Topic : 04/26 Obsessive Love

that so many keep coming back with the same stuff over & over.  To come up with a time line I'm not sure would do any good.  I think many as well as I have quoted from the program that Jeffrey said  "it was shortly after we married I started to question her".   funny thing it was shortly "after they married" huh?  It's equally as odd that here this teenager found herself in a position where she felt she "had to do the right thing" & marry this guy because she was pregnant & here years later he's be trying to trick her into a pregnancy by faking a vasectomy "to get their sex life back on track".  LOL this poor woman was taken as a kid & tricked by a man & now is smart enough to know that the only way to not have an oppsie pregnancy is to not have sex with him at all & he's STILL trying to trick her.  I heard her some where say she just adores all of her children but that she did not want any more children and that's why she no longer would sleep with him.  She'd said that her youngest was an unplanned pregnancy.  Can you imagine?  No wonder she was freaking out thinking he was putting something in her chocolate milk. 

Since this show and the messages of so many questioning behaviors that are seemingly normal here my husband & I have had more than a couple of laughs.  The other day I'd gotten a email from an old girlfriend I haven't seen in many many years but who I'd been real close to in high school.  She signed her email with hugs & kisses & said "I can't wait to see my beautiful old friend".  I showed hubby the email & he laughed & asked "so this is your lesbian lover?"

I am SO grateful to God to be in a life where something full of emotion & yet innocent isn't taken completely out of context & turned into something ugly.  Treating each other that wasy is so forgien to us it's almost humorus & yet it's so tradgic that for many it's their reality? 

Even her going out with co-workers for drinks was taken way out of context.  She'd gone with a group from work & 1 of them happened to be a man her husband was targeting as a "lover" & yet to hear people tell it she was out "bar hopping" & her friends & it was made to sound like it was all the time.  Frankly I'm surprised she came home at all at night knowing that as she slept he'd been watching her.  I've also heard that the first "affair" she had was taken way out of context to & that she was actually seperated from Jeffrey & he had threatened her to leave & had done so.  He'd gone to another state (Florida) to look to find & set up a house & looked to be moving on.  The man he came home & found with his wife was doing nothing more than making a trip to the Zoo with Jennifer & I guess the youngest child?    I don't know where this came from though & I'd only heard another poster say this.  There's a lot more about this out on the internet though & so that info has been coming back into the boards here.  I do feel for Jennifer & Ihope she's in a REAL safe place with a LOT of people around her. 

you say you're too prouwd to go ask for help from family who lives wayout of state? 

Don't be ashamed honey it's not your shame to bear it's his!  If your children are grown & you can go to another state then just go.................  Perhaps another state & a new start might just be the ticket you need & want.  When you get to where you're going try checking into the community colleges to see what jobs they have to offer & at the same time what programs are in place for returning students.  There ARE private charities that are set up to help you but you need to seek them out.  You'd be surprised the things that might be available to you & how you may be able to slip right into classes & getan associates degree in no time.  At the same time you could work at the school or go through their counseling center to find employement.  If there's a particular field that you're interested in then go to that field for example if you'd been working for lawyers perhaps looking into certifying as a Legal assistant.  Then if there are apprentice jobs you could slip in that way.  The experience of returning adults is normally reguarded very well by the community colleges & you may even qualify to test to get credit for your experience!   If you're feeling unsure of what's available then do a search of the colleges where your family is located to see what they have to offer.  Check into the programs offered in a field you may be interested in.   See what Scolarships are being offered etc & check the jobs message boards.   Check into programs that are partly supported by womens programs too.  There are many looking to help their sisters.........:) 

Don't be ashamed of asking for help in getting on your feet, because by doing so you are essentially taking care of yourself.  You say with a degree and a good job you think you can make it & I know you can.  It's out there honey so just get up & go find take it. 

     The last part of this show was awesome. I loved it.

      Dr. Phil needs to do more shows like this one.......

    It was funny to see jeffrey running down the streets, hopping from cab to cab trying to get to LAX and trying to beat his wife home...

     That was FUNNY

You find it funny that this man was terrozing his wife? 

that's the saddest thing I'd heard all day. 

I wish I understood why no one has responded to the above comment.  It really is a serious proble.

Your story sent chills down my spine - but you have to protect yourself and your babies!  I have a friend who was in the just about the same situation, except she had boys & they were a little older than your girls.  Even after divorce her husband stalked her all the time.  What he didn't know is she taught herself how to shoot her hand gun.  She became VERY skilled at her aim and was never without her gun.  When the day came that he surprised her and started to assult her at a public driving range (in front of her 3 boys) she whipped out that pistol and had the confidence to hold him off until the cops came and arrested him.  Had there not been other people around to help her, I know in my heart she would have shot him to death.  He has since moved out of state to parts unknown, but my friend is never without her pistol and her boys are now just about grown men.  It has been a tremendous struggle for her to raise those boys without any support, but she has held her head up high and done a super job.  You can too.  Please - above anything else right now learn some sort of self defense, you can even include your girls and learn martial arts but never let your guard down, those girls need their mom!