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Topic : 08/01 Know-It-All In-Laws

Number of Replies: 344
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Created on : Friday, April 20, 2007, 02:37:54 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/25/07) In-laws can be the kind who give unwanted advice, stop by unexpectedly and use guilt and manipulation to get what they want. But sometimes, they are loving parents who get caught in the middle of their child's relationship. Amanda calls her mother-in-law, Yolande, psychotic, controlling and meddling. She says Yolande speaks to her son, Pierre, in French so she can hide the hurtful words she’s using about Amanda. Yolande says Amanda is a drunk, and an uneducated woman who is wrecking her son's life. Why does Pierre say he can't choose a side? To test Amanda's theory of why Yolande and Pierre speak French to each other, Dr. Phil sets up a "special" dinner for the three of them. Be a fly on the wall, and find out if Amanda's right or just being paranoid. And, John and Chrissy's engagement is on hold because they say they can't stop fighting. They hit and slap each other, and call each other vulgar names — often in front of their 8-month-old son. John's mom, Charlene, who is often pulled into their fights, says they both need to grow up! After watching themselves scream and yell on tape, will this couple decide to drop their fists, close their mouths and work to make a peaceful home for their baby? Join the discussion.

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April 25, 2007, 3:20 am CDT

04/25 Know it All In-Laws

Quote From: yjenny

 

I am surprised to see how the French speaking situation is misrepresented. I only speak French with my son when his wife is not present or if I make a remark about food in a restaurant.. If you look at the restaurant scene on the video, you should notice that the wife is not present. We did not utter one single French word in the presence of Amanda during the dinner. We only spoke French while she went to the bar to drink and smoke.

Would you be critical of Hispanic immigrants who speak Spanish in front of an American in-law?

 

My ex did exactly that through our marriage I felt like the biggest fool in the world not only that but the dumbest stupidest person ever when I would ask him what they were talking about I paid for it big time. I not only think it is rude but disrespectful I agree she can take french classes to learn the language but it shouldn't be happening in the first place.

 

His wife should be first priority over everyone including his mom!!  If there were a Hispanic person speaking in front of a American in law I would say the same thing. Respect,respect,respect.....Im glad that they hold on to their french language but there is a time and a place maybe they could offer to teach her then she would feel included.

 
April 25, 2007, 4:32 am CDT

My thoughts on this

My in-laws do not bother us.  My mother-in-law may annoy my husband but she doesn't bother me.  My parents don't butt in either and we leave our daughter to manage her family.  That being said here are some things I would do if I had in-laws like these:

 

1.  Block their phone number so they can't call you or anyone in your family

2.  Block their email addresses so they can't email you or anyone in your family

3.  Tell them point blank with no subtlety that they are only welcome in your home at your invitation and if they behave in a civilized and gracious manner.  If not, they will be asked to leave and not invited back.

4.  It is my home along with my husband,  We lay the rules of conduct down in it.  That includes telephone and email rules.  If the in-laws don't like it, tough.

5.  If my husband didn't support me in these things, I would tell him to make a choice - us or them.

 

Our home is our sanctuary from the world - including meddling in-laws.  We can't choose our family but we can choose our friends.  I have family members that aren't welcome in our home because of their actions.  If the other members don't like it, too bad.  It is our home.

 
April 25, 2007, 4:41 am CDT

I know the mother in law feeling

I really know how it feels to live in a house with mother inlaw problems , i as a child had experianced my grandmother  being mean to my mom and I have had that effect me in the long run , i just wish people would understand that realtionships are between them and other people should just but out ,!!!!!
 
April 25, 2007, 4:41 am CDT

Re: Know it all in-laws

I feel very sorry for the first women who's husband failed to support her in regard to his mother.

My in-laws treated me very poorly. I was in my 40's when I married my husband. I had to address them as Mr & Mrs even after we married. When our first child was born - I was informed I could now call them " Grandma & Pop". I had lived in the country for all of my life. I had worked hard as a nurse and was financially secure (own home etc). My mother in-law would always point out to me the difference between city and country folk (they were from the north shore in Sydney - Australia). She would constantly pick me up on my speech. She was disrespectful at every opputunity - yet expected everyone to treat her like royalty! Hence our marraige is over.

 
April 25, 2007, 5:02 am CDT

04/25 Know it All In-Laws

Quote From: yjenny

 

I am surprised to see how the French speaking situation is misrepresented. I only speak French with my son when his wife is not present or if I make a remark about food in a restaurant.. If you look at the restaurant scene on the video, you should notice that the wife is not present. We did not utter one single French word in the presence of Amanda during the dinner. We only spoke French while she went to the bar to drink and smoke.

Would you be critical of Hispanic immigrants who speak Spanish in front of an American in-law?

 

Yes, I would - because it is RUDE.  The only reason to speak another language in the presence of someone who doesn't understand it is to exclude that person from the conversation and make them feel bad. 

 

If you only ever speak French with your son when Amanda isn't around, how could she be aware that you do it at all?  I don't think the situation was misrepresented.  I think the behavior speaks for itself.

 
April 25, 2007, 5:24 am CDT

Yes, I would be

Quote From: yjenny

 

I am surprised to see how the French speaking situation is misrepresented. I only speak French with my son when his wife is not present or if I make a remark about food in a restaurant.. If you look at the restaurant scene on the video, you should notice that the wife is not present. We did not utter one single French word in the presence of Amanda during the dinner. We only spoke French while she went to the bar to drink and smoke.

Would you be critical of Hispanic immigrants who speak Spanish in front of an American in-law?

 

I would be just as critical about Hispanics or Greeks or any other ethnic group speaking in their native language in front of me.  It is rude regardless of the language.  And if French is his native language, not using it for a while won't cause him to forget it.  Get a grip and get out of their lives!  It is a good thing you aren't my mother-in-law!
 
April 25, 2007, 5:44 am CDT

04/25 Know it All In-Laws

Quote From: yjenny

 

I am surprised to see how the French speaking situation is misrepresented. I only speak French with my son when his wife is not present or if I make a remark about food in a restaurant.. If you look at the restaurant scene on the video, you should notice that the wife is not present. We did not utter one single French word in the presence of Amanda during the dinner. We only spoke French while she went to the bar to drink and smoke.

Would you be critical of Hispanic immigrants who speak Spanish in front of an American in-law?

 

Misrepresented, then maybe you should speak to the producers about that.

It is rude when you know that the other person is being left out for lack of understanding, it really is, tell me if you couldn NOT speak English, and that's the language everyone used (this of course KNOWING they're bi lingual) around you, would YOU not feel left out and maybe a bit paranoid as to what's being said ? Yes I would imagine you would.  My sister and I are lucky enough to know the language, enough to get through Montreal or Quebec City, so yeah when my SIL and her Mom started that crap in front of me, and I was answering them, they soon stopped.

I wonder though why her husband dosen't try teaching her some phrases ?

 
April 25, 2007, 6:26 am CDT

Save yourself, Amanda!!!!!

Get out, Amanda!  Divorce this pathetic excuse for a man and husband.  He does not love you.  He is not capable of love.  He has an emotional incestuous relationship with "Mommy Dearest".  He is not mature enough to respect the sanctity of your marriage.  He and his mother are EVIL, pathetic excuses for human beings, obviously devoid of any moral compass.  Don't let them destroy you.  You deserve much better.
 
April 25, 2007, 6:34 am CDT

MIL is crazy!

The mother-in-law speaks French, so here is something she should understand: Madame, vous êtes idiots. Soyez un adulte et recevoir une vie! I hear these horror stories about mohters-in-law and I'm glad I am not married! Too many momma's boys out there and I'll be darned if I marry someone who can't cut the cord! How dare that woman treat her son like that! As a previous message poster said, le francais est une belle langue and very easy to learn. I've been speaking it for 15 years! Poor girl should learn French in secret and the next time this happens, she could shock her so-called family with her comprehension. Or, get out! The MIL is cleary nuts and needs help!
 
April 25, 2007, 6:36 am CDT

04/25 Know it All In-Laws

Quote From: yjenny

 

I am surprised to see how the French speaking situation is misrepresented. I only speak French with my son when his wife is not present or if I make a remark about food in a restaurant.. If you look at the restaurant scene on the video, you should notice that the wife is not present. We did not utter one single French word in the presence of Amanda during the dinner. We only spoke French while she went to the bar to drink and smoke.

Would you be critical of Hispanic immigrants who speak Spanish in front of an American in-law?

 

I can't wait for you to read my post. You cleary have issues. Take care of them yourself instead of blaming someone else. Join a club, find a hobby, get a job! Hey- teach French!
 
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