at all concerned about avoiding any potential fight or what is truly in the best interest of the children, they would have wanted everything to be exactly correct. It looks more to me like they figured once they had possession, they would fight it out in the courts.

 

I hope this doesn't turn out to be a protracted legal battle where the children are finally returned to Allison after many years when some court determines that the contract was faulty. In so many of these cases, the adoptive families just hang on hoping that at some point they will win by default because it had taken so long. I, could not, in good conscience hold on to a child that came into my life under such circumstances.

They have only had the children for two years 24/7 because they did not return them to their MOTHER in the beginning when she changed her mind.  There is a reason why most states have a waiting period.  NC has a two-week waiting period.  If the adoption had taken place here (where they live) then she would have had HER children back immediately.  HMMMM!  I wonder if they knew that.

I hadn't thought of it that way, but that's got to be what's going on ~ caring mothers are looking at Alison with their 'mommy empathy' and failing to see the risk involved.  Meanwhile, the children need care and thankfully they are receiving it from the adoptive parents.  I'd hate to see those children staying in limbo for years, getting bounced around while Alison tries to get herself together.

 

I could see the adoptive parents taking one look at Alison and one look at those adoptive children and being absolutely heartsick at the prospect of the twins spending a life with her.  A raving, unstable woman can seem like a monster to a tiny child.

Post Partum Depression.  Not PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

 

 

 You stated that your physician does not see a problem 9.5 out of 10 times.  That means out of 100 women, that 5 of them will have problems even if they are healthy.  That's 5% of her patients, with the national average being between 1 and 2 % suffer from HG.

I do agree that a healthy eating, sleeping and physical exercise, that the likelyhood of complications is less but that does not mean that  it does not happen to healthy people.

I wonder what your physician friend would say to your  comment??

I have to thank the producers for exposing Hyperemesis on the show.  I have two young children and suffered from the disease w/ both pregnancies (and a miscarriage until 9 weeks in-between my two children.)  My youngest is now almost 3 1/2 and I thought I was over the lasting emotional effects of the HG.  However, reading everyones' experiences has brought me to tears as I remember well the horrific suffering.  With my 1st pregnancy,  I had to remain in a dark hallway, void of any light or noise (I wore ear plugs.)  Each day was spent laying completely still and fixating on a point in the room.  I was so nauseas I could not talk, read, listen to music or watch tv.  My quality of life was zero, other than the little miracle I had growing inside me.  I braved it a second time only to give my daughter a sibling.  That is love for you!!  I honestly want a third baby now but really don't think it would be physically or emotionally healthy for my family to suffer HG again.  With all I do as a mother and a wife, I fear the house would fall apart!  I still remember my husband trying to figure out the bills and everything else I had always taken care of.  The saint that he was, he'd force me into the bathtub once a week for my dr's appt and I remember him washing my hair as I'd be vomiting in ziplock bags.  It was so frustrating for other pregnant moms to say, "Have you tried saltines?  Ginger Ale,"  ugggh, It's so nice to find people who know exactly how it feels to miss a whole season of your life, and that of your child if you are going through a subsequent pregnancy.  God bless all of us mothers and I pray they find a better remedy for HG before our daughters are ready to become mothers.  Thanks again, Dr. Phil, for validating our misery!!

Please continue to get the message of hyperemesis out - I had an unusual case because my first pregnancy was a typical pregnancy.  When I got pregnant the second time and ended up on I.V's and a Reglan pump and diagnosed with hyperemesis I didn't understand what had happened and blamed myself and continually asked myself, "Is this real or am I just imagining this sickness?"  Thankfully I had a great support system around me, but hyperemesis is not only physically damaging it is emotionally damaging.  I could barely take care of my 4 year old and most of what I did each day was throw up or cry.   I am in my seventh month of pregnancy now and people often say to me, "You do not look pregnant at all" because of the weight I have lost and been unable to gain back.  Our baby boy right now is underweight and we are praying I can carry this baby full term and that he will gain what he needs to.   When we would tell people that I had hyperemesis they would have no idea what we were talking about - please continue to get this message out!  Thanks so much

I can't stop thinking about this story. It's so obvious how much she loves her children. For Goodness sake, somebody do the right thing for those kids. Give them back to their mother. Lives are being ruined. She has done nothing wrong.I can't believe she's in prison like some criminal. I have to believe this will have a happy ending

                                                                                                         Thoughts and prayers,

                                                                                                       Cisilee Phegley.

The woman's name is not Grace, it's Allison Quets.

I just wanted to say thank you for showing that yesterday.  My mom and my sister came to me and said that they were sorry because they didn't belive that HG was really as bad as I said.  They knew that I was sick but maybe thaught I was facking.  I was pretty much on bed rest from Aug 06 untill I had the baby in Jan 07.  I was 140 when I got preg and was 155 when I had her.  I took 4 Diclectin a day plus gravol.  Smells, movment anything mad me sick or feel like I was going to get sick.  There were time I couldn't even speak because I would throw up.  Couldn't brush my theeth, had to change my shampoo, soap.  No one could chew gum around me drink coffie.  I tryed everything.  Sometimes I couldn't even watch tv becuse it would make me sick, not sure why.  I suffered and it effected my 7 year old son alot.  I could't do anything at all dress him, feed him NOTHING.  Thank God for my mom who lived across the hall.  I did it all with only the support of my mother.  The father left when I was 8 weeks preg.  So the stress of that didn't help at all.  The really bad thing about this is that there are thing to this day that I still can't eat or smell.  My baby is 3 months and I still gag every morning, and I have to hide it from my son because he gets so upet to think mommy is still sick.  I had this problem as well when I was perg for my son.  I would have to say and GOD forgive me for saying it there were times I almost didn't go on with the preg because I couldn't take it anymore.  This disease doesn't only affect you phiscally but mentaly as well.  I lost everything almost.  My job whet months back on my rent.  I will NEVER have any more children because of this.  If you ever have a show just on HG I would give you my time.

 

Getting better

 

Karen.L