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Topic : 04/26 Obsessive Love

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Created on : Friday, April 20, 2007, 02:39:18 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

“When I think I’ve seen it all, then I get a wake-up call,” Dr. Phil says of his guests who are involved in a very intense relationship. Jeffrey's obsession with his wife, Jennifer, has careened out of control during their 11-year marriage. He says he loves her so much he goes to extremes to watch her every move. He's tracked her with a GPS device, listened to her phone conversations, trapped her in their home and alienated her from her friends and family. But is there something more sinister Jeffrey's done that he's been hiding? Jennifer says she's ready to leave her controlling and jealous husband once and for all. Has she been up to no good, and is Jeffrey justified in his snooping? Jeffrey wants to save his marriage and family, but is Jennifer willing to stand by him? Dr. Phil unravels the jealously, lies and abuse to see if this marriage can be saved, or if it's really Jennifer who needs to be saved from Jeffrey. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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kajeco3

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Relaxed

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April 26, 2007, 5:35 pm PDT

OBSESSIVE LOVE?

Jeffery is a very dangerous man. Jennifer needs to RUN not walk. RUN as fast and as far as possible. This man does not want to change. This man will not change. This is one unhealthy marriage. Dr. Phil is SO right on about this man. He wants to have his actions approved so he can feel good about keeping it up. It's NOT OK - it will NEVER be OK and nothing will ever justify his actions. This man is SICK! This man is DANGERIOUS! RUN JENNIFER RUN!

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maryosfd

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Happy

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April 26, 2007, 5:36 pm PDT

Obsessive Love

Hi Dr Phil.

Please help this poor women and her kids. The kids have already been affected by his behavior. She has no self worth to take the step to walk out. I know for a fact that he will get his maybe not in this live time but it will come.

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musicchick18

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Depressed

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April 26, 2007, 5:36 pm PDT

04/26 Obsessive Love

hes lost it, she should leave him cause she can do way better, and its not right for there children to have to deal with that

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finallyhappy

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Peaceful

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April 26, 2007, 5:36 pm PDT

she is also responsible

Quote From: marsplasti

She is not responsible for his insecurities. He somewhere in childhood and along the way got these insecurities. His parents might have had a hand in that or the way he lived as a child.

Look at the way he looks. He probably got rejected alot growing up and from women.I was shocked that Jennifer gave him a second look but abusers can be very charming and manipulative and promise you the world. I should know for my abuser gave me everything and fooled me into thinking I would have and had the perfect life. To the outside world I did but inside the four walls horrific things were happening. I also got the flowers and candy after the abuse took place and forgave my ex; but guess what? The abuse continued until I changed who I was.

I couldnt change my ex and I didnt care anymore if he changed. That was the day of my freedom.

When I decided to change me and work on myself my whole world opened up and I managed to get away from my ex's control. Was it easy? No; but if I can do it anybody can.

She eggs him on with his crap, too. I had a strange feeling that she was enjoying this DRAMA a bit too much...sadly.

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kbouzianis

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Relaxed

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upset

April 26, 2007, 5:36 pm PDT

Be reasonable

Quote From: snackcat11

I don't believe 'poor, little, victimized' Jennifer is any less than a very self-centered, selfish, drama queen who is thoroughly loving ALL of the attention that she is getting. I think she has her husband wrapped right around her little finger and plays him like a trumpet.

That said, there is absolutely nothing acceptable or tolerable about his behavior, or hers for that matter. She married young and fast and started her affairs very early in the marriage. She could and should have left him if she didn't like or love him; and he should have tossed her out on her a** right then!

Obviously their situation of mutually accelerating responses has escalated to a very dangerous point ... obviously very serious, and I hope Dr. Phil can help both of them to untangled such an ugly, prolonged web of deception, tease, jealousy, betrayal, humiliation, and retatiation.

After Dr. Phil 'breaks' the husband into a recognition and acceptance of the horrendousness of his behavior, I hope he will 'go to work' on the wife. In my opinion, she is equally responsible, she contributes equally to the drama, and I think she even stimulates it.

snackcat11:

You are slightly mistaken. No one (man or woman) asks to be treated that way. It is despicable and degrading. Even if she were to have an affair it justifies him stalking her, molesting her, drugging her and demeaning her. Why not get a divorce or even try marriage counseling. The statement you posted is atrocious about her stimulating his actions. How does someone go about doing that? Your opinions are a little twisted yourself.

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sac1rmh

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Happy

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April 26, 2007, 5:36 pm PDT

04/26 Obsessive Love

Quote From: flcopper

Dr. Phil, maybe i missed the part that you confront Jennifer for the infidelity (X2). Jeff may have dug his grave but Jennifer gave him the shovel. Jeff is a very disturbed man, but loosing trust once (cheating), becoming a little paranoid then catching her cheating again, I can see that putting someone over the edge. His acts are disgusting don't get me wrong, but doctor Phil are you believing shes totally Innocent in this situation? I hope you will be looking into her world a little bit more on your next show, there is definitely a contributing factor here.

FL Copper

That's Right. Keep it balanced Dr. Phil. She has some unusual stuff going on below the surface.

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french_deedee

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Worried

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worried

April 26, 2007, 5:37 pm PDT

Very concerned about Jennifer

I watched the show today and cannot express how shocked I was at this man's behavior and how concerned I am for Jennifer.

Even though some people are saying that it takes two, who knows how faithful and great a wife Jenny would have been if treated with respect and love.

Let me doubt the love he has for her - as it is not the way you behave when you love someone. This man is obsessed in a very unhealthy manner and has been pushing her further and further away by his jealousy.

As for myself, I have always been of the opinion that I want the person I love with me because they want to be - and not because they feel obligated to be - never mind terrified to leave me. What does that bring in your life? There is nothing to gain out of attaching a partner to a picket... and everything to lose. Total freedom of choice is the only way to go. If staying true to this principle means staying alone, I am willing to accept this. At least, I respect the other and hold on to my self-respect.

This guy is deeply troubled and might end up killing her if she leaves him. No wonder she feels trapped. In his present state of mind, he belongs in a padded cell; so unless he can be helped and cured - if that's even possible - he should NOT be left in society. And, even if considered cured one day, I don't feel he should be in contact with Jennifer in any way.

The only problem are the children who love him and don't realize the danger. That is a good one for you to solve Dr. Phil!

Jennifer has my deepest concern and sympathy.

French Dee_dee

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tawascity

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Good

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April 26, 2007, 5:37 pm PDT

04/26 Obsessive Love

Quote From: jjbeastie

Whewwwww Weeeeee Go YOU! Yes, she's playing with fire. Any one who has an affair the first year of marriage isn't interested in being married. That's what I thought. As I said before:

She basically wanted a sick realationship and still does. They both do and they both want to keep it. They've been to counseling 4 times and left it, they told them they should separate. I think she could have called them back and screamed for help if she was serious. If she has enough energy and backbone to have had two affairs and keep a "my space" running, she has enough energy to find away out if she want it! I think we are being B.S.'d.

And as I said before - eek - these monkeys have children... God help us all!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!

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tad1963

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Peaceful

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anxious

April 26, 2007, 5:37 pm PDT

Obsessive Love

Dear Dr. Phil,

If you read your message boards, please please please get her out of that house NOW. I so hope you have your staff getting her children while they are on the show, and you have a safe house ready for her after the show. He will kill her if he thinks she's going to leave. It is so obvious!

I am terrified for her and her children. For anyone who thinks she's an idiot for staying, then you haven't walked a mile in her shoes. Do not judge abused women, because abuse starts subtly and slowly until it's too late. I know, I watched my mother go through it for 12 years before she got the strength to leave. She told my dad, you can kill me now or I'm getting a divorce, either way I'm leaving. This was before safe houses, and divorces were really acceptable.

Please Dr. Phil, get her out of there, because it's a murder suicide about to happen.

Terri

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mi_resident

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Scared

Message Emote
worried

April 26, 2007, 5:37 pm PDT

scared for her

I was also in 2 controlling relationships. I somehow attract them. But thankfully got out before it was too late. After I relize I am in a controlling relationship. I want out.

I got out without getting married.

One of them kept following me around when I broke up with him. He would break in my house and wait for me to come home. Follow me to my friends house too.

AS FAR AS HER RELATIONSHIP GOES.

I think she is right, if she tries to leave him, he will try to hurt her.

I don't know what she should do. But there seems to be a killing spree in America these days.

But she seems so unhappy it is so sad.

Dr. Phil HOPEFULLY help them DECIDE WHAT TO DO.

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