Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

  Watching Jennifer's story was SO scary for me.  I used to live exactly the same life.  I think the word OBSESSION is being overused...it's all about CONTROL and ABUSE.  He is so desperately insecure that he HAS to control her every move.  Of course she is seeking other men because she's looking for anything else than what she is dealing with.  She is being abused and has to either leave or make him go.  After many years of wasted time and the benefit of experience, I have come up with a few essential tips of disconnecting from an abusive situation.  She needs to go to a lawyer who specializes in domestic abuse situations, get help from the police and get a restraining order.  The most important key is that she MUST call the police every time he violates the restraining order.  She will have to tell everyone around her that the police must be called if he comes around or calls.  After a few years of diligence, he will eventually give up, but it will take time and consistency.  She also needs to face the fact that she is addicted to the chaos, but again, over time you can get used to living without it.  It's a fantastic feeling once you realize that you are FREE of the chaos and are living independently. 

I realize Jeffrey is pretty freaky, but I find Jennifer a puzzle.  Where are the tears?  She is "crying" constantly, but only squeezes out a few tears.  Also, why is she going out with friends when she knows what her husband is like?  Why is she posting pictures of herself in a bikini on the internet?  What does this family do as a family?  When you marry, you either commit and make the best of being married or you leave and get on with your life.  You don't get on with your own life while married and the parents of 3 small children.  Yes, Jeffrey is very, very weird and should never do any of what he is doing, but Jennifer needs to protect herself and her children and not be partying and playing with "friends" on the internet and pissing Jeffrey off and giving him more to be worried about.  They both need some kind of therapy, I think.

This show was enough to make me register for these boards.  I don't know what the resolution will turn out to be today, but I hope it's to get her and the kids safely out of the house and into counselling, and he needs whatever help can be provided to get over this obsessive, dangerous, stalking behavior.

 

They met/married when she was 19 and he was 31?  And she was pregnant?  He was a grown man who found himself a teenager to groom as a wife, and when she went through the normal growing up stages, now he engages in these behaviors to keep his object exactly where he needs it.

 

I don't doubt for one moment that she cheated - married & pregnant far too long with a controlling abuser.  I know because the same thing happened to me.

 

Dr. Phil, GET HER OUT OF THERE!

Aren't there always exit doors elsewhere?  Dr. Phil just tell him to "LET HER GO" .  He should just appreciate the few good times they may have had because it sure doesn't sound like he's getting any action now!!   

WHAT??? Are you serious?  She cheated on him once before while he was in Florida, and the guy was still there, and you're worried about her getting hurt?  Where was her worry when she was naked in HIS HOUSE with another man?  And how worried was she when her sex partner beat the crap out of him?

 

She's doing this to build a case, and she got it.  Now she'll get alimony and child support for three kids because of his abuse....that's a lot of money!  Everyone looks upon the stupid things he's doing which is causing her pain distress.  But how muc pain  is invovled to know that the wife you are married to (Or husband) is laying naked on the bed you shared for more than 11 years?  And where were the kids????

My advise to her is to put on your sneakers, grab your children and RUN.   I was in a relationship that was very controlling and abusive.  I think her husband is very sick and needs some help but in the meantime you needs to get out.

OK Dr. Phil,  I'm all for getting help to save a marriage.  I'm not of the belief that when things get hard in marriage you bail.  But I'm very surprised you still did not address Jennifer's past

affair(s), her My Space activities and her picking-up a "guy friend" behind Jeff's back to go to a bar.  Is that the behavior ANY wife should be engaging in?  Are you, in not addressing those issues condoning it?  She needs counseling as well to deal with the fact that she seems to need the attention of other men to make her feel better about herself.  Sure, Jeff's actions have had to affected her self esteem.  But does that make it OK for her send sexy pictures over the Internet to other men?  In the past, you have never let a cheater off the hook, why this woman?

I find both of these people very annoying.  First of all, yes, the guy has a problem.  He is admitting that.  Second, why doesn't the lady just leave??  She has known for how long now the stuff that he does?  Okay, the guy has no right to do what he does to her, but you have to admit she is also feeding it to him.  She does stuff behind his back that makes him want to look for more.  She's cheated on him, so why shouldn't he get worried again and again.  This is why you don't marry someone 2 months after you meet.  Oh and another thing.  She's 31 years old and married with kids.  It's time to leave myspace and get over going out to bar's with other men or get out of your marriage.   She obviously doesn't love him so why put herself through it anymore?

Hopefully, the local police have been made aware of this situation.

It appears he/maybe both need a sincere/mandatory psychological evaluation.

I would hate to hear later how people wish they would have done something.

AND, most importantly, what about the innocent children?

I think this man is HORRIBLE.  Dr. Phil please help Jennifer get away from him safely.  No one deserves to be so smoothered!!!!  Perhaps he should go to jail.