Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Unstable isn't the word. This guy is definately a loon. I would be scared if I were her too because he's the type to "let go", appear totally fine and then show up one day and blow her pretty butt away. I'd get out and get out now. However, I'm sure she'll never be able to escape that feeling of being watched. This makes me so angry to see someone do this under the pretense of love. 

P.S. I bet he'd love to get his hands around some of our necks for posting these messages.  

This man has a lifetime of deep rooted problems and one week or six months isn't likely to truly change him. Only God can. He is the one who will need to be monitored for a very long time because he is a master manipulator.

I am looking forward to todays show.  I want to thank the guests for what is right, what is wrong.  I believe that marriage should be a partnership ... not a connection that you are joined at the hip.  No man or woman has the right to invade another person's life for any reason ... it only took me 22 years to figure that out, a suicide attempt ... to believe that is the only way to end the misery I felt.

Yesterday's show had me shaking with fear ... but now I know I was never alone ... so Dr. Phil and guests ... thank-you for bringing this to the show and the world to say this is just not freaking normal.

McKinley_42

I am SHOCKED!  How could Dr. Phil ask Jennifer to wait, and do nothing, while Jeff gets help?  I nearly fell off the couch!!!!!!

This man is terribly ill and the problems he have will NOT be resolved anytime soon.  Even if he does go into that program in Cali...Dr. Phil said, "maybe a week, maybe two....", WHAT???  I don't see how this man will have even the tiniest bit of progress inside of two weeks.   His behavior is SO obsessive, SO extreme, that I wouldn't be surprised if he needed to be inpatient for over a year!  And I don't think he'll be well even then!  To ask Jennifer to "wait and see" is outrageous to me.  Now, I do realize that unless that promise from her was there, Jeff probably wouldn't go into the program.....but the REAL test, IMO, should've been if he would go whether or NOT she promised to be there.  By having her promise not to do anything until he gets out is far too easy for him, if you ask me.  And, the fact that he is so ill and that this could take months and months...is just asking FAR too much of that woman! 

Yes, I think she should've left FAR before now.  I don't think she's getting off on the attention or anything....I think she's responding in the same way a battered wife would.  I think she's been beaten down so much mentally that she's acting much in the same way a woman who was being abused physically would.  It's near impossible for those of us who are blessed enough to have healthy or relatively healthy relationships with men/women to believe someone would continue to stay around to be beat up, but these women's thinking processes are diluted....they aren't able to respond to things like someone else would.

I'm just saddened that Dr. Phil apparently didn't see what I"m seeing....and that's a woman who's been beaten down inside and is scared.  I truly wish he would've told her to get out NOW, get her kids away from that situation!!!!!  Now, if Jeff was then to get help and really concentrate on getting well, well maybe then, in some time, she could reconsider the marriage, if she wanted.  But I think it was AWFUL to ask her to wait and see.  She didn't have to say "yes", but with Dr. Phil suggesting it the way he did, I don't see where she felt like she could do anything else.  I mean, it's Dr. Phil, they're on National TV.....and HE is asking her to wait.  This is a woman who hasn't been able to bring herself to leave someone that's abusing her....is she going to suddenly grow pair and tell Dr. Phil to forget it, she's leaving?

At least the situation is now under his observation.  If he doesn't get better, which I don't think he will (not long term anyway), he can help Jennifer get out.

~Lee

my ex-husband.  And, thank God, now he is my EX.  He did many of  these same things to me, tapping the phone, following me or having others follow me, etc.  He did drug me so he could do sexual things to me.  I wouldn't be surprised if this guy is lying about that.  Everything else seems to fall along the same pattern I experienced.  Things eventually got so bad, he got a protection order against me(!!!) so he could try to take my children away from me, so I'd be forced to stay with him if I wanted to keep my kids.  So, of course, I stayed, moved away from all my friends and family just like he wanted, so he could dominate my existence.  It's not about her cheating on him, that's just an excuse to worsen his behavior.  It's about him and his mental instability. 

She must leave him because things will only get worse.  And when she does go, it will take a lot of time to truly get away.  My ex tried every way in the world to postpone our divorce.  Then he tried to take our daughter away from me, accusing me of abuse in court (of which I was investigated for and the authorities right away what he was up to), and manipulating her when she would have visitation with him.  He would say things to her about being alone and her being his best friend and how sad he was that he'd lost her.  She was 9 years old!  He mentally tortured her. 

Now we are divorced, I live 800 miles away with my children and new husband.  He still tries to manipulate our daughter, but she's old enough and wise enough to understand a little more.  He still tries to make her feel guilty for loving her stepdad.   When she says she wants to cut visitation short so she can spend some of her break with her family and friends, he gives her a hard time over it.  He still tries to manipulate me and sometimes sends me messages that he still "loves" me.  But I hve nothing but disgust for him. 

I have never seen my kids so at ease, mentally and physically well.  And with my new husband, I know what love is really supposed to feel like.  She needs to get out with her kids and never look back.  She'll be so thankful in the long run.