Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

I saw nothing about naked- I saw a bathing suit -

                            ?????????????

No way. I can't even believe the suggestion that she should basically give him another chance, while he goes into intensive therapy. Oh poor baby, lets coddle him and hold his hand through this difficult time. Boo-hoo, a true Kleenex moment here. Pu-leeeeeeeeeeeease. This guy is a complete control freak, (gee ya think?) and there is NO fixing him. Period. She is WEAK to stay with him, I don't care if I had to live in a dumpster with 15 kids, I would have NEVER stayed in that relationship for one second. He should voluntarily check into the local prison, which is where a whack job like him belongs. Like a child molester, there is no fixing these type of losers. No such thing as rehab. He is beyond help. He will crack wide open like an egg dropped off the Empire State building if she finally does come out of her self pity, whoa is me shell and leaves his pathetic, sorry ass.

It appears to me that the children are the ones who are being hurt the worst in all of this mess.  I feel that neither parent is emotionally stable to help these children get over all the hurt inflicted by their parents.  It shocked me that Dr. Phil did not call her out on her responsibility in this case or her actions.  I also feel that her saying that she has no where to go or no money to get out is a cop out.  I would do what ever it took in order to get out of the situation (if that is really what she really wanted to do).  I do believe that she gets a perverse sense of power by egging him on with his obsessiveness.  DO NOT GET ME WRONG, I am not condoning what he does or did.  I have lived through abuse both sexual and physical and let me tell you there is no way in hell I would stay and let my girls see that happen.  Jennifer's daughters are being taught that it is perfectly ok to stay and be victims.  Their son is learning that it is ok to treat people badly.  Jennifer is just as much to blame as Jeffrey is for the borderline child abuse that those children are going through.  It seems to me that she is only concerned with her own happiness and not the well being of her children.  I must give Jeffrey Kudos for stepping up and realizing he needs help.  After all he is the one who wrote into the Dr. Phil show not Jennifer.  I wish all the best for the children and both parents. 

The sensitivity and compassion of Dr. Phil impressed me yet again. What a wonderful man.

To recognize ( as it is his profession) that the man was in a bad way mentally was inspiring to me.

My brother and I , growing up , had a hard hard life with much misery. Later in life, I had to deal with a lot of my mental issues but unfortunately, my older brother didn't. He too had "control issues" with more than a smattering of obsession thrown in over a woman. He committed suicide with success on his third attempt. I was only suprised he didn't take the woman with him. I loved my brother deeply and understood why he became mentally ill and did what he did. Jeff has a gift from Dr. Phil in overcoming this before it becomes terminal for him or them both 

To this day, I struggle with "control issues" but not to the extent that Jeff does. Poor man. Mine goes the other way, where I want to hide in my home. I have to fight that constantly. And so, far, I do with limited success.

So, as AWFUL, as Jeff seems, I have sympathy. I've walked a mile in his shoes , as did my brother.

I sincerely hope that Jeff gets some relief from his mental problems and the whole family heals.

Thank you Dr. Phil.

deahca2

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Oh wow, I'm sorry. As I watched this show it all seemed to be me looking into a mirror. I have been there and done that. But, like this guy who seems to be sincere, I told all the lies just to get my way, and make people feel sorry for me, so sincere is one thing he's not. I did it all and he is playing the game of feel sorry for me, please . The crying and the closed eyes, wouldn't make eye contact with Dr. Phil in the off stage area, give us all a break.  He wants to make us all feel sorry for him, the phony tears, and all of a sudden he is willing to go and get help. Deep down he knows that he is not going to get through it, but that his wife will somehow see it as a good thing and give him a second or a third chance. I was a physical, emotional and mental abuser for a long time, got some serious help, and was smart enough to get it all together, but that was 25 years ago.  This guy thinks that he can manipulate his way through all this, and if he had an ounce of brains, and put one-tenth the energy into getting himseld fixed, as he has in abusing his family, he wouldn't have been on the show. So let's all wait and see, but I just don't trust this one, and I think that Jennifer should take Dr. Phil's advice, and while this guy is in re-hab or what-ever it is, get a lawyer, and move out,  but then I could be wrong. Oh, I forgot, I have been married a few times, and with my present wife since 1988, and wsh that I would have met her first, but we all have to learn and grow up, and I like to think that I have. We need to all have a little faith, pray for this guy, but, like I said been  there, done that and we'll see if he's for real.

Thnks   BBoone

No, I haven't stopped doing whatever I possibly can to assist anyone who asks for help. .. whether it is temporary refuge, comfort, suggestions for finding help, sharing past experiences.  But, I try not to meddle unless asked.  My credentials are not up-to-date and I'm sure there are advances in assisting women (or men) in abusive situations.  I now rely on past experiences, insights gained from life experiences, talking with other women,and on reading papers and articles written by authorities and by graduate students.