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Topic : 04/26 Obsessive Love

Number of Replies: 2618
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 20, 2007, 02:39:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
“When I think I’ve seen it all, then I get a wake-up call,” Dr. Phil says of his guests who are involved in a very intense relationship. Jeffrey's obsession with his wife, Jennifer, has careened out of control during their 11-year marriage. He says he loves her so much he goes to extremes to watch her every move. He's tracked her with a GPS device, listened to her phone conversations, trapped her in their home and alienated her from her friends and family. But is there something more sinister Jeffrey's done that he's been hiding? Jennifer says she's ready to leave her controlling and jealous husband once and for all. Has she been up to no good, and is Jeffrey justified in his snooping? Jeffrey wants to save his marriage and family, but is Jennifer willing to stand by him? Dr. Phil unravels the jealously, lies and abuse to see if this marriage can be saved, or if it's really Jennifer who needs to be saved from Jeffrey. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 13, 2007, 1:46 pm CDT

brandon, if you really love

your wife and children you would want to stay away from them until you have had time and help to change. if you love them you would not want them to be abused in any way, shape, or form, by you.  why would you want someone that you love to be called names and to be hurt ? if you love them, you will choose to stay away until you have had enough time to learn and encorporate new coping skills regardless of what amy may want or you may want right now. instant gratification cannot compare with long term healthy gratification. amy,  you both need therapy. if the two of you do not enlighten yourselves to a new way of living,  your children will end up in therapy because of you. they may already need it.
 
September 20, 2007, 1:24 pm CDT

is dr. phil a one hour show?

does anyone know how many  minutes of the dr. phil show is commercials and how much actual show time we view? i keep forgetting to count the commercials. maybe i should just track the time the show is on, it might be easier. i like dr. phil but how many commercials are needed to pay his salary?
 
November 26, 2007, 9:18 am CST

Hes a good man, give him a chance I say!

I just watched the latest show from this "obsessive love", in Denmark.

 

I gotta say... first, I was totally against this guy Jeefrey, but seriusly, when I see how sad he is and how much he really feel sorry about this..... C'mon dudes, give him a chance, hes a good man!

Ofcource, I feel bad for Jannifer too... but anyway..

 

I don't know if Jeffrey will read or hear about this, but I believe in you man and support you thw whole way if you can handle this and make this right, because it really feels like you want the marriage ti stay alive.

 

Best of luck man, keep on going!

 
January 11, 2008, 11:17 am CST

Heh.

Heh,

it was very much expected that he'd end up in jail, at least to me. I've been in a relationship with some guy that has been doing similar stuff. I saw how similar they were, and what he did when the relationship ended. They always seem to be ending up having the same habbits as before.

When someone's personal help stops they come back in the same routine. It's just like a serial killer getting out of jail again.  B-).

 

 
February 27, 2008, 1:56 pm CST

Kimberly

Quote From: babyblue546

I really appreciate it.  I went to a women's retreat this weekend with a co-worker and her church, it was an awesome experience.  I needed it way more than I thought and got way more out of it than I anticipated.  Thank you again.  I am learning to love AZ, the retreat was in Prescott, what a great area!  You are awesome for taking the time to reply to my message out of the thousands that are on there. 

 

Kimberly

It's been ages but maybe you'll check back one day. I just ran across your response and was shocked when you said the retreat was in Prescott. We live in Prescott Valley, 8 miles down highway 69.  What a small world this is. I hope you had a chance to go into the downtown area of Prescott. It's a lovely little town.

I hope things have gotten better for you,

Kim

 
May 22, 2008, 4:27 am CDT

Jens hot

 btw Jen if you're ever in Australia come and see me ok? ; )
 
May 27, 2008, 9:55 am CDT

i agree

Quote From: trisam

Not once did I hear Dr. Phil say anything to her about the affair and I am so sorry but if my husband heard a phone message from a man stating "you must be in the bath tub" he would go a little nutsy also.  Granted, Jeffery is way over the top and is mentally ill but she didn't help the situation by cheating.  Dr. Phil just skipped over the phone message like it is normal for a "guy friend" to make that statement.  I think Jennifer has led him on a little.  That just shouldn't happen when you are in a marriage, period.  

Of all the responses to this story, yours is the only one I have seen (so far) that seems to touch on the other side,  but you have copped your fair share of criticism for doing so.

 

I watch this show in Australia so I'm probably several weeks (if not months) behind the U.S. screening dates but I found this story to be enormously one sided when it came to who the 'victim' was.

 

Like you, I accept that Jeffery's behaviour was (and is) totally out of control and inappropriate but 'dangerous'? I don't think so. The fact that a call to the Dr. Phil show eventually landed him in jail makes you realize that with the right spin, a person can be portrayed as a potentially violent fugitive when he (apparently) has never exhibited any such behaviour. Controlling yes but violent?

 

It's ironic that Jennifer's biggest fear was that he was going to pack up the kids and leave when her desire was to do exactly the same! (Note how she constantly referred to them as "my kids") Now the kids can't see their dad at all which, granted, was a consequence of his inability to control his obsessive behavior but I do think his suspicions of Jennifer's infidelity had some basis in truth. Now I agree that no amount of infidelity gives a person the right to put someone in a box but I do believe that if a person is unhappy in a marriage, flirting and myspacing and barhopping is not the way to deal with it.

 

 Dr. Phil did seem to conveniently avoid talking about Jennifer's behavior but I wonder how Ok he would be if Robin was going out til the early hours of the morning drinking with a male co-worker.

 

My feeling is that Jennifer, (a beautiful young woman by most standards) had decided long ago that marrying Jeffery was a mistake but, by her own admission, was afraid to leave because of the kids, the house, the financial security etc. Unable to seek a divorce (which would have solved all her problems from day 1) she decides to allay her fears that doing so would leave her alone and without affection by 'putting herself out there'. The fact that she actually felt she needed a MySpace page speaks volumes about her need to reassure herself that she was a vital and attractive woman. Sexy messages and late night drinking sessions are Ok for a single woman but totally inappropriate behaviour for a wife and mother of young kids.

It's like testing the water without actually getting wet.

 

Dr. Phil was determined to focus on Jeffery's 'extreme behavior' because that was the shows agenda and it was great TV to see poor Jennifer bursting into tears at every opportunity and claiming she was the innocent victim of a her husbands unfounded suspicions. In fact, the inference was that it was his behavior (not her desire to get out and party) that was ruining the marriage and that everything would be OK if he just stopped.. 

 

Unfortunately Jeffery is his own worst enemy. Most of us know that you can't nail someone's feet to the floor once they have decided  to go. When it became obvious to him that Jennifer didn't love him any more he should have sought a divorce himself and got on with his life.

 

Mind you, although I believe she has an absolute right to walk away from the marriage, I don't believe it gives her the right to take the kids with her - but that's a whole other argument.

 

Obviously his insecurity and his inability to cope on his own is never going to allow him to move on and my bet is he'll probably find another 'doormat' to take care of him.

 

All in all it's a shame that people end up in these situations. I read a quote somewhere that went

 

"Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts and don't put up with people who are reckless with yours"

 

I think so much of this would be avoided if we were just honest with each other.

 

Thanks for considering my opinion

 

Gavin

 
February 25, 2009, 10:48 am CST

octuplets

this is crazy.  Why are we still talking about this?  I can't watch another talk show about this issue.

It's really non of our business.  We can talk about her irresponsibility from now until doomsday, but it won't make any difference now.  let her just get on with her life and leave her alone.  If she can't deal with the consequences of her decisions, then we can talk about how to help those kids, but give her a chance first.

 

 
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