Topic : 04/12 Twin Tug of War

Why would I run 118 miles? I'm obviously not weak. and I have NOT BEEN ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN AND HAVE TRIED 3 TIMES. Thanks for your complete insensitivity. You lose 46 pounds in 4 months and have blood spraying from your nose as you vomit and tell me it's normal.

Dear Dr Phil,

I  am writing to you from Ireland and I would firstly like to say thank you for doing this show.

I am shocked and horrified about poor allison and what has happened to her its so very wrong.

I am reading through all the posts here and im so very upset but the negitive comments , while I  understand people are entitled to there opinion, some of the posts are ignorant and condisending of any woman whio has been through hg.

I have survived HG twice and I dont say that lightly its not some airy  fairy oh I survived lets all be sisters kind of thing.

What i suffered is really undescribable to no one who has not been through it, in fact how could anyone possibly understand vomiting 70 plus times a day till you osepegaus is torn so you are vomiting blood, the veins in your eyeball burst and you get nose bleeds from vomiting so much and so hard, My first pregnancy  was in 1997 i was hospitalised at 5 and a half weeks put on iv fliuds and baiscly thats it i suffered losing 2 and a half stone my body practicaly shutting down i went into ketosis i had to be carried to the bathroom by my husband i was too weak to walk and consantly in and out of hospital till delivery, it took me a year to recover physically and four to recover mentaly, i was so scared to get pg again and didnt for 6 years but and this is to one of the messeges "if hg is so bad why do women have more children" There was something missing with me i needed to have another baby needed to face the fear of hg again and survive i did and now i have a beautiful son of 9 and a daughter of 2 and a half, i still ended up in hospital at 6 weeks pg vomitting excatly the same as my first pg but this time armed with knowledge and support from the wonderful women on the HER site who wrote to me and sent me gifts for my son and generaly supported me for the 3 months i was in hospital vomiting and after if it wasnt for them i wouldnt have my sarah, i survived this time better mentaly and emotionaly but didnt do to well physicaly i suffer from arthritis and odema now but it was worth it and i would love more children and if hg wasnt a certanty i would do it again but thats it i cannont do it again the fear of getting pg by accident has affeced my marraige it would be a total disaster if i got pg with out planning as i had for my first two children i cost us a lot of money on childcare for my daughters pg as my husband had to work i was in hospital and my son has special needs so needed a professional to look after him, what hg has cost us in emotions and financilly is overwhelming , for me socialy after my first pg when i was addmited to hosp at 5 and a half weeks i didnt go back to work till my son was 7 months old luckilly my job covered my wages,but i compleatly understand why allison did what she did especialy with your first child you are drained emotionaly physicaly and have no idea if you are going to be able to look after this baby after not being able to brush your own hair for months , she needed someone to say give it a few weeks and you will be feeling much better dont make a decision now but unfortunatly for her and her babys no one  did.

 

thanks for listening

Jacqueline Moran

Since there is no one her questioning the Integrity, Morals , values and the respect for human life of the American people, PLEASE do NOT insinuate that Canadians are an immoral people that sell babies, or who do NOT take the sanctity of human life seriously okay, we are not attacking certain States or your country, please do NOT attack ours.

Thank You

I think everyone on the message boards misses the point..This woman broke the law....and as far as I am concerned she is uing this illness for an excuse for her behavior..I sympathize with anyone who has had this disease, but it is no excuse for breaking the law..She took those children out of the US illegally and no matter what disease she had , she should suffer the consequenses of breaking the law like anyone else..And aren't u people tired of people using every excuse imaginable for breaking the law..and that is what people hire smart lawyer for, to find them an excuse to get around the law....Wake up.This woman gave those children awway and then because she couldn't get them back using the legal system, she stole them...

I sympathize with Allison, but after reading the message boards, I feel she broke the law when she stole those children and she should be punished for it..She didn't go through the legal process to get the children back. Instead she stole them and took them out of the country..Anyone else who would take their children who were in someone elses custody out of the country without permission would be charged with a crime and punished and so should she..I think her smart lawyer is using her illness when pregnant as an excuse for her stealing those chilren. She didn't have this disease months later when she got the children and took them out of the country..She seems she has emotioal issues and needs treatment..I don't think she should be in jail,but is she emotionally stable to be raising children??..............a viewer

Just wanted to send another note of thanks to Dr. Phil and the gang.  How absolutely healing it is to have another venue to reach other women in need of answers and help in dealing with HG.  It is also very freeing, I must admit, to respond to those that are demonstrating a clear need to be educated.  Some of the rhetoric/opinion regarding this disease that is being put forth is exactly what causes the shame and desperation that many HG women face.  Ignorance and lack of empathy can be a very dangerous mix.  I myself, am seeing the fruit of having borne this cross.  I can't imagine any other thing in my life that would have caused me to stop and put myself in another person's shoes before opening my mouth.  So, I almost look on this disease as a gift in some regards.  Yes, I do harbor the emotional pain of pregnancy loss and the forced choice to end my childbearing.  But, the shame and hopelessness is waning and the bigger, more important battle is beginning;  the battle of bringing this disease to the forefront where good science can kick it's butt. 

 

To those struggling with HG right now:  Visit the HER website.  There are treatment options discussed that your doctor may not be familiar with that you can suggest.  There is help with finding doctors familiar with treating this disease.  And, there is love and support from women who will understand what you are going through. 

 

To those supporting an HG mom:  Visit the HER website.  There are suggestions on how to cope and how best to support your HG'ing loved one.  This would include tips on advocating on her behalf as most HG women are too weak to fight for themselves.

 

To those that have loved and lost a baby either through miscarriage, stillbirth, or termination: Visit the HER website.  There are many other moms in your shoes.  You will not be judged.  You will be loved, supported, and given hope.  I myself did not find this website until after my last pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage.  I see myself healing and moving forward, not forgetting but healing.

 

To medical professionals:  Thank you for wanting the best for your patients.  Please be on the lookout for possible HG cases amongst your patients.  These mommies are counting on you.  There is a folder on the HER site that is private for doctors where you can go and discuss treatments and such without interruption.  We will appreciate your time spent there more than you will ever know.

 

To the HER founders:  May God bless you mightily for reaching out beyond yourselves.  You are much loved by many women and their families.

 

Link to HER:

http://www.helpher.org/index.php

 

Here's believing for a brighter future!

Amy

 

 

I hope the next time you get the flu or food poisoning,  think about with being on a rocky boat you about how you would like to feel that way for 9 months. I have had two children with HG and I am not able to have anymore children because of it. Do not judge someone until you have walked in their shoes. Having HG is living in hell.  It has been 4 years and I am still suffering from the aftermath of it.  You are one of those people who think that we should just get out of bed and do something to make us feel better.  I have had several major surgeries and nothing campared to the way I felt with HG. Someday something is going to happen to you and you are going to think about what you have said about this.  

I am so thankful that Dr. Phil has brought some much needed attention to HG. I suffered with HG in 3 out of my 4 pregnancies, and not once did anyone, even my doctors, understand how bad my suffering was. With each HG pregnancy I lost an incredible amount of weight in a short period of time, was hospitalized at least once a week for IV fluids & nutrients, and during one of my pregnancies I was hospitalized for over a week. The first two HG pregnancies my doctors offered no medication to help me, and just insisted that I needed to eat some saltine crackers before getting out of bed in the morning. If I have to eat another saltine cracker, I will vomit!  I couldn't believe the reaction I was getting from trained medical professionals. They obviously had no clue what HG was and couldn't sympathize with my situation whatsoever. My main source of food for 3-5 months was soley water. I maybe could drink about 8 oz. in an entire day, and even then the vomitting continued. I would retch until all I was throwing up was stomach bile, and I estimated this would happen at least 20-30 times a day. The HG was so debilitating in my last pregnancy that I was confined to my bed for over 3 months. I couldn't even get to my bathroom without vomitting and then losing control of my bladder. I forced myself to shower about every 5 days, and brush my teeth at the same time. I couldn't find the strength or the will to be the clean, normal person I was before. I had much support at home, because my mother and husband cared for me 24hrs a day and realized how sick I was. I became extremely sensitve to lights and sounds. I couldn't stand any sunlight coming through my window or the slightest of sounds, because it would make me retch instantly. Because I was so weak , my husband would carry me down the stairs to the car whenever I had to go the hospital or my doctors office. I was so weak that even when I started fealing better, it took months to regain my strength. In fact, once I was able to walk around the house, the bottoms of my feet peeled so terribly that it looked like I was shedding my skin. The doctor said that was due to not be able to walk for so long and have the skin naturally sluff off.  I also felt like I had been hit by a car, because I hadn't used any of my muscles for months and they became extremely sore from even the slightest activity.  Now that I have been through HG 3 times, I have concluded that it wouldn't be healthy for me to continue to have more children.  I have suffered tremendously, mentally, emotionally, and physically, because of HG and I completely sympathize with any woman who has had to suffer with it too.  Anyone who hasn't had HG and thinks they know what it's like, doesn't have a clue.  I wouldn't wish this illness on even my worst enemy.  My youngest child is 15 months old, and I believe it is going to take me a very long time to overcome the effects HG has had on me in every way. Currently I have been suffering from severe post-pardom depression, and I attribute most of the reason I am suffering to HG. I hope other woman who are suffering from HG can now be taken seriously by their doctors,  that they trully are suffering from a horrible illness that is very real indead. Thank you Dr. Phil for opening peoples eyes to HG and how awful and painful it is. I hope you will consider devoting an entire show to HG, so that the message is loud and clear.

UNTIL YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH HYPEREMESIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW SERIOUS IT IT. To say feel free to keep belly aching about how terrible it is has infuriated so many of us. Have you ever vomited 30 times a day for months? Have you ever thrown up blood and bile ??  Did you ever feel so week you could not function for 4-7 months?? So many of us were so excited for Dr. Phil to discuss this disease and all it took was an ignorant comment like yours to take way from the this big step forward.. 

 

I have only been through this once and it is a horrible thing . I had 2 surgeries from the damage to my esophagus and my body is still not right after what I went through. My doctor told me I would have hyperemesis just as bad if not worse next time so I am not going to try again. But, many women were misinformed believing it might not come back. And other women are so strong to put their bodies through this to have another child. And then there is you who questioned the severity!!! when you have NO idea what we all went through. I used to say I would not not wish this on my worst enemy . Well, after reading what you wrote I must say for a moment  I wished you could experience Hyperemesis if only for 1 day so you would not be so ignorant about our suffering and know just what strong women we truly are!!!

I completely know the feeling of being scared to become pregnant again.  I did it a second time ONLY out of total selflessness so that I could give my daughter a sibling.  My mother was at my house 12 hrs/day taking care of her as I could not even talk or lift myself out of bed w/o vomiting.  I missed my daughter's whole spring as a toddler.  After I delivered my second child, I'd look back on pictures they'd taken of her that spring and I'd be in tears knowing I was not around for her.  It was so worth it now that we have Joseph, our son.  However, now that the kids have eachother, I don't think I could do it a third time.  It is sad that HG is so miserable that it dictates ones' family size.  If you have great family support, I don't think you would regret doing it again- just one more time.  You sound like me; a third would be out of the question.  Many prayers as you contemplate this difficult decision.