Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

This guy is not going to ever behave like a normal husband.  I was married to one just as evil nearly 30 years ago, and he would have killed me if I hadn't finally put 3,000 miles between us.  He eventually moved on for a short time - to a total look-a-like of me. Even as recently as a few years ago he met a friend of a friend who told me he still refers to me as his "wife"!

This woman needs to do everything she can to protect herself and her children, and have NO MORE CONTACT WITH HIM.  Get a divorce NOW, change your names, move far away, get every legal piece of paper you can registered with all the local authorities, and your childrens' school.  Have the Court order him to see/contact the children only through a third party such as a mediator or professional counsellor, and tell your family NOT to speak to him under any circumstances.  These men have to handled as the devious and cunning beasts they are.  He will try every trick he can think of to get information on your whereabouts, so just don't talk to him PERIOD.  Remember the recent Florida case where the mom of quads(?) was tracked down and murdered in front of her babies by her rich ex in Texas; let us all learn from this tragedy and USE EXTREME CAUTION ALWAYS. 

I've been there, I feel for you.  Save yourself and your children, there is a whole wonderful world out there (including a few good men) and you are entitled to a happy life.  Better for the children to have no father than a maniac in their lives, so stop feeling guilty about that - he's still playing you!  Be strong and good luck, it will get better, I know 'cause I've done it!

Okay. In response to the "Give Him a Break" thing... Yeah, she's no angel. Clearly she wants out of the marriage. He has created a situation that makes it virtually impossible for her to leave. She has reason to fear that he'll take it to the next step, he has shown that he has no boundaries when it comes to keeping her in the marriage.

I hope Dr. Phil is able to get her the help she needs. In Indiana we have women's shelters where she and the kids could go and he would have no contact with her. That might be a good way to get her away from him long enough to get the legal stuff taken care of. She definitely needs to get out, but she needs protection because I wouldn't put it past him to do something drastic.

Well I have noticed that others have felt what I was thinking too...it's not all him being bad!

OK so the guy is off the charts with his behavior but there are a lot of things that she's going that are very inappropriate.  They need to get a divorce.  He's never going to stop being jealous and she's not going to stop "playing".  The things she's doing at M*Sp*ce are for single people...I wouldn't want my husband doing such things and I know he wouldn't want me to do this.  Then the e-mailing with men about their rears?  What's up with that?  I would have a cow if I caught my husband talking like this with women?  And yeah, I'd be suspicious all the time if he was.  I guess she's not cheating because I'm sure he would have caught her but her actions are suspicious to say the least.  She's staying for support and he's staying out of obscession not love!  This marriage is OVER!!!!!  I wish that Dr. Phil would have said that she shouldn't be behaving like she is either...two wrongs don't make a right!!!!!!

though i do not agree with Jeffrey's behaviour - trust me i think its sick! - i think it comes down to the basics of if it's not working and one or both are driven to behaviours that are not healthy for the marriage, than it's over!! Issues like this one, with all the therapy in the world, are not going away in a marriage...many seem to think she has done something to have merited this kind of treatment from her husband, but that shouldn't be the point! The unfortunate reality of once jealousy rears its ugly head it grabs a hold of you to behave like Jeffrey is behaving..the other reality is woman are usually on the worst end of this situation in that physical harm usually follows. So, right or wrong, no one deserves to suffer these consequences.  If it was your daughter, sister, mother - would it be acceptable to you to say, well you must've done something to provoke him or to deserve it -  when the end result could be a severe beating at the hands of this man or sometimes even worse, death! It's not about chosing sides...just the reality that it's not working - its not fixable - done!