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Topic : 04/12 Twin Tug of War

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Created on : Friday, April 06, 2007, 11:39:40 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Allison Quets made headlines around the world when she allegedly kidnapped her 17-month-old twins across the border into Canada this past Christmas. She had given them up for adoption, but did she do so under duress? She now says she suffered from a pregnancy disease called hyperemesis that left her malnourished and sleep deprived to the point of complete exhaustion. See an exclusive interview with Allison from behind bars where she awaits trial on two counts of international parental kidnapping, with a possible sentence of three years behind bars. Then, look inside the life of a woman who is only three-and-a-half months pregnant and so sick with hyperemesis she spends most of her day on the bathroom floor. Plus, find out what all women need to know about hyperemesis: How you get it, how to know you have it, and whether it could kill you or your unborn child. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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babyalligator

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Worried

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April 15, 2007, 7:15 pm PDT

04/12 Twin Tug of War

Quote From: orestia

I'm almost scared to watch this show. I was also diagnosed with HG shortly after Christmas of 2005 and it was at this time that I found out I was pregnant with twins. My doctor was amazing. I showed up at his office, with my husband practically carrying me, and within a few hours I was on home IV health care. For months, a nurse would come change my dressings and help me adjust my Zofran pump. I think the only thing I really "drank" during the first couple of months was Lactated Ringers from my IV. During the worst of it, my husband would help me sponge bathe. I was too weak to take a shower, and couldn't take a tub bath due to the IV lines. I couldn't brush my teeth everyday, as that would start the vomiting again. (My teeth are now stained from the bile eating away at the enamel). I also had to invest in "adult undergarments" since I would lose bladder control from the pressure and spasms of wretching.

At my worst, I alternated between: wishing I had never gotten pregnant, pleading with God for the misery to end, begging my husband to kill me and desperately trying to keep down frozen carrot slices so that my babies could get SOMETHING. I was about 110 lbs. when I became pregnant and at my HG peak, weighed 90. By the end of my pregnancy, I was up to a whopping 127.

HG sucks all of the joy out of pregnancy. There were many occassions when I was CONVINCED that the babies were trying to kill me. I would lay on the sofa, stare at my belly and wait to die. What I find horrifying, is that my case of HG is probably not even one of the really bad ones. Bad, yes... but by the middle of my second trimester I was off all medications and able to eat (albeit a limited menu). There are so many women out there who go through this condition throughout the entire pregnancy. Some are even so severe that they must terminate the pregnancy in order to live.

I want to watch this show, to see what Ms. Quets has to say. I'm also scared to watch it because I have a feeling that I'll be sobbing the whole show, remembering how horrible it all was, and knowing that if not for the support of my husband, family, and doctor, I could easily be where she is now.

Oh sister,

I am with you! I felt the same way. Resentment still follows me sometimes when I look at

my little one. How could I have wanted to end this? How could I have thought you were

the cause? I know I know.

I cried through the whole show. I felt validated. I was the ONLY one in my doctors office

on a PICC line. I was the only one who was throwing up like this right? When I saw the girl

with the pink bucket I was jumping up and down. I still have my pink bucket. I think

I'll keep it as a badge of courage.

Love ya,

Brigette

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suzannemarie

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April 15, 2007, 8:28 pm PDT

Postpartum Psychosis is not the same as PPD

Quote From: justnancy

I wouldn't want to think of Andrea Yates as the public face of postpartum depression although she definitely suffered from it, there was other stuff going on it would be an insult to the women who have worked through postpartum depression.

Andrea Yates was actually diagnosed with Postpartum Psychosis (PPP), which is a different from Postpartum Depression (PPD). All Postpartum Mood Disorders are related in that that develop after pregnancy, but PPD does not involve hallucinations, voices, breaks with reality, and the kinds of irrational or violent acts that PPP is associated with. www.postpartum.net is has excellent resources and texts.

Also, women suffering with PPP have a wonderful advocate in Carol Blocker, mother of Melanie Stokes, who committed suicide as a result of PPP. www.melaniesbattle.org is a site of awareness, education, and love.

Sadly, I believe society was never going to hear the cry from women with this disease until a story like Andrea Yates's hit the national media. And even still, awareness is lacking and education is desperately needed, especially in the medical community. I have been aware of three cases of PPP related infanticide and infanticide/suicide in counties adjacent to my own. All in less than three years. PPP is real; it is deadly to many; and it, apparently, required a terribly public tragedy to even begin to get some voice.

PPP is not PPD. Recovery and treatments vary. And I have recovered from PPD four times (I happen to be predisposed...yay me to it) which included psychotic elements one time, and I have great compassion for how Andrea Yates must continue to suffer. I will claim her as my sister in this illness any day. She is ill and her illness is not an insult to others with the same or a related diagnosis.

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suzannemarie

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April 15, 2007, 8:36 pm PDT

04/12 Twin Tug of War

Quote From: astrid07

.... I guess I am wondering at what point a person with this illness is considered competent again, and if they are incompetent to make legal choices is it best to leave them to make choices about their childs care at all until they are deemed well?

Women who deliver after HG are absolutely competent UNLESS secondary complications follow, and these are not the norm. Like any pregnant woman, HGers have a 20% chance of developing Postpartum Depression, though I would personally argue the risk would be slightly higher with HG patients due to the metabolic disturbances and depletion caused by the disease. The risk of HGers developing Postpartum Psychosis is the same as the general population of postpartum moms.

Physical recovery time varies. I continue to struggle over one year postpartum, but I was not a strong individual to start. So that would be a consideration for someone estimating healing time. Nourishment during pregnancy impacts recovery greatly, and it really depends, too, on how depleted a woman is how long recovery will take.

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suzannemarie

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April 15, 2007, 8:46 pm PDT

04/12 Twin Tug of War

Quote From: dink1958

I sympathize with Allison, but after reading the message boards, I feel she broke the law when she stole those children and she should be punished for it..She didn't go through the legal process to get the children back. Instead she stole them and took them out of the country..Anyone else who would take their children who were in someone elses custody out of the country without permission would be charged with a crime and punished and so should she..I think her smart lawyer is using her illness when pregnant as an excuse for her stealing those chilren. She didn't have this disease months later when she got the children and took them out of the country..She seems she has emotioal issues and needs treatment..I don't think she should be in jail,but is she emotionally stable to be raising children??..............a viewer

I would totally have emotional issues if someone took my children from me. Allison's suffering and grief over all of this are very real and will leave lasting scars on her heart and her life, but I can say without a doubt that when her babies come home, the "emotional issues" you mention will pretty much resolve.

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lulujustice

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Happy

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April 15, 2007, 9:06 pm PDT

Wow how ignorant are some ppl!

First, I' m glad the Dr. Phil show brought some much needed light to this disease and I hope in the near future he will devote an entire show to this subject so that others can be informed. After 2 years of marriage my husband and I tried for a baby and at 19 I got pregnant with my son. Two weeks after conception, I began vomiting uncontrollably and and ,while some medications helped, did so up until 30 min before my water broke. I lost alot of weight and passed out more than once. My son was born healthy and is now two and a half. We are desiring another child and hope this one will come HG free. I had to respond to ohplease21. I couldn't help but laugh when I read her post. If she were born in a remote jungle and learned nothing till she died, she could not be more ignorant. How many thousands play in casinos knowing the odds against them? Week after week they "play" knowing the house will take them for everything. And yet they still do. And we're not talking about something as important as the miracle of life. Hg is a physical disease, not a mental one, but it does take toll on you. I also had a c-section with my son that complicated recovery. Not to mention sleep deprivation which is a huge factor-there's a reason its still a favored method of torture among some countries,it gets results. Combine all that together and it's hard on a new mom. Life just doesn't return to normal after the baby comes out. That's like saying a cancer survivor should feel fine a week after her last round of chemo. Now, I'm not saying Allison did the right thing. Frankly, I don't know the other side and so I reserve my judgment in her case because I don't know all the facts. But I am saying, you cannot make such a STUPID blanket statement as you did. And, I think there has to be sympathy for someone even if , especially if, you haven't walked in her shoes. You may not have suffered with HG, but maybe there will be a day where you lose two very dear people to you in one day and the next find out you have a rare disease--and you do something you never thought possible for you. It may be something awful, but wouldn't you like it if someone at least tried to understand? You don't have to agree with Allison or those with HG who try again for children, but until you experience something like HG, don't reveal you're exceptionally low IQ with a post like that. I was very fortunate to recover really fast after delivery but certainly empathize with those who didn't. For all those women who have had HG just once or many times, you rock! Congrats on surviving and good luck to you all!!

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gracieandmatt

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Stressed

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April 15, 2007, 11:02 pm PDT

Daughter Suffering from HD

My 26 year old daughter had all the symptoms of HD during her pregnancy. We were never told that she had this disorder but she was treated in the exact same manner.

However! She is still suffering all the same symptoms and her son is 2 years old! To complicate the situation she is also diabetic. Her life is pure misery. She spent 3 weeks in the hospital this past month. She had a PIC line put in and she was sent home. To tell her story would just repeat the stories on the show.

Does anyone have any insights on this? Are there any other cases out there where the symptoms continue after pregnancy? When she first delivered her baby (who by the way is a wonderful healthy little boy) her symptoms seemed like gallstones and she had her gallbladder removed. She improved briefly but in the last year has become progressively worse. The drs have talked about a hysterectomy but have delayed it for over a year - waiting for her body to "get stronger". They also gave her a Lupron shot to shut down her hormones - it helped some as well, but it is not helping at all now and she is on a third shot. Now I am wondering if a hysterectomy will help her?

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flrat69

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Weird

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April 16, 2007, 4:38 am PDT

OK

Quote From: lkholcombrn

I have PTSD from a rape that occured a few years ago. I am currenty on disability for it because of the severity of it. I can tell you from experience that HG CAN cause PTSD. I have flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety (related to the slightest nausea) and other symptoms of PTSD. Just so you know I never had any psych issues before my first pregnancy, then because of the horrid treatment I had and the severity of HG I was suicidal. So obviously you are not well versed on PTSD or what causes it. I would say that HG is nearly as bad as the trauma I endured from the rape.

I would have had no problem listening to you, and quite possibly changing my opinion. The problem is that you are so busy correcting me that you left your manners outside. People can disagree about something like this. I challenge you to go back to my message and find ANYTHING that diminishes the pain of an HG sufferer.

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flrat69

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Weird

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April 16, 2007, 4:40 am PDT

Once Again

Quote From: cashee

Please educate yourself about HG. Women's lives are in danger with this illness if they are not taken seriously and do not recieve effective treatment. They fear for their life and their baby's life. These women are often traumatized from their experience. Many women do develop PTSS and PTSD from this illness. This is a very real and severe disease. Please do not diminish what its full effects can be without knowing what you are talking about.

Here is a great link for your reference so that you can better understand.

http://www.helpher.org/hyperemesis-gravidarum/complications/post-traumatic-stress.php

Here are a few quotes from this link :

People with histories of hyperemesis are at risk for PTSD. The physical and mental stress of having a potentially life-threatening disease (threatening them or their unborn child), not being believed by health professionals, receiving treatment for hyperemesis, and living with unexpected and possibly uncontrolled threats to one's body and life (and one's unborn child) during pregnancy are traumatic experiences for many hyperemetic women.

Hyperemetic women experience pain, distress, extreme fatigue, muscle weakness, incessant nausea and/or vomiting. The sensation of suffocation that accompanies forceful, unrelenting retching or vomiting can be quite traumatic. In fact, inducing that sensation is a torture technique that is documented to cause psychological trauma.

For hyperemesis women, the stressful incident may be related to frequent episodes of vomiting, many relapses with a worsening of symptoms, painful or stressful procedures, fear of death, loss of unborn child, complications such as severe infection or convulsions, scary scenes such as vomiting blood, treatment delays or insufficient treatment, and not being taken seriously. Some women may also experience abandonment and abuse, causing further trauma.

Here is one more quote:

PTSD is defined as the development of certain symptoms following a mentally stressful event that involved actual death or the threat of death, serious injury, or a threat to oneself or others. These events may include being diagnosed with a potentially life-threatening illness. In the case of hyperemesis, the illness threatens the baby and mother if left untreated or inadequately treated. Many hyperemetic women fear death, especially those with more severe symptoms that do not respond to prescribed treatment.

Read my message again. I did no, in any way, diminish the suffering of HG patients. Your crusade is misplaced.

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flrat69

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Weird

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April 16, 2007, 4:41 am PDT

OK

Quote From: lyninsocal

Post Partum Depression. Not PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Talk to your other posters who disagree.

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mroanoke

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Happy

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April 16, 2007, 5:32 am PDT

Thank you, Dr Phil - Thank you, Mike Holfeld - Thank you, Charles Hannasch

With a daughter-inlaw who suffered through HG, I know the terror it can strike in a family!

It can almost destroy the emotional and trust bonds bewtween a husband and wife.

Having worked in a television newsroom for several years, i also know how precious time is in properly preparing a news story for broadcast.

I too would like to thank Dr Phil for giving national exposure to this very scary medical condition, and also thank investigative reporter Mike Holfeld of WKMG-TV in Orlando for his hard work - and to his his wife and family for sacrificing his Christmas vacation to work on the story of Allison Quets (see message titled "Voices of Change)" - and freelance investigative journalist Charles

Hannasch (freelancers are a gutsy lot, putting their time and money on the line every time they tackle a story, much less a story as big and complicated as this one) and his book project.

Maybe the Dr. Phil Foundation may see it to send him a little money to help him on his book?

And maybe even have him as a guest to discuss his book project on the family law court system. There certainly needs a lot to be done to correct all the faults there!

Ladies, remember, this is one of our problems - a female problem, and our three leading supporters are men - not women! It seems a tragedy that some of our female media and political leaders have not done more to work on this problem!

But they are three men - apparently three very caring and compassionate and honorable gentlemen, to each I simply say "Thank you, gentlemen!"

And to Mike Holfeld, I hope you get to enjoy your Christmas vacation this year with your wife and family!

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