Of all the responses to this story, yours is the only one I have seen (so far) that seems to touch on the other side, but you have copped your fair share of criticism for doing so.
I watch this show in Australia so I'm probably several weeks (if not months) behind the U.S. screening dates but I found this story to be enormously one sided when it came to who the 'victim' was.
Like you, I accept that Jeffery's behaviour was (and is) totally out of control and inappropriate but 'dangerous'? I don't think so. The fact that a call to the Dr. Phil show eventually landed him in jail makes you realize that with the right spin, a person can be portrayed as a potentially violent fugitive when he (apparently) has never exhibited any such behaviour. Controlling yes but violent?
It's ironic that Jennifer's biggest fear was that he was going to pack up the kids and leave when her desire was to do exactly the same! (Note how she constantly referred to them as "my kids") Now the kids can't see their dad at all which, granted, was a consequence of his inability to control his obsessive behavior but I do think his suspicions of Jennifer's infidelity had some basis in truth. Now I agree that no amount of infidelity gives a person the right to put someone in a box but I do believe that if a person is unhappy in a marriage, flirting and myspacing and barhopping is not the way to deal with it.
Dr. Phil did seem to conveniently avoid talking about Jennifer's behavior but I wonder how Ok he would be if Robin was going out til the early hours of the morning drinking with a male co-worker.
My feeling is that Jennifer, (a beautiful young woman by most standards) had decided long ago that marrying Jeffery was a mistake but, by her own admission, was afraid to leave because of the kids, the house, the financial security etc. Unable to seek a divorce (which would have solved all her problems from day 1) she decides to allay her fears that doing so would leave her alone and without affection by 'putting herself out there'. The fact that she actually felt she needed a MySpace page speaks volumes about her need to reassure herself that she was a vital and attractive woman. Sexy messages and late night drinking sessions are Ok for a single woman but totally inappropriate behaviour for a wife and mother of young kids.
It's like testing the water without actually getting wet.
Dr. Phil was determined to focus on Jeffery's 'extreme behavior' because that was the shows agenda and it was great TV to see poor Jennifer bursting into tears at every opportunity and claiming she was the innocent victim of a her husbands unfounded suspicions. In fact, the inference was that it was his behavior (not her desire to get out and party) that was ruining the marriage and that everything would be OK if he just stopped..
Unfortunately Jeffery is his own worst enemy. Most of us know that you can't nail someone's feet to the floor once they have decided to go. When it became obvious to him that Jennifer didn't love him any more he should have sought a divorce himself and got on with his life.
Mind you, although I believe she has an absolute right to walk away from the marriage, I don't believe it gives her the right to take the kids with her - but that's a whole other argument.
Obviously his insecurity and his inability to cope on his own is never going to allow him to move on and my bet is he'll probably find another 'doormat' to take care of him.
All in all it's a shame that people end up in these situations. I read a quote somewhere that went
"Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts and don't put up with people who are reckless with yours"
I think so much of this would be avoided if we were just honest with each other.
Thanks for considering my opinion
Gavin
“When I think I’ve seen it all, then I get a wake-up call,” Dr. Phil says of his guests who are involved in a very intense relationship. Jeffrey's obsession with his wife, Jennifer, has careened out of control during their 11-year marriage. He says he loves her so much he goes to extremes to watch her every move. He's tracked her with a GPS device, listened to her phone conversations, trapped her in their home and alienated her from her friends and family. But is there something more sinister Jeffrey's done that he's been hiding? Jennifer says she's ready to leave her controlling and jealous husband once and for all. Has she been up to no good, and is Jeffrey justified in his snooping? Jeffrey wants to save his marriage and family, but is Jennifer willing to stand by him? Dr. Phil unravels the jealously, lies and abuse to see if this marriage can be saved, or if it's really Jennifer who needs to be saved from Jeffrey. Talk about the show here.
