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Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Number of Replies: 1946
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, April 20, 2007, 02:40:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Jeffrey and Jennifer's shocking and complicated story continues. During their 11-year marriage, Jeffrey has become so obsessed with Jennifer, he watches her every move. He has installed a GPS system in her car, taps her phone conversations, takes inappropriate pictures of her and watches her while she sleeps. Dr. Phil probes deep into Jeffrey's mind to find out why he acts the way he does. Is there any boundary Jeffrey won't cross when it comes to controlling his wife? Then, how are Jennifer and Jeffrey's three children being affected by the madness in the house? Their eldest child has been an eyewitness to his father's schemes. And, while Dr. Phil speaks one on one with Jennifer, Jeffrey has a total meltdown backstage, becoming physically ill. When Dr. Phil confronts him about his anxieties and offers a solution, will Jeffrey choose to make a change? Don’t miss the second part of this dramatic and emotional story, and find out if this family is on the path to healing or headed to divorce court.  Join the discussion.

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April 26, 2007, 2:55 pm CDT

in the same boat

I've been married for 8 yrs. I really feel for this lady , I know some what how she feels. No matter what she does, he doesn't trust her. My husband isn't as bad as this but my friends and family don't see how I can stay with him. In my case there is alot of alcohol involved with my husband. I hope she can get the nerve to get the hell out!
 
April 26, 2007, 3:09 pm CDT

Get Out Now!!!!

Please get out of that marriage, it is very unhealthy and it will only get worst!!!!
 
April 26, 2007, 3:10 pm CDT

What about HER?

Quote From: chernandez1980

AFTER WATCHING THE SHOW I BELIEVE JENNIFER THRIVES OFF WHAT JEFFERY DOES TO HER.  WHAT WOMAN WOULD STAY WITH A MAN THAT DOES THESE KINDS OF THINGS.  THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR YEARS AND FOR THE MOST PART OF THE THINGS HE DOES SHE KNOWS ABOUT IT.  JENNIFER CLAIMED SHE WAS NOT FINANCIAL STABLE TO LEAVE AND SHE HAD KIDS.  WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE ARE THE BOTH OF THEM SETTING FOR THE KIDS, BOTH STATED WHEN SHE WAS LOCKED IN THE BASEMENT THAT THE KIDS WAS RIGHT THERE.  DO NEITHER SEE THAT THE KIDS KNOW SOMETHING IS GOING ON AND NOT ONLY IS JEFFERY DOING THIS TO HIS WIFE BUT TO HIS KIDS.  AFTER BEING ASKED ABOUT THE PICTURES HE HAS TAKEN OF JENNIFER NUDE AND WAS ASKED IF HE HAS SHOWED THESE TO ANYONE, BASICALLY HE SAID HE HAS, SO TO ME THAT STATES HE HAS FRIENDS AND SHARES THESE THINGS WITH.  WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE IN HER HAVING A FRIEND TO TALK TO AND HANG OUT WITH JUST AS FRIENDS AND THIS GUY IS TAKING NUDE PICTURES OF HIS WIFE AND SHOWING THEM OFF.  THE MYSPACE PICTURES WAS BROUGHT UP, WELL AT LEAST IN THOSE PICTURES SHE DOES HAVE A BATHING SUIT ON AND NOT NUDE.  THE KIDS WILL GROW UP AND THEY WILL HAVE BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIENDS WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO THE SAME THING TO HIS KIDS JUST BECAUSE HE DON'T LIKE THEM AND DON'T TRUST THEM.  I BELIEVE THAT IF SHE TRULY WANTED OUT AND WANTED TO GET AWAY FROM THE ABUSE AND THE HORRIBLE THINGS THAT THIS MAN HAS BEEN DOING TO HER FOR YEARS THAT SHE WOULD HAVE FOUND A WAY. THERE IS PROGRAMS AND ORGANIZATIONS OUT THERE TO HELP WOMEN IN HER SITUATION. WHAT PERSON IN THERE RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO LIVE A LIFE WHERE HER EVERY MOVE MADE IS NOT ONLY WATCHED BUT RECORDED AND KNOWING ABOUT IT.  JEFFERY HAS A NOT ONLY OBSESSION PROBLEM BUT POSSESSIVE AND SAYING HE NEEDS HELP IS CRAZY IN MY OPINION.  THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN CONTROL WHAT HE IS DOING HIS HIM.  HE HAS A SICK MIND AND DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE A WIFE OR FAMILY. 
I agree - - - - She is not just an innocent little victim.  She has CHEATED on him TWICE , goes out clubbing and send pictures to guys on the internet.  He can't be too controlling or how did that happen?  Yes - he is excessive but - he does have reason for his behavior.  She is not without fault.  I am no angel and have had problems in my marriage but, hey, let's say it like it is...
 
April 26, 2007, 3:15 pm CDT

So sad

How can anyone live like that???  So sad.  Run girl.  Run as fast as you can.  Get help wherever you can.  Go to any church and there will be people to help you.  This man will surely kill you some day.  He has already killed your self respect.,  Dr Phil please tell her to run. 
 
April 26, 2007, 3:18 pm CDT

extreme danger

     This poor woman is in extreme danger.  If her husband goes to such extreme lengths to monitor her whereabouts and behavior while they are married; what happens when they divorce?  His obsession will not stop, it will just become more dangerous.  What can she do from here?
 
April 26, 2007, 3:22 pm CDT

I totally agree with Kathy

Quote From: kathy324

I DARE YOU TO TRY SUPPORTING 4 CHILDREN ON A MINIMUM WAGE Job.  YOU ARE  SO AFRAID OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN. YOU NEVER ENJOY LIFE BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT WILL BE DONE TO GET BACK  FOR THE NUTEST THINGS.  THE TIRES ON THE CAR SLIT SO YOU CAN'T GO TO WORK AND MAKE HER LOSE HER JOB. THEN HAVE TO COME BACK TO HIM ON HER HANDS AND KNEES AND TELL HIM HOW WRONG SHE  WAS.  THEN SHE HAS TO BE PUNISHED FOR HER BAD DEEDS. I ATTEMPTED SUSI DE. AS YOU CAN TELL I DID NOT SECEDE.  WAS HELL BEFORE JUST WAIT TILL YOU FOUND FIND OUT WHAT HE THOUGHT TO CORRECT THIS SITUATION WHY HE WAITED FOR YOU TO HOME. OF COURSE WHAT HAD HAPPENED BEFORE WAS CHILD PLAY.  HOW DARE YOU SAY  SHE SHOULD JUST WALK AWAY. YOU HAVE NO!!!! IDEA WHAT HELL ON EARTH IS LIKE.  DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE WHAT YOU HAVE NOT EXPERIENCE.

Never judge someone or their situation unless you have been there.  This girl was so young when she married this man she has no idea what to do now.  I hope Dr. Phil tells her to run and never stop.  She can get help with government agencies and churchs.
 
April 26, 2007, 4:15 pm CDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Quote From: rgoshien

   If you cheat on your husband what do you expect him to do?  Just let it go and not say anything?  I will say that he has gone a little to far, but he has good reason.  If you don't want to be with him just go to a shelter or a relatives home.  I understand you have kids, but the kids don't need to see it either.  Do you want your sons growing up like him?  I just wanted to get that off my chest. 
did you ever think that she seriously is not happy and is thriving to be with someone who cares?? i know for a fact that when you are in a bad relationship you will look elsewhere for love , understanding, and someone who cares. he has gone way over the edge with this poor woman and she is looking for something that is definately not in this relationship. i have been in a poor relationship for a few years. always depending on friends to have open ears and give me support. as for why does she stay with him?? when you have financial ties it unfortunately can make a woman feel very insecure as to what will she do to support herself.. it is alot to think abot. my husband is not abusive but totally financial controlling which has ed me to find other part time jobs for my own spending money. the problem is the minute i do that, he thinks that is partially hi money also. so you feel stuck,, trapped.. i fear for her.. he is over the edge.. she needs someone to care from the heart without this fear she has  hanging over her.
 
April 26, 2007, 4:32 pm CDT

Both Need Help

Jeffrey obviously needs help to overcome his obsessiveness and trust issues.  He has gone way too far. 

 

However, Jennifer is at fault, too.  She cheated on her husband which caused him not to trust her.  It takes a lot of relationship work to regain trust.  If she wasn't happy in her marriage it would have been best if she had left him before she had the affair.  Also, why does she have a My Space page that she doesn't want her husband to look at?  She obviously is going out to bars with her girlfriends as well as men friends without her husband which does damage to the marriage relationship.  That email from her girlfriend was a bit strange.  I don't know about other women, but I don't have any girlfriends that tell me I'm sexy. 

 

When you marry, the two of you are joined.  I do not have any emails, blogs, pictures, diaries that I wouldn't share with my husband.  I don't go anywhere with my friends where he is not welcome  -- he just doesn't want to sit around talking with a bunch of women.  But I also don't go anywhere that would put me in a compromising position about my marriage.  We respect each other's privacy but we trust each other.  Otherwise, why be in a relationship? 

 

Obviously Jeffrey and Jennifer need to separate.  This is not a good environment for the children and their welfare needs to be considered.  Jennifer needs to find out why she cheated.  She married an older man when she was still very young and probably feels like she has missed out on some things.   Jeffrey needs to find out why he is so obsessive and how to control it.  He will also need to learn how to trust again.

 

 
April 26, 2007, 5:04 pm CDT

computer solutions

Now I have to agree with the other people who are writing about how sick the husband is!  I agree, there is no longer any room for reasoning. She's no angel but gees! This woman needs someone to intervien.This is not about "living on less money" as one person wrote, This is truly about abuse and how she is going to recover. She is in a whole different kind of distress. Post and present trauma. He has convinced her that sex is what will please him and she has no idea how sick his idea of sex REALLY is. The money issue is only a small but important part of this. God forbid she is afraid that her children could have somehow been exploited or affected, what then? This lifestyle she participated in was the closest she may have had to affection, and if she "cheated" is she sure he did not have somemthing to do with it , even setting her up. He already has admitted that he liked the idea of images of her being seen by others. I agree with Dr. Phil, she is in the dark , and there could be something more sinister to his actions besides jealousy. HELP HER

 
April 26, 2007, 5:07 pm CDT

GOOD CALL!

Quote From: thyme4you

did you ever think that she seriously is not happy and is thriving to be with someone who cares?? i know for a fact that when you are in a bad relationship you will look elsewhere for love , understanding, and someone who cares. he has gone way over the edge with this poor woman and she is looking for something that is definately not in this relationship. i have been in a poor relationship for a few years. always depending on friends to have open ears and give me support. as for why does she stay with him?? when you have financial ties it unfortunately can make a woman feel very insecure as to what will she do to support herself.. it is alot to think abot. my husband is not abusive but totally financial controlling which has ed me to find other part time jobs for my own spending money. the problem is the minute i do that, he thinks that is partially hi money also. so you feel stuck,, trapped.. i fear for her.. he is over the edge.. she needs someone to care from the heart without this fear she has  hanging over her.
 
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