Topic : 04/12 Twin Tug of War

Since obviously, you didn't grasp the tone and intent of my original message.

1.  The laws in Florida may be archaic, but they are the laws.   How many times would you suggest she sign over the children before it's considered a legal and binding adoption? 

2.  My husband and I after FOUR failed domestic adoption attempts CHOSE to invest our hearts and souls where we would come home with a China.  God led us to China.  We chose international adoption after the failed domestic adoptions.  We will never have birth mother issues, my daughter was abandoned on the steps of a kindergarten.  Thankfully, her birth family chose 1. not to abort and 2. not to kill her.  Infanticide is still a common practice in rural China. 

3. Why should the adoptive parents lose the children they have loved since the day they were placed in their arms.  I don't know about you, but I bonded with my daughter the moment she was placed in my arms that hot afternoon in China.  Actually, I loved her from the first picture, but it took me two months to get her in my arms. 

4. The adoptive family, despite having an open adoption, can sever communication at will at any time.  They chose to let Alison remain in contact.  How do you know they didn't look at the best interest of the children.  The woman is still not all there.  Remember, one court already held up the adoption. 

5.  Reactive attachment disorder does not have to do with the circumstance that the child came from.  It comes from removing a child from the only environment they have ever known.  The children have bonded with their caregivers in the orphanage regardless of the lack of resources.  They still have a BOND with the caregivers.  Infants and children adopt with those that supply their vital needs, food, safety, warmth and comfort. 

I pray that the courts sever any and all parental rights for Alison Quets, I hope she serves consecutive sentences for parental kidnapping.  She obtained passports for those children despite not being their legal guardian.  Considering the time to obtain passports, two to six weeks, there was forethought in what she did.  Additionally, she forged a federal document.  She signed as the children's legal guardian, which by Florida law and decree, she is not.

The children were not stolen from the parent, she gave up her rights TWICE.  The first time when she signed the paperwork and then called 911, and then again 3 days later.  I give the adoptive family credit for refusing to try this whole thing in the media and on the Dr. Phil show. 

"Do you want me to say that Allison should have her cake and eat it, too? "

LOL ... OK, maybe this is tasteless... but is there anyone else out there who finds this quote ironic?

UNTIL YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH HYPEREMESIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW SERIOUS IT IT. To say feel free to keep belly aching about how terrible it is has infuriated so many of us. Have you ever vomited 30 times a day for months? Have you ever thrown up blood and bile ??  Did you ever feel so week you could not function for 4-7 months?? So many of us were so excited for Dr. Phil to discuss this disease and all it took was an ignorant comment like yours to take way from the this big step forward.. 

I have only been through this once and it is a horrible thing . I had 2 surgeries from the damage to my esophagus and my body is still not right after what I went through. My doctor told me I would have hyperemesis just as bad if not worse next time so I am not going to try again. But, many women were misinformed believing it might not come back. And other women are so strong to put their bodies through this to have another child. And then there is you who questioned the severity!!! when you have NO idea what we all went through. I used to say I would not not wish this on my worst enemy . Well, after reading what you wrote I must say for a moment  I wished you could experience Hyperemesis if only for 1 day so you would not be so ignorant about our suffering and know just what strong women we truly are!!!

DR PHIL,

IN 1998 I WAS  INVOLVED IN  A CASE THAT  INVOLVED A ADOPTION OF MY SON,  IT WAS DURNING A TIME  WHEN I WAS  UNDER A GREAT DEAL OF STRESS, HAVING MAJOR DEPRESSION ISSUES, & I WAS ABOUT TO HAVE SEVERAL BACK & KNEE SURGERIES, SO I WAS NOT ABLE TO FUCTION REAL WELL ,

MY SON & I WERE  LIVING WITH  FAMILY FRIENDS  AT THE TIME, & THEY WERE A RETIRED COUPLE  THAT LIVED IN A VERY SMALL TOWN & HAD AFEW ACRES FOR  ANIMALS SO WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A PERFECT PLACE TO RASIE MY SON HAD TURNED INTO A NIGHTMARE ! 

DURING  THE TIME WHEN I HAD TO HAVE BEEN OF MY KNNEE'S  RE DONE ,  THEY BROUGHTUP THE FACT THAT THEY REALLY WERE AFRAID THAT MY SONS FATHER WAS GOING TO COME AFTER HIM & TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME !  WELL YOU CAN  GUESS  THE  THOUGHT  OF TERROR  THAT  I HAD  TO FACE WITH THAT ! 

SO THEY CAME UP WITH THE IDEA OF  A  ADOPTION  ""ON PAPER "" ONLY  TO GET  THE  FATHER OUT OF  THE PICTURE ! ( WHAT I DID NOT KNOW AT THE TIME IS THAT  THE 3 OF THEM WERE  IN THIS WHOLE THING TOGETHER  TO GET  THE FATHER  OUT OF PAYING SUPPORT  FOR MY SON .

WELL THEY  FOUND AN ATTY  THAT WOULD HANDLE EVERYTHING FOR  THEM , & THEY STARTED THE  PROCESS ! 

THEY MADE ALOT OF PROMISES TO ME LIKE  " WE  ARE TO OLD TO RAISE  A CHILD  SO IF YOU EVER WANT TOTAKE THE  BOY & LEAVE IT WILL BE FINE !

OK  I KNOW A REALLY STUPID MOVE ON MY PART TO  TRUST IN THAT !

WELL THEY SET THE ATTY APPOINTMENTS  DID ALL THE PAPER WORK , PAID ALL  THE FEE'S  DID IT ALL  EVEN MADE SURE I NEVER WENT  ANY WHERE  ALONE !

WHEN  THE STATE  DID  THIER  INVESTIGATION  THERE WERE THERE, IN FACT  WHEN THE  SOCIAL WORKER QUESTIONED WHY I WAS STAYING  ON IN THE HOME  THEY TOLD HER THAT I WAS  STILL GOING TO RAISE  MY SON  JUST  I HAD BEEN DOING  &  THAT  IT WAS IMPORTANT TO THEM THAT I REMIAN AS  HIS " MOMMY"

WELL THAT  WENT FINE TIL  I FOUND PAPERS THAT  THEY HAD FILED FOR  SOCIAL SECURITY PAYMENT FOR HIM !  ( THEY WERE ON SOCIAL  SECURITY DISABILTY )

SO IF THEY WERE TO HAVEA CHILD ADDED TO THE FAMILY THE WERE  GOING TO GET A INCREASE  FUNDS EACH MONTH  ( ABOUT  $ 800.00 )  & WHEN THE ADOPTION WAS  FINAL  THEY GOT ABOUT  45k  SO  MADE  THIS WHOLE PLAN  VERY PROFITABLE FOR THEM ,

ABOUT 2 MOS BEFORE THE FINAL DATE  I CALLED THE ATTY & THE STATE  TO  STOP  THE ADOPTION  , WELL WHEN THEY  FOUND OUT I HAD CALLED ALL THE PHONE'S WERE TAKEN OUT OF THE HOUSE , & MY  CAR KEYS WENT  MISSING , I WAS NOT  ALLOWED OUT OF  THIER SITE !

THE ADOPTION WENT THROUGH  EVEN WITH MY OBJECTIONS  , I WAS  KEPT OUT OF THE COURT ROOM & THE  ATTY WAS TOLD THAT I WAS  HIGHLY MEDICATED  SO  ANYTHING I WOULD SAY  WAS  NOT WHAT I  REALLY MENT !

ABOUT 6 MOS AFTER  THE FINAL , I FOUND MORE  LEGAL PAPERS  & STARTED ASKING QUESTION , I TOLD THEM THAT I THOUGHT  IT WAS GOING TO BE BEST  IF  WE  LEFT ,  I WAS TOLD FINE THAT I COULD LEAVE BUT I WAS NOT  TAKING  MY SON ,

THE  GENTLEMAN IN  THIS  THING HAD BEGUN  TO BE VERY PHYSCIAL WITH ME HE WAS  DRINKING MORE , THAN BEFORE  & GOT VERY ABUSIVE  AT TIMES , 

ON AUG 1999 I TOLD THEM THAT  WE WERE GOING  FOR A ICE CREAM & WE  WENT  TO BE WITH MY FAMILY --  THE HAD  THE SOCIAL SERVICE DEPT  MEET WITH  MY FATHER , MYSELF & MY SON -  THE RIPPED MY SON OUT OF MY ARMS  (  HE WAS  KICKING & SCREAMING  FOR ME TO HELP HIM  THEY TOLD ME THAT IF I MOVED I COULD BE SHOT  FOR INTERFERRING  WITH THEM -   THEY  FILED CHILD STEALING CHARGES AGAINST ME  & I SPENT 22 DAYS IN JAIL  THEN  I WENT  BEFORE A JUDGE  IN CALIF  & HE  TOLD ME  THAT  SINCE I HAD  A CASE TO HAVE THE ADOPTION OVER TURNED  !  THAT  IF A WAS SUCCESFUL IN THAT  , THEN HE WOULD DISMISS MY CHILD STEALING CASE !

IN 2000  I  WAS  IN COURT  FOR  4 HRS & THE JUDGE TOOK A BREAK & CAME BACK EVEN WITH OUT HEARING THE OTHER SIDE  HE  OVERTURNED  THE ADPOTION  & RESTORED ALL MY  PARENTAL RIGHTS , BUT HE DID NOT  SEND MY SON HOME WITH ME

HE WANTED TO GIVE ME TIME  TO GET A PLACE TO LIVE  & TO GIVE  MY SON A CHANCE TO GET USED TO THE CHANGE -  BUT  THEY WERE  STILL GETTING $800.00 @ MONTH  SO THEY DID NOT WANT TO LET THAT  GO ,  IT TOOK ANOTHER  13 MONTHS FOR ME TO GET  MY SON HOME WITH ME ,

DURNING WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TRANSITION TIME I WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO TALK TO MY SON ALONE 1 OF THEN WAS ALWAYS WITH IN EAR SHOT  I HAD TO HAVE THE SHERIFF INFORCE  MY TIME VISITS  4  TIMES , IT WAS  REALLY CRAZY WHAT THEY PUT US THROUGH ,

BUT IN  2002 MY SON WAS  ABLE TO SPEND A FEW OVERNITE VISITS  DURNING ONE OF THOSE  VISITS HE TOLD ME THAT  HE WANTED  TO COME & LIVE WITH ME  FOREVER!

I TOOK HIM BACK & THE NEXT MORNING AT 7:30AM  MY PHONE RANG  IT WAS  THE WOMAN IN TEARS !  SHE TOLD ME THAT  I NEEDED TO MEET HER  & THAT MY SON WAS  COMING TO LIVE WITH ME BUT THAT I NEED TO CALL THE ATTY & TELL THEM THAT  THEY WOULD HAVE TO DRAW UP THE PAPERS TO RELEASE THEM OF GURADIANSHIP  !

WELL I PICKED HIM UP & WE WENT RIGHT TO THE COURTS & I SPOKE TO THE JUDGES SEC & TOLD HER WHAT HAD HAPPEND HE TOLD ME WHAT TO DO & 30 DAYS LATER IT WAS ALL OVER !

I DONT KNOW  IF MY CASE CAN HELP ALLISON  AT ALL BUT MAYBE IT MIGHT GIVE HER  SOME  HOPE !!!

MY SON IS 15 YRS OLD NOW  & HE STILL CARRIES SOME SCARS FROM WHAT I ALLOWED TO HAPPEN BUT HE KNOWS THAT  MOM MAKES MISTAKES  & IF WE LEARN FROM THEM  THEN WE GROW & ARE BETTER  PEOPLE  FOR  LIFE !

I HAVE NEVER SHARED MY STORY WITH ANYONE OUTSIDE MY  IMED FAMILY BUT IF WHAT I WENT THROUGH CAN HELP 1 PERSON  ALL OF THIS HAS BEEN WORTH IT !!

THANKS YOU FOR LETTING ME WRITE THIS  GOD BLESS YOU

DENA

You're right I paid absolutely no attention to this story I didn't note her twitchy, disturbed affect or the mental instability that oozed from her every pore.  I paid no attention to the complete lack of responsibility she expressed for her actions or the psychological disturbance that clearly transcended the HG.  Count me corrected.

Do you want me to say that Allison should have her cake and eat it, too? She's obviously not responsible enough to put her pen to a legal document, but she's more than responsible enough to raise two girls.  She's calculated enough to forge documents and get her children out of the country, but she's too weak and frail mentally to make any decisions that count legally just listening to her talk she didn't do anything wrong.

But I wasn't paying any attention to that.