Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

 why has she stayed so long.... 3 children later who has been hurt the most.  I feel both Jennifer and Jeff are disfuncitional.  Jennifer seems to like some of the attention this behavior has brought.  I feel there is alot more to her than is being told (she seems so fake).  Why have 2 affairs when you have such an obsessed husband , knowing what will happenm you'll get caught for sure.  My thoughts are there is NEVER a reason to have an affair, husband or wife.

 Think they both need alot of help.  Jeff needs some serious help and Jennifer needs to get out

I have been with my husband almost 11 years (8 married, 3 dating) I cheated (emotionally not sexually) before we got married and I pay for it every day.  He cheated after we got married with a co-worker.  That can never be brought up.  I don't have any friends, he says if I can work or not. I get accused everyday of cheating. He says that he knows that I have cheated with some guys that he knows, even though I haven't.   If there is a wrong number on the phone, someone was calling for me.  He checks the house when he gets home to see if anyone has been there.  I can't talk to other men because if I do, he'll get it in his head that something is going on. 

 

I feel soooooooooo frustrated and sometimes I think about leaving.  But no money, no go.  I feel for Jennifer.  I've had temporary jobs and I hoped that they would lead to full-time but he would call my phone 100 times a day and if I didn't answer, I would hear it when I got home.  Or he would show up at my job, sometimes if he took me to work he would create a big scene.  I would be so embarrassed.    I know the feeling of desolation.  It isn't pretty. 

 

 

I am so worried about this man.  I think he needs to be committed, before he causes her real physical harm.  I have no doubt he is capable of thinking if he can't have her, noone will.  I truly worry for her life.  I don't want to hear in the future, that noone did anything to help him, and find out he did harm or kill his wife

Full respect for Dr. Phil to air this show - Jeffrey is an example of how not to be a husband.  Jennifer cheated early on and helped create this situation but his behaviours and antics are thoroughly unbelievable.  He is not a husband, he's a jailor - she is a prisoner with a lifetime sentence.  She needs to get out now!!

 

He had gone way too far early on in the marriage by believing that another child would help heal the marriage, now they have 3 kids mired in this mess (actually I think there are 5 kid because Jennifer & Jeff are behaving like kids too) - his obsession with Jennifer may end up with her being more than just emotionally hurt.  Jeffrey failed more than one of Dr. Phil's tests but he failed long, long ago - they are both responsible adults but it is time to check out on this relationship.

 

A fake vasectomy - come on - more ridiculous behaviour on top of everything else..  He says he's being honest and wants to stay married - why - the marriage doesn't exist except on paper.

 

What happened to a husband and wife being friends, lovers and companions?

Jennifer has to leave to preserve her soul and save her kids from this obsessive love before anyone gets seriously hurt beyond the emotional damage already done.

Jeff has to get real right now & I don't believe a word that came out of his mouth. Four therapists and counting....

I have been divorced for about 8 years - I spent 15 years in a very similar situation - I promised if his actions ever turned towards our children I would HAVE to leave - something happened one day where one of my children became more directly involved than either ever had previously - within an hour I was on the phone to an attorney and within a week I was out of the state with my children the day he was served to protect our children.... I don't see how things could ever really be normal for this couple b/c of the trama she has already endured - there is an unconditional trust that you need in a relationship such as marriage - once it's broken can it ever be repaired?  My question to Dr. Phil would be how does she go on and not let it affect her future relationships with significant others, co-workers, bosses, friends, family?  I find myself constantly on the defensive with everyone - I feel like I have to constantly justify myself to everyone around me to the point that I'm tired of hearing myself talk - I have constant anxiety and feeling that I'm "in trouble" with everyone for every move I make so I constantly explain every step I take - I feel like at any time everyone around me will figure out just how worthless I really am.. the control this man has over her now I fear will be a very difficult thing to overcome - it has lasting effects.. is it possible to ever be normal in a relationship again?

While cheating is never ok, one has to wonder as to whether this woman cheated in order to escape.  She married a 30yo man at 19 and knew no one at her wedding...sounds like a kidnapping more than the happiest day of someone's life.  Could she have been so desperate to escape that she threw herself into an affair in hopes that her husband would either leave her or the man would rescue her?  Despite her age, she still seems very much like a child and I wonder if it's due to her being treated as one for so long.  Her behavior, to me, seems less like a cheating wife and more like a rebellious teenager striving for Independence.

 This show really touch me in many ways .I do not have any self-pity for that man .When she was sharing about she did not have any places to go with 3 childrens ? I was thinking about shelter , some associations like Salvation Army ect................and maybe changing her identities name ect............I really cannot whait for the second part tonight .

Okay, he is EXTREME, no doubt about that.  NOTHING she has done deserves what he has done.  But I can understand how he can feel after being cheated on.  She HAS cheated, (2 times was it?) and quite honestly, if she had the chance no doubt she would again.  My husband did this to me, and still to this day I wonder if he has or will again.  That is a real fear, and makes people want to do things to protect themselvs.  Unfortunately, I had to learn that if I can't learn to just trust, I'll have to just leave.  If he wants to cheat, he will find a way.  I just decided I'm willing to trust he won't but keep my eyes open in case it would ever happen again.  She isn't blameless in this, as she obviously is somewhat untrustworthy.  But he's taken it beyond anything I can imagine!  I can feel for her as well as my husband has an obsessive streak as well.  Not to this extent of course.  He's simply manipulative in other ways.  He does it without outright calling names and such. I've woken up to have him having sex with me and taking off my clothes.  I've had to quit jobs, as he gets mad if I simply talk to another guy.  He dosn't like it when I make my own money.   I have old guy friends that I've known for YEARS, and he gets upset if the simply istant message me.  I'm an outgoing friendly woman, who naturally flirts a bit, but that means apparently I'm going to sleep with guys.  I've never cheated, or even thought about it.  But he is jealous and likes keeping me down.  He told me that he doesn't want me wanting ANYONE but him to talk to or anything.  That he wants me all to himself.  It drives a woman nuts.  And I feel trapped as well.  I'm only 25 and we have 4 kids together.  Plus my step daughter lives with us.  I feel so bad for this woman, as I know she is hurting, but I hope that Dr Phil makes her realize that she hasn't made it easy for him to even try to change when she is untrustworthy herself.  This is a catch-22 when he can't get better b/c she hides things, but she can't stop hiding things since he's obviously unable to control this crazy behavior.

Hello, everyone...This is obviously a very sick individual...he says her loves her?? This is NOT love..I have known my share of abusive men...but this takes the cake!!! He says he thought it would be "Till death do us part?" He means until he kills her, which is obviously what will eventually happen..she needs to get out..NOW!!! Dr. Phil, I was hoping you would have the proper authorities in your audience waiting to apprehend him. Men like him will never change...he sat on your show playing the victim and repeatedly blamed her for everything he does..this is someone who is not in control of himself...like you say..."You can't change what you don't acknowledge!" As far as I am concerned, he should be given 2 options...either turn himself into the authorities where he will spend the rest of his pathetic life in prison, or commit himself to a mental institution for the rest of his life. This is not how a "real man" behaves..a real man takes responsibility for his behaviors. I don't believe that any amount of therapy will help him! He is nothing but a charlatan. Just because he sat on national television and acknowledged everything he has done does not mean he is sincere about change. I like to call this "two-faced." You were exactly right when you said he was looking to you to defend and justify his actions and possibly enable the behavior. I know this type of man all too well...thinks that another man will do just that...how wrong he was!!! Kudos to you Dr. Phil for putting this lunatic in his place...verbally that is...now...let's see him go where he really belongs..he is nothing but a menace to society...before she becomes "just another statistic."