I sat on the couch watching this show, shaking my head in amazement at the family theatrics which surrounded Lisa. All addicts simply don't function too well if they have no codependents to support them. Are you reading this, Mom and Sis?
I'll bet this whole family is wrapped tightly around the drama of Lisa, and I hope and pray that they ALL embrace therapy in order to learn to live normally without the chaos, crisis, and confusion which now defines the life they have been living for too long. Lisa sat the better part of their segment dabbing at her eyes. That's called "leaking" when an addict hasn't fully comprehended the seriousness of how low their life has dropped. They aren't able to truly cry, thus the term "leaking".
And when Lisa had to take a pregnant pause to consider jail or no jail, I knew without a doubt that she wasn't serious and ready to surrender to a new way, a new life, a new Lisa.
So to you, Lisa, and all of the Lisa's out there who are drinking and drugging and partying because you say your life is too rough, and you are too young to be saddled with the responsibilities of parenting, you're fooling nobody but yourselves.
Getting clean is serious business meant for people who are serious about recovery. And it's hard. It's lonely at times. It feels empty at the beginning, and the words in the recovery books, i.e. The Big Book, may not make sense at first. Not being able to drink or drug yourself to sleep is incredibly difficult for about three to four weeks. Being informed that you have to choose "different playmates and different playgrounds" means that you literally drop the people you partied with. The phone goes silent, and your e-mails are reduced to minor junk. As the drugs and alcohol leave your body slowly, you ache and have diarrhea and sometimes vomit. You experience some of the most excruciating headaches known to man, and there isn't a joint in your body or a muscle on your bones that doesn't scream out in agony. Your eyelashes even hurt.
Then you go to the meetings where you meet all of these people who look clear-eyed, have deep things to say about their lives, and can actually remember what they said two minutes ago. You still can't remember squat about what you ate for breakfast that morning but something about the resolve and purpose of these people in these meetings draws you back over and over. You hear their stories, their "leads" in meetings, and you begin to realize that you weren't so unique in your past pattern of drug and alcohol abuse. They show you by example that you aren't a victim, that you have worth as a human being, that, by the grace of your Higher Power, you can walk tall and speak legibly, and begin to respect yourself. Your self absorption and selfishness, your laziness and rudeness, your eternal pity party gradually fades away. Life begins to matter deeply to you, and you start to learn to laugh again. You exercise and take walks and enjoy your children and your families . . . they, in turn, embrace you with pathetic eagerness, all the while hoping and praying that you stay just the way you have become.
It's work, people. Hard work. I know. May 23rd of this year I celebrate fifteen years of being clean and sober. It can be done, Lisa, but it is all up to you now. The ball's in your court, girl. Start serving!
(Original Air Date: 04/19/07) Some moms don’t want to grow up, and others don’t want to grow old. Dr. Phil talks to women walking on the wild side and tries to rein them back in! Aubrey says her sister, Elise, would rather drink and party every night than take care of her 8-year-old son. Their mom, Heidi, is raising Elise’s child and says Elise wants to be a parent only when it’s convenient for her. Elise promises her family that she’s going to change, but what will it take for her to get her act together? Dr. Phil has a shocking proposition for her. Then, Greg says his wife, Lisa, is obsessed with plastic surgery and worries that it’s becoming a disease. He says she works at a plastic surgeon’s office just to get a better deal on surgery. Lisa, 39, admits that she’s spent nearly $100,000 on cosmetic procedures so she can look as young as her 21-year-old daughter and wants even more work done. Can Greg convince his wife to stop going under the knife? Talk about the show here.
