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Topic : 04/26 Obsessive Love

Number of Replies: 2618
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, April 20, 2007, 02:39:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
“When I think I’ve seen it all, then I get a wake-up call,” Dr. Phil says of his guests who are involved in a very intense relationship. Jeffrey's obsession with his wife, Jennifer, has careened out of control during their 11-year marriage. He says he loves her so much he goes to extremes to watch her every move. He's tracked her with a GPS device, listened to her phone conversations, trapped her in their home and alienated her from her friends and family. But is there something more sinister Jeffrey's done that he's been hiding? Jennifer says she's ready to leave her controlling and jealous husband once and for all. Has she been up to no good, and is Jeffrey justified in his snooping? Jeffrey wants to save his marriage and family, but is Jennifer willing to stand by him? Dr. Phil unravels the jealously, lies and abuse to see if this marriage can be saved, or if it's really Jennifer who needs to be saved from Jeffrey. Talk about the show here.

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April 26, 2007, 7:12 am CDT

She's to blame too

I do not think that his actions are justified....and I do think she should probably get out while she can....but she is to blame too....her actions are that of a young single female then that of a married mother. I'm 22 years old with my second child on the way....and I can't feel sorry for her....other than she needs to get out....because he does seem he could get dangerous...but she really needs to grow up and act her age!!

 
April 26, 2007, 7:12 am CDT

Get out of there!

That woman needs to take her kids, walk away, and don't look back!  She is caught up in a vicious cycle which she is a part of.  He has a sickness that cannot be cured with her in his life.  There is nothing positive in this relationship so it needs to come to an end quickly!
 
April 26, 2007, 7:13 am CDT

04/26 Obsessive Love

I believe that once you get married you should no longer be going out to the bars without your spouse. Or having friends of the opposite sex. The things the husband is doing is wrong and I do not condone it. The things the wife is doing is also wrong and feeding her husbands jealousy. My husband and I are best friends and we enjoy spending our time together. Once every few months I do get together with my girlfriends at a coffee shop. We drink our lattes and catch up on things. My husband will get together with a few friends and they ride their harley's and maybe take a break at a restaurant to eat and talk. This couple needs consuling, they both need to make some changes and become friends!

Karen

 
April 26, 2007, 7:14 am CDT

Are you kidding me???

This woman needs to quit allowing this man to treat her this way.   What  was she thinking when she started to allow him to treat her this way? This didn't happen overnight. Nobody deserves this kind of treatment.  I don't believe this man will ever be able to quit behaving in this manner either.  I would set down some rules and the first time he broke the rules, I would be out of there.   How can you call this a marriage or love?  This relationship is really out there!  I would have a very hard time not fearing him. 

 

 

 
April 26, 2007, 7:15 am CDT

Just Crazy

Dr. Phil,

I am just really surprised that there are still women today who allow themselves to be subjected to this type of relationship. Of course I hear her when she says she feels trapped and afraid b/c she doesn't know what she will do, but what about community programs/support?

I STRONGLY recommend that she gets out asap. She may even need to be a protection program. He has severly crossed the line when it comes to snooping, trust etc. No matter what she has been doing (affairs), nothing can warrant him or give him justification to watch and listen to her in the manner that he has.

Please help her to get out, b/c he needs some serious 'in patient' care. I hope she and her children survive.

 
April 26, 2007, 7:15 am CDT

She's also to blame.. Jennifer can't have her cake and eat it too!

No Doubt this Guy is Koo-Koo for Cocoa Puffs!!!  But....

 

What bothers me is that for eleven years she's known what a whack job this guy is but stays because:

 

1. She doesn't have the MONEY to leave... (was that a mercedes I saw her driving?)

2. Kids love their dad and he is a good father.

 

So if you know what a whacko your husband is, why have you cheated twice on him, insisted to have a my space page, still emailing guys, and going to bars until 3:00 am with friends that include a guy? 

 

Is it just me or is it that if he is the fire.. she is the gasoline.  And she keeps fueling that fire.  Instead of fanning the flames, she could move into a shelter and take herself out of that awful situation.  But folks, some people can't let go of the luxuries and would rather appear to be the victim.

 

He needs major help.  But she is driving him deeper into his psychosis by fooling around.

 

I don't feel sorry for her at all. 

 

If you want to cheat.. then leave.

 
April 26, 2007, 7:15 am CDT

ABUSE

Quote From: nbsnbs

The husband said the wife tries to get her to hit her. In my opinion (and from personal experience) she does this because every fiber of her knows that she's abused. It's just very difficult to call it "abuse" when you've never been hit....your friends discount the allegation; the police don't call this "abuse." Nobody confirms your own personal diagnosis...you are an abused woman who's never been actually punched.

Dr. Phil,

 

As you are aware, emotional abuse is worse than physical.  Physical will leave evidence.  The wife in this case should get out of this marriage!  I do not believe this husband will change.  It is my opinion he may be unable to change, even though he says he wants to.  The children may be suffering.  I don't know if the parents display arguments in front of the children, but I don't see how the anger and emotional stress can be hidden from them.  I grew up in an emotional and physical abuse home, not on the childrent, between the parents.  We used to pray our parents would get a divorce.  They finally did, when we were adults.  My father said he stayed in the marriage because of us.  He has apologized for the home life we endured as children.  My mother never did.

 
April 26, 2007, 7:16 am CDT

For the safety of your children and yourself.

This is a very sad situation.  Unfortunately, this happens in the world today.  Jennifer needs to escape now before there is no turning back.  Please remember, the news stories of the estranged partners (both male and female) who have harmed both their ex and the children in some cases to get back at the other. 

 

I was in a bad situation once.  Go to the local authorities and get a restraining order.  Use the tape from the Dr. Phil show!  You have more than enough proof of danger.  The local authorities will have contacts for safe houses until you can get away on your own.  Let your employer know of the situation, they may even be able to transfer you without knowledge of your husband.

 

My situation improved 500% after I took that very difficult first step.  My ex realized that he could not control me any longer.  We went a year without talking.  He picked up our child with police escort and returned him the same way every time.  It was a guaranteed way of no communication between us except to discuss needs of our child.  The courts ordered anger management and therapy for him.  He is now a much better person.

 

I myself and my children attended therapy for a long time to get ourselves back together.  I thank God every day for those sessions.  They helped to understand why I dealt with it for so long.  Good luck to you and best of luck.  Please be careful and remember all those children who did not make it.

 

God Bless!

 
April 26, 2007, 7:17 am CDT

obsessive love

I would just like to respond to the show today, and i don't think she should stay to work this out. He has made it very clear that no matter what she say's or does he won't beleave her.I think that she should move away get help and keep her and her kids as far away from him untill he gets proper help. I really think that if she stays for the kids or b/c of money she will end up the next murder victom of a jelous husband. He in my eyes has lost the right to even be called that(HUSBAND).I think that a man that acts in the way he does is not her husband he is her stalker. I pray for her and her kids i and i hope she gets out before it is too late.

         Best of luck to her and her kids.

                     

          Heather in New York

 
April 26, 2007, 7:20 am CDT

What a sad sad case

I am so discussed with this man. How dare he use love as a reason for his behavior. Dr Phil, really this man can not be helped. And I agree that his wife's life will be in jeopardy if she stays with him.

I don't think I have ever heard anything this sad and bizarre on your show. This "husband" certainly is a sick man and dangerous.

 

 
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