Topic : 04/12 Twin Tug of War

Hello, my name is Nikki.  I have 3 beautiful children (11,9, and 1), and I suffered with HG for all 3. 

I had mild HG with my first pregnancy.  I was sick many times a day and hospitalized several times a week for IV fluids.  I was able to take mild meds (they didn't know about Zofran then) to help with the nausea, and finally around my 3rd trimester the vomiting/nausea subsided. 

My second pregnancy was more severe.  I was hospitalized at 6 weeks, and remained in the hospital for almost 2 months (my husband was left home to care for my 1 year old daughter by himself).  My doctors had a PICC Line placed in, and I was fed TPN through that line, and Zofran IV meds until I was 7 months along.  I lost almost 15 lbs before I finally started gaining weight.  I was so miserable during this pregnancy that I swore I'd never get pregnant again.  I felt alone and rejected - everyone thought that I was making myself sick for sympathy.  My only visitors to the hospital where my husband and daughter and my parents, and still I don't think that they can understand exactly how a felt and what I was goiung through.

After 8 years, my husband and I decided that we wanted to have another baby (I think it took that long for me to forget how bad I felt the last time I was pregnant!!).  I looked into adoption; however, many expectant mom's aren't looking for an adoptive family that already has 2 children.  Understandably, they want to help childless couples.  So we decided to try and get pregnant - maybe I won't get sick again?? 

Well, this pregnancy was the worse!!  I was hospitalized at 4 weeks along.  They immediately put me on IV Zofran, and they put the PICC line in 4 days later (TPN).  I only had to spend 2 weeks in the hospital (I knew the routine from my last pregnancy, and my midwife thought that I might feel better at home being around my family then sitting in a hospital room all by myself).  I was vomiting non-stop and losing weight - my husband still couldn't understand how weak I was or why I would lay on the floor in the bathroom instead of going back to bed.  My kids were now 8 and 10, and they didn't understand why mom couldn't go to school functions or soccer games.  I think they also had a hard time dealing with mom always being in bed, home health nurses coming into the house all the time, and seeing that I was connected to a IV bag 24/7.  There were times that I wanted to give up, there were times that I wished I was never pregnant.

I look back now, and I know that all the pain and suffering was worth it.  I have 3 healthy, beautiful children.  But it's so hard to be optimistic when your pregnant with HG and all you can think about is the next five minutes - Please don't let me get sick again in the next five minutes!! 

I didn't find out about hyperemesis.org until after my last child was born.  There was nobody that I knew that had HG, nobody that could understand exactly what I was going through.  I went on-line to look up HG hoping that maybe I could help give support to someone else that's suffering from HG.  I have signed up to become a "buddy" to anyone that's suffering from HG.  I could offer emotional support to an HG mom who just wants someone to understand, someone to talk to, someone to give them encouragement and hope that things WILL GET BETTER.

Thank You again Dr Phil for airing this show, and trying to educate people about Hyperemesis.  I watched your show with my husband and I told all my family members to watch your show as well.  I'm hoping that maybe they will have a better understanding of HG thanks to you.

Having gone through the horrors of HG with my wife, I would like to thank Dr. Phil for bring the national spotlight on this horrific medical condition and I hope that some member of Congress will consider sponsoring legislation to increase research funding and treatment for HG.

However, there are two other voices who have not been appropriately recognized on this message board.

Thie first is that of Mike Holfeld of WKMG TV in Orlando, Florida who first brought the local spotlight to the bizarre story of the legal events which resulted in this situation.  It was Holfeld who obtained the 9-1-1 audiotape played on Dr. Phil and first aired it in a story on WKMG. 

Mr. Holfeld, who had a brief appearance on the program, has dedicated hundreds of hours of hard work to bring to Orlando viewers initially, and now on a national basis, the story of Allison Quets, even selflessly devoting a week's vacation time over the past Chrsitmas holiday to working on the story when he could have been spending the time on vacation with his family.

Mr. Holfeld is a veteran reporter.

Quoting from his professional bio, at http://www.local6.com/newsteam/66412/detail.html,

"His reports on parents losing a pregnancy to miscarriage led to the passage of the Grieving Parents Law. Now, Florida parents have the right to hold a memorial service no matter when the miscarriage occurs.

'"His work has earned a long list of honors. Since December 2003 he has earned 6 Emmy nominations, winning two along with an AP award, two green eyeshade awards, the Society of Professional Journalists Award of Excellence and The Sunshine State Award."

Ironically, the call letters for his home station are in memoriam for a woman who did much for this country, Katherine Meyer Graham, the late owner and publisher of The Washington Post.

Having been contacted by Mr. Holfeld, I find him to be what his biography says, an ethical professional veteran journalist.

I personally would like to thank Mr. Holfeld, and the News Director and managment of WKMG for allowing Mr. Holfeld to have the time to unravel this story and document it in his stories on WKMG, for without Mr. Holfeld's original ground-breaking reports, this HG program on Dr. Phil would never have happened.

The second individual, who has a very low profile in this situation but who first contacted me last September and we have had several conversations since, is Charles Hannasch, a freelance journalist also based in Florida with both legal and legislative experience and who was totally flabbergasted when he learned of the 9-1-1 tape, 

Again, a very ethical, honest, professional veteran journalist.

Hannasch's professional biography can be viewed at www.writers.net/writers/95321.

As a freelance journalist, Hannasch is to be respected for doing what he is doing because it all comes out his funds, since he does not have the financial support of a broadcast television syndicate such as Dr. Phil or a TV station like MIke Holfeld.

Like Holfeld who gave up a week of Christmas vacation with his family, Hannasch has givern hundreds, if not perhaps even more than a thousand hours, unraveling and documenting this story and other cases of injustice in America's family law court system in preparation for an investigative book that, in the end, may or may not be bought by a publishing house. 

I have no doubt that with Holfeld's record of being a journalist who has already successfully changed Florida state law with his broadcast reports, and Hannasch's dogged paper chase to document abuses and corruption in the family law court system of this country. and his legal and legislative background and experience, that this pair are voices of change who will fight ande change Florida state law to provide new protections for women such as Allison Quets and others. 

There is a whole background story to what Dr. Phil presented on his show - I am in Ottawa where Allison fled last Dec and her story was front-page with a ton of investigative journalism ... Allison hoped that Canada would offer her some legal protection but she was simply removed as she was not admissable to be in Canada (a criminal charge will do that). 

I was quite impressed at how Dr. Phil navigated the shoals of presenting only one side and saying that both the x-b/f and the adoptive family HAD been invited and had refused to participate.  No doubt they refused to participate ... because Dr. Phil would have asked them all some pretty pointed questions about what "went down" ..

Adoption is good and fine when it happens in an open, transparent and ethical way .. but when "shennanigans" are included ... yes adoptive parents should have cause for concern. 

As to the Florida law .. I am sure it's unconstitutional - an affront to life - liberty and the pursuit of happiness in some way ...

I really hope Allison gets her kids back - that the whole story is exposed for the fraud it was and most of all I agree with Dr. Phil that Allison does not belong shackled and in an orange jumpsuit ... simply ridiculous !!!

Hello, your arguement makes no sense what so ever. Quest has emotionally abuse these babies by her selfish-self serving needs. If she continues on this path those children will be forever a mess emotionally. So if I hear you right, your saying that all non-custodial parent are entitled to kidnap their children from the legal guardian so long as their paternal rights have not been terminated. LISTEN TO YOURSELF!!!! Talk about not making sense. So you think it was ok for her to change her mind not once, not twice but even when seh considered another couple for a 3rd time. How many times should she be allowed to fly on the OH, I was an emotional wreck. OH, PLEASE.

Who else would take care of them?  I think it takes a lot of bravery to parent the children in a situation like this.  Someone has to care for them.  I'm sure they look like the bad guys

in this situation, but we don't know the complete facts from an hour long program. 

If they have been "parenting" the children for two years, I'd say that qualifies them as parents, whether "good" or "bad", that's the only parents these children know.  It's a very sad situation for them either way.

I like you look at pregnant women and am saddened and think how unfair it is for us with HG. I am somewhat bitter inside after suffering with this. My heart aches to have a healthy pregnancy .  We are are robbed that feeling of excitement as our bellies grow as we are stuck in bed with Iv's,Pic lines and feeding tubes and wondering if we will survive this.  i have to agree with you that our lives are changed forever. I am not the same person I was before HG.

Best of luck adopting a a baby!!!.

Thank you for caring and best of luck bringing a child into your life via adoption!

Hg doesn't affect every pg.  There may be differing amounts of hormone levels with each subsequent pregnancy.  A woman may have hg with her 1st pg, then go on to have a couple of "normal" pg's. 

I do agree about the adoptive parents.  We don't know from just a 911 tape that THEY themselves coerced her (may have been the attorney, she may have been unstable).  I don't think they should have to defend themselves, and would put themselves through vicious exposure and may have been advised not to appear.

I don't however, think she should be in prison for life over something she did out of emotional duress.  She needs treatment, not to rot.  HG drains your electrolytes, nutrients, and fluids which affected her particular decision-making ability (not w every woman, but in her case).  I also believe the woman had Post Partum, which also affects judgment.  That was a double whammy influencing her behavior.  Effective treatment improves behavior and decision-making ability.

Is the adoption document that she signed legally binding, I didn't catch whether it was or whether she still had parental rights.