Topic : 04/12 Twin Tug of War

I would have liked to hear Dr. Phil ask about when she obtained passports for the children.  I felt this point could have been delved into more- in regards to intent . I found the show very informative, as i had never heard of this condition before.

I was traumatised by HG. I do not claim to have PTSD but I can understand how HG can lead to a woman developing PTSD.

 

Things that were traumatizing to me were:

 

 -----> FEELING LIKE I WAS DYING SLOWLY

  - I am not trying to just say I felt really bad... I really felt like I was slowly dying before I had Zofran

.  

---->UNRELENTLESS VOMITING...

   - I was so hungry and thirsty, yet I could not hold anything down long enough for my thirst or hunger to be quenched.

 -  My muscles in the neck/throat and abdomen hurt from unrelenting wretching.

  - My throat became raw.

  - My eyes developed scary red areas where blood vessles broke. (I'm talking about big, blood red blotches the size of a quarter of an inch). 

  - I vomited blood.

  - I was unable to breath because my vomiting was so violent that I vomited through my mouth and nose at the same time. Food that I had moments earlier tried to choke down had become lodged in my nose and I continued to forcefully wretch which made it difficult to take in a breath. I desperately tried to blow my nose while wretching. This happened on more than one occaision.

  - I have even collapsed and uncontrollably vomited even in parking lots with traffic coming towards me (while I was heading towards my car).

 - Finally, I broke my water weeks before my due date (and consequently began labour) during an intense bout of wretching. 

 

  --------------All of this hapened even though I was being treated. I'd hate to think of what it would have been like without Zofran... I am sure I would have died.

 

  ------> REPEATEDLY DENIED HELP

  - I sought help from the medical profession repeatedly (a different OB each time) only to be told that it was normal to vomit during pregnancy. I managed to find one Dr. who took me seriously. (I saw at least 7 Dr.'s... not counting those in the ER). I even had one Dr. tell me that I was not sick, that this illness was in my head, and that she was going to ensure that I would not get another prescription from any other Dr. at that hospital (prescriptions that I needed  in order to live!)... I had no choice but to be treated at this hospital in order to have insurance coverage.  I had to fight almost every single day of my pregnancy in order to get the medical treatment I and my unborn son needed and deserved.

 

  -----> SOCIAL ISOLATION

  Imagine not being able to connect with the world at all. Imagine trying to keep a marriage going when you are begging your husband not to come near you because the way he smells makes you feel sick... even when you need his help and he is the only one left to help you.

 

  - I was not able to watch TV at one point... I couldn't even listen to it. It was if the images and sounds came to me in waves and made me vomit. I couldn't read because that also made me feel sick. How was I to keep up with news?

  - I couldn't stnad to talk on the telephone because the smell of the mouth piece of the phone made me queasy.

 - I couldn't visit anyone because the smell of their house would send me wretching.

  - I couldn't get near anyone because their deodorant, or perfume, or breath (even if they had just brushed their teeth) would send me to my knees to vomit. ... Imagine needing help from someone to pick you up off of the floor and help you to a toilet only to have that peron make you feel even more sick. I would beg people not to come near me to help and would rather vomit wherever I happend to be (even if it was in public).

  - I couldn't go to a restaurant

  - I was unable to enter a grocery store

  - We had to keep our windows shut (including in the car) in case an offensive smell would drift in.

 

 

  -----> INABILITY TO HAVE PROPER HYGEINE

 

 - I tired over and over to brush my teeth, only to vomit each time and leave my mouth with a film of stomach acid in my mouth.

  -There were times when I was unable to shower because I felt too weak to stand.

 -There were also times when I was unable to brush my hair because I felt too weak to lift a brush to my hair.

  - I once got ready to go to the hospital by picking my husband's dirty clothes up off of the floor to wear (he had been deployed by the army at the time and was not there to help me).

 

__________________________________________________________________________

 

  I think I will just stop here. I could keep going on about how traumatic this illness can be but I think that you can hopefully get the point from all that I have written already. Most of this stuff is just really awful. The part that was most traumatic was worrying about whether or not I, or my unborn baby would die.

 

 Thank you for shedding light on this disease.  I had hyperemesis with my son nearly 10 years ago.  I felt so alone because no one knew about it.  I felt there was no where to turn to get information and support. 

Dear SurvivingHG,

 

I feel for every single woman on this message board.  I suffered with hg for 16 weeks during this pregnancy (I'm having twins and I'm 23 weeks now).  I wanted to tell you that my doctor (finally) prescribed home treatment for me through a company called Matria.  I had a home IV and a Zofran pump, which worked much better than the pill or even getting it through the IV every four hours because the Zofran was kept at a "constant" level in my body with the pump.  The pump is small and easy to conceal if you have to go out.  Also, your headaches might be being caused by the Zofran, too.  It's one of the side effects.

 

God bless you and all of the other women that are suffering with this right now.  This episode brought back terrible memories for me and it was only seven weeks ago that my hg finally passed.  I thank God that my hg did not last throughout the whole pregnancy.

 

Take care,

Bev Brown

 

 

P.S. Here is a copy of my thank you to the Dr. Phil show for airing yesterday's episode.  It tells briefly my story:

 

 

Dear Dr. Phil,

Thank you so much for airing your episode yesterday about hyperemesis.  I can't tell you how validated I felt by watching your show after having so many people not take my "morning sickness" seriously, not even my ob/gyn.  This condition IS very serious and it didn't take a doctor to tell me.  There were days when I thought for sure I wasn't going to make it through the pregnancy if this continued for much longer.  Fortunately, I was one of the "lucky" ones.  My hyperemesis was completely gone by 16 weeks.  But during that time I constantly felt guilty for not being able to care for my 16 month old son and for not being able to cook or clean or work.  What was most amazing to me was how insensitive my ob/gyn was to this condition.  At a time when even the emergency room doctor and nurse felt that it was time for me to receive a PIC line and to be admitted (I had lost 30 pounds in one month, was starting to see blood when I vomited, and hadn't kept anything down in almost a week), my doctor told him to send me home and that he would "handle it outpatient on Monday."  And whenever I would call my ob he would tell me, "Well, your pregnant.  You're sick" and then he proceed to try to get off of the phone as if I was a bother to him.  I felt as though I was dying and nobody cared except for my husband.  My favorite comments that I received from people were, "Oh it could be worse.  You could have something terminal like cancer or lyme's disease" or "Yeah, I threw up everyday too.  You'll get over it."  Even after telling a friend today about the show and that one of the doctors said that it is a disease and that it can be fatal, her first response was to tell me that it's not a disease and that cancer is a disease, not hyperemesis.  There just needs to be more education so that there can be more understanding and compassion.

 

So thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you! for airing your episode yesterday.  If the rest of the world starts to learn about hyperemesis then hopefully women that have it in the future won't have to deal with such insensitivity and ignorance.

 

Sincerely,

 

 Beverly Brown

 

 

 

Dr. Phil,

I am a single parent who is in the middle of the process of adopting a baby girl.  I got custody of her when she was 6 weeks old.  I met the birth mother and the adoption is a semi-open adoption (meaning I send pictures and letters on a regular basis). 

 

I am truly sorry for Allison Quets horrible ordeal with the hyperemesis and the forced signing of her parental rights.  I can only imagine the horror she faces each and every day of not being able to see her children.   I never knew this disease existed, although I had a friend who had a very rough pregnancy a few years ago.  I am thankful you have brought this to light.

 

My concern is on the flip side, the side of the family who adopted the twins.  They may or may not have known about the way Allison was forced to sign the release of custody papers, but the adoption seemed to be an open one with visitation rights.  So, they should have been somewhat aware of Allison's feelings. 

 

I have been blessed with a beautiful baby girl and I have been her MOM since the day I picked her up.  I never knew I could love anyone so much!  I never knew how much I could do on just a few hours of sleep.  I never understood motherhood until I became a mother.  I empathize with Allison and her frustration.  I also empathize with the family who has taken care of the twins.  For both the twins and the adoptive family, they are family - parents and children, loving each other, growing, laughing, crying and being a family.  For Allison to say that they are not parents is hurtful to many adoptive parents and adoptive children (I was also adopted as an infant).

 

I don't have a solution for either side of this battle.  I believe Allison has a right to have a fair trial.  I have seen how even a short term illness can make people say and do something that they may regret later.  I don't think Allison was given a fair shake (in Oklahoma I believe the birth mother has three months to make the final decision, even after she's signed the reliquishment of custody papers).  I do not envy ANY judge who has to be the one to make the decision.  I think even King Solomon would have a hard time with this one!  I pray for both families.

     I am currently the proud mother of three beautiful children, but there was a time when I never dreamed that I would be where I am today. A little over a year into my marriage, I was overjoyed to find out that I was pregnant. But soon, just six weeks into the pregnancy, I began throwing up uncontrollably all day every day. I continued to work as much as I could even though I was growing weaker every day. Friends and coworkers told me this was normal and that I just had morning sickness like everyone else. But I soon became severely dehydrated, and my urine was the color of Pepsi. My doctors gave me Phenerghan and told me that I couldn't hide out in my house forever. They even pulled my husband aside and told him that I was just trying to get attention. Fortunately, my mother believed that I wasn't OK, and I switched doctors before it was too late. I was admitted to the hospital for IV's and was introduced to Zofran, the miracle drug. My suffering, however, was far from over. I remember throwing up until blood came up. I remember being too weak to walk back to the bed from the toilet. I remember throwing up constantly in a plastic bag every single time I got into a car. I remember how everything-even shampoo-made me throw up! And I remember just wanting to die. Nine months just seemed like an awefully long time to go through so much pain! So many times I patted my belly and told my little one how sorry I was. I felt like a failure every time I ran to the toilet again. And the worst part was knowing that I was sick but constantly having to explain it to other people. Most people didn't really believe that it was as bad as I was making it out to be.

     And I went through it all two more times! My mother and my doctors thought I was crazy, but I had always wanted a big family. My second pregnancy was very similar to the first, but by the third time around, I was miserable but more knowledgeable about controlling my illness. I rested for the first trimester and took my medication (8mg Zofran 3x a day, Prevacid in the morning, and Phenerghan at night) faithfully. I also found people to babysit my other children for me during the first trimester so I could stay in bed most of the day and avoid throwing up. And when I did have a bout of vomitting, I would force myself to eat popsicles in between trips to the bathroom so that I wouldn't get to the point of throwing up bile and my stomach lining. My husband also became quite good at bringing me Phenerghan suppositories when I needed them and feeding me spoonfuls of Sprite when things got really bad.

     During my c-section with number three, I had my tubes tied and was able to get back to my normal, healthy life. I will always feel a little sad that I couldn't have more children, but I know in my heart that I took all the pain that I could handle. I will always feel sad though that I never got to fully enjoy my pregnancies. Every single day was miserable and full of suffering, and the only good parts were the babies kicking and the deliveries. I am so thankful that Dr Phil has shed some light on this aweful disease! And I hope that many other women who are suffering from it right now will be uplifted and encouraged. Just know that it will not last forever, and that with the support of God, your friends, doctors, and family, you can get through it. Your life and your baby's life have special purposes in this world, and as cliche as it sounds, it will truly all be worth it in the end!

Allison does not deserve to suffer a second more after her suffering from the pure hell that is hyperemesis gravidarum.  Her children are the only medicine that can help her now.  After my fetal loss in the 2nd trimester with hyperemesis so severe I had to use a buzzer to signal my family when I needed a bedpan to vomit or urinate, the only thing that helped me get my health back was my adorable toddler, pulling me out of bed to play again after not being able to for weeks on end.  Get Allison her babies back and give her her life back!  I saw the live taping and some things were cut out that showed that Allison was a very high-functioning person of normal weight before hyperemesis and I just wanted to add that, since the show really only shows her in a physically and mentally debilitated state which is clearly caused by her pregnancy disease, caring for newborn twins which is taxing on anyone, and then having them taken away, and then being put in jail-when will the stress end for this poor woman whose life has been turned upside down?

On another note, please contact nvpstudy@usc.edu if you had hyperemesis and are interested in participating in a research study to find the cause and ultimately a cure for this devastating disease by studying genetic and epidemiologic factors that contribute to the disease.  

And on yet another note, if you are currently suffering from HG and are not able to eat, take the B6 shot if you can’t tolerate vitamins.  It probably won’t help with the nausea, but it can save you from one of the most severe complications of HG, Wernicke’s Encephalopathy, and even death.

Finally, thank you sincerely to Dr. Phil, Dr. Goodwin, and Kimber, AnnMarie and Jeremy at the HER Foundation for giving credence to this misunderstood disease.

Finally, someone I can agree with!  My heart goes out to all women who suffer from this debilitating disease. I have watched four of my sisters-in-law suffer through this illness, not once but multiple times.  However, they were married with loving and supportive family to care for them and help them through.  I get really angry when women get pregnant just so that they can have cute little baby dolls to play with.  What business did she have getting pregnant in the first place? I think that Allison is being selfish.  There is something wrong with her that  makes me think she is not a fit mother.  I was irritated that Dr. Phil never once talked about what was in the best interest of the children.  The only mother they know is the mother AND FATHER that are loving and caring for them right now. Obviously, the ex boyfriend didn't think she was a fit mother because he is the one that suggested adoption!  He would know her better than anyone before any of the HG.  I also have a friend who suffers from Post partum depression and maybe, just maybe Allison knew deep down inside that her babies weren't safe alone in her care. A lot of the things Allison was saying and the way she was acting, mimicked my friend after the birth of her third baby and recently her fourth that died in her arms. If her sister is so loving and supportive, where was she when all this was going on? When my sisters-in-law where sick, I stepped in and helped care for their children, clean house, brought in meals,  I even substitute taught for months at the preschool that they run together, whatever I could do to help ease their pain.  If the effects of HG were lasting after birth, I would have babysat and loved on my nieces and nephews until the mother was well enough to care for them. My sister and my best friend are both unable to have children of their own and both have adopted four children each. I can't imagine the heartbreak it would have caused, if after (however long those babies have been away from Allison) any amount of time, they were taken away to be given back to a selfish woman who could only talk about herself and the pain SHE was going through.  What about the pain the babies have gone through? Dr. Phil didn't even give them a voice like he usually does.  I love Dr. Phil and hang on his every word of advice, but he fell short this time.

I have PTSD from a rape that occured a few years ago. I am currenty on disability for it because of the severity of it. I can tell you from experience that HG CAN cause PTSD. I have flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety (related to the slightest nausea) and other symptoms of PTSD. Just so you know I never had any psych issues before my first pregnancy, then because of the horrid treatment I had and the severity of HG I was suicidal. So obviously you are not well versed on PTSD or what causes it. I would say that HG is nearly as bad as the trauma I endured from the rape.

This woman needs to be very careful with her actions and the children grow older. I was adopted by a family from birth. From the very beginning my parents were very open about me being an adopted child. When I was younger I would hear stories on the news about how kids would be 'taken back" by their biological parents and it would scare me to pieces. I was terrified that would happen to me.


I remember thinking who did these people think they were? What business did they have yanking a kid from the only home they had known just so they can fulfill their want to be a parent? I know I would have resented anyone (biological mother included) who took me away from my family. I hope she knows there is a good chance should this drag on for years that her kids may not welcome her into their lives so readily.

I used to think I was alone in this idea, but years later when I went to college I met up with lots of other adopted people who shared the same fears as kids. The feelings were the same, while it is understood in some cases we were loved and wanted (my biological mother left a note with my caseworker), wouldnt they love us enough to let us live our lives with our families?

However this is a lose lose situation for most.