Quote From: astrid07This disease sounds truly awful - it is sad that anyone has to deal with such illness and such losses. What I do not understand though - did she make the choice to give up the babies while pregnant or afterwards? How long after you give birth does this disease make you unable to make coherent choices (how long for a return to health)?
If someone is deemed legally unable to make rational choices for themselves because of this illness (that is what is being suggested, in order to make these legal documents she signed invalid), should that person be left making choices for their babies on a daily basis, without some kind of aid or medication? This would concern me. If someone was suffering a mental illness that diminished their reason to the point that they were not legally able to make choices, a proxy or someone else would have to make choices about the children I would think? I am not sure how this works, but I would be concerned.
How was she coerced into giving up her babies? It does not seem like there was anyone forcing her. Were they harassing her, or showing up at her home? What is this ex boyfriend like? I don't understand the coercion part.
While there may not be a cooling off period for adoption (for babies under 6 months), she came back three days later (the same amount of time given as a cooling off period for babies over 6 months) and signed the papers again. Is the problem that three days is not enough of a cooling off period?
I guess I feel bad for the adoptive parents, I cannot imagine investing the sort of love it takes to raise a child only to have that child taken away. The children do not understand why they were suddenly taken to away from the people they have bonded with and the experience must have been traumatic. I know adoptive parents and their daughter really loves them. There is no doubt in the girl's mind that these people are her parents and love her, and to be taken away from them would be truly upsetting for her.
Astrid,
From my previous posts you would gather that I have my own firm opinions. However, you bring up good, honest questions. I truly appreciate how you posed them in a non-offensive way. That always opens the board for constructive debate. I'd like to debate with you in a friendly way. I'll copy your questions and follow with my replies.
What I do not understand though - did she make the choice to give up the babies while pregnant or afterwards? Allison stated that she first considered adoption when she was 7 months pregnant. That would be at a time of serious devastation physically.
How long after you give birth does this disease make you unable to make coherent choices (how long for a return to health)? Post-partum recovery for an HG sufferer can take 6 mo. to 2 yrs. However, there are many cases of secondary health issues that are either chronic or take much longer to "cure." PPD and PTSD are also common and can be severe in post-partum HG patients.
If someone is deemed legally unable to make rational choices for themselves because of this illness (that is what is being suggested, in order to make these legal documents she signed invalid), should that person be left making choices for their babies on a daily basis, without some kind of aid or medication? This would concern me. I totally agree with your here, well stated. I believe Allison needed physical support in caring for these twins while her body recovered, as well as, emotional support in dealing with PPD and/or PTSD. Many women receive that type of help while caring for their new babies. Sadly, others do not. Admittedly, I would like to see Allison be reunited with her children but with aid in dealing with emotional trauma, Even if there was none before, there most certainly is now after her stay in jail while separated from her children.
How was she coerced into giving up her babies? It does not seem like there was anyone forcing her. Were they harassing her, or showing up at her home? What is this ex boyfriend like? I don't understand the coercion part. Allison's claim, and hospital documentation should support this, is that she was in a weakened state after her children's births. She was allegedly driven to the attorney's office and kept there (she was driven) for 5 hours before signing and withdrawing the papers. Five hours is a pretty long time for anyone, let alone a physically weak person. If she was there for a total of 11 hours, which is what is claimed, that's 6 more hours. She stated that she was physically too weak to carry both babies and infant carriers out of the office. Three days later, she signed again only to attempt to withdraw the papers 8 hours later through a different attorney. She was probably in the same physical condition at that time. The coercion that many feel took place has to do with her weakened state and obvious indecision. She stated that she wanted the best for her babies and was not sure if she was physically capable of caring for them. I do not know what the boyfriend was like. She did not speak ill of him. However, I believe he was the one who drove her to the attorney's office and did not immediately offer to take her home when she was unsure of her decision.
While there may not be a cooling off period for adoption (for babies under 6 months), she came back three days later (the same amount of time given as a cooling off period for babies over 6 months) and signed the papers again. Is the problem that three days is not enough of a cooling off period? Wow, that's a really great question! In my mind, I can't see that 3 days is enough. And, I say that as someone who has been looking into adoption myself. I'd love to see strong evaluations and support given to people considering placing children for adoption before it ever gets to the point of signing papers.
I guess I feel bad for the adoptive parents, I cannot imagine investing the sort of love it takes to raise a child only to have that child taken away. You do sound like a compassionate person. I feel for them also but question how much they knew of Allison's indecision. If there was any knowledge, and maybe we (the general public) will never know, then my compassion for them goes right out the window. I'm a strong advocate of parental rights for adoptive parents and birth parents. It's such a sad situation all around.
Allison Quets made headlines around the world when she allegedly kidnapped her 17-month-old twins across the border into Canada this past Christmas. She had given them up for adoption, but did she do so under duress? She now says she suffered from a pregnancy disease called hyperemesis that left her malnourished and sleep deprived to the point of complete exhaustion. See an exclusive interview with Allison from behind bars where she awaits trial on two counts of international parental kidnapping, with a possible sentence of three years behind bars. Then, look inside the life of a woman who is only three-and-a-half months pregnant and so sick with hyperemesis she spends most of her day on the bathroom floor. Plus, find out what all women need to know about hyperemesis: How you get it, how to know you have it, and whether it could kill you or your unborn child. Join the discussion.
