Topic : 04/12 Twin Tug of War

Thanks for covering this story.  Please continue to promote information on HG. 

I would love to tell my story with HG, but its too close to my heart and I just don't think I could type and make any sense about it.  Its a horrible disease that strikes a family at a point when they should be the happiest.  HG plays with a woman's mind as it debilitates and her body. 

 

I pray for Allison - that her children are returned to her quickly.

 

Personally, I think she and her children were most likely released from the hospital too soon - before she was sufficiently recovered from the HG and c-section.  Had the doctors kept them a little longer while Allison gained weight, strength, and healed, perhaps this story would never have come to be.

i allrady sad what i have to say i got so angry that i stop watching the show so that i could cooment on this discussion of this poor women that they hold capture for her own child stay before god allions because my god do answers prays

Isn't anyone interested in the babies? Yes a terrible thing happened to Allison and in ill health and desperation she gave up the twins, but they are bonded to the family they have been lviing with, this is all the family they know, to be torn away at 17 months can do untold damage. 

 

I also wonder why Allison's family did not support her when she was discharged from the hospital, terribly ill with two infants to care for.  How was it that her only help was an ex boyfriend who knew people who would take the babies?  Where was Allison's support system?

 

I can't help thinking there is more to this story than meets the eye.  Celtic

It breaks my heart reading all of these stories.  And although it saddens me to see so many women who are or have gone through what I am going through it is also a comfort to know that I am not alone ( I am writing this and am barely able to see my computer screen because of tears). 

 

THANK YOU Dr Phil for making this debilitating DISEASE a part of one of your shows.  Too often people think that the women who suffer are weak and pathetic and this is not the case.  What I have to say to all of these women is you are not weak, you are strong, you are a HERO, and it is time we find a cure.

What a wild story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Dr. Phil for doing this. It was eye-opening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been following this case since I first heard about it. What a sad and crazy situation. It seems from the media stories that her support system was spread out around the country, so it was not easy for her family or elderly (they had to be if she was in her 40's) parents to be by her side. Her friends probably just either had busy families, did not realize how sick she was, or were not local. We all know how life is in the 21st century! You can't tell someone is so sick from email!

I had HG more than once and totally sympathize with her. You find that after being so sick for months and unable to socialize (not much fun to be with!) -- you wear out your social support quickly. You realize who your real friends are! So many abandon us with HG. It just intensifies the stress and misery. Postpartum, women with HG often have not only depression, but also trauma. I looked on the HG site (www.helpher.org) and there is a poll that shows 60% of women with HG have trauma. This poor mom!!! I bet she was. In some of the press coverage, they have talked about how severe her HG was and how she weighed about 30 lbs less after delivery (at the time she signed away the babies). How can someone think a woman like that has the ability to make such a decision. Shame on these "professionals" who allowed this to happen. Don't they require a social worker in adoptions? Surely a health professional would know she was too ill and unable to make such a decision!

How could a woman who did not eat or sleep well for nearly 9 months, then cared for two babies - sometimes alone - be considered competent for such a huge decision! Many moms question themselves early on, it must be even more without a partner to say otherwise. I had HG and know it took me a long time to recover - well - for the most part. I was sleep deprived and exhausted in the early months and lost my memory - the only things I remember are from photos. It took me over six months to be able to make it through a whole day - caring for my child, my home and making meals. This mom only had a month - and she had a c-section! I know I couldn't figure out how to fix even simple things - my husband thought it was so strange. Before marriage and pregnancy, I was a working professional and owned a home. Now, I stay at home with my kids and still deal with leftover health problems, as does my child - probably due to HG. As with this mom, there are likely residual effects from HG - mentally and physically.

But, that does NOT mean she should lose her kids. Those problems are treatable. When you look at the video of her with her babies, you see a caring, smiling mother who obviously loves her kids. The kids are happy and playing - they don't look timid or fearful. People should be careful about assuming that how she is in jail is how she would be outside of jail, or that how she is now is how she would be with the kids without the stress of this court battle. What normal person, used to a free life, would not be changed by being confined, unable to work, and apart from the kids she wants? This new lawyer has to be expensive - that would be hard, too, when you don't work. We need to give this mom a chance.

And we haven't even seen the kids with the people who have them. How do we know how well they are caring for them? Really? You just can't assume things - there are plenty of adoption cases where the kids are abused or neglected. One story said the Needhams did not always allow the visits the judge ok'd. I have not seen anything in the media to confirm or deny these people's ability to care for them. We have to remember the mom wanted her kids back immediately and they said no. Why? What about that 911 tape - and her saying she just wanted to go home but couldn't. That is sad - is that how an adoption process goes? I've read that those people knew she changed her mind before they went to sign the adoption papers. If they love the kids, would they not want them to be with their mom? I find that odd. There is plenty of info about the trauma to kids from adoption. Could they not have done temporary custody or just helped her instead? Oh and did anyone notice that the Needhams have a teen. They are not childless. Wonder what he/she is like. Why would they be so insistent on her kids - esp if they have one? There are so many kids that really need a home. I guess it's the 'pretty, healthy baby' thing - the more needy foster kids are probably flawed or older. Obviously, this mom won't be able to have another child and they have taken the only ones she had. I find that very sad. What a loss.

Good grief - it's hard to imagine this! Taking babies away from a mother who was ill and still recovering - who spent so much money on invitro, etc. - is it just me, or is this truly insane. It seems so cruel! Why has the court not thrown this out by now? I guess it always goes back to money. Two healthy babies go for a high price here - as sad as that sounds! I wonder how much they paid the attorneys for the kids. Adoption is big business. Let's hope she gets them back soon before this gets worse. And let her out of jail! Being there definitely won't help her get back on her feet. I've read about people - real criminals - who's kids are in foster care until the parent is out. Why would you take kids from a mom and justify it because she was sick at the moment? I don't see any way to justify it. She was a working professional - an engineer - for something like 20 years at the same company. I think that says stability. What info do we have on the Needhams? Shouldn't someone ask that? They are not talking - why? There are a lot of questions here and I don't think it's a sure thing that the kids are better off with the other family. This mom needs to get out of jail and get some rest and support so she can be a mom again. It is obvious she did not want to lose them. What can we do to help this poor mom? Can someone post and let us know?

That's why you have Brooke Sheilds, who didn't do anything illegal, but got medical help to alleviate it.  Andrea Yates had Post Partum Psychosis (a step beyond the depression) where she actually carried out their murders.  I wouldn't want her babysitting anyone I care about.

 

Also, I see why the adoptive parents didn't come for the show.  They would have been harrassed by the general public as "the bad guys", making it unsafe if they get custody of the children.  People are vicious!  We'd like to see more people in the limelight with HG, just not those who would go commit a felony because of it.

Sorry, but that woman is wacko. I experienced HG with both of my pregnancies, with my two kids. I was hospitalized several times, was put on various meds and eventually on bedrest. Yes it was a miserable time, difficult on many levels, but at no time did I EVER consider putting my kids up for adoption.....NEVER. Just too strange for words. People can't go doing things like she did and think that because she is the children"s mother, that she should be excused. That is illogical, nutty thinking. Being a biological mother does not autonamtically make you a "good" "sane" or "safe" person to raise your kids.  My vote is she be prosecuted and sentenced for kidnapping and child endangerment.  I do feel compassion for her but I also have more compassion for her children and the adoptive parents.

I agree it would be great to do a show showing us normal women with HG who did nothing wrong other then getting sick.