Topic : 07/05 180-Degree Turn

I hope others can appreciate your experience and your words too. I'm sorry to know that someone else had a childhood like mine. Our scapegoat was one of my brothers, who was sadistically and repetitively tortured by our mother until he was place in a residential facility. That part actually saved his life. No one knew what was going on in our house everyday and we never told anyone. My other brothers and I were also abused but the one was the target for her incredible rage. She also forced us to participate in abusing him.

I chose never to have children as I knew that I couldn't do it, with my background. My brothers have children and although they haven't done a great job of raising them, they are not physically abused. We are all quite damaged from a functional standpoint, but we did survive and each of us has taken a path to recovery that never included forgiving our mother while she was alive.

Watching the video of Karen's other children being witness to the abuse of the boy, reminded me of what that felt like. Such fear, anxiety, panic, etc....those poor children. I sincerely hope that those days are over in their life and that they'll have the chance to know love, forgiveness, and peace as they grow. Without intervention, Karen may have escalated to my mother's level, who knows.

How many others are there?

So, I understand what you experienced. I'm sorry that your twin could not survive and find her way. I hope that you do.

The original point was one thing.  Now I feel compelled to make more than one point.  Please read what I write without putting other factors into it.  I was NOT accusing you of being naive.  My intent was to ensure that others reading the board were aware that, beyond the financial incentive, many foster children are abused by the foster parent.

My original message was intended for the original poster to reply.  I had hoped she was so sincere in her desire to care for the children that she would have defended herself vigorously.

I do find it interesting that you defended her (a sincere good for you), yet she didn't respond.  Of course that can mean she didn't want to "dignify" my message.  It is equally likely that she was one of the ones who needs to be targeted.  As a foster parent, I felt her reaction was important since so many are ready to throw the woman on the show into the fire. 

You used the term "sarcastic".  With all due respect, the word is not appropriate here.  My terminology was not intended to be offensive.  It was intended and reached the point of bringing up the issue of foster parenting.  If I (for example) were disabled to the point that I received Social Security Disability payments, it would not be sarcastic for someone to ask about those payments in light of documented cases of abuse within that system.  My response would have been to simply state that the benefits are far less than the monies received through employment and, since they are accompanied by great physical pain and the emotional effect of being viewed by some as a side show freak, the money would happily be given up for full health.

I hope this will show you what my intent was.  Clearly I was not effective.  In that light, you have my apology since you appear to have been the person who felt wounded by my message.  In no way did I intend to disparage the many fine foster parents in this country.  I did, however, fully intend to offend those who are not in it for the benefit of the child or children.  I think you would agree with that.

I could continue at length on this subject since I do see the foster care institution in action on a daily basis, but I will pass on that for now. 

this, so called mother, should have her childrent taken away from her.  just have supervised visitation rights.  and she needs to take anger management classes!