Topic : 08/16 Family Drama

Carrie,

I cannot believe how far Dr Phil missed the mark on this one.

We had  a Carrie in our family (but thankfully not as severe).   She was controlling, and had a tremendous memory for every supposed slight.   Unmarried herself, She involved herself deeply in the affairs of her sisters family, and expected to be included in every event.  But she attempted to control every event.  If anyone did not do things her way it was taken as a personal insult to her.  And she never forgot. She remembered every supposed slight.   (Even in her Eighties, she vocally expressed her hate for her father because he sold her bicycle when she was 16.  In those times, it was not lady-like to ride a bicycle.) 

To top it off, everyone around her had to swallow their dignity and take her behavior and control.  But she would never have tolerated similar behavior from someone else.

Her overbearing, controlling behavior made every family event a struggle.  Eventually, we had to sneak off to visits to close family members so she would not invite herself and ruin the event. 

The situation in Carries  was so familiar to me, and I believe there will never be a happy outcome unless Carries behaviors and expectations change.   This situation was not as much about a drama queen (as Doctor Phil characterized), as about a person who is extremely self-centered and controlling and unforgiving.   Anyone who does not submit to her control becomes an enemy. 

 The problem in Carries family is 95% Carrie and her personality.  Dr Phil did a great injustice placing so much blame on the other family members.  They looked like a pretty normal bunch of people of dealing with a family member with a difficult and controlling personality. 

I can truly understand this topic, I too have been labeled the black sheep of the family to the point they say I have by pollar excuse my spelling, mental illness, add, and adhd which is totally untrue per my personal medical doctors. I had this checked out for my own just to see and have some years back to have peace of mind. The only problem I do have is epilepsy, which is a seizure disorder. I have tried for the past eighteen years at least to no avail. I have even at times had to separate myself from them because I did not feel welcome, I would call, show up and no body home and they had made other plans and the tension was too intense. For still some reason, if you do what they say, call, come over, and offer the clean everyday you is not as big of a problem. I have made some major mistakes in my life since leaving home, probable due to trying to leave as soon as I could I am sorry for that, I would change alot yet wish could do family counseling or have everybody meet at a location other than their home and take responsibility for their own part of the tension so that I can stop walking with ulcers and do not feel I have to make an appointment to see certain members of family to avoid the stressors.

Anxious to see the show; HOWEVER, I don't agree with the posters who say that one person is the "scapegoat" who is singled out. It's not always that way.

I have been happily married for 18 years. My husband's younger brother (there are 5 siblings) comes and goes for years at a time, never telling us where he is and if he is ok.

After reappearing for a year or so, he'll leave again. He believes the family has the problem, but the reality is that the family is close and fun and fuctional. There is no chaos. Everyone gets along and has a nice time together. Perhaps there is not ENOUGH chaos for his type of personality or perhaps he has mental problems (he's adopted like two other siblings & his biological mother was mentally ill...also suicidal, having thrown herself in front of a bus).

Sometimes that BLACK SHEEP is indeed the one with the problem! Cant' wait to see the show to learn what the case is with the guest.

I completely agree. I was shocked that Dr. Phil seemed to be so fooled by her. Very disappointing. Although her entire family seems to thrive on drama, she seems to be, by far, the worst one. Everything is about her. It's messed up.