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Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Number of Replies: 1946
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, April 20, 2007, 02:40:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Jeffrey and Jennifer's shocking and complicated story continues. During their 11-year marriage, Jeffrey has become so obsessed with Jennifer, he watches her every move. He has installed a GPS system in her car, taps her phone conversations, takes inappropriate pictures of her and watches her while she sleeps. Dr. Phil probes deep into Jeffrey's mind to find out why he acts the way he does. Is there any boundary Jeffrey won't cross when it comes to controlling his wife? Then, how are Jennifer and Jeffrey's three children being affected by the madness in the house? Their eldest child has been an eyewitness to his father's schemes. And, while Dr. Phil speaks one on one with Jennifer, Jeffrey has a total meltdown backstage, becoming physically ill. When Dr. Phil confronts him about his anxieties and offers a solution, will Jeffrey choose to make a change? Don’t miss the second part of this dramatic and emotional story, and find out if this family is on the path to healing or headed to divorce court.  Join the discussion.

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April 23, 2007, 7:34 pm CDT

obsessive love

Quote From: cosmocher

I hope that you didint participate ion the threesom to me thats cheating but getting your permission
   I have 4 teenage kids and not a very good job so I felt stuck. I have filed for divorce 3 times and I am not wearing any rings nor do we sleep in the same room.... I feel that I am already divorced and in case you are wondering why I ain't wearing my rings its because I pawned it to pay his insurance....
 
April 23, 2007, 8:40 pm CDT

whole other topic

Quote From: dianeja

   

    Sometimes I wish that was the problem but here is my problem: My husband and I have been married for almost 21 years. During that time he has taken money from a worker/friend to see me coming out of the shower with no clothes on. He has set up a threesome with another coworker from the next job that he went to. I told him that I wasn't interested but he picked out linguree for me to wear that night. We have four kids ages 15,17,19 and 21. Now of course the 21 year old is very seldom here but he is always with the 19 year old working he says. He doesn't sleep with me we have no llife together at all. Which is worse too much or None at all............

My husband also wanted me to have sex with friends of his. I don't think he even cared 'who' as long as he could watch.  I never, however, did because it seems so demeaning. I have demeaned myself in other ways but one would never guess it by looking at me.  Regardless, this is wrong, fundamentally, morally wrong. Why? Because unless you asked for the threesome, a walk in on the shower for money...it is wrong. Now, I am not sure if this in ongoing but alot of stuff can happen in 21 years of marriage and I don't think one weeks worth of mistakes defines your relationship. Thus, two days out of those years he asked for a threesome. They were not 'deal breakers' because you are still with him. Maybe someday you will decide that this is YOUR life and only YOU own it. If YOU decide to spend the rest of your life unhappy....then you are giving it to him. But there are millions of men out there that would treat you right. 

 
April 24, 2007, 11:23 am CDT

A little extreme?

Quote From: lvjackson

Maybe we should wait until the shows airs to judge everyone, maybe she did cheat on him and he has his reasons to do what he does, although I think they are a little extreme, or maybe he truly is crazy, who knows. 

Wow, the man cuts himself to pretend he's had a vasectomy so his wife will have unprotected sex with him in the hopes she'll get pregnant and you call that 'a little extreme'?  Geeze, I'd like to know what you'd call a lot.

 

 

 
April 24, 2007, 11:59 am CDT

Extreme

Quote From: lyninsocal

Wow, the man cuts himself to pretend he's had a vasectomy so his wife will have unprotected sex with him in the hopes she'll get pregnant and you call that 'a little extreme'?  Geeze, I'd like to know what you'd call a lot.

 

 

Like I said maybe we should (watch) the show first before we all jump to conclusions, in my last sentence I wrote that maybe he was crazy after all, I am just stating that we need to here both sides of the story.

 
April 25, 2007, 12:22 pm CDT

JEN YOU NEED HELP

I HAVE BEEN WATCHING THE CLIPS FOR THE SHOW AND EVERY TIME I ALMOST CRY JEN YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND AND I HATE TO SEE YOU SO SAD.  I GUESS YOU FIGURED HE WOULD CHANGE AFTER AVA WAS BORN.  YOU CAN SEE HE HAS NOT .  IN FACT ITS GOTTEN WORSE FOR YOU!   I KNOW YOU LOVE HOM BUT COME ON HONEY WHEN WILL IT BE ENOUGH.  I DONT THINK HE CAN CHANGE SO THE ONLY THING IS FOR YOU TO CHANGE AND STOP TAKING IT.  I CANT BELIEVE HOW LONG ITS BEEN SINCE IVE SEEN YOU I MISS YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE THE KIDS R SOOOO BIG AUSTIN HAS GOTTEN TOO CUTE.  JEN YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS I HOPE YOU RESPOND TO THIS E MAIL.  YOU NEED A FRIEND SOMEONE TO LISTEN I'M HERE FOR YOU. 

 

VERY WORRIED

 

KAREN  

 
April 25, 2007, 7:09 pm CDT

Both sides ? No way !

Quote From: lvjackson

Like I said maybe we should (watch) the show first before we all jump to conclusions, in my last sentence I wrote that maybe he was crazy after all, I am just stating that we need to here both sides of the story.

This guy isn't crazy ...  he's a BATTERER and ABUSER.   He sure as hell acts like a nut case, using the tactics and systematic Domestic Violence and Abuse tactics, manipulations and control.

 

Batterers and Abusers know exactly what they're doing, they do it intentionally, its a choice and they do it anyway.

 

Their purpose is to have power over their partner, using  abuse and control.  They do this to take the partner down.    To destroy ... if need be, so  the partner can not get away from them.

 

It only takes ONE, ONE PERSON WHO USES ABUSE AND CONTROL, brainwashing, crazy-making, systematic tactics to violate, abuse and control....it only takes one to destroy an entire family.

 

It's about time Dr. Phil finally shows the world what these abusers are doing to the partners they render feeling "crazy" and in a state of helplessness.   

 

My heart goes out to this precious  woman and her children.

 

I'm thanking God that Dr. Phil is involved .... now she can get free, get away .... with Dr. Phil's help.

 

Otherwise, this batterer / abuser  might have gone for the ultimate control.

 

 

 

 

 

  

 
April 25, 2007, 7:20 pm CDT

There are NO reasons ....NO reasons

Quote From: lvjackson

Maybe we should wait until the shows airs to judge everyone, maybe she did cheat on him and he has his reasons to do what he does, although I think they are a little extreme, or maybe he truly is crazy, who knows. 

There are NO reasons, NO reasons ever for anyone, let alone this man to do what he does.

 

It doesn't matter if she cheated or not.   We'll probably find out that she did NOT ever cheat.

 

  Abusers always have it in their mind and accuse the woman they abuse of cheating, this is coming from inside the abuser.

 

Based on the clips and advertisements for these 2 shows .... this is more than in your words "a little extreme"  ...... My G !

 

Look up and down the street you live on... you can bet you have more than one of these abusers on your block.    Look around at your co-workers.....they are there also.        Pick up your newspapers and read of their POWER AND CONTROL over their families and their partners. Read the headlines of destruction.

 

Where to heck do you think all these Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde types live?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
April 25, 2007, 7:36 pm CDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Quote From: dianeja

Sometimes I wish that was the problem but here is my problem: My husband and I have been married for almost 21 years. During that time he has taken money from a worker/friend to see me coming out of the shower with no clothes on. He has set up a threesome with another coworker from the next job that he went to. I told him that I wasn't interested but he picked out linguree for me to wear that night. We have four kids ages 15,17,19 and 21. Now of course the 21 year old is very seldom here but he is always with the 19 year old working he says. He doesn't sleep with me we have no llife together at all. Which is worse too much or None at all............

These extremes that you talk about....obsessive love.....and the life that you describe with your husband .... are the same.  

 

Your husband is an abuser... he is sexually abusing you.   He's abusing you emotionally, verbally and attempting to abuse you physically also.

 

He is disrespecting and  its demeaning he is abusing you over and over again. His coercion, his force, intimidation bullying is more than oppression and cruelty.  

 

This is criminal activity.

 

Who in hell would want someone like that to sleep with them, not and have respect for themselves at all. ?

 

Both of the examples that you refer to are horrid and abusive, none of it is love.

 

 

 
April 25, 2007, 7:52 pm CDT

They are deal breakers and it seems

Quote From: mary_pop_pins

My husband also wanted me to have sex with friends of his. I don't think he even cared 'who' as long as he could watch.  I never, however, did because it seems so demeaning. I have demeaned myself in other ways but one would never guess it by looking at me.  Regardless, this is wrong, fundamentally, morally wrong. Why? Because unless you asked for the threesome, a walk in on the shower for money...it is wrong. Now, I am not sure if this in ongoing but alot of stuff can happen in 21 years of marriage and I don't think one weeks worth of mistakes defines your relationship. Thus, two days out of those years he asked for a threesome. They were not 'deal breakers' because you are still with him. Maybe someday you will decide that this is YOUR life and only YOU own it. If YOU decide to spend the rest of your life unhappy....then you are giving it to him. But there are millions of men out there that would treat you right. 

They are deal breakers and your post and the other poster don't seem to realize it, at all.

 

They are not mistakes.

 

They are wrong, morally and ethically wrong.

 

It's sexual abuse.

 

It's never acceptable.

 

 

 

 
April 25, 2007, 7:55 pm CDT

what happens after you file for divorce ?

Quote From: dianeja

   I have 4 teenage kids and not a very good job so I felt stuck. I have filed for divorce 3 times and I am not wearing any rings nor do we sleep in the same room.... I feel that I am already divorced and in case you are wondering why I ain't wearing my rings its because I pawned it to pay his insurance....

What happens after you file for divorce?

 

 

 

Does he threaten you?

 

Are you afraid of him?

 

What else has happened?

 

Do you realize this is all abuse?

 
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